第16章: In Control
she held the orb, swallowed hard, bit her lips, a trickle of sweat traced her forehead down to her chin, eyes squeezed shut. She began to slowly open one eye to peek on what's in her hands. "It takes on different colors depending on the amount of spiritual energy it absorbs" Aizen explained. "It shows blue meaning your spilling out your reiatsu and it's all over the place, concentrate and stop the excess flow" he added.
"Here goes nothing" Erza said while firmy closing her fingers around the orb. She tried to focus but nothing happened "uhmm, sensei how do I stop the excess flow?" she asked shyly, glancing away and excessively blinking. "Such a child" Aizen commented while patting her head lightly "You need to focus and force your reiatsu to stop. Like turning a valve that slows down the flow of the water. Try to picture it in your mind" he explained gently touching her hands.
She quietly followed every word. At first it was really difficult. It's like holding your breath while running but she did not give up and forced herself to change its glow to white. "Very good" Aizen said with an approving nod. "If its white it means that its only getting a minimum. Just like how your heart is involuntary pumping out blood through your body, something that you do not think of nor forcing. That is the state your reiatsu should be to conserve energy and as you suppress it, you become more powerful" Aizen stated.
"This is so hard" Erza sighed in frustration. Her eyes moisten, eyes crinkled and exhaling noisily through pursed lips. Loosing control unconsciously, her reiatsu began spilling again uncontrollably making the orb glow in dark red "That color means your giving it reiatsu at it's limit" Aizen warned her, out of panic, she tried to regain control and it glowed blue. "Your overflowing your reiatsu again, don't give it something it can't handle. Be careful not to break it, it can only absorb as much" he added. Erza almost dropped the orb in panic "Once you manage to keep it white for five minutes, let me know" he instructed before going back to his seat and sips his tea.
Erza is trying so hard to keep it white and struggles. He watch her intently, "She is like the sun. She has people orbiting around her; some are too close and might burn, some are so far that they will become cold. The lucky ones are in a perfect distance just enough to feel her warmth. In one way or another, all the people that met her felt attracted to her. She is the brightest person you'll ever meet" he thinks to himself as he sinks in the feeling while staring at her.
Erza's face started twitching as she runs out of patience "five minutes?" she groaned "holding it for a few seconds is like in the middle of the ocean when you do not know how to swim and running out of breath sinking underwater"
"you were able to do it for a few seconds, that's a good start. It may seem impossible now but with practice it will become your second nature" he said with a gentle smile his face resting on his knuckles.
Erza is really having a difficult time changing its color. she wrapped her hand tightly on the orb and whenever it looks like exploding she would let it go and grab it again to try and make it glow white. The process went on repeating a few times.
Erza decides to Sit in a comfortable place, free of distractions and noise. She Sits with her legs crossed, spine straight, and body relaxed. She focused on her breathing, deeply inhaling and exhaling, and clearing her mind of intruding thoughts. Aizen just watch her and observes her every move to correct her or maybe to just enjoy her beauty.
She pictures her reiryoku and reiatsu, at the base of the spine. She continues to focus on her breath and keep her attention on the energy in this the orb. She allowed herself to feel anchored, rooted to the Earth. Visualize on how she wants her reiatsu to flow. As her eyes shut and begin to meditate, she can now feel her spiritual power pulsing from her fingertips. With her tired trembling fingers she clutched on the orb. It feels like fire is rushing through her veins. She moaned as her vision shifts and the world erupts with colors. At first, it hurts, but then suddenly filled with confidence and power. Her eyes are glowing red. The light burns brighter and she tried to suppress it and the color stayed white for more than five minutes.
"you've come a long way" Aizen said smiling lightly. "Didn't I tell you, you would make it? now try it longer make it ten minutes" She glared at him "Are you trying to be cheeky Erza?" He said in a menacing look. "No sensei" she answered and did everything repeating the whole process.
"Arrgghh, no more... I can't do it anymore" she sighed placing the orb gently on top of the table, rested her back on the chair, tilted head up, arms crossed over her chest and with a pout she said "Sorry sensei, I need a breather, I didn't know that controlling your reiatsu is this hard" then she closed her eye and stood up to stretch.
Aizen went towards her. She felt his presence in front of her. She opened her eyes, her gaze slid to the side. He pulled her against his chest. His nose tickled her ear. She let out a tiny gasp and squirmed uncomfortably. In general, Erza do not like being intimately handled but for some odd reason, she allows this man to get this close to her. She felt his lips softly graze her slender neck. Her face heated. She summoned enough courage to meet his gaze. His eyes twinkled. "He knows, that's why he's trying to make me feel like this, helpless and weak" Erza screamed inside her head eyes widened in comic circles.
He scooped her and placed her gently on top of the table and positioned himself in between her legs, placing his hands on the table each on her sides, caging her securely and leaned to her face and planted a heated kiss, She was trying so hard to keep her lips shut for his insistent tongue not to go in but he bit her lower lip that caused her to gasp and went in exploring all the insides of her mouth with dominance it didn't took long enough for her to reciprocate and ran her fingers through his hair grabbing him closer to her wrapping her legs around his waist and his hands come up to her neck and hair. Their lips fitted perfectly-- as if they were meant for each other. Moving against each other, feeling each other. Aizen grabbed the back of Erza's neck, growling in the kiss as she whimpered in pleasure. It made her melt and want more, she knew that if this continues she wouldn't be able to hold back. He stopped kissing her lips in a slow process he moved kissing her jawline down to her neck and biting her collarbone that made her whine and he smiled at hearing her.
"Erza" he whispered. She can hear and feel his desperation and willpower it's taking him not to loose control. He leaned closer that she can feel and smell his breath and his fiery eyes looked into hers and whispered "This time I'm in control; so you be a good girl and don't move your hands. I'm gonna drive you crazy, then stop, then do it all over again until you beg me to finish this. Even then, I won't. I'm just gonna do every naughty thing to you until your mind and body explode." before forming an evil smirk. His hands went to lift her top clothing. Aizen's finger tips are electric, they must be, for wherever they touch her skin tingles in a frenzy of static. As his hands move over her skin, her body has a transitory paralysis, her mind unable to process the pleasure so fast. His head moves around to her left ear and he whispers "You're beautiful and I love every inch of you" Suddenly her body is off pause-mode and she pull back for a kiss that's both soft and hard.
Then it hits her "I can't do this, this is not suppose to happen" as she gathered all her strength placed her hands against his chest and pushed him away and released her legs that wrapped around him. Heavy uneven breaths as they panted and looked at each other, Erza took a deep breath before saying "Sorry... I- I can't do this" Aizen looked at her with shock, as soon as he thought that everything is going as planned she unexpectedly stopped. He tried to lean back to kiss her once more and proceed further but he was stopped by Erza's hands. "No, please don't" she said in a serious tone without looking at her "What's wrong?" he asked "I'm... I'm just not ready for it" she said and turned running as quickly as her long legs can carry her. She wheezes as her burning lungs gasp for air. Her legs feel numb and unsteady, painfully sore. Her throat feels dry, so uncomfortably dry. She looks at the night sky as she tries to breathe. Stars filled the sky like pale corn into freshly turned ground. It was the promise of life in the darkness, a sense of warmth springing from the cold.
Aizen is running towards her, she know it's him by his silhouette and by the way he makes no sound at all. "Erza" he said full of concern and worry in his voice "I'm sorry" he said. "No, it's me who should apologize." she said looking away "It's just that coming to you is a bad idea, to be taught by you, will break me. For to come to you is forbidden, yet to stay away is pain. It's so confusing" she said running her hand through her hair. Aizen kept silent signaling her to go on "I feel lost and confused, but happy and certain. I am like a ball of tangled yarn. The parts that are untangled are available, usable; the rest is a mess, useless until it is untied. That mess feels endless and at most times unyielding. I need time" she said.
He walked up to her slowly and pulled her closer to him wrapping his arms around her, gently rubbing her back. Despite the heaviness in her stomach, it fluttered at the feeling of her body pressed against his. She sunk into the warmth of his side, appreciative of the simple gesture. His embrace was warm, and his big, strong arms seemed very protective when wrapped around her frail body. The world around her melted away as she squeezed him back, not wanting the moment to end.
"It's okay, I can wait." Aizen whispered in her ear as her face buried in his chest "I like the way you smell" she complimented. "I swear when that time comes you wouldn't be able to walk for days" he teased, kissed her forehead and hugged her tightly. "we'll talk about your training tomorrow" he instructed "For now, let's just stay like this"she said.