Chapter 138 - Unwanted Guest - 5
The Attic.
For Dang Hwarin, the room with its low ceiling that might feel cramped to some had become a cozier nest than the affluent Seong family home where she had lived without want.
Dang Hwarin stared blankly at the medicine in her hand, then turned to her housemate as a scent drifted by her nose.
"Ugh... The smell of alcohol. I told you to wash up before sleeping."
Dang Hwarin rose from her seat and cracked open a window for a moment. The chilly breeze that slipped through the gap cooled her flushed face.
"Ugh..."
"I'll cover you with the blanket."
As Kang Yoonho let out a groan in response to the sudden gust of cold air, Dang Hwarin approached him where he lay passed out from the alcohol and fatigue.
When Dang Hwarin unfolded the blanket in the corner, the man's scent wafted over her. She disliked the smell of alcohol, but this scent was not unpleasant. At first, it was awkward, but now it was somehow comforting.
"Uh..."
"Oh!"
Startled by her housemate's moan, she quickly pulled her nose away from the blanket. Dang Hwarin hastily covered Kang Yoonho with the blanket and sat back down on her bed, looking at him.
You're not awake, are you? Good. I would have died of embarrassment if you'd caught me.
Seeing no sign of Kang Yoonho stirring, Dang Hwarin picked up the hand mirror beside her.
"I'm even looking at myself in a hand mirror."
Dang Hwarin chuckled to herself in amusement at the situation as she gazed into the mirror.
She normally did not look at mirrors often. To her, looking into a mirror meant having to confront a sorrowful reality.
Living a life wrapped up head to toe, with the lower face hidden behind a black cloth mask – why fuss over a reflection? But now, things were different.
Dang Hwarin looked into the hand mirror because she was beginning to imagine a brighter future.
She thought it a miracle that the pain disappeared just by taking the medicine. However, the effects of the medicine didn't end there.
"I really am getting better."
It amazed her every time she looked. If one didn't pay close attention, the changes might go unnoticed, but there was definite progress.
Her own face, something she did not examine closely. However, there was someone who always paid close attention and worried about her. A man who always wished for her body to heal.
If it had not been for that man pointing it out, she would never have noticed.
Dang Hwarin remembered the situation from a little while ago as she looked at the man who appeared in her life like a miracle.
Kang Yoonho's unexpected physical contact.
He suddenly reached out and touched her face without permission, a part of her that was a complex of hers. Had it been anyone else, she might have broken their wrist. But with Yoonho, it was okay.
Dang Hwarin quietly accepted his touch.
"Hwarin-ah. Really. If people didn't harbor prejudices, they would find your face attractive."
'Is he drunk? Is that why? Does alcohol make things look better?'
As Kang Yoonho murmured to himself, Dang Hwarin's head started spinning. She had heard that men see plain women as peerless beauties when drunk. Could this be one of those times?
"Hwarin-ah. Lift your face for me."
That's right. It's that situation. This really is one of those situations. What should I do? Yoonho, you said we were just friends.
Although she never desired such a relationship, if he truly wanted it, they would have to start with words. This was not right.
'This isn't because I'm willingly letting you; it's because you're doing it forcefully. Understood?'
Since you want it, I'll stay still for now. With a thought of refusal that she would not act upon, she closed her eyes and pushed her chin forward to make it easier for Kang Yoonho.
Kang Yoonho adjusted the angle of Dang Hwarin's face with firmness. To her, it felt as if he was adjusting a target for easy memory imprints, like lining up a shot.
Is it coming? It must be, right? After all, Yoonho harbors feelings for her. What will happen next?
Right. First, get a clear answer. He approached first. She didn't mind, but since he came that close, she couldn't help it.
Don't even think about calling it a mistake. That would be saddening. No, that's not the point. Just tell me your true intentions.
Dang Hwarin internally smiled at the delightful plan brewing in her mind. However, Kang Yoonho shattered that plan with a single phrase.
"Loosen the front of your clothes a bit."
"What???"
Permission did not mean everything was possible. Moreover, the words Kang Yoonho uttered were far beyond the scope of Dang Hwarin's consent.
'How far should I tolerate this? No. How far will it go tonight?'
"Hick!"
Caught between fear and confusion, she let out a shrill scream when the man's hand approached her.
"Sorry. Hwarin-ah. That was a mistake. I didn't mean it like that."
Idiot. Complete idiot. Dang Hwarin, you're not an idiot because of your face. You're just an idiot. Why the hell did you scream?
Dang Hwarin looked at Kang Yoonho, unable to raise his head out of guilt. There was still a chance. She had her secret weapon.
Dang Hwarin knew Kang Yoonho would occasionally peek covertly at her breasts.
He probably thought he was being natural and she wouldn't notice, but who did he think was the one person she paid attention to?
A cumbersome and burdensome part of her body. But since it caught his attention, maybe it was worth using now. Maybe it could rekindle whatever had gone out in his heart.
"First, take a deep breath. I have something important to say."
As expected, when she loosened her clothing, it was as if a new fire had ignited in Kang Yoonho's heart.
"Yeah. I'm ready to listen."
Ready to nod too.
"Hwarin-ah. Your face is healing."
The words he uttered, however, betrayed her expectations and carried a truth beyond them.
----------
Dang Hwarin went to the washroom after experiencing all sorts of emotions – moved, elated, overwhelmed, weeping, happy.
Of course, she also felt the embarrassment of having misunderstood again. At the same time, she felt grateful to Yoonho. There was hope for the future.
I can heal.
Smiling at herself in the bathroom mirror, she laughed at the ridiculous misunderstanding. Why do you keep confusing me? It's not my fault. Let's quickly forget the shame and act as if nothing happened.
As soon as I see my friend, I'll thank them.
However, Dang Hwarin found herself unable to express gratitude upon seeing him.
The person before her was not Kang Yoonho, her friend, but Kang Yoonho - someone's sworn friend (莫逆之友).
'He's thinking of his friend.'
Dang Hwarin could tell even without asking that he was preoccupied with thoughts of someone else.
She had spent her life longing for a presence she never had, whereas perhaps Yoonho was still struggling with the eternal emptiness of something he once had.
"What are you thinking about?"
Hoping she was wrong in her assumption.
"Hmm. Just... if my friend could have taken this medicine, would they have recovered? Or would it have been insufficient? I was wondering about that."
But as expected, it was as she thought.
'I cannot replace his friend, can I?'
Sworn friend, he said.
He helped her for the sole reason of sharing a bond as victims of the same poison experiment. That friend must be an overwhelming presence in his heart.
But what about her relationship with him?
He is much too good to be true for just a friend like her.
Kang Yoonho had helped her when she suffered in pain, rescued her from a bandit lair, and ingeniously secured her the ownership of this bookstore when she was burdened with enormous debt and faced homelessness.
Thanks to the medicine he provided, she can now even imagine a future with a healed face.
'I have given nothing in return.'
He helped her simply because their paths crossed; she was of no help to him.
Without her, there would've been no need to revive this failing bookstore. With his eloquence and literary talent, he would have succeeded anywhere.
'Am I a shackle to him?'
If she weren't there, he wouldn't have had to rush about solving cases or spend all day in the bookstore; he could have comfortably focused on his writing.
The realization that she was impeding Kang Yoonho's path pierced through Dang Hwarin's heart.
"Yoonho... It won't be that you leave once I'm all healed, right?"
Dang Hwarin mutters the question she was too afraid to ask Yoonho.
When they first met, he said he was following her as atonement. If her face heals and the bookstore's debt is cleared, wouldn't that be the day Yoonho's atonement is fulfilled?
Would he then stay in Daseogak?
"Yoonho, we're friends, right?"
Friends stay by each other's side.
She remained the naive young lady of the Seong family, yet he had grown so much.
The gap between them, the generosity he had shown, it all grew too large. And of those, what grew largest was Kang Yoonho in Dang Hwarin's heart.
Yoonho called her a friend. She was truly grateful for that, but friends can't stay by one's side forever. If she wanted to keep him close, she must become more than friends...
Dang Hwarin stopped her thoughts abruptly.
'How could you? With this face? With this relationship? What audacity do you have?'
Powerless, Dang Hwarin shakes her head. The hope of being a substitute for his sworn friend vanished, leaving behind her diminished self.
"Should I... throw away the medicine?"
The constantly taken medicine. The medicine created by Kang Yoonho and his friend. If her face doesn't heal, perhaps he won't leave. If she doesn't take the medicine, can she keep him here?
Could she bind him to her forever?
"That would be a betrayal of Yoonho."
Dang Hwarin shakes her head from side to side. That would betray his trust, kindness, and his atonement. Everything.
She could never betray Kang Yoonho. If she betrayed his benevolence, she would lose even the right to be called a friend. Instead of harboring such thoughts, it's better to strive to become someone he wishes to stay beside.
Dang Hwarin swallows the medicine.
It had no taste other than its chalkiness,
but today, for some reason, it felt more bitter than any poison.
**************
"Yoonho! Wake up!"
Roused by Hwarin's indifferent morning call, I opened my eyes.
"Ugh! My stomach…"
The dreadful hangover was the first thing I felt upon waking. I rubbed my belly, got clumsily out of bed.
Whether there was writing to be done or a social gathering, I had to get to work. The Daseogak where I work is a golden labor environment, even tomorrow, and the day after - a constant cycle of work, Monday to Sunday. Who the hell is the shopkeeper?
"I'll make some honey water, just wait."
Hwarin quickly makes the honey water and hands it to me. After soothing my irritated stomach with honey water, I looked at Hwarin.
"Hwarin-ah."
"Hmm?"
"You look a little better than last night."
"Really?"
"Or not?"
"You really... you want to be cursed at?"
"No, for real. You've improved quite a bit. Enough that it's noticeable."
Yesterday, areas where clean skin had only begun to peek through now have patches as wide as the thickness of a baby's pinky finger.
"Really? It's true..."
Hwarin looks in the hand mirror and examines the improved area. Shouldn't she be more delighted? Why such a subdued tone?
'Did my renown increase overnight?'
Perhaps more people devoured my books last night, or there were many speaking highly of my writing as they did in yesterday's drinking revelries.
Is Hwarin's recovery the level that's become famous in Yichang now?
**********************
Hubei Province.
A certain county far from Yichang.
A grand mansion that stood – however, its interior was in shambles, only a few stewards remained.
"Has it appeared again this month?"
"Yes. Just like last month, it showed up again this month. It seems to be appearing periodically. We have not yet discovered which rogues are responsible, but it seems there's an influential figure behind it. Look over there."
The steward pointed toward a flag planted squarely in the midst of the devastated mansion.
"Eliminate the bourgeoisie. - Kang Mo."
"Who in the world is this Kang Mo!!!"
The notorious stewards who had resided in the mansion.
The steward lamented over the thief who became a hero to the people as they stripped the property overnight and distributed it to the poor peasants compellently.