Ch. 9: Before I Was Admitted

Screams. Before the class President even introduced us, all you could hear was the sound of cheering coming through the closed drapes. That alone would tell someone what my sister's band was capable of. But I was so focused on making sure I had the bass part memorized, I didn't realize the seriousness of all of this. And when the curtains were drawn all I could see was a sea of hands waving and heads bobbing. One would naturally think that this was a professional band. Thinking back on what I said about audiences, earlier this morning, about taking one look around the room and being able to tell what people think about you. Looking out at this crowd, one thing was for sure. This band was loved by this school.

Before I was admitted, I played at a bar, called 'The Mushu Bar', that my grandfather used to work at, before he died. And just like here at the school auditorium, screams are all you would hear once I was done playing. Well that, along with the occasional tossing of women's underwear onto the stage. This crowd won't be doing that, although that would be nice. I would say the one thing this audience has better, than the bar, is the acoustics and the ability to fit more than 50 people.

'Mushu Bar' was the start of my and Kikyo's musical journey's. Everything we know about music was taught to us by our grandfather. Cool thing about it is that Kikyo and I still live in our grandfather's apartment that's just right upstairs. I guess you could say, the old man didn't mind shitting where he slept. And why were we living with our grandfather? At the age of 8, my mother left me and Kikyo to live with him, while she ran off with her boyfriend, who didn't have any interest in kids. As for my father? Who knows what happened to that man. What I did know was that he was a guy who was supposedly my mother's first and true love, but still decided to abandon his responsibilities of being a father and left her to do everything on her own. I still remember that first night, with the old man, like it was yesterday.

10 Years Ago:

"So that's your so-called plan, huh? To miss out on your kid's lives?"

"I didn't ask to be left struggling the way that I have! They'll be better off with you anyway!"

"So dropping everything and leaving is the best thing to do? You're just like him."

"I don't need to hear this! You have no right to judge what I do! You're a drunk and live off of a bar for goodness sake!"

"And you just said that they'll be better off with me? You definitely sound like him to me."

"You're taking them and that's that! Either that, or I'll leave here with them and drop them off with Child Services! And then you can really blame me for something!" After that, she stormed out of the bar without saying goodbye to me or Kikyo.

To this day, I'm not sure if my mom just didn't realize she was talking too loud, or if she just didn't care to think I was old enough to understand the situation. But realistically, I'm not mad at my mother for never being able to be in a stable relationship with anyone after my father. It was the desperation and the constant need to be with someone, even if it meant choosing them over her own children, is what I resent her for.

When my grandfather came to get us, one wouldn't think that he would have the title "grandfather". He was a 65 year old man, but looked no older than 40 and barely had any gray hair. Guess that's a good thing for us, as far as genes go. The look on his face was obvious disappointment, but he was good at keeping his emotions in check, especially when he was in front of us. All he did after my mom left was show us to our rooms and told us not to wander around since he was going to be working downstairs.

In the middle of the night, Kikyo must've realized our mom wasn't going to come back for us. So she came into my room and cried herself to sleep, in my lap. I knew she only fell asleep out of exhaustion from all her crying because I was having a hard time just keeping my eyes closed since the music coming from the bar was so loud.

I don't know how to explain it, but there was something about listening to the music in the dark, that night, that made being abandoned, just a few hours before, not so bad. After a week went by, I let my curiosity take over and snuck my way downstairs to see that the music had been coming from my grandfather, and his band, the whole time. The Mushu Bar is small, but I remember that they played with the enthusiasm of performing for an audience of thousands. Their charisma and style was that of a professional band and I felt like I had backstage access, as I watched from the staircase to upstairs. I also remember that his band was a 4 man crew, and he took the role of the guitar player. I didn't know at the time, but his guitar was a black 1987 Fender STR-70. It was hands down the most beautiful instrument I had ever seen, which he shortly passed down to me, since he saw I loved it so much. But that wasn't even the best part about that night. The thing I remember most was seeing how everyone, both men and women, loved, adored, and respected my grandfather. So I decided it was only right to be just like the man.

The next day, before opening, I visited the bar once again. This time, it was vacant. So empty, in fact, that it almost didn't even seem like the same bar. I had my eyes on the guitar my grandfather was playing the night before. And looking at it now, it didn't feel right for this particular guitar to just lean against a stool on the ground. I told myself that if I was just able to hold it that would be enough, but before I got the chance, my grandfather walked into the bar with two girls in both arms. There was no time to run upstairs, so I quickly got down on my hands and knees and crawled behind the bar.

"What would you ladies like to drink?"

"I'll take a shot of vodka, hun!"

"Make mine a strawberry margarita! You know how I like it a little sweet."

'Crap! I'm gonna get caught!'

"What are you doing down here, kid? I told you, you can't be down here."

"Who are you whispering to, Shizu! Aww, look! You didn't tell me you had a son!"

"He looks like he could be your little 'mini me'!"

The girls with my grandfather seemed to find me cute. But I couldn't really tell what my grandfather was thinking.

"He's actually my grandson. And he still needs to answer my question. Have you ever heard that closed mouths don't get fed?"

"He's probably hungry. Look how skinny he is."

"What would you like to eat? I could make something?"

He was right and this was the perfect chance as any. "I liked hearing you play, so I wanted to check out the instruments."

Present Day:

And from there, I don't exactly remember him ever really being against the idea of me learning how to play, I just remember him asking me if I wanted to learn how to play and after I said yes, he simply taught me. My grandfather quickly became a father figure that I needed, and for a while, Kikyo and I thought we actually had a decent family. Until he died when Kikyo and I were 15.

After he was gone, I took over his and his band's place with the performances at the bar. And in exchange, the owner of the bar let me and Kikyo continue to stay in the space upstairs, rent free. I'm glad he still let Kikyo stay even after I was admitted. But seeing how well things are going with our performance, at the school right now, I wouldn't be surprised if Kikyo is also playing at the bar now. Her singing has gotten a lot better, as well as her song writing. 3 years and she's really come a long way. I'll have to tell her "Thank you" for letting me play. Because just like back then, I know everything'll be okay, as long as I make people happy with my playing.

But just as I came to that resolution, my eyes fell upon one particular individual. And what I was witnessing was definitely a first for me. Sleeping Beauty was in the front row and tears trickled down her face as she stared brazenly at me.