Something to Live For

Neve just sat there, on her knees, for the longest time.

Her eyes remained on her lap, with her hands in front of her, motionless.

What the hell could she do? How was a person supposed to react to this?

There had only been one other moment in Neve's life that put her in the same stunned position. But this time, it wasn't her mother's lifeless eyes staring back at her, but John's and Stella's.

Could she have moved earlier? Should she have stood behind the high-level players as they were attacked? Maybe, but the moment Thomas held that sword to her throat, Neve had been powerless to do anything.

That coping thought didn't help with the shame, though.

The low crackling of the campfires they'd made before all of this was all Neve could hear for a while, paired up with her slow, steady breathing.

Until she heard a cough up ahead.

"Ack!"

"Huh?" Neve instantly raised her head.

[Someone's alive?]

Instinctively, she got up from where she was and ran toward the source of that sound.

It was Carson.

The man coughed again, causing blood to come up and stain his chin and lips.

This time, Neve's instincts didn't fail her.

She immediately cast Healing Ground on him, attempting to see if she could do something about this.

The man just laughed, though.

"Neve? That you?" He asked weakly.

"You're still alive? Holy shit, you're- hey, save your strength, I'm already healing you."

"Ah, don't bother," he chuckled weakly, but it sounded more like choking than laughter. "Your spell's too weak."

"Y-Yes, but…"

"I'll bleed out long before that finishes healing me."

"B-But, you're still okay, you…"

"It's fine," Carson stated. He coughed, wheezing. "It's fine."

Despite what he said, Neve kept the spell up. It was her futile way of trying to make up for her inactivity earlier. It was meaningless, but she hoped it would bring him some small comfort.

"I'm sorry." Neve apologized quietly, with tears popping up in the corners of her eyes.

"Eh... not your fault." Carson shook his head slowly. "It's mine. Jinxed everything, huh?"

He tried laughing again, but all he ended up doing was coughing up blood.

"... Don't blame you," he said quietly. "I don't blame you."

As much as Neve wanted to believe that she simply couldn't.

"There has to have been something I could have done." Looking away, Neve choked up. "I'm a fucking healer, and I couldn't save anyone."

Carson didn't say anything for a while. Neve wondered if he'd died, but then his arms twitched.

Using what little strength he had, the man pulled up his inventory, conjuring the holographic screen horizontally, given that he was lying on the dirt.

"… Help."

Neve picked up his right hand and held it up for him, allowing him to tap one of the items with his index finger.

A folded-up sheet of paper appeared and fell on his torso, staining itself with his blood at the corners.

Neve picked it up to stop the blood from spreading across it.

"L... Letter," he said, coughing as the single word left his mouth. Carson swallowed, looking back at Neve. "Promise?"

"I… sure."

She hesitated at first, but even if she couldn't do what he was about to ask, she didn't want him to feel too disappointed in her.

"My s-" he coughed up more blood, "son... Try."

"I will."

"Good," Carson tried to laugh, but the sound was so weak it just came out like a pair of quick sighs. "Good… You…"

His hand, which Neve had still been holding, finally went limp.

Neve squeezed it.

[… Shit.] Neve thought as Carson died. In the end, John hadn't been the last of the high-levels to die. No, this tank had been pushing through the pain up until this moment, when it seemed he could finally let go. [I fucked up, I… How could I have…?]

And so, she resumed her sobbing.

A couple of her tears joined the blood on the letter, staining the paper further.

She did not go uninterrupted for long, though.

"Well, this all took a turn~"

Looking up, Neve found Tamira floating in the air. The snake was spinning slowly, in circles, but its eyes never left Neve's own.

"Fuck off," Neve spat out.

The snake ignored her. Looking around, the snake hissed a few times.

"It's funny," Tamira said. "Humans are all so unique, each one of you having thoughts, desires, and motivations of your own, and yet, you can be so predictable as well."

Furious to hear that, Neve stood up. She pulled her staff out of her inventory and aimed it at the snake.

Tamira looked entirely unbothered.

"Fuck you." Neve glared hard at her. "You knew this would happen. You literally did everything you could to make this happen."

"Of course," Tamira replied, floating closer to her. "That's what a test is, isn't it? Why are you so surprised?"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Did you truly believe that all the Final Challenge would amount to is asking you to eliminate monsters of slowly incremental difficulty?" Tamira giggled. She spun in the air a little faster, clearly enjoying herself. "The Unity Trials function like your videogames do, but how boring would it be to watch you progress through them if that's all you had to do? Of course, it's more than that!"

Borderline growling, Neve walked up closer. Tamira did not pull away.

"That's all we are to you, isn't it?" She asked. "Just a walking tv show or some shit? A source of entertainment?"

"Yep."

Tamira even did a little nod with her snake head to confirm that as much as she could.

"But," she added, "the premise of the Unity Trials has always been to, in the end, be beneficial to both sides."

"How can you say that? Don't you see everything that happened? How the fuck is this a benefit to anyone?"

"Because," Tamira answered quickly, "if humanity overcomes the Unity Trials, by the end of it you will be stronger, and closer, than ever before. That much is certain."

What could Neve even say in response to that? Having seen so much suffering caused at the hands of this stuff and then hearing that just left her baffled.

"Do you honestly think you are the first civilization to face the Unity Trials?" Tamira asked, tilting her head. "Of course, not!"

"… What?"

That statement stunned Neve for a different reason entirely.

"You are merely the current players~ Countless species have undergone these trials. You're standing in the grave of one such species right now."

"What do you mean?"

"You did not get a good look at the zombies you and the others faced earlier, did you?" Tamira asked, amused. "Those were zombies, but those were not *human* zombies."

So much was being said at this moment that Neve's mind could barely process it all. If Tamira had simply come here to try confusing her out of her sadness, she'd nearly succeeded.

Nearly.

"… Just fuck off, already," Neve said quietly, turning away from her.

"Hm… So, is that it, then?" Tamira asked, flying to Neve's side. "Everything that happened tonight, everything you just saw, produced nothing inside of you? No feeling other than despair?"

"I just saw dozens of good people get slaughtered by a pack of cowards. What exactly were you hoping I'd feel?" Neve asked, sitting on the dirt, with her back to a sickly, dying tree.

"Hm, well, let's see. Tell me, what did you feel when you saw John die at the hands of a scared, treacherous, and cowardly, low-level player?"

"…"

"What did you feel as you realized Carson was still alive, but that his life was hanging on by a thread only to finally die right in front of you?"

"..." Neve bit down on the insides of her cheeks.

Tamira flew in front of her, shrinking significantly so that she could float before her like a falling leaf.

"And, what did you feel now when I told you that all of this, your pain, their pain, everyone's pain, was purely for my superiors' entertainment? And, partly mine, of course."

Neve exhaled and her entire body shook.

"I felt angry," Neve responded, raising her head to look into Tamira's eyes. "I felt fucking furious. I felt…" Neve let go of her staff and wrapped her hands around Tamira's body. "I felt like taking you and squeezing the fucking life out of you."

"Hmph." Tamira tilted her head, narrowing her eyes at Neve.

Her body, though it was that of a snake, felt warm in Neve's hands.

"Anger is a powerful emotion," Tamira said softly. "Many things in humanity's history have been accomplished through it. Wars have been won out of a desire for revenge, and inventions have been made out of a deep spite for different aspects of everyday life. You now hold one of the most powerful feelings a human being has available to them in your heart and you plan on doing nothing with it?"

Neve's grip loosened.

"What exactly can I do?" Neve's fury slipped for a moment, and she felt so weak. "Honestly, I should have been the one that died. Not them. Not John, not Carson, not my p…"

A tear slipped out from her left eye, but Tamira stretched forward and wiped it away with her head.

"But you weren't," Tamira replied. "And now, here you sit, with a heart flooded with anger and a person who deserves to welcome it."

"What, you?" She said in between the tears.

"..."

Tamira blinked.

"Oh, no," she giggled. "Of course, not. Though, you could certainly argue I deserve to be choked to death for saying what I have said. My superiors would be slightly inconvenienced by that, but they'd find another assistant for you if you would like there to be a replacement."

"Then… who?" Neve asked, and her crying ceased for a moment.

"The one responsible for all of this," Tamira answered. Neve's eyes widened. "Surely, you will not just let him get away with everything?"

Neve looked away.

"I'm just a healer," she argued. "I can't even fight. What could I-"

"And that boy from earlier was just a level 8 assassin," Tamira cut her off. "One who only knew a single skill. {Into the Shadows}, a skill that allows him to turn invisible for 2 seconds, and has a 1-minute cooldown. A man whose only weapons were two rusty daggers and a sword of the same quality. And yet, he caused all of this. It's incredible what a human can do when they're motivated, isn't it?"

The reminder of what Thomas had done made Neve ball her hands up into fists. That anger Tamira mentioned was absolutely there, simmering under the surface of her skin.

"What the hell are you doing? Why are you even telling me any of this? Are you trying to motivate me?" Neve asked with a humorless laugh. "You got what you wanted," Neve stated. "We killed each other. Thomas is in way over his head, so he's probably going to get himself killed too, and everyone who helped with all of this."

"And, if he doesn't?" Tamira asked.

Neve paused.

"I'll tell you what'll happen," she continued. "He will succeed, finish the Final Challenge, and be welcomed back into regular society as a hero. One of the greatest heroes to have ever lived. No one outside will ever know about the massacre he caused today, and his subordinates will take that secret to their graves. And…"

Tamira moved closer.

"Carson's son will grow up thinking his father was just too weak, unlike Thomas, who cleared the Final Challenge and proved himself to be strong. Is that what you want?"

The letter Carson had given to her felt like it weight as much as a bar of gold at that moment. Neve looked down at it.

"No…" She said quietly.

"Then, I ask again. This anger you hold in your heart, what do you want to do with it?"

Neve opened her mouth to speak. Nothing came out for a couple of seconds.

Then, slowly, she said:

"I want to kill that son of a bitch."

"Heh," Tamira pulled back. "Then, I say, you should give that a try."

The snake floated back a short distance, spinning.

"A word of advice, forging ahead and trying to catch up to Thomas is suicide. They've already made it to the next floor. You're alone now, with no one to help you. Even though the enemies in this place scale with your level, they will overwhelm you with their numbers just like the players did here. Whatever plan you make, I would recommend you do not go with that."

"Right... So, what can I do?" Neve asked, with fire in her voice. "What-"

"That is for you to decide," Tamira said. "All I can do is talk to you. And, I will still be able to do so, should you want me to. Oh, and, to answer your earlier question, as to why I am trying to motivate you..."

Tamira grew into her normal size as she flew up slightly.

"I... don't know," she admitted. "I sincerely don't. Perhaps it's out of boredom. Seeing you kill the low-level players would be fun. Or, maybe I just want to see a different conclusion. So many of these attempts from your kind have gone the same way, it would be nice to get SOME variance. But, it doesn't matter, you know why?" She giggled, spinning in the air. "Because all that matters is that you produced a feeling in me. And, I took that feeling that was in my heart and I acted on it. That is all I, a human, or anyone else can do."

Her form began to fade.

"Good luck, Neve. You will certainly need it."

And with that, she was gone.

Once again, Neve was left with nothing but the crackling of a small campfire, and dozens of corpses, to keep her company.

However, now, there was something else here.

Something else was within her.

A deep, potent rage, aimed at one person.

"… He has to pay," Neve muttered through gritted teeth. "He has to pay. I don't care if humanity gets their break, or if his followers all have to die first before I can get to him, but he *has* to pay for what he's done."

[And...] She looked down at the letter. [I need to try to get this to Carson's son. He should know how strong his dad was.]

"That's right," Neve said quietly. "I can't die yet. I can't die yet."