Chapter 35: Hurting.

Wednesday.

Day 22.

George. 

What the hell was that?

I had agreed to go to Issa's party after Lectra asked me to be there. I agreed purely out of kindness towards Lectra and Issa to go, but I honestly didn't want to be anywhere near Cam for awhile. A long ass while.

After Issa had ditched me in the hottub I had been on edge since. And then to add to that, I still didn't know what her relationship exactly was with Cam, making me jealous any time they even looked at eachother. But that was no excuse to treat them both the way I did.

And now I got to watch as Issa and Cam left together after my big mouth spilled Cams secret. Well, almost. Obviously he should have told her anyway, and he was planning on it, but now I forced it on him. And there was no way he would forgive me after that. I couldn't even forgive me.

"Um, are you-uh, okay George?" I was still standing in the pool thinking about my many many mistakes, getting gross and wrinkley the longer I stayed there. I had totally forgetten Lectra was still in the room until she finally said something, snapping me out of my pity party.

I glance over at her, now looking at me very uncomfortably.

"Oh. Uh, no, not really." I watch her blow out an awkward breath of air, then she was walking over to the table with cake and ice cream all over it. She immediately starts cleaning up the mess.

"Here, I'll help." Before she can get very far, I was stepping out of the pool and making my way over to her knowing she was simply cleaning out of awkwardness.

"You really don't have to. It's my mess afterall." I just shrug at her and begin picking up used plates and forks while saying;

"Well I kinda need to take my mind off of whatever just happened anyway. So too bad." Lectra smiles up at me then finally gives in and begins helping me again as I reach for some more loose napkins. I barely make it to the garbage to throw away my trash when she suddenly blurts;

"So can I ask exactly what all of that was about? I'm sure Issa will tell me anyway but I really don't think I can wait till later to hear it." I sigh irritably but she doesn't seem to notice my hesitation. I could see why Issa liked Lectra so much, most of the time, but right now I just wanted silence. Clearly that wouldn't be happening.

"Alright. Where do I begin?" It wasn't a question directed at Lectra, but that didn't stop her from answering.

"How about why you and Cam are at eachothers throats?" I nod and begin, even though I honestly had no idea why I was entertaining her obvious intrigue of the drama.

"Well, as you most definitely already know, she slept with Cam." Lectra is packing up the last of the cake into a foldable box while humming small 'mhms' at me while I continue;

"And while that's clearly a huge issue, we all somehow got over it-"

"Not completely, obviously." Lectra tosses a sarcastic look my way then when I only give her one that says 'no really?' back, she simply motions for me to continue.

"But now I can't help but wonder if she doesn't like me as much as Cam. Or even not at all anymore."

"So?" I turn around to find Lectra who was now just standing against the side of the house simply watching me clean up everything on my own now.

"What do you mean 'so'? So, I got jealous and blew up today. End of story." I return to cleaning after I receive another motion to keep going and can't help but feel used but continue anyway.

"From what I heard, you gave her plenty of reason to sleep with him." I'm once again drawn away from cleaning in an instant. This time I glare at Lectra sternly, and watch as her face doesn't falter whatsoever from the bold expression living there.

Standing her ground she confidently states;

"I'm just saying, you cheated then told her to do it, while she was drunk by the way. You have no reason to be jealous. Or mad. At either one of them." She made perfect sense, and of course I'd told myself exactly that hundreds of times already. But hearing someone else say it felt different. It hurt because it was the truth.

"Well, I am jealous. Even if I shouldn't be. I care about her." Lectra scoffs then begins cleaning again after I had stopped.

"I think you mean them." I hated just how right she was. Angrily, I pick up a stray piece of plastic blowing along the ground as I thought about what Lectra was saying to me.

"Okay, yes, both of them. But I can't have Cam. Here at least." I hesitate at first but ultimately let the words come out. It was weird that she and Issa both knew about the school and I could finally talk to someone about it. It would take some getting used to.

"So you're jealous of them both having eachother and not you too. What does being jealous solve?" Lectra was getting close to half sounding like a nosy therapist, but her point was coming across either way.

"It doesn't. Whatever you're trying to say, just say it already, okay?" Lectra rolls her eyes and I finally notice all of the mess was picked up completely now.

"Fine. I'm saying, maybe just-let it be. Let them have eachother, and be happy." I had the exact thought not long ago, but could never admit it fully until then talking to Lectra. It was like what she said set off a switch in my head and instantaneously I felt just like air, like I was floating there. But mostly I felt pain, because I knew what Lectra was saying was probably right.

"You can always still be friends. I just think you guys keep missing eachother, and in your place is always going to be Cam." I don't say anything, I can't even form a comprehensive thought. All I can manage is to stare blankly at the pool in front of me we were all just fighting in, only proving Lectras point more of us hurting one another.

And now I was about to hurt her again with what she was about to find out from Cam.

"G-George? Are you crying? Oh, shit. Sorry-um-" I'm still staring into space when I feel Lectra wrap her arms around me and sit me into a nearby chair, which I was thankful for because I was surely about to pass out.

"Are you ok-never mind. Dumb question." I surprise myself and Lectra when I let out a small giggle at her uncomfortable atmosphere surrounding her as I let myself give in to the tears.

"Hey, or maybe I'm absolutely stupid and have no idea what I'm talking about?" I shake my head at her in defense of herself then quickly add;

"No, you're spot on actually." I have to hold in another laugh when Lectra proudly tosses her hair around her shoulder with great success as she says overly sarcastically;

"And I never even took a single class, can you believe that?"

"Heh, yeah thanks Doctor Lectra." I regretted it as soon as I spoke, and instantly even more when Lectra scrunched up her nose at my cringy comment.

"Doctor Lectra? You do know last names exist right?" Shaking my head no at Lectra jokingly, I suddenly realize I have no idea what her real full name was at all. All I knew those years at the school was just Lectra or even Electra.

"What is your full name anyway?"

"Leah Mae McCloud. Nothing very interesting or pretty like Issa's but-oops sorry I shouldn't say the I word." Surprisingly, the mention of Issa didn't upset me as much as it should have, although it still did sting. I remember the first time Issa told me her full name when we were still together. Issabelle Rose Woods. It was so simple yet it fit so beautifully perfect together, like everything about her.

"Well yours has nothing on mine. George Mason-Taylor Jackson. It's a mouthful and sounds like a 40 year old man's name, I know." Lectra doesn't even try to hide the fact that she is chuckling over my humiliating name but ultimately gets it semi under control, then was saying not so calmly;

"Where are you from to get that kind of name anyway?" As much as I wanted to get out of here and do my own thing, I was intrigued by Lectra and her 'I don't care what anyone thinks of me' attitude. It was refreshing.

"I grew up here. Why?"

"It's just-your accent. It's kinda weird. I've never heard anything like it before. It's obviously not just American either." I had never had anyone point out my accent the way she was, calling it strange. I had always gotten compliments, but even I knew it had to have sounded a little funny to some people, but no body had ever really asked me about it. Other than Issa and Cam.

"That's probably because my parents were born and raised in Wales. Y'know, in the UK? But they moved here shortly after I was born and I was home schooled my whole life. So that's probably why it's weird." Lectra shrugs her lips at me understanding like, while nodding until finally she offered sheepishly;

"Well, George Mason-Taylor Jackson, how does a big ass cup of coffee sound? We can ditch here and get your mind off of everything for awhile. You need it." It was exactly what I was thinking. As weird as it felt to be hanging out alone with Lectra without Issa there too, it sounded surpringly relaxing.

"How about two big ass cups of coffee?"

"Deal."

•••

"So is this the famous George I've heard so much about?"

Lectra had taken me to a small coffee shop to fill up on coffee and muffins, and along the way we ran into Wes leaving work. I've been back from the school long enough to be used to most things already, but seeing people who I only knew from the school for real was always weird, and seeing Wes again blew my mind more than it probably should have.

"Man, I will never get used to meeting people twice. Ever." Wes was quick to shoot back;

"And I won't get used to strange people traveling through different dimensions in their sleep." I had to admit, it was hard to beat that.

"Don't you have somewhere to be Wes? I kinda came here to talk with George, not you. No offense." Wes narrows his eyes at Lectra but then immediately sheds a smile.

"Hard not to take offense to that, but sure. I'm supposed to be meeting a friend here, actually. So until then, you're stuck with me." Lectra let's out a sigh then turns back to me. She quickly takes a bite out of her millionth muffin then hesitated before speaking;

"You know, you never actually explained why Cam was five seconds from breaking down earlier."

"Hey, I thought we went here to escape everything, not talk more about it again."

"You thought wrong. Have you met me?" I already felt a headache coming on and we haven't even started talking about it again. Great.

"I'll tell you, then that's it." Lectra doesn't say anything, she simply gives me a thumbs up then waits for me to explain. I take in a breath and ready myself.

"The night that Cam and Issa got together. They were both drunk obviously. But Cam got cocky knowing he had her that night and I didn't." Looking as confused as ever, Lectra squints at me, as if it would help her connect the dots any better.

"And well, Cam was texting me during-while they-" Feeling ill again talking about everything, I have to take in another shakey breath. Luckily I don't have to say anymore for Lectra to pull it all together. Mostly at least.

"What? That's all? He just texted you that they were screwing? That's lame. I was expecting something juicy like he sent a video or something." Wes picks up on my body language way before Lectra does and is quick to point out;

"Oh shit. That's exactly what happened." I simply shake my head at him.

"No, it was just a picture. I mean, not just, just a picture-You know what I mean. He sent it to me." That was when Lectra finally got it and was stuck simply blinking away at me in disbelief.

"George. You're joking right?"

"No?" She finally puts down her giant muffin which told me she was about to get real serious again.

"You had me believing that Cam was a damn saint and should be with Issa, George!" I don't hesitate with what I say next;

"I still believe that. Obviously what he did was wrong, way wrong, but he is still a good guy. I don't know. He cares about her as much as I do." I knew from experience that Cam wasn't one to do well under pressure. The school was a huge example of that. He wasn't actually a bad guy, he just didn't think well when a problem occurs. And me texting him that night was a huge problem he couldn't handle.

"I think you forget that I also did some pretty shit things to her too. Not just Cam. And she still took me back somehow." Beside Lectra, Wes was simply texting away on his phone, clearly no longer a part of this conversation anymore. 

"I mean, sure. This feels so much worse though." All I do is shrug at her. I didn't know what else to say, I wasn't even sure why I was defending Cam at all. There was no way Issa would forgive him. I knew any minute Lectra would probably be getting a call from her to head back to comfort her very soon.

Then neither of us would have Issa anymore and she would just be hurt again as usual.

"So I'm assuming he's talking to her about it already?" Lost in everything surrounding my thoughts, I almost forgot I was in public with Lectra at all. I nod to her.

"Yeah, he should have told her by now." Lectra stays watching me not saying anything but clearly thinking hard at what I just said.

"That's weird."

"What is?" In one swift movement, Lectra takes her phone from the table in front of her and turns it on and starts scrolling instantly.

"Shouldn't she be texting me by now already or something? You know, if he told her what he did?"

"That's what I was thinking. Why do you ask?" Lectra pulls a funny face thinking on it longer then finally adds;

"What if she did forgive him and that's why she isn't calling me?" I didn't want to believe it, because as much as she deserved to be happy with him, part of me still wanted a chance to be the one to make her happy instead. But Lectra was right, it was weird to not hear from Issa yet.

"That's just stupid. She isn't going to forgive him just like that. If anything, she's probably just burying his body right now. You know, after killing him." Me and Lectra both are shocked to hear Wes was still in fact listening to the drama as he spoke up suddenly. And once again, Wes probably wasn't wrong with that theory either. Although knowing he was joking, I subtly begin to worry for Cam's safely even though I knew I didn't need to.

"Man, that's too bad. I actually really liked Cam too. Rest in piece you ass-hat." I find Lectra again and we share a half joking smile when Wes suddenly perks up from the table.

"Finally!" He's looking down at his phone for another couple of seconds before ultimately standing up from the table and looking around outside the giant windows of the shop. I take a look with him but don't see anyone he could be looking for.

"Who are you meeting up with anyway Wes? Since when do you have friends?" Wes pretty much ignores Lectra with an eye roll then turns and says sharply;

"Ha ha. Funny. We just met the other day at a party. Want to meet him?" I nod along with Lectra.

"Yeah sure, why not?"

"Well he should be here any-" Wes stops talking ubruptly only to rush forward out the Café doors soon after. Lectra and I follow him without hesitation. The second I was outside and finally seeing who this new friend was, I almost couldn't handle the coincidence.

"Hey dude! Meet my other friends George and-" The familiar face steps forward towards Lectra the second he sees her, totally oblivious of my existence.

"Leah-?" Lectra is instantly speechless looking right back at him, clearly unsure of who he was at all, unlike me. Between us, Wes was blinking away totally baffled by the scene. Next the man was looking my way at last, finally seeing me now too.

"-George?" I gawk right back at him, in too much disbelief I couldn't even manage to say anything back as he stood there in front of us, evidently knowing exactly who me and Lectra were.

Even if I couldn't force even a single word out from shock to let him know, I sure as hell knew who he was too but his name wouldn't leave my lips like I wanted it to.

It was Blake, and he remembered us.