The Goodbye Chapter

Cecilia's 15th birthday was depressing.

Sirius got her a pink cupcake with one candle on it, like every year. The mood has always been strange between them when they had to spend more than a few minutes together; neither of them was really a man of words (especially Cecilia, who was a woman).

Cecilia and Sirius were both sitting in the kitchen in front of the lit candle on the cupcake, watching the wax run down the dessert until it was no longer edible and the candle went out. None of them had anything to say.

Cecilia was about to get up and throw the cupcake when Sirius stopped her. "No, your back still hurts; I'll get that."

It's already been a month since the accident, and the tattoo has been completely healed for over a week now, but Cecilia knew that this was how he expressed his unnecessary regret.

Cecilia really didn't feel it was necessary; there was nothing else he could do in this situation. But Sirius seems to insist on acting like she's still in pain.

It's become so much more obvious since they bump into each other every so often.

It happened more recently than ever, mainly because Cecilia hadn't left the house since the accident and Sirius had almost completely stopped locking himself in the garage. He now just sits in the living room, watching daytime TV shows and drinking beer. The only difference between this and what he does at night is that at night he watches nighttime TV shows.

Cecilia really didn't know how he survived until now by himself.

"By the way," Sirius opened his mouth, surrounded by a layer of unshaven stubble. "I talked to the administration of the place; you will be sent there next week for the beginning of the next school year, along with everyone else."

Since the decision was made to send her to academia, he refused to call it by its name. Cecilia didn't even know the name of the school she was going to yet.

Even so, she was quite happy with the news. She was both eager to leave the house that was becoming more depressing by the day and simply happy that Sirius had said a few sentences in a row; it was a huge improvement for him.

She was almost tempted to put on the psychologist's glasses and ask, "And how do you feel about that?" But other than that she was pretty sure there were no glasses in the house, "How do you feel about that?" became especially clear when it came to Sirius.

His depression grew deeper and deeper as the days passed, and she was generally afraid to ask him if she needed any supplies. 

His face, which in the past still showed how beautiful he was in his youth, became more and more pale, and his posture became more stooped than before.

Cecilia really wanted to ask him if he was reluctant to lose her company or reluctant for her to go to academia. 

The truth is that both answers made her a little happy; both showed that she was an important person in someone's life (even though the second answer kind of terrified her).

With each passing month, she didn't dare ask Sirius who those people were, what kind of academia it was, and what Kira meant when he said that he was supposed to kill her. She just waited quietly for Sirius to open up, a thing she knew deep down that would never happen.

Both of them, in their own ways, avoided the subject and each other until the day of departure came.

At 05:30 in the morning, Sirius woke her up, telling her to get ready.

Cecilia packed some clothes and necessary products in a dirty orange backpack (all the suitcases seem to have mysteriously disappeared from the house) and showered; they both silently agreed to skip breakfast.

By 06:00, both were in the car, and the weather was foggy and chilly, which was not usual for the end of August. 

They traveled for four or five hours, during which time they did not stop or open their mouths. Cecilia was too embarrassed to ask where they were going or ask to make a little bathroom stop, and Sirius did none of those things on his own initiative.

To her surprise, Sirius stopped the car in the seaport parking lot, looked directly at her now curseless eyes, and hugged her tightly.

"Wait," Cecilia murmured. "Hard to breathe."

After the longest hug that both of them have probably experienced in their lives, Sirius got out of the car, followed by Cecilia.

"The ship called 'The Duchess of Malfi', look for the fancy weirdoes." He handed her her orange bag.

Cecilia took it and felt that the bagpack was heavier than before. She wanted to open it and see, but Sirius stopped her.

"Open it only when you're alone. Iv'e added a little thank you for being my companion all of these long years."

"Uncle..."

"You can call me dad if you want to." He said with mock nonchalance as they got out of the car.

Sirius was not the touchy-feely type of guy, this is the most emotion that could be squeezed out of him, enough for Cecilia to appreciate whole-heartedly. She hugged him one last time while choking her sobs.

"You're going to be late," he said, hinting at her to let go, even though his quiet voice didn't sound particularly steady.

She walked a few steps, and as Sirius got back into the car, she suddenly turned and shouted at him, "Dad!" She watched with satisfaction as Sirius turned back, responding to the nickname.

As if possessed by a demon, she couldn't help but try again and again "Bye dad! Don't forget to eat, dad! And remember to sleep at least six hours every day and go outside at least once a week, dad! And don't forget to stop at a gas station on the way back, dad! And go to the bathroom, dad! Don't forget you need to shave sometimes!"

She yelled an ever-increasing level of awkwardness at him while crying, calling 'Dad' over and over as compensation for all the times she hadn't called it in her life.

The people around her looked at Cecilia like she was crazy, but even after several minutes, even though Sirius got into the car and ignored her screams, her dad's car didn't leave. 

That was enough for her.

After she said every embarrassing reminder she could think of, she began walking slowly towards the docks, occasionally looking back to make sure her dad hadn't left.

And right up until she mingled with the crowd of people, Sirius remained where he was.