Episode 16.Psychiatric consultation day

Today is the day to receive psychiatric treatment once every two weeks.

In fact, it says grandiosely that it is psychiatric treatment, but it does not do anything special.

I simply get counseling and get prescribed medication according to my mental state.

When I was young, I was given strong medicine every time.

However, after I became a middle school student, I started to stabilize little by little, and after becoming a college student, I almost stopped taking medication.

Medicine is a double-edged sword.

It makes people feel at ease, but at the same time makes people feel helpless.

When I take medicine, I often spend my days in a daze without thinking about anything.

So I don't want to take medicine if possible.

Even if you're alive, you have to act like you're dead.

"Then there are no problems at university?"

"yes. I'm doing well."

"okay. Do you have any friends?"

"no… A person who can be called a friend... … ."

"You don't have to rush. Because it's important to get used to living among people now. If you get better, friends will come naturally even if you don't like them."

Yoon Seo-ah, a neuropsychiatrist.

He has been in charge of me since middle school.

And every time I receive counseling, he says a lot of things that fill me with confidence.

It is said that some mentally ill patients get worse when they meet doctors who do not have the qualifications.

However, the role of the teacher was very important for me to improve my condition as I am now.

He listens to trivial matters and responds to counseling seriously.

As for me, he was the only counselor I could talk to even my family.

"Sir, I… … ."

"huh? Why?"

The teacher saw my attitude and sensitively caught that an important story would come out.

In fact, I was hesitating until now.

Will you tell me, or will you keep it a secret?

Maybe if I can't tell my teacher now, then I can't tell anyone.

And you might just keep grunting inside and explode.

Before that, I had to get help from someone.

"… … teacher. Could you keep this a secret?"

"of course. The teacher will promise you that what I will tell you from now on will be kept secret."

Yoon Seo-ah, famous as a beauty psychiatrist, often appears on TV and writes many columns in newspapers and magazines.

I didn't know where or how the story would leak if I didn't tell her to keep it a secret.

"in fact… … ."

But when I tried to bring it up, I was at a loss for words.

From where to where to talk.

No matter how much the teacher will properly keep the secret.

Are you saying it for nothing and causing damage to your family?

After hesitating again, the teacher put his hand on the back of my hand.

I could feel the blood circulating in my cold hands again.

"Seonhu. Anything is fine, so let's talk. If you have a problem, just talking to someone can help."

The teacher's eyes staring at me from under the glasses were serious.

I was convinced that I could trust this person.

"Teacher, the truth is… … I have a problem."

"okay. What is your concern?"

"That's a bit hard to say, but... … It's a sexual problem."

"Sexual troubles. It's a natural thing at this age. You don't have to be too shy."

This may be a problem for any young man.

But I was kind of different.

"But I am different. I want my family... … My family is seen as a sexual object."

"so? If it's the family of the ancestors, mother, older sister, younger brother, which of them?"

"… … all three Everything."

I bowed my head as I spoke.

have said I can't even pick it up anymore.

Will the teacher despise me too? It's a beast that goes into heat against the family that raised it.

It might be fortunate that I didn't say that there was even a physical relationship.

"I think the teacher knows what the seonhu are worried about. It's a family, but it's not just a family, but it's a story that looks like a woman, right? She appears to be an object of lust."

"… … yes. that's right."

After I said it, I belatedly regretted it.

Embarrassed, I couldn't even lift my face.

"Seonhu. You don't have to take it too seriously. Would you like to see the teacher?"

The teacher's voice was sweet.

I carefully raised my head and met the teacher's eyes.

"It is natural for a person to be kind to someone. It is natural for sexual desire to follow."

"Sir, but… … ."

"And it's not that uncommon for family members to have sexual desires. Everyone keeps it a secret, so it's just unknown."

"… … ."

Is it really like that?

Aren't you lying for me?

"And you think that the seonhu made a big mistake, but in fact, you didn't do anything bad, did you? You said you didn't like it, but you were forced to have a relationship, didn't you?"

I shook my head.

"Then it's okay. It's just that incestuous marriages are forbidden, because loving itself is not a sin. Strictly speaking, Seonhu is an adopted child, so it is not an incestuous relationship. They may be criticized morally, but no one can punish them before and after. In Korea, the 'right to love' is protected by law."

"… … The right to love?"

"okay. Did you know that there was such a thing as 'adultery' in the past?"

The teacher asked while stroking the ring on the ring finger of her left hand.

I shook my head.

"Adultery is when a married person has sex with someone of the opposite sex. It means the same as cheating. Until a few years ago, this was considered adultery and was a legally punishable crime. But this law was repealed. Why was it abolished?"

"… Why was it abolished?"

"Because it violates people's right to love. So if the teacher cheated on her with a man other than her husband, she would not be punished legally. Because teachers have the right to love."

"ah… … ."

The teacher took off the wedding ring she was wearing and put it on the desk.

The action seemed very meaningful for some reason.

"Wind is a clear victim. If the teacher cheated, the teacher's husband would be the victim. However, it is not the teacher's fault. Because she has the right to love the teacher."

It was. If you cheat, you become a victim.

But if it's not a crime, won't the victim be unfair?

The direct reason why my mother divorced her stepdad was because of her stepdad's wishes.

Although property division and custody were obtained, the stepfather was not punished at all. He continues to do what he was doing.

"Then what about love between family members? If family members love each other, who is the victim?"

The teacher asked with serious eyes.

I racked my brain hard, but no answer came to my mind.

"The victim… Isn't it?"

At my answer, the teacher laughed as if it was the correct answer.

"okay. No one is avoiding anyone. Rather, the victim is yourself before and after. You haven't done anything wrong, but you're struggling with a sense of guilt."

"I am the victim… … ?"

"okay. After that, you didn't do anything wrong. That means there is no need to feel guilty."

Even though it was an empty word, the teacher's words soaked my heart like rain during a drought.

I felt like crying.

All the things I've been thinking about for a while have gone.

I felt forgiven for all the sins I thought were wrong.

"Seonhu. You can't let go of your heart Because your family is special. There are plenty of people who would try to put you down even if they did nothing wrong, right?"

"yes… there is."

A malicious fandom that tries to damage it somehow.

And the reporters who throw food there.

It should never be known to such people.

Whether it's wrong or not, if they find out, they will definitely try to destroy my family.

"And another one. Never do anything the other person doesn't agree with. It is said that people have the freedom to love, but the same goes for the other person. You can't force anything. Do you know what the teacher means?"

"Ah yes. I will keep that in mind."

The teacher's advice was so obvious.

But it was also just as important.

Because if you cross the line with selfish desire, you may end up hurting each other that can't be washed.

"Finally, do you care about anyone besides your family?"

"Anyone who cares?"

That was another unexpected question.

Does the person you care about here refer to the object you feel sexual desire for, like you feel for your family?

"okay. Like girls from the same school."

"No, not really… I am still afraid of people other than my family."

I shook my head.

Not to mention the people I care about, and I don't even have close friends.

"okay. I'm scared... … Are you afraid of even the teacher?"

"no. The teacher is not afraid."

The teacher is the one who advised me since I was in middle school.

She is different from my mother, but to me, she is a grateful person who is like a lifesaver.

Maybe he was the one I talked to more openly than my mother.

"Then, how about the teacher? Have you ever felt a sexual desire for a teacher?"

"… … yes?"

I couldn't help but be embarrassed by the teacher's words.

It was so sudden and embarrassing that it was difficult to answer easily.

"You can be honest. I'm asking to determine whether the seonhu feels sexual desire only for her family, or whether the accumulated sexual desire is directed toward the closest member of the opposite sex family."

I barely understood why the teacher suddenly asked such a question.

However, it was not something that could be digested easily.

When I hesitated and couldn't answer, the teacher put his hand on the back of my hand again.

We held hands the same way as before, but somehow this time it felt different.

The teacher gently strokes the back of my hand.

I felt a little ticklish, ashamed.

When our eyes met, the eyes behind the glasses were smiling kindly.

Until now, I had never seen a teacher as an object of sexual desire.

But once I started to be conscious, my heart started beating strangely.

Originally, the teacher was famous as a beauty psychiatrist and female doctor.

When you need advice related to psychiatry on TV, you are always the number one recruiter.

With his intelligent appearance, sharp analytical skills, and friendly counseling attitude, he gained popularity as good as that of a celebrity.

And for me, he has been my counseling partner for a long time and I could say that he was the most open-hearted person outside of my family.

Against such a teacher, I was definitely feeling sexual desire right now.

"… … Can I be honest with you?"

"are you okay. Can you tell me?"

"I felt it. sexual desire. Even against teachers."

"Whoops. thank you. The teacher is not dead yet."

The teacher laughed and removed his hand from the back of my hand.

I felt sorry for the falling warmth.

What were you expecting? It's natural that nothing happened.

I brushed off the thoughts that popped into my head.

"Then the precedent is normal. He doesn't only feel sexual desire for his family, but his sexual desire, which has accumulated and lost its place, is only directed towards his family."

"yes… … ."

For me, I think the teacher might be special.

Anyway, this week's consultation ended like this.

"Remember what the teacher said today. If you have another concern, don't be alone and talk to me. Not necessarily to the teacher, but to the family as well."

"All right."

Today's consultation was especially rewarding as the troubles I was suffering from were resolved.

"Then, seonhu, see you in two weeks."

"Thank you, sir."

I greeted the teacher who waved politely and left the clinic.

My steps back home were lighter.

* * *

"ha… … ."

On the other hand, Mr. Yoon Seo-ah, who was left alone in the clinic after sending the seonhu back, sighed deeply.

"I failed this week… It was a great opportunity... … ."

She slumped on the desk helplessly.

Then he put his forehead on the desk and started muttering something.

"But touching a patient… … No, if you insist that this is also part of the treatment... … "

Then she looked at her right hand.

The hand that touched the back of the predecessor's hand.

I've been in charge of him for seven years, but I've only been able to touch him like this.

"Two weeks later… … ."

The hand naturally descended under the desk.

And he hid himself under her skirt.

"Ah… … ♡"

That's how Yoon Seo-ah spent her time alone until the next reservation time.

My child's sex education with mother 2nd

After talking with the psychiatrist.

Having gained confidence, I may have looked at the world a little lightly.

It's not a sin to love

And my family loves me as much as I love them.

I thought that this happiness would last forever.