The Shadows Of Love

All my life, I have faced nothing but pain and anguish. I have escaped death so many times, and I have seen the true meaning of suffering and poverty. I lost my parents when I was only a baby and I don't even know what had happened to them, the staff in the orphanage where I grew up refused to tell me anything. In fact, they hated me and treated me like trash.

I was so little and I felt Insecure about everything. All I wanted was a warm arm to lay my troubled head on. I wanted to love, and I wanted to be loved. I see other kids here everyday getting adopted, but no one wanted to adopt me because I was very skinny and malnourished.

I had rashes and my hair was scrawny and messy. In my little corner, I watched the other kids get adopted and I gave up hope. My life has no direction anyway…maybe I will eventually die one day.

A young woman in her late thirties approached me in my corner, staring down at me with such intense eyes. At first I thought she wanted to dispose of me because of the vicious look in her eyes, but her sharp stare melted into a warm smile and she asked the staff about me, and this was what one of them said:

'Oh, her? She's just a pathetic little bug, that's what she is. She's been so ill for quite a long time and we're just waiting for her to die so we can get rid of her.' she cackled like an old pig.

The woman turned to look at me again. I was shivering from the illness and fear. My fever had persisted for days, but the staff didn't care. They hated me and wanted me to die.

'I'll adopt her.' I heard the woman's voice echo softly. What was that? She was going to take me in despite how awful and unkept I looked? I was drowning in both excitement and fear that I overworked my brain and passed out.

I woke up lying on a hospital bed, with a drip fixed on my right wrist. I didn't smell like sweat or dirt anymore, I smelled heavenly, like an expensive bathing soap of some sort. The woman who had decided to adopt me sat beside me, busy on her phone. She looked up and smiled at me, it was the warmest and sweetest smile ever.

'Are you alright?' she asked softly with a smile and I nodded slowly.

'Good. You must be hungry. Have this.' She gave me a food flask and when I opened it, I saw heaven. I saw the kind of food only creatures who lived in heaven probably ate. I had never seen such an enticing and mouth-watering meal in my entire life! Without wasting a second, I dug in and ate until my stomach began to hurt, but I was happy. I was happy that I was finally going to get a new life. This woman who adopted me would probably be my guardian for the rest of my life, and she seemed nice. I thought that my life would change for the best, I thought I would finally find real happiness, but I had thought too soon.

Her name was Mariah. She divorced her husband years ago and decided to live alone for unknown reasons. She owned a boutique in town and made good profits from it. However, she was lonely and wanted company, and I was just what she needed. She was nice to me at first and bought me awesome things; clothes, shoes, toys, all that a little girl could ever desire. I was happy and fulfilled and I thought that she was the angel of my life that I have been praying for.

As I grew older, Mariah began to change. She wasn't so loving and caring anymore. In fact, she started looking at me with irritation and disgust. She was repulsed by my presence alone and started to maltreat me. I thought I was doing something wrong, and I decided to do anything I could to please her. I did all the chores without letting her do anything. I cooked all the meals and even did her laundry, but she was still unsatisfied and hated me. She never let me watch the TV and disposed of all my toys. She didn't even let me sit on the couch anymore; I had to sit on stools or even the floor. She reduced my food rations and took away all my lovely dresses. Sometimes, she even hit me mercilessly for little or no reasons at all. Who was this woman?! This certainly isn't my aunt Mariah anymore.

What have I done to deserve this sudden hate from her?!

I knew that my end had come when she decided to withdraw me from school.

'I can't keep paying for your education! If you really wanna go to school, you'll have to work for it!' she yelled at me one Tuesday afternoon when I returned from school. I was in junior high at that time.

I agreed to work for her and I got paid, but very little. With the money I earned, I paid my own tuition and I even got scholarships because I was one of the smartest kids in my school.

I struggled like that for years, until I became a young adult. Mariah's hate only increased even more, and I worked so hard to please her or else she would throw me out of the house. I prayed earnestly for a miracle, I wanted a miracle that would change my life for good. I had gone this far, and I couldn't turn back.

'Please send another angel, dear God. Like you sent Mariah when she used to be good. Please help me…'

I didn't know what the future held for me. My life seemed to be on a stand still, yet I waited. I held on to my faith for a better future. I worked hard day and night to earn little money and assist myself.

My name is Caitlin Rowel, and this is my story; The story of how I was abused by a man who is supposedly the angel of my life, and the story of my children.

Author Notes~

Welcome to The Shadows Of Love! (SHOL)

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