So due to the article he had read the first thing was to get supplies. When he got his savings together he realized that there was nothing that he could afford. Seemed like working at a fast-food restaurant couldn't do much. So back to square one. There was no way he could ask his dad for money. He was a grown boy and he could provide for himself. He needed the money for more important things. Utility bills, groceries and maintenance. He couldn't just go 'Dad, I need money to buy stuff so I can show myself off to people in a not so appropriate way so that they can tip me as low as five cents'.
There was no way that he could do that. He could ask for extra hours. He could buy maybe a camera.
"Thinking about me handsome?" Beck approached.
"Beck!" he exclaimed.
That made the blonde halt in his steps. "Not the reply I was expecting. Something wrong?" after giving him an assessing look he came closer.
"Oh! No" he lied. "Nothing at all".
"Yeah, right" he replied sarcastically and sat beside him on the bench.
He had exclaimed that way because Beck was the answer to his problems. Beck was always saying if he needed anything he could just come to him. He had never really asked for anything from him. It was always like that for humans. You could assure someone that they could come to you in their time of need, but pride wouldn't let few people. He was part of those people.
Now there was the opportunity for him to actually ask for something.
"Beck…could you do me a favour?" he gulped nervous.
"No need to act so nervous Matt" he chuckled. "We're best friends. You can ask me for anything".
He nodded still nervous. He wanted to ask for money for supplies, but just asking for it just after Beck had suggested that he become a camboy. He couldn't just say it. He had to be evasive. If Beck found out what he wanted to do just because of a joke he made. He would lose his only friend and his respect. He was already losing his self-respect.
"Can I borrow…can…could you lend me some money?" he had been biting his lower lip the entire time, just to get the question out.
"Alright…"
"I swear I'll pay back when I can!" he yelled abruptly. He had to make that clear.
"Matt calm down" he placed a heavy hand on his shoulder that he almost fell. It was his stupid football strength. "It's okay. You can pay me back whenever you can".
He nodded relieved that Beck wasn't asking a lot of questions. It was a little unsettling. Was Beck this trusting? It wasn't a good habit. He could be taken advantage of. But in the end Beck was rich so he was naturally giving.
"You just have to do one thing for me" he smiled mischievous.
"Sure" he nodded too happy to decline. There was no one else he knew that could do this for him. Literally. "What is it?"
"A kiss" he grinned.
"Ex-what?!" he gasped in shock. He scooted away unknowingly.
"Yes" he slammed his hand between them that just made him jump higher. "Just a tiny kiss".
"If this is you being weird…"
"It's not" he chuckled laughing. "Just a kiss on the cheek" he tapped that part of his body with a finger.
"Beck" he groaned annoyed. "If this is a joke" he let the warning hang.
He closed his eyes. "Not a joke. Still waiting though". If Beck's eyes were open he would see how angry Matthew was.
"Out here in the courtyard? People will see!" he hissed.
"Then you better be quick" he quipped.
Matt felt like he didn't have a choice. He was already going to give him money and as weird as it was, all he wanted was a little kiss on his cheek. It was small compared to the price he wanted to ask for. He closed his eyes and told himself that he could do it.
Like a bull he went headfirst. He moved forward and the whole of his face made contact with the side of his face. It hurt him most. What was important was that his lips were able to touch his cheek. He rubbed his nose and forehead as he shifted back.
Beck opened his eyes still smiling. "Is that how you kiss people? I feel for them dude" he touched his cheek lightly. "But in the end a deal is a deal. So tell me how much do you need?"
Matt could only smile.
55555
He didn't know much about computers and sound and all that. He didn't have the time to start researching because he had done so earlier, but even being specific to a fault wasn't enough for Google. He went with what someone had written in his own article about the lights and the camera. Next he had to think of his schedule. Dad wasn't home most of the time so there was that. When he was home he was asleep so he could do that. He was certain that his dad would sleep through him talking.
He could balance school, his job and this. Next was the content. He was not going to watch other people's videos and use them as a point of reference. He was okay with reading and had learnt that it was a female dominated thing. There was also his intended audience. He didn't want to get naked for men. Yes the article said he couldn't be picky, but he didn't want to. It would be weird, awkward…but it seemed that the choice wasn't in his hands.
Also the content. He didn't want to get naked in front of anyone. He had always had his privacy so having to get naked in front of strangers and who would request things that he hadn't even done himself. He could just take a chance and do what he read girls did. Sit and flirt with strangers and get tipped without having to take his clothes off.
Maybe like a those girly guys. Twinks were the name. He hoped he was right. Older women liked young boys so they could be his targeted audience, so during the day he wouldn't be able to catch them because they would be at work. He would have to look at the clock and calculate time zones. Looking at it now it wasn't so hard. He could do it.
Beck didn't ask any questions when he told him the price. He had his equipment, he had his schedule ready, he had his set and with a little extra he was able to go shopping to get a new wardrobe. Not for him but for the persona he had to create. He had to become. So he thought that he would go simple. White shirt, everyone loved boxer briefs and some thigh highs. He didn't have that kink or anything, but a way to stand out. He also had to be careful. He didn't want this coming back to haunt him in the future. He got a black mask and just like that his identity was concealed. He hoped.
All that was left was for him to sign up and there were a lot to choose from. Imagine reading a review for adult entertainment websites. And with just that thought every misconception he had about doing this hit him like a freight train.
He looked at himself in his bathroom mirror and removed the mask. He dragged his feet all the way to the bed before plopping down and groaning into his pillows. Yes he was part of those people that said no matter the circumstance you shouldn't debase yourself. The truth now was no one really knew what everyone was going through. They didn't know that his mum was trying her hardest to ruin his dad and every day he just couldn't help not feeling like the problem. Feeling so useless, being a freeloader.
He turned over and looked to the ceiling. He had already bought everything and had things thought out. He couldn't turn back. He sat up and picked up the journal that he had written his idea for names. He could just go with Matthew but he was too scared that it might give him away. He had gone through his fair share of porn. Every teenager had done so and he had seen the stupid names that some had.
Masked Matt. It sounded nice to him. Maybe later he would change it. He would go with Masked Matt. All that was left was for him to sign up. He got his laptop from his nightstand and after a childish game he picked one of his top five and just like that he had signed up.
He was Masked Matt. A camboy. He couldn't believe he had taken that picture for his profile. Lying on his bed with his legs up and ankles crossed. He was thankful that no one would ever see this.
"Dad you're not alone" he said determined.