Wounds

I was sitting on the edge of the bridge watching the water pass by as it rushed towards the dam, I envied it, the water, it had purpose, it had determination, it had agility whereas I was sitting here with no sense of purpose, no reason for living. I was reduced to a walking zombie, a living dead creature, that's how I felt. At that point in time I was nursing my wounds. I had many stories to tell and many tears to shed yet no one to tell them to and no shoulder to cry on. I was lonely, bereft and dead inside. Panashe had destroyed everything that I hold dear, I had lost everything, all in the name of cruel love. I can't even remember if I loved me, it wasn't hurt because he left me, no it was because he took everything with him, all of it he took with him.

Panashe, I had met him when I was in my first year in University, he was everything I needed in a man. He was the first guy to ever approach me and propose love. He was the first guy to ever tell me that I was beautiful. He was the first guy who kissed me, the first guy I slept with and he became my life. He showed me life in different lences and I loved it. I loved Panashe, My family loved Panashe and everyone close loved him, he was a great person. Tears rolled down my as I remember him but my heart hurts as I remember despite all that he left me either way. I bent over and clutch my stomach to control the pain as heartbreaking sobs breaks free from. If only the river could hear it would consol me. I lost my life and my family went with it. I cried on the bridge for hours on end. I could not sleep in my bed without feeling their presence and smelling their scents. Sometimes I would hear their voices or was it my Imagination I was not sure but I missed them. I missed him. I missed me. My wounds were raw and bleeding.