True Intentions

I'm bothered right now.

The reason, this little girl who's currently sleeping soundly while riding on my back.

First of all, I'm bothered as to why she could sleep after an hour of continuously telling gruesome stories and poking my cheek as if she was just an innocent, cute-looking little girl. Seems like her energy gets depleted that easily too, that she got suddenly became quiet and then slumped her face against my shoulder, all while emitting a 'zzzzzz' aura around her.

Thinking of it, she might me cute but she's definitely not innocent.

If I got it correctly, she told me this just minutes ago after I used myself as a shield to protect her from all that darts raining out from all directions:

'...Big brother, good job on dodging all of that! You know, it reminded me of that time thousands of years ago, when arrows tens of thousands times more than that rained all over the world when I waged war with the gods. It's really fascinating to see corpses piled around being full of holes, big brother! Ahhh, that *plok* sound those dead bodies make when I pull the arrows out from them, it feels satisfying for me to hear! Big brother, if you want let's do it again some other time!", she said to me then she let out a chuckle.

My stomach almost turned when I heard her say that.

Second, is the sound she makes when sleeping.

Well, I don't have that much problems regarding that, it's just that I never heard someone make those sounds while they're asleep. I have cousins that are still young, but they all live in the province so how would I know if they can also make that sound? Am I strange for being curious about those things?

The girl behind me placed her head in a way that, I could hear her let out those soft breathing sounds clearly with my right ear. Other than that, I could feel her every breath against my neck. It feels ticklish, to be honest.

The last thing, is all about the strange sensation I'm feeling on my back.

Okay, I know it's not right for me to think about it, but I can't help it that I've been feeling that for some time now.

I never expected that she have these strange 'softness' all this time, EVEN THOUGH SHE'S JUST A LITTLE GIRL.

REN MORTEL, STOP WITH THAT THOUGHT RIGHT NOW! OR ELSE...

Okay. But seriously, I could feel potential coming from her. Just saying.

Coming back, I'm feeling so bothered right now.

We finally made our way out of the cave. It was really fortunate that all of the traps didn't sprang out of their hiding places while on our way out, but it still left a bitter taste in my mouth.

The fact that I released this girl--someone who tried to destroy this world in the past--from her seal, there's this tiny bit of regret welling up in my heart. For me, I shouldn't have poked my head into something I shouldn't even discovered in the first place. My curiosity caused me a lot of trouble, and here I am paying the price for all of it.

Whether I'm doomed or not, it's too late for me to turn back.

This girl, the Death Goddess as she calls herself, unfortunately became my companion.

'Until when?', that is the question that sprouted instantly in my mind after that.

Would she use me to unleash death and destruction into this world once more after fully gaining my trust, then afterwards dispose me immediately once she achieved everything that she wants? Did she, a powerful existence deemed unreachable and untouchable to anyone, delegate me as her scapegoat should her actions be made public? Am I...going straight into hell just now?!

If everything was just a pretense, then what would happen to me...?

Unknowingly to me, the Death Goddess has finally woke up upon stepping out of the cave. She let out a big yawn, then greeted me while rubbing her still languid eyes.

"...Big brother...good day..."

The moment she opened her eyes, she became awake suddenly. "...B-Big brother! I-Is this, the outside?"

"Yeah. We managed to get out of the cave." I spoke in a seemingly tired manner.

"...Woooow! We did it, big brother!!!" Her eyes sparkled when she said that.

She hurriedly got off from me back, then ran towards the sea of sand in front of her that's being heated by the late afternoon sun. "...Big brother! I could see the sun again after thousands of years! Thanks, big bro--hot, hot, HOOOTTTTT!!!!! The sand's too hot, big brother!!!"

I only nodded while watching her scramble back to the shade just a few steps inside the entrance of the cave.

She finally got out of the seal after more than two thousand years, and it's all because of me.

From now on, she could freely do whatever she want in this world, and no one has the ability to stop her from her tracks...except maybe for one person: Me.

She told me that I now have the ability to do it. If what she said was true, then maybe, somehow...I could delay the destruction of this world just by keeping watch of all her antics.

I should try to act a wee bit cooperative to her for a meantime, as if I'm her actual brother. In order to know her real intentions, and to know up to what extent my fate will depend on her.

"...Hm? What's wrong, big brother? You seem to be not feeling happy now that we got out of this dark place. Is there something wrong?" She asked me in a worried expression.

"H-Huh? Ah, n-no, it's nothing! I-I'm just a bit tired and hungry, that's all." I glossed over my thoughts from her.

"...Hmmm..." She pouted her lips a bit when I said that. "...Now that you said it, I remembered that I haven't eaten anything all this time! Big brother...is there something we can eat here in this place?"

Huh? She's hungry? Well, if you got stuck for a very long time without food, would you not feel really hungry too?

*grumble* Looks like my stomach is already complaining for some time now as well.

I still have some energy left to be able to look for food but if Prick's here it won't be a difficult task.

Speaking of which, where's that guy?

"Prick...where did you go, buddy?" I muttered to myself as I started looking around for him.

"...P-Prick? Who's that, big brother?" The Death Goddess asked.

"He's my friend. For some reason I can't see him everywhere, I wonder where did he go?"

It's been hours since the time I decided to enter the cave, and there might be a possibility that he grew tired of waiting for me and decided to leave me behind. I hope that won't happen, but I said to myself earlier that I should prepare myself for the worst scenario.

"Prick...I hope that you didn't left me be...--"

Just somewhere far away, against the horizon, I could see something large and is moving towards my direction.

"Prick!!!" I shouted in joy.

That huge bulk of a monster, seems like he went somewhere while waiting for me to get out of the cave.

"You, how dare you leave me behind?!--Just kidding, I'm glad you stayed here, Prick!" I said while patting his scary-looking pincers.

"...E-Eh?! B-Big brother! T-That lowly mortal creature, he's Prick?!" The Death Goddess asked me while feeling shocked.

"Yeah. This one, he might be scary but actually he's a good guy. He accompanied me here in the desert, too bad he won't fit inside the cave." I answered.

Also, don't call him 'lowly' and 'mortal', if you won't mind. I could sense hostility rising from him when you said that.

Those liquids slowly dripping out from his stingers are enough to prove that.

"You might already know that he's a behemoth just by looks alone, but even he has feelings too. You should say 'sorry' to him." I looked at her with a serious gaze.

Just this time, I'll try scolding her for once, then observe how she would react.

The Death Goddess, in contrast to my expectation, looked down in regret when I said that to her.

"...S-Sorry..."

Hm? That's...pretty quick. I expected her to hesitate or argue for a bit, but this girl right here, did what I said without any second thought.

For the meantime let's do another test to see if she's capable of socializing with others.

"Um, in case you're wondering, Prick...this girl, I met her inside the cave. Seems like she got trapped there for a few days already, and there's no one looking for her up until now. That's why I thought that she could come with us while traveling in this desert. Is that okay with you, Prick?" I asked with a discreet wink at him.

The behemoth, noticing immediately that I'm planning on something, caught up with my intention as his stingers 'nodded' in agreement.

I then looked at the girl. "G-Good! T-Then you too, I hope that you two could become good friends! If it's okay with you, would you shake 'hands' with him?"

The Death Goddess, surprised with the sudden turn of events, also reluctantly nodded.

The behemoth and a goddess--two beings I didn't expected to meet face-to-face in my whole life, then shook hands with each other, with Prick using his stingers for the act.

I clapped my hand happily. "With this, the three of us are travel companions from now on! Let's do our best in surviving in this harsh environment, okay?"

The two of them, nodded once more.

Okay! Now with the ever-observant Prick on my side, it'll be easier for me to take note of this girl's intentions.

Let's see how long will she keep up with that facade of hers.

---------------------------------

After that, we started looking for a nearby oasis for us to finally have our dinner.

I already skipped breakfast and lunch, that's why I'm hoping that the last meal for today would be able to compensate for the two of them.

This girl also, looks like she can't endure the hunger anymore as she only placed herself in a prone position while trying to suppress the grumbling of her stomach that's not been filled up for millennia.

"Don't worry, Prick has already discovered an oasis earlier, it would take us some few more minutes till we reach the place." I said to her while gently touching her soft blue hair with my hand.

I'm hoping that, before the sun has set we could finally arrive at the oasis. The weather's milder than yesterday and there's no monsters on this part of the desert, so there's no problems staying there for the night.

And just as Prick has 'told' me, we could see the oasis from a distance, against the red sunset and purple skies.

"Look, finally we can eat and take some rest!" I said to the Death Goddess.

When I said that, she sluggishly got up and confirmed whether that is true.

"...It is."

She spoke in a very faint voice.

Upon reaching the place, I hurriedly got off from Prick's back and gathered as much fruit as possible. Hopefully with the amount I harvested, it will be enough for the three of us.

Afterwards, I made a bonfire by rubbing two colored stones I just found on the oasis together, then carefully putting the sparks on top of a pile of sticks. It's amazing to find out that, I could finally apply the things I could only see in television in the real life.

"Here, Prick. Thanks for the ride, as always." I spoke to him while giving him his share of the fruits I gathered.

As soon as I finished placing all of the fruit on his back, he hurriedly separated himself from us, and ate his dinner alone in the dark. It seems that, he already sensed that the girl is something he should be wary of.

Going back to the camp fire, I noticed also that the girl is acting strange as she didn't eat even a single fruit.

"W-What's wrong? You seem to be feeling down, don't you like the fruits here in the oasis? Although I wanted to serve meat for you, I can't find a single beast here in this kind of place. I'm really sorry for that."

The Death Goddess looked at me and shook her head. "...N-No, that's not it. It's just, um..."

'Hm?' I raised my eyebrows in wonder.

She paused for a while, then spoke again as she sat while hugging her knees tightly. "...Big brother...what do you really think of me...?"

"H-Huh?"

"...I know, all this time...you're testing me to see whether my intentions to you are sincere or not. Although I can't blame you for that action, I still wanted to know the truth directly from you."

Hey...

There's no way I could be THAT obvious, right? I mean, I'm observing her actions very carefully and yet, she caught immediate notice of it? Up to how much sensitivity this girl has with regards to other people's intent towards her?

Oh, she's a god, I forgot. Maybe all deities have extreme sensitivity about telling lies and stuff, that's why the moment she made eye contact with me, she already knew that I'm scheming something against her.

What a bummer.

"...You can tell anything to me, your little sister! No matter how painful or embarrassing it is, I'll wholeheartedly accept all of it! After all...that's what big brother thinks of me, right?" She looked at me with an upturned gaze.

Beneath those innocent-looking eyes, are the gazes filled with deep anger and displeasure. She's not showing it, but her real self has a potential to show should I say something reckless to her.

Having her look at me like that, I have no choice but to tell her what I think of her right now.

"M-My thoughts on y-you...? A-Ah, well...how would I put this...c-cute, playful, and at the same time t-thoughtf--"

"...THERE'S NO WAY YOU WOULD THINK OF ME LIKE THAT!!!!!"

I got startled when she suddenly shouted and stood while facing me.

"...Ever since the world began...no one dared to say in front of me that I look cute, or playful, or whatever! Instead, they call me 'ugly', 'frightening', 'ruthless', and 'evil'! I thought that you'll say those same painful words to me but...why...? Why are you so afraid on telling me the truth?!!!"

When she said that tears flowed into her cheek, that it smudged her face that clearly showed anger and disappointment towards me.

"...Why don't you just become like everyone, who only think of me as something that is unwanted and unnecessary? Why don't you just openly express your hatred towards an existence like me who only brings pain and suffering to all? Why don't you just tell me that you totally regret unlocking that cursed seal and bringing me back again into this world? Is it because you're afraid to die? Tell me, TELL ME!!!"

"IT'S BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO SAY IT TO YOU!!!!!" I shouted also at her.

Being unable to control myself any longer, I approached her and grabbed her tightly by the shoulder.

"YOU ALREADY UNDERSTAND WHAT I FEEL, RIGHT? THEN WHY WOULD I BOTHER TELLING IT TO YOU FOR THE SECOND TIME?! IS IT BECAUSE, YOU WANTED TO CONFIRM THAT I RESENTED BEING TRAPPED IN THE SAME SITUATION AS YOURS? YOU WANTED ME, A MERE HUMAN TO SAY THAT BY FREEING YOU FROM THAT DAMN SEAL I CONSEQUENTIALLY BECAME YOUR COVER ONCE YOU STARTED DESTROYING THIS WORLD AGAIN, IS THAT WHAT YOU MEAN?!!"

"...W-Wha--" The Death Goddess felt petrified at my words.

"Even up to now, I'm still thinking that it's a huge mistake for me that I went inside that cave and placed my hand on that circle but, did you heard anything from me because of that? You saw right through my pretense and yet, did I said something all this time that we're together that would definitely hurt you? There was none, right? I openly decided to tag you along in spite of all those thoughts but in the end I ignored all of it, because I finally realized that you're not an evil god."

After that moment she shouted at me, I realized that what I'm doing to her was wrong.

Prejudice towards other persons, without knowing or believing in their actual circumstances, seems unfair for the person in question. Even a god, isn't safe from it.

Someone like her who already lived for thousands of years, has already suffered all kinds of emotional pain just because of everyone's prejudices towards her. It might be that she only wanted the love and attention she deserves but no one dared to give it to her, either because they are afraid of her, or maybe because she's someone to deserves to be loathed instead.

She kept all of it inside her heart, until reached the point where she decided to become what everyone thinks of her.

When compared to my experiences, her suffering overwhelm mine by a really unimaginable margin. And for me to think of her harshly without even thinking of that, I might be even more heartless than what everyone think of her.

"I wanted to think of you like the way they said you are, but my conscience won't allow me to treat someone like you, a little girl, in a bad way."

That's right. In front of me...is just a little girl.

Just like her, all children doesn't deserve to be treated harshly by anyone, by all means. Instead, they all have a right to a stable and nurturing environment where they feel secure and loved. In her case she never experienced receiving care and affection by others, hence her aspirations to experience having it.

I kneel down on one foot and spoke while looking directly at her eyes. "Right now, I'm thinking of you as someone who should be taken care of, nothing less. If because of your past that you're acting overly familiar with me, then I'll accept being your brother."

At this point, I don't care anymore about my future. If the fate of this world resides on her being content and happy, then I have no regrets on assuming the role of being her so-called 'big brother'. After all, I don't have any siblings to begin with, that's why I considered it as a good opportunity for me to experience having a cute little sister.

"What's with that face, are you not believing what I said just now?" I asked her while wiping her cheeks that became wet with tears.

The Death Goddess, who became shocked because of my declaration, finally exhaled a breath full of sheer happiness and relief.

"...B-Big brother...?"

"Yes. I'm your big brother from now on." I calmly replied to her.

At that instant, tears flowed again from her eyes.

"...BIG BROTHER!!!!!" She leaped suddenly into my chest as she continued to sob.

I gently patted her back to calm her down. "Good grief. Now, how would I tell Prick that you're my little sister?", I muttered to myself with a faint smile.

For some reason, I became optimistic that my chances of surviving in this harsh world will become higher now that this girl has become my companion. It's not because she's a god, but because I feel more secure if there are more people around me.

Oh, Prick's already finished eating? He's coming towards our direction.

"Prick! Good timing, I wanted to tell you that this girl..."

At that point I realized something: We don't know each other's names!

I forgot to ask her name because of everything that happened, now that I need to introduce her to Prick, how would I do it if I don't know what will I call her?

"Um...I forgot to ask you while we're inside the cave, but what is your name?" I asked her.

The Death Goddess, already calmed down after crying for a few minutes, looked at me with a puzzled look. "...I don't have any." She replied.

Is it that because she is a goddess, that she didn't need any name? That she's satisfied being called only 'Death Goddess'?

Think, Ren, think.

"Do you want me...to give you a name?" I asked.

"Eh? Please!" She said happily.

Now, Ren. Think of a name that will suit her. Think, think.

"...Aoi." I muttered after thinking for a while.

"...What did you say, big brother?"

I put my hands on her two shoulders again, and looked at her blue hair and eyes.

"...E-Eh? Big brother..." Her eyes looked at me while being flustered.

"Aoi...that is your name from now on." I said to her with a smile.