Chapter 36: Kael and Alaric

The twilight was beginning to fall, bathing the forest in a soft, golden glow. After the ambush by the bounty hunters, we had finally found a moment of respite. The camp was set up near a small stream, and the scent of damp earth mingled with that of the surrounding herbs. The silence that enveloped the forest was unsettling, but for the first time in hours, I could release some of the tension accumulated in my muscles. Yet, the fatigue refused to ease. It weighed on me like an invisible but constant shadow.

I sat by the campfire, exhausted. The crackling of the flames danced before me, hypnotic. My mind was still clouded by the recent battles, by the rage and violence that had consumed me over the past days. I felt something in me shift, as if a part of myself was crumbling, disappearing under the weight of everything.

Kael approached softly, a blanket draped over his shoulders and a worried expression on his face. His eyes were tired, the dark circles beneath them a testament to his drained energy. He had spent a large portion of his magic during the fight, and though he had a calm and reflective temperament, his concern for me was palpable.

"Alaric," he murmured gently, sitting down beside me. "We need to talk."

I continued to stare at the flames without answering. But I knew he wouldn't drop the subject. Kael wasn't the type to hold back when it came to his friends.

"I see what's happening," he continued, his voice full of worry. "This... violence in you. It's stronger than before. It's wearing you down, and I'm concerned."

I clenched my fists unconsciously. He was right. The rage inside me during the fights was becoming uncontrollable, almost primal. Last time, in the fortress, I had turned into a bloodthirsty monster, killing my enemies without mercy. Even those who had begged for their lives, I had silenced without a shred of regret in the moment. And that look... the final, pleading look of one of the soldiers before I struck him down haunted me still.

"I don't have a choice, Kael," I finally said, my voice hoarse. "They're trying to kill us. If I don't hit with everything I have, we won't survive."

Kael lowered his head, thoughtful, but his voice remained calm. "I know. I know you're doing this to protect us. But at what cost? Alaric, I can see that something in you is wavering."

I sighed, running a hand through my short, tightly coiled hair. I knew what he meant. These past months had been grueling. Between the battles, the missions, the endless search to find my friends, and the confrontation with my own inner demons, I wasn't sure who I was anymore. My body had changed, and so had my mind. Even Lira no longer recognized me. I thought that rescuing my friends would be a victory, but instead, it had only deepened the distance between us. An emotional chasm had opened.

"I'm tired, Kael. Tired of fighting. Tired of always having to kill to survive. And the more I fight, the more I feel... this shadow inside me growing." My voice cracked slightly, but I refused to show any weakness. Not in front of Kael, not in front of someone who had always seen me as a pillar.

"You don't have to carry this burden alone, Alaric," Kael said softly. "We're a team. We've always been, even when Lira and I were separated from you. What you're doing for us is immense, but you need to remember who you really are."

I looked up at him, surprised. "And what if I no longer know who I am?" I finally admitted, my voice barely audible. "What if what I'm becoming... is all that's left?"

Kael placed his hand on my shoulder, a simple but comforting gesture. "I refuse to believe that," he said, his voice firm despite his exhaustion. "You're still Alaric. The one who saved me countless times. The one who fights for what's right. But you need to ask yourself the right question: is this violence, this rage... really the only answer?"

I stayed silent, my thoughts swirling in my head. I thought back to the recent battles, to the brutality with which I had killed my enemies. Was that really me? Or was I losing my humanity, as Lira had suggested when she turned her back on me?

"I don't know," I finally whispered. "I don't know anymore..."

Kael sighed lightly and looked at the flames. "I'm not judging you, Alaric. I just want you to be aware of what's happening inside you. Because if you let this violence consume you... I'm afraid you'll lose yourself for good."

A heavy silence settled between us. The crackling of the fire and the soft murmur of the nearby river were the only sounds breaking the growing darkness. Night was falling, and with it, a subtle chill crept into the air. Yet inside me, everything was chaos. Doubts, fears, unanswered questions. Was I really becoming the monster Kael feared?

"Thank you," I finally said, my voice hoarse. "Thank you for looking out for me."

Kael smiled faintly. "Always. We watch out for each other, you know that."

I nodded, but the worry remained. I knew he was right. This violence, this relentless need to fight, wasn't natural for me. Or at least, it hadn't been before. Today, I felt different. Changed. And despite my efforts, part of me was slipping away. But as long as my friends were here, as long as I still had people to protect, I couldn't falter.

After a few minutes of silence, Kael stood up and offered his hand. "We should get some sleep. Tomorrow, we'll be back on the road."

I took his hand and got up, my muscles protesting slightly from the accumulated fatigue. Before joining the others, I cast one last glance at the flames. The same fire that, a few months ago, had warmed my soul, bringing me a sense of peace. Today, it seemed to reflect the blaze burning inside me, a storm I could no longer control.

Kael walked off to sit by the camp, ready to take his watch. I was about to join him, but a thought crossed my mind. A terrifying thought, but one that was impossible to ignore: if I really was becoming this monster, would my friends be able to bring me back? Or would I eventually become a threat to them as well?

I lay down on the ground, my gaze fixed on the stars twinkling above the canopy. Sleep refused to come, but the physical and mental exhaustion weighed heavily on my shoulders. Tomorrow would be another day, but the path ahead seemed more uncertain than ever.

And despite everything, one certainty remained: I had to protect those who depended on me, even if it meant losing myself along the way.

As I was about to close my eyes, I heard Kael's voice murmur through the night. "Alaric, no matter what happens, we'll always be here for you."

I didn't respond, but those words echoed long into the night.