Chapter 11

Pride

My hand is hanging in the air. I gave him an awkward smile. How can I act properly? How should I? He's eyeing me without any emotion. It's giving me chills. I waited for 6 years, for this day to come. Now, that it finally happened, I had forgotten what to do when he came back. My heart is racing while looking at him. I feel nervous that I could not move my body.

He changed. He became more handsome than before. His body broadens even more. His eyebrows, hazelnut eyes, nose, and his lips never changed a bit. His jaw enhanced more than what I anticipated. He became tall too. If I go beside him, I think I am not tall enough to reach his neck. My height is just under his shoulders. I'm not that tall at all. If I am not mistaken, his hair is like Cha Eun Woo's hair. I saw him many times on Cassandra's phone. He has some hair on his forehead, just like that Korean actor.

I gulped.

“Aunt asked me to fetch you, where's Elizabeth?”

He turned at Elizea and didn't even respond to me. My mouth opened while looking at him. I just felt my hands going down slowly. I feel weak, right now. The awkward smile on my lips vanished as he didn't even talk to me. My heart's beating became slow.

I feel broke. Millions of knives stabbed my chest, and I can feel how it bleeds inside. I want to burst in tears. My eyes will water, but I can't cry just because of that.

It's Cades, right? Did he forget about me? I wanted to speak, but I could not. I wanted to move and ask him many things after 6 years, but I could not move. It's all clear to me. Everything happened when I was 11 years old. From the very beginning, where I met him. The day we discovered our secret place. The day he told me something about him that's hurting him. The day he promised to me.

How can he do that? I guess Cassandra's what ifs happened. I didn't expect that it would hurt more.

Elizea didn't answer quickly. She doesn't know where to look. To me, or to Cades.

“Is he Cades?” I heard Ethan asked beside me.

“How did you know about him?” Cassandra asked.

“And why did you two know that guy, when I don't?” Marius asked confusingly. I can't turn around at them. My eyes are stuck at Cades.

My hand clenches while watching him act like he doesn't know me.

“It's Elizea's cousin.” Cassandra answered Marius instead.

“S-she will go home by herself,” Elizea eyed me. “Margel, you should co--”

My eyes widened when Ethan held my hand irrationally. My eyes turned at him. He's just eyeing Cades and smirking arrogantly.

“I can take care of her.” He said, without removing that smirk. I have never seen him smirked like that. What has gotten to him?

“Ethan, wh--”

He pats my head and smiles widely. I stopped and looked at him with my mouth opened. I don't know what he is exactly doing right now.

“Okay.” I stopped. I looked at Cades unbelievably. Before I could even react, he opened the car and went in. He slammed the door and waited for Elizea who is now eyeing us. She seems confused. Her eyes are speaking how she doesn't know what to do. I gave her a nod to get rid of that.

As the car drove away, I sighed and removed Ethan's hand. I feel weak all of a sudden. My heart is aching even more. For the past 6 years, all I think is Cades. Now, the day I waited finally arrived. The thing is, I didn't anticipate that he would change. The Cades I used to love as my friend changed. How can I not think of Cassandra's what ifs?

“He's just your childhood friend, why act like that?” Marius asked. Cassandra glared at him. Maybe Cassandra told him everything now.

“I'll take you home.” I looked at Ethan. He looks serious. I have never seen him like this before. What he did earlier was unexpected. For the past years I have known him, I didn't anticipate that. I know he has feelings for me. I rejected it, many times. However, even if I rejected him many times, he didn't avoid me and acted like I am his friend. I'm aware that he still has feelings for me.

But seeing him act like that is unusual. He never did that.

“Can I take home the pizza?” Marius asked with puppy eyes.

“What a pig.” Cassandra said and flipped her hair.

“If you're taking her home, I'll go home then. See you tomorrow!” She kissed me on my cheeks before she left. That's normal. Cassandra has been kissing me on my cheeks every time she will leave. I'm not surprise anymore.

“Me too, bye.” Marius left with the pizza. They left me here, with Ethan. I can't even eye him now. Here the awkwardness goes again. Since the day he confessed, this awkwardness never leaves. There's a boundary between us, after that.

How I wish he didn't have feelings for me. Maybe we are so comfortable with each other.

“Should I call a tr--”

“We can walk.” I smiled at him, trying to break the awkwardness. He got surprised but still nodded at me. As we started walking to head home, none of us spoke. We are just walking while sensing each other. I'm trying to watch him with my peripheral vision. Why did I even let Cassandra leave?

The blast of the cold wind suddenly appeared. I felt chills because of that. I guess the weather suddenly became cold. Our house is not too far from our school. It will only take 5 minutes before we reach it by walking. Apparently, Cades and Elizea are definitely home by now.

I'm starting to hate him.

“What will you do if he's home?” I eyed Ethan surprisingly. He didn't look at me. Instead, he looked at nowhere. Of course, he's pertaining to me. We are both alone here, walking.

It got me thinking. How am I supposed to act like I don't remember how we met when we were kids? He ignored me when he saw me. He probably doesn't know me. Not only that, but he has forgotten everything. Why did I even wait?

I sighed. “Well, I don't know.” I laughed a bit.

“You should ignore him too,” Now, he eyed me. “Don't act like you are affected, act like nothing happened too. That's what he did, right?” He smirked and looked away from me. Is that what I have to do? He has a point. If I act like it's a big deal to me, well, it really does though. I will look crazy over him, to a friend I waited for 6 years.

Ugh, I won't let that happen. I have my pride.

“Have pride?” I asked and laughed at him. It feels more relieving.

“Yes, have your pride. You're the top 1, don't drop it just because of a man.” Again, he smiled at me. I can't help but to reminisce Cades' smile. It is still clear to me. All the memories we shared when we were young. His wide smile and his hazelnut eyes, that is what I always remember.

“I'm flattered.” We both laughed, until I realized that we already reached our house. It's crazy, but this is the fact. Walking with someone to talk with makes your destination near even more. Even if that destination is far, when someone is with you, talking with many things while walking, you will not know that you both already reached your destination.

I saw their car in front of Aunt's house. Time flies so fast. Cades is back again, with his new personality.

“Are you alone?” Ethan asked while looking at our house. I looked back too. It seems like my parents are not home yet.

“Not really. My parents must be doing overtime again.” He nodded. My parents usually do that now. They become more busy. As I grew up, it has been hard living in this house all by myself. Although my Aunt and Grandma are there for me, a parent is still different. I used to wake up and sleep without seeing them so often. That's okay. As their daughter, I understand them. Mom told me that they don't want me to worry about my needs, all I have to focus and worry is my study.

She wants me to keep my promises at them. I promised them to study hard and graduate as a Nurse. I promised them to have a Nurse daughter soon. Furthermore, I promised them that I will be the one to give everything soon, and they will just stay at home, or maybe travel, while I am working.

I promised to pay back all their hard work.

“I'll go home now. See you tomorrow.” He smiled like everything's fine.

“Go home safely.” I said before I waved my hand at him.

“Who's that, Margel?” I startled when Aunt Liza appeared at my back with her suspicious eyes. I was about to laugh when Cades and Elizea appeared with her too. As my eyes met Cades' eyes, I looked away.

Ethan's right. I should have my pride.

“That's Ethan, Aunt. He likes Margel.” Elizea giggled while I glared at her. She's teasing me again, when Ethan is his friend.

Accidentally, my eyes went to Cades. I gulped when I saw how cold his eyes were. Is he mad? He's not in the right shoes to be.

“Do you like him?” Aunt giggled while teasing me.

I eyed Cades again. His eyes are threatening me. Instead of saying the truth, I lied.

“Maybe.”

I said, before I walked away.

If you have forgotten everything, then I will forget it too, Cades.

I have my pride.

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