Chapter Four

For months, Tizrah had prayed. Out in the endless silence of the barren desert she had prayed fervently. She couldn't even count on her fingers the amount of times she'd pleaded with the creator for answers. For a sign. For something... anything that would confirm her suspicions that the council had been hiding things... that there was more to life than her mundane existence in this little city in the middle of the barren desert.

Finally she'd received it, one of the answers she'd been chasing after all these years. And now that she had it, she wished she could take it all back.

"No thanks to you," Tizrah whispered to the Creator... or to whoever it was that listened to her prayers, if there was anyone. "I have even more questions than answers now. And anxiety."

Tizrah continued to curse under her breath as she made her way along the dusty streets of Valhil, empty clay jug pressed firmly against her hip. She ignored the sweltering sun rising into the yellow morning sky, growing hotter as it beat down upon the surface of her tawny skin. She couldn't feel the harsh rays that burned across her shoulders, neck, and the exposed part of her back. She couldn't feel much of anything for that matter. No thanks to the brooding thoughts building up in her head to the bursting point, it was all she could do to just focus on not dropping the large clay pot her mother had given her to collect the water for the cleansing brew, much less the direction of her own two feet.

Mindlessly, she shuffled passed the rows and rows of brown, square stucco houses lining the streets, each structure nearly identical to the last, resembling rows of stained, sun-dried teeth. Like a lifeless zombie, Tizrah dragged her feet along the dirt path before her, seeing right past all the vendors and passers-by going about their day. Like a shell of a person, Tizrah nearly resembled a soul-less herself. Until suddenly, out of nowhere, her muddled thoughts were split in two by an uproarious noise erupting from behind her.

"Boo!" the voice shouted at her back, and Tizrah nearly jumped out of her skin.

Spinning around to face whatever danger was threatening her in that moment, Tizrah's wild gaze was instantly met with a pair of dark, sparkling eyes belonging to none other than her best friend, and the only person in the world right now who she wanted to strangle within an inch of his life.

"Gulz?! Do you have a death wish!?" She barked between throbbing heartbeats.

"Whoa, wait. Did I ACTUALLY scare you this time!?" Gulz was taken aback, looking suddenly just as astonished as Tizrah was feeling exasperated.

She responded with a scowl. "Don't."

"I really did scare you, didn't I? Wow, you NEVER startle that easily. Somehow, I feel accomplished."

"I said don't," Tizrah snapped, perhaps too harshly. She was not feeling the least bit playful today.

"Hey, now. Take it easy. I just saw you walking through town and came to say hello. Wasn't trying to get under your skin or anything. Just thought you'd be happy to see me. You know, ME. Gulz. Your best friend. Remember me?"

"Ah, sorry, Gulz," Tizrah sighed, pressing two fingers against her temple as irritation melted into plain exhaustion. "I didn't mean to bite your head off. You just surprised me, that's all. I guess I just didn't hear you sneak up on me because I've got a so much on my mind. A lot to prepare for. Look, we'll hang out some other time, alright? But for now, if you if you don't mind, I have to go fetch some water from the aquifer for the ceremony tonight."

Either not catching on to her hint, or refusing to, instead of parting ways there Gulz turned on his heel to trail along beside Tizrah as she moved past him to continue on her way. Gulz shoved his large hands deep into his trouser pockets, working to match the strides of his long legs to her short ones.

"Oh yeah, THAT ceremony," he said gravely. "Bad business with Matta's son, huh? Just awful news. He was a good kid. I wonder what he was doing wandering around outside the city walls like that? I-I mean, not that I'm judging YOU for doing it, but- he just didn't seem the adventurous type. He was the kind of kid who was afraid of his own shadow you know? Didn't seem like the type to brave the desert wilderness alone... All very mysterious don't you think? Something definitely doesn't seem right there."

Tizrah pressed her lips together into a hard line, regretful of having brought the subject up at all. This was not a topic she was ready to have a conversation about right now. Especially not with Gulz. He already had too much going on to have to deal with the mystery surrounding the incident with Musa. Besides, he was heir to Elder Jiri's seat in the High Council, so he was bound to be briefed on all the details at some point. Anyway, Tizrah was still trying to sort through the muddled mess of it all, herself. So the Musa thing was the last thing on earth she wanted to talk about. She had to deflect.

"Why are you following me?" She dodged.

"Ah, I don't know. Bored, I guess," he shrugged, hands still in his pockets, grin still plastered visibly across his face.

"Liar. I know you better than that. I can feel your emotions, remember? So tell me, how are you REALLY feeling?"

"What are you talking about?" Gulz released a weak chuckle, still forcing his toothy grin in Tizrah's direction. But she was not amused by it in the least.

"Don't do that, Gulz. You know what I'm talking about. You may be able to fool everyone else with that stupid grin of yours, but you can't fool me, and you know it. So stop it already. You're making a fool of yourself."

Gulz finally released a heavy breath of air, and his fake grin fell into a slight, sad smile. "You never really did have a way with words, did you? Still, you always manage to see past my facade when no one else could. I'd like to attribute it to our closeness, but maybe it's just your ability to sense emotions and stuff. I guess we'll never know for sure, huh?"

The last comment stung Tizrah in the heart. But in all honesty, she couldn't really be certain of it herself. Even if she wanted to believe that she knew her friend deeply and truly, he was right. In the end, there was never any way to know for sure whether it was closeness, or just her empathy. It was a realization she'd come to long ago, and one that made her sad sometimes. Just another thing that made her wonder why she could never just be "normal." Why did she have to be the daughter of the High Priestess? Why did she have to have these weird empathic powers that no one else seemed to have? Why couldn't she just be a regular girl without a care in the world? But now was not the time to lament. Now that the two were finally alone again, maybe she could coerce a bit of raw honesty from Gulz's highly guarded heart.

"So what's going on then?" She demanded. "You haven't been yourself lately. It's about your fath- Elder Jiri, isn't it?"

He did not respond to her question right away. Instead, he took to staring at the ground. At the scraping of his sandals against the powder-dry dirt, and silence began to grow between the two of them. For those few, long seconds, Gulz held Tizrah in suspense, wondering if he'd open up to her at all. But then, he finally spoke.

"You're right again, Tiz," he admitted, his voice almost as quiet as a whisper. "Of course you're always right, although I think it would be obvious to anyone that the thing weighing heaviest on my mind right now is my father's health."

"I thought so," Tizrah murmured. "How are you holding up with everything? I mean, aside from the stress of your father's illness, there's so much pressure on you now. So many expectations. How are you doing with all of that?"

She could see him working the muscles in his jaw, and a new expression had taken over his features. One she hadn't exactly seen before. An expression that made her chest ache. His eyes glistened with sorrow as they turned downward again, until his dark lashes obscured them from view.

"Do you always need to be so blunt?" Gulz laughed weakly. "Still, I think I like it when you worry about me. I must be pretty important to you after all."

"I'll take it all back if you don't stop teasing me." Tizrah turned her head quickly so Gulz couldn't see the red blossoming on her cheeks.

"Alright, alright, I'll let up. It's just so fun to get you all flustered. And anyway, you don't have to worry about me, Tiz. I'll admit, this isn't easy. No matter how much I smile and pretend like it is, none of this is easy. It's the farthest thing I think anything can be from easy. But I know I can handle it. I can handle anything as long as I have my best friend by my side. I... I do have my friend by my side... don't I?"

"Of course you do, stupid," Tizrah nudged his arm with her elbow, her cheeks continuing to burn for having to say something so embarrassing. "Do you see me going anywhere?"

As the smile returned to brighten up his face, Tizrah became convinced that he had goaded her into saying it for his own sick pleasure. But she couldn't be too angry, because it was the first genuine smile she'd seen in a long while. And the brief happiness that flickered in his heart seemed to flutter over to hers. And she was happy too. She wished for this happiness to last forever, but somehow she knew that it would be gone in a flash, and then the darkness would come.