Designated driver

Ethan's POV

It's been a week since Kris left and I got to say I'm handling it quite nicely. I've only visited her three times, every day.

And as for Rodney I really haven't been messing with him all week. I totally wasn't the one who cut a hole in the side of his bed, at least the part that faces the headboard and put horse shit in it. Ok fine I'll admit to coming up with the idea but Hermes handled the execution.

And I totally wasn't the one who defaced that statue of himself Rodney has in the foyer of his mansion right underneath the gigantic painting of him. In my defense it was all pretty unbelievable since I'm pretty sure Rodney isn't as beautiful as the statue and painting portray. I mean what is the world coming to if art also has filters now.

In this case as well all I did was produce the idea. It was the witches that created a spell that would make the micropenis I made out of mud to spew pee all day long. I had a long laugh watching it spew pee all over Rodney and his lackey when they tried to remove it.

And I was just exploring my artistic side when I painted a moustache on the painting.

After a week of messing with Rodney I was quite tired as I sat on the chair in Kris's room watching her sleep at 6:30am. She wakes up a few minutes later as I get her a cup of coffee.

"You know you don't have to watch over me now, Rodney will keep me safe and thanks for the coffee although you shouldn't have" she says as she takes a sip of the hot coffee.

"Well first of all, I'm here to keep you safe from Rodney. and as for the coffee, I kind of had to considering the fact that I poured a whole bunch of laxatives into the coffee pot downstairs and then glued all the bathroom doors shut. Also I might have promised some newspapers non-exclusive rights to photos of your fiance taking a dump in a flowerpot" I say to her which causes her to spit out the coffee in her mouth in a spray.

"Well that I have to see. Come on let's go" she says with a chuckle as she puts on her robe.

" Could've sworn that this robe was shorter" she murmurs to herself as we come out of the door. I seriously don't see anything wrong with adding 21 inches to her robe. We pad downstairs with our hands over our mouths to stifle our laughter. We get to the bottom to see Rodney taking a dump in a gigantic pot while his lackey tries to hold back the paparazzi taking pictures of him.

Kris and I stay hidden as we laugh at Rodney's situation. I look at my watch and immediately remember that I have a lunch date with Maria by 12 so with a kiss to the cheek and a hug I leave Kris with the promise of seeing each other later in the day.

I teleport home to find Kat still sleeping so I walk around the side of the bed and place a kiss on her cheek, gently tucking her luscious black locks behind her ear. She snorts and rolls over pressing her face even further into the pillow as her lips part and drool falls out. I chuckle to myself as I undress and step into the shower.

As the water washes over me I hear the door open and a moment later two familiar arms snake their way around my waist as an equally familiar head of brown hair presses into my back.

"Well good morning beautiful" I say as I look over my shoulder to see Kat looking up at me.

" You know you're eventually going to have to stop going to check on your sister" she says as she pours shampoo on my head and runs her hands through it.

I turn around to face her and use the sponge in my hand to scrub her body as with a chuckle I reply " If I don't, who will?"

" Well soon enough that'll have to stop so that we can actually get started on the mission that brought us here in the first place" she says with a smile.

I quickly fix it with a lie as I say " Well as for now the subject is safe but we'll be called in soon enough. Until then I just want to make love to you all day" and then I place a quick kiss on her lips.

As I try to pull away she grabs my head and kisses me again before saying " We can get started on that right now" and then she kisses me as her hand strokes my member which has been hard ever since I saw her this morning.

"As much as I'd love to leave a permanent imprint of my dick in-between your legs, I do have to get to lunch with Maria in about three hours.." I say as I help her rinse her hair.

" I understand" she says as she turns away from me and continues to rinse her body.

" You didn't let me finish" I say as I turn her right back around " I do have to get to lunch with Maria in three hours so we better be quick" I continue as a smile forms on her face before she jumps up and wraps her legs around me while smashing her lips to mine.

"I love you K" I say as she sinks down onto my member and starts groaning.

" I love you too Ethan" she moans out as we start to move faster.

'these are going to be the best three hours of my life' I think to myself as I bury my head into her neck.

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Three hours and many orgasms later I sit across from Maria as we eat lunch at Burger King.

"I'm really glad we did this" Maria says with a smile as she looks into my eyes.

" Me too" I reply as I pick up a fry and chuck it into my mouth.

"But I don't understand why she had to come along" she says as we turn to the 6 year old in the black gown with purple fairy wing on her back. The front of her dress stained with what I believe is a mixture of ketchup and milkshake.

"Well princess Kelly kind of needs a babysitter to watch her till Kris gets here" I say with a chuckle as Kelly flashes a smile at me.

"Oh right I totally forgot about that. So if Kris is coming down do I still need to cancel our tickets to that new nightclub, carbon??" She asks as we continue to stuff down our meals

" No don't cancel them, we haven't hung out together in a while and I'd feel really happy if we'd just let loose tonight" I reply.

We finish up our meals pretty early and some minutes later Kris pulls up in my car and steps out walking over to the table we're seated at.

"Your highness, your carraige awaits" she says as she bows in her gigantic winter jacket and boots with skinny jeans.

"Thanks for doing this Kris" I say as I stand up to hug her.

" It's my pleasure. I kind of needed a break from Rodney after all the laxatives you gave him. We tried to move him away from the pot but it wasn't pretty so we just moved him with the pot. He's making a few calls to buy the photos back so I think he'll be alright" she says as she hugs Maria and then Kelly.

" What's a lacksatif Kris?" Kelly asks in a cute voice as she tugs on the sleeve of Kris's jacket repeatedly.

" It's something I hope you never cross paths with" Kris says as she lifts Kelly off the floor and says her goodbyes before leaving.

Maria and I take a cab to her house where she changes and 7 hours and a long car ride later we pull up in front of carbon. The music coming from inside already causing a migraine to form. Well nothing a few shots of tequila won't solve.

Maria and I go in and head straight to the bar where we decide to drink and text each other instead of trying to talk over the music. I tried but it literally feels like the owner of the club took the words 'surround sound' to mean blast the music from everywhere.

Somewhere around 12 o'clock I start to feel my vision blur so I text my emergency contact to come pick us up.

At 3 o'clock as Maria and I try and fail once again to pick up someone for Maria due to her always finding faults in everyone I've suggested, I start to feel a buzz in my pants so I tap Maria and we stumble outside to the limo and the sleek black car waiting for us.

I help Maria to the limo that we came in. And then I climb into the sports car in front of me and as if heavily sedated I immediately collapse and start to drift off.

As I fall asleep I feel a slight kiss placed on my lips that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

"I love you K" I murmur as I close my eyes with visions of the brown haired girl in the driver's seat plaguing my dreams.