Chapter 7

I had hoped that for once in my life, a good day wouldn't go bad. Just for once, but I guess that was too much to ask for.

I looked at Liz and my mother expectedly, "What's wrong?"

"The doctors just left, it turns out things were worse than we thought. The cancer cells are travelling in a quicker rate and it is spreading across his body; it is going to reach his heart. We have passed the stage where we could do anything about it. There is nothing that they can do now. It's done for."

It was a shock. I honestly couldn't deal with it, I can't take the pain anymore: so I stepped out of the house and went running and I didn't stop until I reached the graveyard. I know that my dad wasn't buried here but, I felt close to him in a way. It is where dead people linger after all. I had looked to the sky and thought 'Why does everyone eventually leave?'

Everyone leaves, everyone lies, everyone comes and goes freely, and it sucks. I can't take it anymore.

A few weeks later, Matt didn't look any better, and it looked like he was dying slowly. It hurt like hell, it felt like a wound has reopened itself.

I had tried my breathing exercises and it doesn't work. It's all stupid, I have no idea how I ended up here, crying and dying metaphorically.

I looked towards Matt and I tried to give him a smile that didn't show how much I had been hurting the past few weeks. It had been going like this:

I watch Matt for a while and then Dan and Matt do some physical exercises. Then Matt visits the doctor's office and we check up on him (which seems pointless to me and to him), while he is at the doctor's office we play some card games or board games with the kids sometimes. When they come back we eat lunch then back to square one.

I could feel Matt slowly getting depressed and it wasn't just him it was everyone else too. It sucks, Matt used to be the positive one, the one with a retarded sense of humor and now he's just a sitting duck that believes that he has nothing left to live for.

I had been reading a book to him and he had looked well depressed. It looked horrible, and I had, had enough.

"Seriously."

"What?"

"You are seriously giving up?"

"Giving up what?"

"Giving up on yourself and letting this disease take over you."

"Emma-"

"No don't 'Emma' me. You can't give up on yourself that easily. It isn't fair on you or on anyone that cares about you."

"Emma it's hard"

"You don't think I know that, may I remind you ], I saw my dad go through this. But the difference is he fought against this disease, and you, you gave up the moment things got bad. That makes me question what kind of best friend I have. Because I know I didn't befriend a quitter, you weren't like this. At least when you go down, go down fighting," in the middle of my speech I hadn't realized that I was crying and Dan had been there. "You take your brother, I can't deal with him right now," I ran out of the room and to the gardens. I had started to look at the sunset and that's when I realized that someone was behind me.

"We need to talk."

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