20. A Life-Changing Dinner With Her Majesty

The first man I ever fantasized about was the Spaniard. The last man I fantasized about was…..

Our families arrived at the same time but sat at opposite sides of the massive dining table. It was very long and made of solid dark chestnut wood. The meal was served à la carte style; I guess that's what the Regent liked. "Will his majesty be joining us tonight?" Father inquired after the queen, who sat directly at the head of the table. Her head gave a dismal shake. "No. The king prefers to dine in private these days, and the Regent is staying elsewhere in London." Oh good. I hadn't wanted to see the future King George IV after all those nasty rumours reached my ear. Originally I thought it was all mere gossip, but then I heard he planned on banning his wife from his coronation…

The dinner itself was very fine. Lots of elegant food, clear soup, and decadent pastries. Benedict- who attended along with me, Father, Anthony, and Colin- impolitely snickered into my ear that he now understood why all the royal princes wore corsets while the queen wasn't listening. That was another thing the Regent was infamous for…. I avoided the topic and concentrated on quietly nibbling at my food. Meanwhile Father, her majesty, and Lady Danbury all talked. It was all meagre small talk at first, so I didn't pay much attention, anxiously waiting for the queen to mention the prince…. And my possible future with him.

A kick from underneath the table suddenly made me jump. My head shot up forward to see the duke smirking back from across the table. He brought his fork up to his mouth and shook his head at me; I think he was silently scolding me for being so reserved and eating primarily my sweets first. It took me a second to read his face, but when I did, I grinned back defiantly in only a way he could see. Just to be cheeky, I deliberately took another bite of cake and his eyebrow rose in disapproval, making me inwardly giggle. No one else seemed to notice this wordless little exchange; certainly no one from side of the table. I don't think Lady Danbury saw either…

But the queen did.

Anthony had to ruin everything when he absent-mindedly held up my chalice so a manservant could fetch some more water. "Here drink, sister. Finish the rest of my water while your glass gets filled." I rolled my eyes and sighed. "I'm fine, brother. Don't worry so much." Father laughed at this little exchange, reaching over to pat Anthony's arm approvingly. Now everyone's attention was on the three of us. "He's always been like that- my first born. Anthony's very protective over his siblings, especially Daphne," Father declared. Lady Danbury also nodded in approval. "He'll be a fine viscount one day, your lordship. No doubt about that." "Quite right, Lady Danbury. I know he'll continue to watch over my brood…. When I'm no longer here." "Father," Colin sighed wistfully, earning a grin from our family patriarch. The queen all the while had been watching and finally picked up her fork again, glancing down at her plate with a knowing shimmer in her eye.

"Your family is especially close, Viscount." "Yes, your majesty." Her highness's head gave a faint nod. "Hmmmmmm, reminds me of my own kin. The king and I were always anxious that our daughters should be married off and move away to some distant country somewhere." "Aren't there six princesses?" Colin stupidly asked, receiving a sharp elbow to the ribcage from a humiliated Benedict. It was a contentious issue at court that none of the princesses had been married, despite lots of them being well into their thirties. I cringed inside as the queen frowned, obviously displeased by the question.

Fortunately Lady Danbury and Father was smart enough to fix the awkward situation. "Your sentiments are very understandable, your highness," Lady Danbury admitted. "Indeed. Why, I would never permit any of my girls to marry someone aboard," Father stated while taking a sip from his wine glass. All of my brothers nodded their heads like this was perfectly reasonable, and I began to feel sick inside. The queen's eyes shifted from me back onto my father, who was completely unaware of the events about to transpire. So was Lord Hastings….

Her majesty leaned back in her chair a little, not taking her stare off of Father now. "Is that so, your grace? I suppose that makes sense; you must have imagined that all the Bridgerton ladies would marry Englishmen," the queen hummed. "Precisely, your majesty." "But I should wonder…." Her highness paused here for emphasis; I was holding my breath the whole time. The duke looked at me from the side of his eye ponderingly but not worried. I meanwhile waited on pins and needles for her to continue, which she did after a moment. "Would it be possible to persuade you to a different opinion, should the opportunity arise, my lord?"

The table grew silent, and Father's eyes were very wide. I think he could sense where this was going but there was no telling what the truth was. His lips parted and he drew in a deep breath. "I shouldn't think….. such an opportunity would ever arise, your majesty," his words were quieter now. The queen gave that tiny hint of a smile of hers and leaned back some more.

"I'm sure you're knowledgeable of the Habsburg dynasty." "Of course! They've amassed an extensive- and quite impressive- empire. Napoleon was foolish to go up against his majesty, King Frederick," Father declared. "Hmmmmm, yes; my brother will set him to rights, I have no doubt. But he is rather anxious that his sons should stay out of the war, with the exception of the Prince Royal of course." "Of course," both Father and Lady Danbury nodded. There was a pause here, with the queen running her finger along her bottom lip in a thoughtful manner. "His other sons- my nephews- have been sent aboard in search of wives, so they might heh, expand their empire and its influence further." "Is that so? I was unaware that the princes left Prussia. Traveling across the mainland at this time must be so dangerous," Father replied, only for the queen to nod her head agreeing. "Indeed, your grace. I don't suspect that my nephews, or their new brides, shall return to Germany until the war is over."

Another very brief lull in the conversation slipped in here. I thought I was going to faint, my head was so dizzy with anticipation. The queen tapped her fork on the rim of her plate rhythmically. "It just so happens that one of my nephews, Prince Frederick, has come to lodge in London here with me." "Oh! What a surprise, and very good news for you, your majesty. Now you'll get to spend time with your nephew," Father said with delighted animation. Lady Danbury meanwhile was beginning to have an enlightened- and horrified- look on her face. The queen nodded. "Indeed. My brother has tasked me with finding Frederick a suitable wife while he's here. He wants to strengthen Anglo-Prussian relations, and believes marriage is the best means to achieve this." "Ah, so he's come to wed one of the royal princesses, then? Very sensible," Father said. He then took another bite of mutton as the queen eyed him calculatingly. "Those were my brother's original intentions, yes your grace. But his intended, my Elizabeth, has rejected the proposal." Rejected or been told to reject? I doubt Princess Elizabeth's parents would let her accept the match…. Despite matching everyone else up. But I stayed silent and kept my stare pointed down. The only ones who detected this were the duke and Anthony, but they too remained quiet. The queen and Father were the only ones conversing now….

Father took a sip of wine and set his cup down. "Oh, that's a shame. Does the king have someone else in mind, so the prince shouldn't go home empty-handed?" "I have someone else in mind," her majesty was quick to correct him. "Oh?" Father wiped his mouth with his napkin, completely unaware of the mood permeating the room. "My brother has entrusted me to find a suitable match for his fourth son, and I believe I have found one." "Marvellous, your majesty! And so fast! Who is the lucky lady, if I might be so bold to ask?" A very, very, very long moment of silence- you could hear a pin drop.

"Why, the first-born Bridgerton lady, of course."

Anthony literally spit out his drink. Both Benedict and Colin dropped their forks. Father's stare was a hundred yards. Lady Danbury's expression was one of genuine shock and terror. And the duke….. The duke's reaction was impossible to read right away. His face betrayed a million emotions all at once, and none of them good I believe.

It took some time for any of us to muster the stamina to say anything, but Anthony was the first to speak out. Breaking all social conventions, he practically leapt out of his chair and slammed both hands down onto the dining table, making the rest of us flinch. "No! Absolutely not! Tell her no, Father! You're not letting Daphne move to Prussia, especially with the current political climate on the continent!" "Calm yourself, Anthony. There's no need to shout," Father waved his hand at him before turning back to the queen. "You must excuse my son's outburst, your grace; he was simply taken by surprise, as I must say I was. Are you…..? You can't be…. Are you really suggesting that Daphne, MY Daphne, marry your nephew? Prince Frederick of Prussia?"

The queen, to her credit, took the situation rather well. She merely wiped her own mouth with her napkin in a patient fashion. "Precisely, my lord. It has come to my attention recently that the match I arranged for your daughter may not be in the best interest of all involved. Miss Bridgerton has a pristine reputation, is well-educated, well-mannered, and above all, shows kindness to all she meets to a fault," a dramatic pause here. "I believe she and my nephew will get on nicely. She's just the type of lady my brother would pick for a daughter-in-law."

Father's hand drew up to hold his forehead. His eyes wandered aimlessly for a second, as if he couldn't believe his own ears. "But Daphne…..? I just don't understand. I-I'm flattered you elected upon my daughter to marry the prince, but….. but I'm dumbstruck. I'm utterly confused, your majesty." "As am I, Father. Daphne can't marry Prince Frederick," Anthony declared with finality. "She's already engaged to the duke of Hastings," Colin added, which I Anthony preferred left unsaid. He wasn't keen on that match either….. This statement finally prompted Lady Danbury to give her two cents on the matter. "Master Bridgerton is correct, your majesty. Miss Bridgerton is already to be married to my god-son." "They are engaged, Lady Danbury; not yet married. Miss Bridgerton is able to court the prince and marry him, so long as she has my permission and the duke's," the queen shot back, giving her a disapproving look.

"Court the prince….." Father fell back in his chair, still staring off into space. Anthony blinked at him expectedly. "But Father, she cannot move abroad on her own. What about her condition? She needs us there just in case anything should happen." "He's got a point, Father. Marrying the duke is one thing; it would still be easy for us to see her. But marrying a Prussian prince….." Colin added. "I don't want her living that far on her own, Father. She needs to stay in England, or visit the continent with one of us," Anthony proclaimed, and her majesty looked at him. I felt her eyes drift back onto me.

"What do you say, Miss Bridgerton?" "Huh?!" My shoulders perked up; it was the first time anyone had addressed me verbally that night. Suddenly all eyes were intently glued on me and I felt my heart start to race. Me….? Why is she asking me this? "You've been awfully quiet about the whole affair. What do you think? Would you like to marry my nephew and move to Prussia?" "I…" My lips began but couldn't finish. What could I say to that? As if to prompt me, that indetectable grin of hers returned. She leaned back against her cushion and smiled my way. "The prince is charming, and very good looking. I believe you will be happy with him, Miss Bridgerton; he'll certainly be happy with you. He can give you what you truly desire…" "What? Land?" Colin foolishly asked again; Benny elbowed him harshly in the side once more to shut him up. The queen's eyes locked onto mine just then, lowering ever so slightly. "You know what I'm referring to, yes?" My mouth opened to answer, but then shut out of shyness and embarrassment. Yes…. Yes, I knew.

"Daphne?" Father finally turned back to face me. He looked like someone had punched him in the gut, but he was slowly recovering. Our eyes met too. "Father, I…" But I couldn't say more. We stared at one another for a long moment before he let out a sigh. "Your brother's right. I can't let you go….. Not with your condition. You're too weak to be on your own, my darling." "Father," I trembled, my hands shaking. Only then did he smiled; he smiled so brightly at me. "I'll never be able to let you go….. so I'll come with you." "Huh?!" Me and my brothers all perked up in pure shock. Only Father wore a contented expression now, and all while observing me. "I'll come; I'll move to Prussia with you and the prince…. If that's what you want." "Father!" Tears started trickling down my cheeks. He stood up, stretching his hand out for mine. "I'm getting on in years, and Anthony will inherit my title and the estate soon anyway. He will be a good parent to the rest of your brothers and sisters; I know they'll be in good hands. So I might as well spend my golden years abroad…. We wanted to return to Europe someday, and I've always wanted to see the German countryside." "Oh, Father," my eyes were flooded with tears now. In another display of disrespect for social convention, I took his hand and let him lead me into an embrace. We wrapped our arms around each other, and I silently wept into his shoulder, much to the surprise of all present. My brothers looked like they were about to protest but her majesty gave them a firm look from the head of the table. "Consider what is best for your sister," she told the three of them, which was enough to keep them quiet.

All the while, Lady Danbury gawked at the queen in sheer disbelief. She clearly wasn't happy with the brand-new arrangement and was about to make her thoughts indirectly known. "Are you certain about this, your highness? You already paired Miss Bridgerton up with Simon." "Quite, Lady Danbury. But I'm not so proud as to admit that I might have been a tad hasty with the match. I've taken a liking to Miss Bridgerton, and would like to see her happy in her marriage. Wouldn't you agree?" That was a loaded question: if Lady Danbury agreed, she'd be admitting that the match between Lord Hastings and I was an ill one, and if she disagreed that would reveal her bias to her god-son. So she wisely stayed quiet and didn't answer. And the queen smiled because she knew…..

The whole time there'd been one figure present that no one had paid any attention to. I hadn't looked at Lord Hastings much since the queen made the proposal, but when everyone eventually turned back to him, his face was astonishing. If Father looked like he'd been struck, the duke looked like he'd been run over by a carriage. It truly surprised me, the contortion in his expression just then…. I didn't think he'd take the news this hard. I didn't think he'd take it hard at all! I mean, this would be that he's free! He wouldn't have to marry me, just like he always said he wanted. Shouldn't be he thrilled right now? I didn't understand his reaction…..

I didn't understand.

Her majesty looked at Lord Hastings, and her smile immediately vanished. She almost seemed to be unimpressed by his response, or lack thereof. Frowning, she eyed him from across the table. "Well, your grace? What do you say?" The duke said nothing. "Miss Bridgerton needs your permission in order to marry the prince," sensing the atmosphere tensing, Lady Danbury was quick to speak to her god-son. "My permission?!" Lord Hastings suddenly blurted out, nearly as if he was offended by this. "You're technically still her fiancé until you say otherwise," Benedict informed him; Anthony was too busy scowling at the duke from his side of the room to say anything. "Her fiancé?" This caught his grace by surprise, like he'd completely forgotten for a moment.

The room went silent once more, with all eyed now cemented onto the flustered duke. His eyes moved every which way, expect for my direction. It's like he refused to look at me right then. As if suddenly realizing he held the power in the situation, his voice next spoke with more confidence. "She needs my permission….." The duke said this like it was a good thing. Sensing he wasn't about to freely give it, the queen sent him another prominent frown. "Young man, if you care at all about this woman, you'll give her your blessing," I'd never heard that tone of voice from her before; it was parental and authoritative, like a mother speaking to a child. Even Lord Hastings blinked up to her in astonishment; I don't think he was used to people talking to him like that. Once his attention was fully on the queen, she went on to publicly chastise him. "You've made it apparent from the very start you have no interest in marrying Miss Bridgerton. The kindest thing you can do for her now is let her go. Give her your consent to consort with the prince, and eventually marry him. Both of your reputations will remain untarnished since I proposed the affair. Therefore, you have no reason to deny her this request. Do I make myself clear?" "U-Uh, yes?" He stammered a bit. That knowing little grin came back in full force to the corners of her mouth as she stared at him. "Good. Then do it. Give your fiancée your permission, Lord Hastings." "I…. I…" Stuttering, the duke's eyes finally landed back onto me.

He stared at me a moment, while I was still wrapped in my father's arms. It should have been easy: five little words. 'I give you my permission.' He should have said it by now, but…. but he didn't. Instead his eyes pierced mine, like hooks reaching in and refusing to let go. A part of me was waiting, and a part of me never wanted this moment to end. I guess somewhere deep down inside I knew…. I knew the moment he said that, it would be over. Everything between us would be over. Did I mind that? No, of course not! I wanted to marry the prince; I wanted to have my own love story, and experience real love. Lord Hastings made it clear that he would never love the way I desired….. And he wasn't my type, was he? I don't think he was my type… So then why was I holding my breath again?

The duke's lips parted, and he instinctively stood up from his chair. The tips of his fingers didn't leave the table, and he kept his stare glued onto my eyes. Nothing more happened for a moment and the queen grew impatient. "Well, Lord Hastings? Do you formally give Miss Bridgerton your consent to break off the engagement and marry the prince?" She pressed. His grace didn't even breathe for a moment, simply beholding me with no effort whatsoever. But soon enough he blinked and shook his head a little. He looked back to her majesty with an insincere expression, and his fingertips were still planted onto the tabletop. "I…." He paused to clear his throat and straighten his back. "I give Miss Bridgerton my permission…..

I give her my permission to….. court Prince Frederick of Prussia."