Ch. XV | Alive

My eyes hurt. My body hurt. Why? I breathed in deeply, feeling my ribs creak within me. I winced instinctually, which is when I noticed it - light. It wasn't cauldron light. It wasn't torch light. It was daylight. I was seeing daylight through my eyelids. I could feel the cool earth beneath me which did not possess the same harshness as the cavern floor.

Why was I here?

I remembered bleeding on the ground. I remembered the difficulty of each breath, fighting with each inhalation to see her - Raina - one more time. I remembered the feel of bones cracking within my grasp and the agony wrenching my heart from me.

What happened?

My groggy mind began forcing thoughts to my waking self. Why was I seeing daylight? At the very least, I thought I would've been tucked away back under the ground. I thought my wounds would've ended me in my sleep.

I needed to see what was happening. I reluctantly forced my eyes open, squinting in the early morning light. The blur to my vision made it difficult to discern any information, and I had to blink slowly many times to even make out the nearest shape to me.

People. Dozens of them; but not just people – armed people. Armed people with pitchforks and hatchets and swords. They made no sound and, at the moment, didn't seem to be hostile; this much I was grateful for. They made no sound, that is, until the first few noticed that I was awake.

I couldn't hear their whispers, but the air was saturated with tension and nerves. They were terrified - and rightfully so. After the events of the previous night, who could blame them? Was it the previous night? How long had I been unconscious?

The murmuring grew louder as more and more of them realized I was awake. The sound reminded me of the summer insects in the evening at my home. I closed my eyes, my memory taking me back to these places.

"STEELE!" A bolt of lightning sent a shock through my spine as Raina's voice cut through the murmurs and buzz of the people of Creewood. My eyes, instantly focused, began searching for her form.

That's right!

The last thing I saw.

Raina.

She was standing in front of me - weeping.

Raina was being dragged away as that bolt was…

Her daughter! Terrilyn. Was she alright? I glanced around to see if Terrilyn was nearby. I hoped I hadn't scared her with everything that happened.

I surveyed the crowd until I saw Raina break free and run toward me. My heart pounded in my chest, creating an awful throbbing in my temple. Still, I managed a smile as she rushed up to my forehead and pressed her form against it. I closed my eyes and relished in her touch. It was like being kissed by the wing of a butterfly, delicate and almost imperceptible but present nevertheless.

I reached up slowly, instinctually, and ignored the gasps and fearful words of the people watching as I pressed the tips of my fingers along her back. My arm ached in protest, but I ignored it. I closed my eyes, letting the sensation take me. Her warmth, like this tiny flame on the end of a candle, spread through that touch - that connection. I let it soothe the empty throbbing in my chest that reminded me with each heartbeat of what I had done.

It didn't matter that my chest ached and creaked like an old ship. It didn't matter that, undoubtedly, every single one of those people watching wanted to see my end, or so I assumed. Raina was safe. Her daughter was safe. I had earned those precious moments of freedom and redeemed myself, even though it cost me everything I thought I held dear.

"Momma?" This new voice captured my attention. I held as still as possible while opening my eyes to see a young girl break from the crowd, yet freezing under my gaze for only a moment before continuing toward Raina. I smiled faintly, remembering the trust she showed in her mother for leaping to her even though Raina had been in my hand at the time. Her momentary hesitation was understandable, and I couldn't fault the young girl for it.

Raina turned and smiled while keeping one hand rested on my forehead.

"It's okay baby. Come on. Don't be shy," coaxed Raina. Before the girl could fully obey her mother, several other individuals who I didn't recognize stepped past the girl and approached Raina and me. The four of them were from a range of ages from what I could tell; and I didn't need to see Raina to sense the tension in her body. I dared not act rashly, but lying prone on the ground was not optimal.

I slowly and carefully began lifting my head. I felt the muscles in my core screech as I began to pull myself upward onto my right elbow. It had been so long since I remembered everything hurting like this in my body.

From the crowd, I heard gasps and shouts, screams of fear. Some of them called out for others to flee and run for their lives. Others called to stand firm and prepare to attack if I tried to stand or lunge in any direction. I didn't need to understand their language to know they were terrified and on edge from the attack.

I had redeemed myself in my eyes, for what little it was worth, but I had yet to earn the trust of the others.

It was then, only then, that I realized I didn't feel the knife in my side scraping against my ribs. I looked at my forearm and saw some strange form of rope sewn into my skin. Stitches? Sutures? Had they done this? It was the only explanation for why these things were in my body.

I felt a sense of confusion overwhelming my groggy mind. Everything still hurt and I felt weak and shaky. Still, I was alive. It was a miracle and, undoubtedly, I would ask Raina about this later. I had a different concern at the moment which included the armed forced before me and the four approaching me.

The group of individuals who began approaching looked to Raina, who was now pressed against the arm that was keeping me mildly upright, and then looked to me, skepticism and fear in their eyes. I could see them trembling, but silently commended their courageous behavior as they called out to me.

"Orion!" shouted one to my right, an older man with squinting eyes and a look on his face like he was sucking on bitter fruit. "This woman says you can understand our tongue. Is this true?"

"He can," said Raina before I had decided whether it was in my best interest to answer or not. "And as I said, his name is Steele."

"If he can speak, then let him speak. We do not need you to form his words if he really does understand us. You were, after all, the one who emphasized this Orion's intelligence."

I watched as these four strange men gave Raina a look that made my hair bristle and jaw harden. I choked a growl that was rising in my throat. I remembered her speaking about what her culture was like, but I had never seen such a look before. Still, I dared not speak out of turn and give them a reason to attack Raina and her daughter or myself in my current condition.

I had always prided myself in my cleverness and, at this moment, elected to use it.

I spoke in my tongue, so only Raina could understand me.

"Raina. Say I am not good at some words," I said, keeping my voice low and speaking slowly so Raina could understand everything I said. She whipped around and looked up into my eyes, mouth slightly agape as a look of confusion furrowed her brow. I looked her in the eyes, finding myself slightly in awe at her appearance.

For so long, I had only seen her by firelight from the cauldrons shrouded in the darkness of the cavern or the light provided by night. Now that I saw her spiraling curls in the sunlight and her light brown eyes, I was completely stricken by this woman. She truly was beautiful, inside and out.

I pulled myself from my thoughts and spoke to Raina again in my tongue.

"Trust me. Say I can understand, but need you to help sometimes. Tell me to say, 'I understand," I said again, this time giving them a look of frustration to play into the role. Raina looked confused for just a moment longer before catching onto what I was trying to do.

I could hear the muttering begin again among the crowd and I could see the look of complete concern growing in the group of four the more I spoke. I thought of uttering the same phrase I used for the guards - your frustration delights me - but I held my tongue and awaited Raina's guided line.

These fools needed to see how much work she had done and what it would take to earn my trust. Among all of these beings, only two held sway over me; and they were not among the four who so rudely addressed me.

Before they could speak, Raina stepped back and called to me in her native tongue so the others could hear.

"Steele, it's, 'I understand.' You remember?" After a moment, I nodded and looked to the four.

"I under-stand," I echoed. I watched proudly as Raina turned and addressed the masses.

"Sirs, Steele understands a great deal, but he does need help from time to time. Please, don't send me away from him," pleaded Raina. "Let me help." There was a long pause as the four muttered among themselves. Terrilyn, by this point, had cautiously stepped closer and closer around the four to Raina until she was safely tucked under her mother's arm.

I saw her glance back, peering over her mother's arm, and give a nervous wave. While the four deliberated, I looked down at Terrilyn and smiled, nodding respectfully toward her.

"Very well," the four stated finally. "Ori–... Steele. This woman says you are innocent of the charges you were convicted of. Is this true?"

I took my time and looked to Raina a few times, asking about words I already understood to allow her to translate. I could see a glimmer of pride as she recalled the correct words each time. I looked back to the four, to the crowd, and back to the four.

"Innocent. I did not hurt them," I said, keeping my voice low as if I were trying to breathe a whisper.

The crowd stirred hesitantly, still whispering among themselves. The four looked to one another and conversed quietly as well. They turned back and this time a younger member addressed me.

"If that were the case, why did you not attempt to escape sooner? Why did you not resist?"

I had to think about the question for a long time. Had Raina told them that Mithos was my son? Had she told them how ashamed I was that I had failed my family? Raina began translating, but I knew already what I was going to say.

"Shame… for my son. It was my fault. I… ended him to protect," I muttered. Even as I said it, I felt my insides twisting and churning inside. What had happened to him? His body? There was a fragment of me that didn't care to know and the other part which yearned to pay my respects.

I couldn't think about that as one of the four addressed me, voice slightly tense and bristling.

"He was your son? The other Orion?" asked one of the four. I clenched my aw for only a moment, an action which seemed to make the crowd nervous, before I nodded.

"Yes. Shameful son. I pay for his mistakes. It is our…" I turned to Raina and asked her for their word for culture, which she was easily able to give. "Culture."

I stilled before looking at the four, my eyes meeting each of their own for a moment in a gesture of sincerity.

"I would like to sorry for what he did. I can not give life back and owe my life to you. I am in your debt," I said. I winced at my own language usage. I could've elaborated or asked Raina for assistance, but these words spilled out from me and I was only partially aware that I needed to keep a low profile with my language usage.

The four looked to one another and seemed hesitant to discuss what was on their minds while being in my presence. Still, they seemed to manage by turning their backs and muttering under their breath.

I took the opportunity to look back at Raina just as she looked at me. I let a smile curl at the corners of my lips as I searched her light brown eyes for hesitance or some sign of what she wanted me to do. Evidently, she looked into my eyes and was searching for the same as this moment lasted for many moments.

"Are you alright?" I asked in my language to her. Raina nodded and returned her response in my language as well.

"I am. How are you? How do you feel? Are you alright?"

I wasn't sure how to answer that question. I looked to the sutures in my arm and took a deep breath to feel the creaking in my bones. I managed to stifle a wince as my head began once again to feel very light and my limbs tingling.

"Alive," I said simply in my tongue. "Though… I do not know how. I… these… how?" Raina followed my eyes and captured my gaze when I looked back to her.

"We did," said Raina in my tongue, fumbling with a few of the pronunciations but bringing a swell of pride in my chest all the same. "I mean, all of us. Creewood. The families you protected came forward and told the four and everyone what you did. They gave you herbs and helped suture your arm and your side."

"What are you two talking about momma?" asked Terrilyn, just barely loud enough for me to hear. Raina looked at me and excused herself to address her daughter.

"I'm telling him about how everyone came together to help him," explained Raina. Terrilyn looked to her mother and then to me. Then, clutching onto her mother's hand, she took a partial step out from beside her mother and began speaking – to me.

"I helped too," said Terrilyn, to my delighted surprise. Her voice was fainter than Raina's when I first met her and a bit higher too. Still, it warmed my heart, even if she spoke in her own language and not my own. I was thrilled, even in my exhausted state, that I could understand her.

"I… thank you, Terrilyn," I said, now realizing my throat had become tight. Raina leaned forward and planted a kiss on top of her daughter's curly auburn-haired head. As she looked back up at me, I noticed her eyes were glossy, glistening like a forest stream. Once again, she began speaking in my language.

"It wasn't just us. It was you. We needed time… I mean… It took time to do everything, but you… you didn't… you didn't give up. You didn't leave me. I was so scared Steele. I thought…" Raina, partially overcome by her own words, choked up and simply held her daughter closer and rested her chin on the top of Terrilyn's head.

I felt my own eyes glisten and, instinctually, moved my free hand forward until my fingers just barely brushed her back. I felt her lean into it, however light the sensation was against my skin. I heard murmuring from the crowd and, not wanting to rile the crowd, I removed my fingers from Raina's back but kept my hand nearby for support.

The crowd hushed once again as the four turned around to face me. Their faces held a curiosity and a flash of worry at seeing my hand so much closer to Raina than it had been before.

"Steele," addressed one of the four. "What is it that you want from us? What are your intentions now that you are free?"

"Free?" I echoed.

"Yes. Given the circumstances, testimony, and evidence presented, you are only guilty of loving your son and taking the blame for him. We do not know your customs, but we do want to know your intentions," replied one of the four.

Free? I had to think about the word for a moment as, for the first time, I realized that I was actually and truly free. What did I want to do? I looked to the crowd of curious and tense faces. I looked to the four who were awaiting my answer. Finally, I looked to Raina; beautiful, astounding, selfless Raina.

She had done so much for me. From soothing my wounds and protecting me from the guards to teaching me her language to speak. She was so young and full of life and her daughter had her life ahead of her.

Should I return home? Bring back my son to our home? With a heavy heart, I remembered that if I left I would return to an empty home. No one was waiting for me.

However, if I stayed, what would happen? Would I doom Raina to attend by my side? Even if I didn't ask this of her, she would be a challenge to part ways with.

The four, still needing an answer, looked at me promptingly. I would speak my mind the best I could, which was all I could do at the end of the day.

"I… have no home to return to – no family. It would be lonely, and I am hurt; but, I do not belong here. I do not want to make you afraid." I said softly. "I should return…"

"Steele!" Raina's shout interrupted my thoughts and, instantly, I silenced myself to hear her speak once again – this time in her language. "Stay. Don't… don't leave. I… I don't want you to leave us." I turned my eyes to Raina and smiled softly, once again touching my fingers to her back.

"Raina," I said soothingly. "You must live, not tied to old Orion like me. I… make them afraid."

"Do you want to stay? Steele?" I turned my eyes back to the counsel, who were the ones who addressed me. My heart, though aching, still fluttered at their statement. "Well? Do you want to stay?"

"I…" stunned, I couldn't find the right words, accidentally muttering my next words in my language where they could not understand except for Raina. "Would that be possible?"

"Steele wants to know if that would be possible," said Raina eagerly, turning toward the four.

They glanced, nervously at one another, before looking back to Raina and myself.

"Given the circumstances," started one of them. "We could, at the very least, use someone like you. Many of our homes are destroyed and our lands wounded from the actions of your son. It is in the interest of the counsel and Creewood, should there be no objections from our citizens, that you stay for the time being. We would host you and, in exchange, hope you will help rebuild, tend the fields, and protect should the circumstances arise."

My heart leapt into my throat. Was this possible? Could it be?

No.

Was this a reprieve? A moment of happiness I could cling to?

"There is also the matter," continued the other. "Of the Factotum. She would need to attend to you and, therefore, need her permission – which I believe she has already given."

"Yes! A thousand times, yes!" replied Raina as she looked back up to me, eyes shining brighter than the cauldrons of fire which used to fill the cavern.

Overcome with emotion, I could only nod. The corners of my eyes were wet and tears were dripping down my cheeks. I winced as I choked back a gasp of relief.

The four turned to the citizens and now addressed them.

"Citizens of Creewood. What say you to the Orion, Steele, remaining here during rehabilitation and recovery; remaining to rebuild homes and plow feels and protect us from threats akin to him? Bring your concerns forward."

No one spoke up. No one stepped forward. Were they afraid still of me? Were they afraid of being the only one to speak out against the frightening Orion and the counsel's call?

I could not describe the rush of relief which overcame me when no one – not one soul – stepped forward.

"Very well. Should concerns arise, come to us immediately," they said as they turned back to me. "Know this, Steele. We still possess the means to protect ourselves. Please, for the sake of your friend Raina, do not disappoint."

Raina, overcome with emotion herself, turned and wrapped one of her arms around my finger while also clutching her daughter tight to her chest.

I couldn't believe it. How? How could something so good happen after all I had done – all I had failed to do.

As I curled my hand slightly around Raina and her daughter, something inside me told me the Four Sovereigns, the deities I still held dear and true, had helped align these things. Raina stood alone with her daughter, who was young and needed guidance and protection. Perhaps this was the Sovereigns' way of giving me a second chance as I had been given a second chance through Raina and Creewood.

"Steele," said Raina, looking up at me. "Thank you."

"My friend," I said softly in return. "It is you who should be thanked. I… love you." Raina looked up at me beaming with tears glistening in her eyes. At this she chuckled and wiped the tears from her eyes.

"Do…" she interrupted herself with a chuckle. "Do you know what that means?"

Oh no… had I used it wrong?

"I thought I did?" I said, smiling and wincing as my rib panged with a jabbing pain.

"The test is if you would put your lips on my lips," said Raina with a chuckle, now speaking in my language as to not be heard by her young daughter. At this, I wrinkled my nose and shook my head.

"N-no… I…"

"It's okay," Raina reassured. "It's a different kind of love then; and you can still say I love you."

I breathed a sigh of relief before seeing the teasing look in her eyes.

"Silly," I said in her language. "But all is the same. You can love your friends; and I love you – thank you Steele."

As the crowd dispersed and they began to plan on how they would accommodate me and whether or not they could manage, I laid back onto the ground being careful with my sutures and laid my hand open. Raina, relinquishing her grasp on Terrilyn, walked up the length of my arm to my head and looked me in the eye, laying her delicate hand onto my brow.

"Get some rest," she said, stepping forward and pressing her forehead to mine. "I'll be back soon."

"Raina, will you stay just for a while?"

"Of course." I watched, slightly blurrily, as she nodded and made her way over to lay down along the palm of my hand. Terrilyn was not far behind, to my surprise. The sun peaked out from the clouds and shone down on us, warming my skin in a way I had not felt in ages.

The exhaustion of my body began to once again overtake me as I laid against the hard ground, Raina and Terrilyn's weight faint but present in my hand. I let sleep begin to drag me into a willing unconsciousness.

Where I thought I would laid to rest was far behind me. I had entered a deal to protect not only Creewood and its citizens, but also a silent vow to help Raina raise her daughter. It is what the Four Sovereigns would command and it was what I expected of myself.

They were safe, and I was free.

I scolded myself thinking before of surrendering to the abyss to serve eternal penance. I suppose… some part of me heard Raina – fought for her.

A new life was set before me – a life I would, from now on, cherish and attempt to earn with the rest of my days.

Now, truly, it was a good life.