Epilogue: A Stained Happiness

Evelyn:

Five year laters

My twins Deathworth and Goldos' white fluff of hair bounced around, their older brother calling over a shy ruby. Flynn's cheeks flushed a bright red, my real smile never leaving my lips. A large onyx dog padded up to me, his pinstripes on the fur telling that he was my father. Sitting down next to me, his tail began to wag. Mixed emotions poured from my eyes, a red still stained my hands. Did I deserve all of this? I don't know but I might as well enjoy it. Tracing my layered scars, the sheer amount couldn't match my mental ones. Shaking off the depression, he panting stole my attention.

"I can't help but to think that you are happier in this form." I joked tenderly, patting the top of his head. "Do I deserve any of this? I fought a war where too many lives were lost. Nuit had to start from scratch when every demon but the ones in the village turned to a pile of ash. Did I even do the right thing? Am I a horrible person?" Deathworth's ruby eyes met mine, his black lips curling into a simple smile, he nudged Goldos. His golden eyes twinkled in my direction, their hands waving up at me. Flynn ran his hand through his hair, his arm curling around the waist of Ruby's frilly violet dress. The freedom in their eyes did little to ease my daily guilt, my father's words stealing me from my mental downward spiral.

"I think I do. I get to live with you and spend all of my days with my family." He admitted sheepishly, licking my hand. "Look at how happy the kids are. Thank you for everything. Those demons were a necessary cost. He has better demons now and a more peaceful health. Grappy is happily married, and those kids can run without a care in the world. There is peace all around you. No one but you could have won the war. I have to admit something. Nuit made it so you could still hold everyone. He made it so the council didn't take that away. Don't tell him I told you." Too stunned to speak, my eyes focused on Theros chasing after a vivacious Alucard with his umbrella in his hand. The other adults talked in the shade, chatting with bright smiles. Hudsy embraced me from behind, his crooked grin melting my heart. Holding my slight bump, a wide grin lit up his face. Realizing my surprise, half of my anxiety melted away. Daryll came into view with Pearl by his side, the two of them holding books, his being a programming text book after all. Hudsy deep voice woke me up, his loving gaze meeting my nervous one.

"Evie, you sexy little minx. We are having another one." He exclaimed proudly, Aly crying out behind me. Hugging me from my side, a twelve year old Aly never looked more at home. Stepping back, she adjusted her yellow plaid dress, her hands cupping mine. Flashing her real smile, she was a couple of years from graduating from high school. Pride glistened in my eyes, several Marine biologists still lining her bedroom wall. Her hugs were like a cozy evening in autumn, the sound of leaves crunching underneath your boots reminiscent of her. So much of Devin's personality showed in her actions, a fresh set of tears welling up in my eyes. Wiping away my tears, her kindness matched mine. Laughing softly, her hair bounced up and down slightly with each laugh.

"Everyone is waiting for you." She said simply, taking me downstairs. My father padded after me, the Horsemen waiting for me in their usual robes. Hugging me warmly, they gave me their reports. Setting them down on the nearby table, I guided them outside. Mingling with the other gem holders, their leather gloves glistened in the afternoon sunshine. Theros smashed into me, his chest puffing up and down. Letting me go, he leaned on my shoulders. Grappy cleared his throat, the rivalry still rather strong. Draping my arms over them both, the minor squabble fizzled away. Both of them would always be my brothers, no matter what. Happy to have them in my life, it was like my family was surrounding me. Hell, they all had their own place again, taking up residency in the empty A-frames. Bloodsworths waved at me from the darkest shadow, Grappy winking in his direction. Shaking off a bit more of my anxiety, the love for them was evident. A rush of hot air woke me up, Nuit showing up in a rich velvet suit. Shoving them both off of me, he spun me around. A tender blush rose to my cheeks, his crooked grin oozing pure joy. My third brother had shown up, jealousy burned in their eyes. Struggling to find the words, he looked absolutely adorable right now.

"My dear friend, I have some news for you. I have fantastic news for you." He gushed jovially, pulling up a demon a couple of inches shorter than me. "This is Rayana, my wife." Playing with her golden waves, her ruby eyes met mine. A nervous grin twitched on her inky black lips, her emerald gown matching his suit. Adjusting the crown on her head, she bowed in my direction. Too anxious to speak, she hid behind him. Offering her my hand, her fingers curled around it cautiously. Shaking her hand once, her body tensed up more.

"I am Evelyn, the queen of the reapers. You are welcome here anytime." I introduced myself calmly, attempting not to upset her. "Relax and have some fun." Flynn waved me over, his eyes shining ever brighter. Running out to him, my twins tugged at my white summer dress. Whispering a request in my ears, my fellow gem holders found their way to the yard as my pack of wolves hopped over the fence. Resting in their dog houses, everything felt so right but not deserved. Pressing my palms together, a spell came to mind. Mouthing a silent spell, his eyes watched me open my palms. Blowing out the small bit of snow in my palms, icy petals floated into the sky. The children caught a couple of petals, the adults were even impressed. Gazing up into the sky, my prayer needed to be heard. Excusing myself, I leapt over the wall. Hiking up the mountain, I stopped in front of Devin's gravestone. Getting down on my knees, I pressed my forehead to the dirt.

"I am so sorry for failing you." I apologized brokenly, touching Raven's mother's grave. "I am sorry I failed you. I am sorry for the lives lost that day. Raven is an excellent mother, and Aly is going to college in a couple of years. She is going to be the brightest marine biologist there ever will be. I miss you guys. My hands are stained with your blood." A dainty hand stole me from my spot, Moonie embracing me from behind. Her hair tickled my neck, her lips brushing against the top of my head. Taking me onto her lap, her glowing embrace felt the warmest.

"You grew more than I thought you could, my dear child." She comforted me in a motherly tone, her hands cupping my scarred hands. "See these scars. They tell a tale of a hero who sacrificed it all. I want you to walk back home knowing that you did everything right. People won't ever understand the pain you went through to get here. The price on the hero is the hardest. Every action steals your smile and innocent view of the world. They don't get to wake from the nightmare but merely survive it. You will have bad days where you feel the deepest regret. You will feel the weight of the world on you. One truth is that you will never feel okay. There is no way. The difference here is what you do with your reward." Shaking my head, I ripped my hands from hers.

"No!" I sobbed violently, letting the emotions take over. "I fought and I destroyed lives. A trail of blood follows me. These people are dead because of me. I couldn't save them. Everyone else is so fucking happy but for some reason I can't seem to shaking off this fucking depression." Spinning me around, she clutched my head to her chest. Soaking her robes with my emotions, she refused to let me go. Burying my head into her chest, her trembling hands rubbed my back.

"Stop it!" She shouted desperately, lifting up my chin with my finger. "You are beating yourself up for no reason. They are dead because of fate. You should know that. Death is unavoidable. Fate dealt had dealt their cards. You send reapers out everyday to bring people to their final place. You will find your smile. It takes time to heal. Give it a few years for them to become pleasant memories to hold in your palm." Smiling weakly, it fell in a second.

"I don't see how. I feel hopeless. I feel like something bad can happen any minute." I whispered darkly, clutching her robe. "How do you kn-" Kissing my forehead, her hands cupped my face. Wiping away my tears with her thumbs, her serenity made it hard to be scared. My eyes feel on her shimmering moon necklace on a silver ribbon, her hand sliding down to my slight bump. The other hand lifted the necklace over her head and dropped it over mine.

"I have to go but this is a way to call me whenever you need me. I love you, Evie." She promised sweetly, taking my shaking palm. "I have something to tell you. I am your mother. Your father met me one night and I got pregnant. I don't want you to be mad at me but I had a job to do." Surprise rounded her eyes at my warm embrace, her own emotions soaked my shoulders.

"I don't care. I am happy to know that you are my mother. I am to have another parent. I don't care that you had something to do. Do this one thing with me. Come back and meet your grandchildren. Come back and see what I have done." I pleaded with my palms pressed together, guilt dimming her eyes. "I need you in my life. Those assholes who raised me, they don't matter. You fucking do." Popping to my feet, I wiped my tears away. Offering her my hand, her fingers wrapped around it cautiously. Taking her back to the house, all eyes fell on us.

"This is Moonie, my real mother. She helped everything play out. Welcome with open arms." I wept softly, my children running up to my side. "This is your grandmother. She is a wonderful lady who can't wait to spend time with you." My old man padded up to her, his paw raised up. Pressing her palm against his, she shifted into a silver wolf. Rubbing their snouts, a sad smile curled on my lips. Crouching down their level, the children rubbed the tops of their heads.

"I think I will stay here and perform my duties from here." She announced excitedly, scooping up the boys. "Will you have me, Evie?" Nodding my head, her paw pat the top of my head. Running into the yard, Hudsy pulled me into loving embrace. Hope glimmered in my eyes, luck appearing to be on my side. Sinking into the moment I prayed that this moment could never end. Smiling genuinely for the first time in a long time, everything felt like it was going to be okay.