CH-20 My true Feelings [End]

As Jazzy completed her dailgoues…

—Ruuuushaaa!

An red dangerous mist engulfed the whole room. It was leaking through cracks and crevices into the hallway beyond.

"Hmm? What is this red… W-Wait! Isn't this killing intent of young mistress?"

"F-Fuck me! W-what is…"

The sentries posted outside… suddenly felt lightheaded. Their eyes rolling back as they saged to the floor, unintentionally.

Jessica's reputation as a flawless insane warrior is well-earned.

The extensive list of trounced opposition party spanned a miscellaneous array of creatures.

All were from mundane beasts to otherworldly entities, and even members of her own kind.

This bloody history had honed her murderous aura to a razor's edge, now additionally magnified by the abhorrence that scurry veins-to-veins.

"Has that scoundrel still survived or is in six feet under ground?"

Jessica growled with a venomous snake like screech.

She was already balking in her murderous aura, tempering the possession of lethal intent that had been diffused from her moments before.

Jazzy was nescient of the charged atmosphere.

She was engrossed in her storytelling, unsuspecting to Jessica's internal appetite and the evilness decorated in the air.

Jazzy's mind was wholly absorbed in recounting the sequence of events.

She was optimistically uneducated of the emotional undercurrents… was going around her.

"The handcuffs that restraints my suppressed abilities for three years… had finally ditches. I selected the moment when my captor let his guard down, I untethered my pent-up powers."

"I subjected him to excruciating the cruel purgatory till he begged for the sweet issue of death. Tragically, my human allies had already died in these game."

"Because of the injustice, I embarked on a rampage through all the demon royal family. While most proved no match for my wrath, a selected few posed a genuine challenge."

"The body count soared as I ripped so many ranks. I lost track of the total number, but I'm certain it was higher than ten thousand souls."

Jessica's mother's tears saturated her clothes as she resignedly clunged to her sanity.

She was resisting the urge to adventure solo into the demon realm on a killing spree.

"In the end… so-called exhaustion eventually overcame me, and I slumped in the heart of the city. After my awakening, I was in unfamiliar surroundings, once again squeezed by timidity."

"However, this time was different. There, rather than being imprisoned, I disclosed my injuries had been tended by someone."

"An elderly demonic woman had come to my aid. She also scolded me because of recklessness due to an unexpected revelation – I… was with a child in my womb."

At that time the baby nearly was killed due to her precipitous decisions, but that kind-hearted lady organised to rescue the baby.

Jazzy hadn't esteemed the ramification of her actions, and it almost cost an innocent life.

Thankfully, the old lady's quick thinking and help prevented a tragedy.

It was a wake-up call, making her suss out how her option could affect not just her… but the tiny being growing inside her as well.

Of course, She was… a mother again not the villainess…

And Jazzy felt both guilty and grateful – guilty for being so careless, but incredibly thankful for the stranger who stepped in when she needed help the most.

Jessica venerated the elderly woman's solicitude, thinking about Jazzy's violent history against her people.

Even with not standing the bloodshed, the old woman had furnished some assistance.

"Was she instrumental in your escape? It's no small feat to cross realm borders, especially after having such a notorious credit."

"I'm astonished you weren't apprehended for questioning or facing consequences. How did you evade their knight capture?"

Jazzy responded to each query.

"Yes, she did. Not only that, but she also sheltered me for the next four years. During this tough time, she rarely left my side, helping me with the devotion of a biological parent caring for an disabled child."

"Throughout this ordeal, I developed a strong aversion to demons. It was reasonable… given my harrowing experiences."

"I'm m not so narrow-minded as to condemn an entire race. That compassionate soul proved there is goodness even where you least expect it."

Jazzy pivoted around, her gaze bobbed to the ceiling as she covered her eyes with the crook of her arm.

"Truth be told. there was an internal grapple. One part of me lust to abort the pregnancy."

"But another voice recommended: 'What harm has this innocent child done?' I'm not evil so ultimately I chose to bring Jass into the world."

"If that's the case, why did you seem to withhold your endearment?"

Jessica pressed gently for more insight. She has her own theories but desires validation from Jazzy's perspective.

"I-I-I… I might have learned not to hate entire races, but... Jass carries the blood of someone I detested, my tormentor. My emotions just... can't accept her. Each time I look at her, those horrific memories wrestle with me at night."

She understood, rationally, that the child adopted no censure. The mere sight of Jass… just triggered the battery of traumatic flashbacks.

It was as if her daughter was… an existence that reopens old wounds, plunging Jazzy back into the black hole of her past desolation.

The coordination dissonance between her logical understanding and visceral reaction.

It created a chasm that she jockeyed to bridge.

Jazzy's decision to expel Jass from their home wasn't solely due to the bullying incident.

It was a culmination of complex emotions, including her own inner battle.

While she did reprimand Jass for tormenting a cancer patient, the punishment elongated beyond that singular event.

Before cutting off all the relationship, Jazzy had corroborated Jass's financial stability by transferring per month in a substantial sum to her account.

Only after confirming Jass's misconduct through irrefutable evidence, Jazzy impinged a different kind of sanction.

She withdrew emotionally, refusing any type of communication with her daughter.

This silent treatment was judged as both a reflection of Jazzy's disappointment and a manifestation of her unlimited internal pain.

As the years passed, both figured never to meet-up again.

Jazzy keeps herself busy to make her family's fame famous. It has accountability for why Stella's family is at a place where nobody could mess with them easily.

Undoubtedly, their paths crossed by coincidence but Jazzy chose to look the other way.

In that period, A pall of despair seemed to hang over from her side, as if death itself were stalking her every move.

Jass's cruelty towards a patient reignited Jazzy's traumatic memories of her own torture at Michael's hands.

It was as though she suddenly saw a duplicate of Michael's malice in her daughter.

This unsettling imagination made Jazzy feel as if she were staring into a mirror of her past.

To her it seems more like she was raising the very demons she had long tried to escape.

Afterall, Jass also has traits indicating that her criminal that shook Jazzy to her core, blurring the lines between past and present, victim and perpetrator.

"I confess, my feelings for her were neither love nor hatred."

Jazzy admitted. "Of course seeing her suffering or being mistreated always shattered my heart."

Unbeknownst to Jass, during her childhood, Jazzy defended her daughter with all her family power.

Any complaint from Jass resulted in swift retribution - offenders faced severe up shots, often losing their jobs or having their careers decimated.

A poignant memory reappeared in Jazzy's mind: the day she received news of Jass murdering someone who had shown her affection.

Jazzy launched an investigation, only to get reported that Jass had indeed taken an innocent life.

From that moment, she began referring to her daughter as a 'mistake.'

As a mother, It caused her constant pain, where Jazzy found herself emotionally ill-equipped to properly discipline Jass.

The conflicting emotions of protectiveness and disappointments leave their relationship in a perpetual state of tension and never solved feelings.

"Mom, have you considered discussing her feelings with her? It might be beneficial to try and understand her point of view." Jessica suggested, inhaled deeply.

She casted a calming spell to fade her frustration.

At that moment, her priority wasn't to unleash her anger upon the demon hordes. It is time to give support to her mother and give her better and better advice.

"It's not that simple! I've tried to communicate, but each time it leaves me speechless."

"My words always catch in my throat. Deep down, I panted to welcome her with adulation and adoration, but I was always paralyzed by memories. At those times only old terrors from my past come rushing back in dreams."

This time, Jazzy showed her face, her emotions barely contained inside. The floodgates opened, and silvery droplets cascaded down from the side of her eyes.

"I was enlightened that I erred in neglecting her. I even fabricated stories to conceal my real emotions. But now, I genuinely wish to mend our relationship."

"I have been seeing an excellent therapist. Now I'm okay. When I encountered her after such a lengthy absence, those haunting recollections didn't resurface. However… her cold shoulder at the stadium left me heartbroken."

"I-I just..." Jazzy inhaled sharply, her chest heaving with emotion.

"All I want is to hear my… l-l-little girl call me 'mom' again. J-Jessi, please, tell me what can I do?"

Jessica cried and she dabbed at her mother's cheeks, wiping the falling droplets.

"Don't worry… Things will improve, I promise..."

Jazzy sat down on butt and cried loudly, covering her face with palms.

"A-All these past years… I-I-I have come to ascertain something... She means the world to me… I-I… I love my little daughter… Please help me…"