Chapter 148

VOLUME FIVE: MENACE

Menace

January

“Jesus, please tell me that’s not what you’re wearing tonight.”

At the sound of my eighteen-year-old’s too deep voice, I turn around. Like I find myself doing more often than not now, I stop a second and take in the moment. In a few months, he won’t be here to make fun of what I’m wearing.

God, when did Caleb get to be a man standing in front of me? Older than I was when he came into the world screaming and shaking. I can still remember when they placed him in my arms and told me I was responsible for his entire life. He was so small, and I remember looking up at the nurse, asking if it was okay to hold him. Like I needed permission or something. I’ve taken the responsibility of raising him seriously – because I wanted to – but also because there was no one else to do it. He and I, we’ve come a very long way together.

“What’s wrong with it?” I press my hands against my chest, smoothing the shirt down.