I slowly opened my eyes as Green, my labrador barked. He was barking at a squirrel just outside and it had become a habit that I hated so much, even though most of the times he woke me. Just to realize I was late for work, I was fired though just the other day. So I just woke up, made my cup of coffee, went and picked my newspaper.
And yes am the old-fashioned kind just a little bit. Made Green his breakfast too, took him for a little stroll, because it had been so long since i did that but I came back only 5 minutes after exhausted, walking is so not my thing. I get back but I don't feel like showering, so I just put some deodorant on, get into my jeans and oversized shirt which i tuck just to look presentable as I go look for another job.
As I walk out I pick an apple, guess who isn't seeing the doctor anytime soon. I give Green a little talk as I go out, I wasn't planning on leaving him with Emmie again after she lost him the day before. Poor dog, probably still traumatized.
I take my bag, put my shoes on, compose myself, The Deep breathe in, deep breathe out technique and leave.
"owww fuck," i whisper. "I forgot my phone, again." I say hitting my forehead.
Well Green is a dog and there was no way he understood me when I said no messing around. So I just pick my phone and place a leash on Him and take him to Emmie.
"Emmie, please don't do it again," I say giving her the leash and walking away more of running even before she could say a word.
"But Dwell you know how he is," she shouts not pleased at all. But all I do is, turn back, give her a thumbs up and say she can manage it, knowing very well she can't and run to the stairs. I can't afford to miss the interview.
"Mrs Dwell Arden right, I've reviewed your CV and I can say am pleased but this hotel isn't hiring a clerk we just need a cleaner."
"I can take it," I say out of desperation. Actually my previous job I wasn't a clerk either and I wasn't paid well too but this one looked more reassuring.
"Okay you can start the day after tomorrow," he says handing me my papers back.
I walk out of the office relieved. Then it happens again.
"Not this again," I whisper to myself. I take my pills from my bag as I walk toward the elevator and place it on my palm. When am in the elevator , am alone and I try to swallow the pils but my throat is too dry for that, but it keeps getting worse.
I can feel that am drooling and my hands just felt like they were swelling up so bad. As soon as I get to the ground floor, I go to the dispenser and take my pills as fast as possible.
Its not medical condition the doctors have found. My body completely normal. But I see things, I hear things, I can feel them too its usually gives me the creeps, I can never get used to it as much as I try. The pills help me relax, but they have caused me more harm than good I can say.
My mom tried all she could to help me cope, took me to mental doctors and all, that but there was something she knew about me and she made sure she hid it so well.
I stop at Christie's and take a burger, I was starving. Just as I was turning I saw her again, I want to take my pill but it would be an overdose. So I just turn to the counter and ask for some lemonade and relax my mind as much as possible.
I went to pick Green from Emmie and all she did was complain as usual. Its not like I don't pay her, but it's what she is good at and am used to it.
I offer to help with the cooking. As she cuts her onions, she deeply wounds herself. I say she was being rude to the onions taking her anger out of them while she was cutting but she says she felt something, more like someone holding the knife with her and before she knew it, her index finger is almost cut off. I dress her, and finish her cooking for her.
All this time, Green was barking even before Emmie started cutting the onion but I gave him his play toy and he was silent for a while before he barks again this time louder. But I give him a treat and he eats up still rumbling. I knew something was wrong very wrong at that point but I just couldn't place a finger on it.