When Carol told Kerry that Jordan had tried to hit on me when I was at the firm, Kerry said she did not know that and, after the penny dropped, said, “Fuck.” Learning from Carol that I was probably in the master bedroom, she rushed to me, now saying, “You think I have doubts about you? About us? About who I am?”
“I know what I saw.”
My all-consuming thought: We are over. I had been wrong to push myself on Kerry, desperately wanting her to be what I now realized she wasn’t.
“I’m sorry Kerry. It’s not your fault. I never should have done what I did to you…I just wanted you so much, I loved you so much, that I tried to make you into something you weren’t. Aren’t. Please don’t hate me for taking advantage of you…Please say you’ll at least be a friend. Please. I shouldn’t have tried to ‘convert’ you. I understand now.”