Chapter 10: The Bad News

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Kanto → Gyms → Celadon

Topic: Everything about Celadon's grass-type gym

Original Poster: League_Account_Official (Bot)

(Showing page 112/124)

►SkyKing (Verified Youngster)

Why is an oddish so hard to beat? It's not like the gym leader is paid by how unfair he makes his challenge, right? No way is it ok for me to have lost against an oddish after a month of training. My pidgey is still coughing up poison spores, completely unfair. I'm filing a complaint.

►Grassthatbendsinthewind (Verified non-Gym.Leader)

The name of the gym leader is Tadghsiobhan, why is it so hard to use it? Also, again, mods, why is it that this is the only Kanto Gym Thread named after the city not after the name of the gym leader?

►Cissmyzss

@Grassthat bendsinthewind

Man will you just leave it already. Every single one of the pages of this 124 has at least one of your complaints about how the Celadon gym leader should be referred to by name. How are you not banned yet, literally adding nothing to the discussion.

@SkyKing

You think the first badge challenge is hard to beat? Literally, just dodge and hit the blasted onion with an attack twice and it falls over. The only thing it's good at is sporing up its surroundings and dodging. The second badge is when things get really tough. Toxic spikes into sunny day from the first mon, then growth and synthesis from the second one. The joke amongst trainers is that Kanto has two poison-type gyms.

►Hesss (Verified Trainer)

God, I still remember my young naïve self challenging the Celadon gym for the seventh badge. I was not ready for that Tangela, venusaur and bellossom combo. Now I've retired to the city and I like going to see the matches, but the air quality is bad. I do enjoy seeing unprepared trainer's crying at seeing their Pokemon fall unconscious from poison too much to not go though.

►Bug-Meister

@SkyKing

Release your pidgey and catch a Metapod. They have automatic shed skin, which means it will shrug off all the spore effects.

►Metapod master race (Verified Trainer)

@bug-Meister

What he said, basically. Metapod is objectively the best 0-tier Pokemon available to youngsters. It's the only evolution, a no-brainer really. Why do you think so many youngsters have Metapods? It's because they know what's up.

►Scrounger

I thought it was because they forgot to ask for an ever-stone? Please stop telling people to release their mons and to catch a Metapod. Literal career ending decision right there.

Kanto → Gyms → Kong

Topic: Everything about Saffron's fighting-type gym

Original Poster: League_Account_Official (Bot)

(Showing page 121/124)

►Lil_Mouse (Verified Youngster)

My friend just beat Kong with a Rattata! This shows that anything is possible

►Hesss (Verified Trainer)

I snorted water out of my nose watching that match online. Had to check if you were bullshitting or not.

►King of the skies (Verified Youngster)

No way.

►Hitorhit (Verified Trainer)

That taunting was definitely cheating, Kong would never lose to a Rattata if there weren't some dirty tricks involved.

►Fletchgod (Verified Trainer)

What the fuck did I just watch

►Dissmypokeanddie (Verified Ace-Trainer)

@Hitorhit

I think that taking advantage of an opponent's weak point, which a mankey's anger definitely is, is an elegant way of surmounting the type-disadvantage. It's really the only Pokemon it would have worked on, so maybe it's a bit of a cheap way of winning the badge, but good on him for managing. Youngster program needs all the good press it can get.

►Friendly Ghost (Verified Youngster)

Nobody wanted to bet in the end… At least Kong coughed up some cash. Last time I visit this thread since I never need to enter that smelly loser-gym again. They're going to lose their license anyway, so what's the point of caring about it, lmao.

@Hitorhit

Sucks to suck, sucker

►Charilard (Verified trainer)

@Friendly Ghost

What do you mean by losing their license? Sure Kong seemed triggered at the loss, but he didn't do anything weird to merit that.

►King rock magikarp

A lot of the people from the gym kinda behave like bullies… Made that experience a few years ago when I got my badge. Kong is also probably the weakest gym-leader in Kanto right now? His ace rankings are lower than Flint's and that's saying something.

Several people are typing…

Typing → Bug → Metapod

Topic: Discuss the supremacy of Metapod as a Pokemon

Original Poster: Metapod master race (Verified Trainer)

Post stickied by OP:

Metapod match-ups chart

Strong against: Poison-Types (shed-skin), Grass-Types (bug-type), Dragon-Types (they underestimate you), Fighting-Types (They underestimate you), Rock-Types (too slow to dodge the string-shot), Steel-Types (too slow to dodge the string-shot), Fire-types (block ranged attacks with String Shot), Electric types (block ranged attacks with String Shot (just be careful to dissolve connection)), Flying-Types (String Shot messes up wings), Dark-Types (they are cowardly and are afraid of Metapod), Psychic-Types (type advantage)

Neutral: Normal-Types, Ice-Types

Weak too: Ghost-types (can't reasonably hit them; unfair), Water-Types (can't breathe underwater)

Showing page (2/2)

► Metapod master race (Verified Trainer)

My Metapod recently managed to block an ember attack with a String Shot. Turns out that just a small piece of the material burns up when meeting a fire attack and makes it waste its TE and kinetic force at impact. Updating the typing chart to show that Metapod is also strong against fire-types

►Bug-Meister

I recently beat an ace-trainer with my custom-built team of six Metapods, he just gg'ed after I sent out my third one! Can't handle the bants, lol!

►Friendly Ghost (Verified Youngster)

How fast can a Metapod digest an everstone?

► Metapod master race (Verified Trainer)

@Friendly Ghost

That's the best part! It can't! It's the method I use to prevent mine from evolving. It makes sense when you think about it, Metapod are immobile, so they can't scavenge for food. It has no need for gastric acid. It's just a short transitory stage between shittypie and shittyfree. Metamorphosis only lasts around three days, which is why it's so hard to find a Metapod in the wild.

Point is, they don't have digestive tracks with any gastric acids which could slowly degrade the everstone, which means that a Metapod with an everstone will never evolve. It's why they're so superior to kakuna, those have poison-type energy gestating in their body, which slowly destroys the ever-stone. Takes about six months I think.

Can't really surgically remove it either, since the insides of a Metapod are very fragile, just a light internal injury can cripple them. It's why they developed such a hard exterior and learn the move Harden. It's a survival strategy.

It's thus important to only give an everstone to a Metapod if it wants to stay in its glorious form forever.

►Friendly Ghost (Verified Youngster)

Thanks…

► Metapod master race (Verified Trainer)

You're welcome ; get your hard on!

-/-

A hand gently laid itself on his shoulder and Joey looked up from the forums to see that Nurse Joy had snuck up behind him.

The woman nodded towards the corridor he'd previously come out of, and he followed her back there, where he was led into a more private consultation office. It looked like the average doctor's office from his last world, if one ignored the large poster of all 145 Kanto Pokemon and the Chansey standing in the corner. Other than that there was also an older man with wispy grey hair present, sitting behind the doctor's desk. Nurse Joy went to him to sit at the desk as well, while Joey sat in front of them.

The two adults shared a look, seemingly unsure how to start the conversation. So Joey decided to help them out.

"Is Metapod alright?" he asked.

Nurse Joy nodded with a sad smile. "Yes, I already got the full story from head ranger Marron and I can confidently say that Metapod will make a full recovery. We'll only need to keep her overnight for observation, then she's all yours. The issue is rather…" She turned to the other man.

"I'm Doctor Heys," the old man introduced himself. "Expert on bug-type Pokemon. You see, while your Metapod will survive the wounds and make a full recovery, the issue is the Everstone she ate," he said slowly.

"Metapod doesn't have gastric acid, so it can't degrade it. Surgery is too risky due to their fragile internal organs. It's stuck that way," Joey said with a sigh, but while Doctor Heys looked at him in surprise, he ended up shaking his head.

Joey was for once glad that the internet people had lied to him and looked expectantly at the man.

"While we definitely cannot extract the Everstone with surgery, and, indeed, Metapod doesn't have gastric acid, but rather just a food to String Shot and exterior Hardening organ. There are treatments available," he said. "What we need to know, however, is if you plan on keeping the Metapod. If you're not, then you don't have decision rights over its health as its trainer."

"What happens to it if I don't want her?" Joey asked curiously.

"We will implement the treatment we consider to make the most sense and Metapod will spend that time in a sanctuary before being released in the wild. I don't know why you wouldn't want her though, considering her prodigious size," the doctor said coldly. "33% larger than the average. Incredibly tough shell. Already knows Bug Bite."

"It depends on what Metapod wants," Joey interjected. "If she wants to stay a Metapod, we don't have to go through with the treatment at all. If she doesn't want me as a trainer, there's no need to involve me. What I'm trying to say is that we should go ask her."

"That's very considerate of you, Jonathan," Nurse Joy said with a smile as she stood up and glanced at the doctor. "We can go now, no?" she asked, and the older man seemed to agree as he stood up as well. They all moved, Chansey included, into the next room, where Metapod was lying on a hospital bed with a drip attached through a long needle jabbed through a little line where its carapace was weaker.

"Metapooodd," it greeted weekly once it saw the three humans step to its bedside from its periphery vision.

"First of all," Joey said, stepping forward. "I want to thank you for saving my ass. Could be that I'd be dead without you, so thanks for that. I owe you my life. Secondly, I want to ask you if you want me to be your trainer. I had to catch you to transport you here, but that doesn't mean we have to stay bonded like that. If you want to be free, you can be free. If you want to be my Pokemon, you can be my Pokemon. You already know that me and Rattata work hard, and play hard. Going all the way to the top, conference, baby. If you joined you'd get the same raw deal. Long hours, tough battles, lots of losses. But, you'd never have to worry about food, sanctuary, or medical services. What do you think, wanna be part of team Joey?" he asked, but in all honesty, wasn't quite sure what he wanted himself.

He potentially owed Metapod his life, so if she wanted to cash that in for a free ride to the championship then so be it. She'd get trained as hard as all the others. But at the end of the day, if Metapod didn't want that, then he wasn't willing to force it. He wanted a team of ambitious hard workers. That was that.

"Metapodddd," the bug-type groaned and some tears exited from her large eyes.

Joey noticed the issue that he didn't understand poke-speech and that Metapod couldn't nod or shake her head. "Say your name once for yes, twice for no," he instructed. "Do you want to be on my team?"

"Metapod!" she said loudly. A happy lilt to the voice.

"Good, welcome to the squad. You'll have to stay at the Pokecentre for the night, training starts right after."

A slap hit the back of his head and he nodded absentmindedly.

"Training starts when you're cleared for training by Nurse Joy. Second question, do you want to evolve, or not?" he asked.

"Metapod!" was the answer. So, a yes.

He turned to the two adults. "So what are the treatment options?" he asked, noting that Metapod was also attentively listening in.

Doctor Heys coughed into his hand, clearing his throat. "Well, we know from the Weedle line that poison TE can degrade the Everstone. Normally the Caterpie line doesn't develop any poison-type moves until its final evolution, but that doesn't mean that a Metapod can't learn to channel poison TE. I'd have to consult a poison-type expert on what the best way would be to train Metapod, but that's the only issue really."

"Couldn't a more experienced poison-type use their energy to help degrade the stone externally, I imagine it would be faster," Joey asked.

The doctor shook his head. "Unfortunately Metapod is not suited enough for poison TE that the species would accept transfers. The only energy safe enough is their own."

"So if I understand correctly, we teach Metapod how to use poison-type energy and then help her train her expression of that energy?" he double-checked and got a nod in return.

"We would have to schedule some appointments with a poison-type specialist to help train it. I assume you're not familiar enough with the energy to do the fine-tuning yourself," the doctor stated, rather than asked.

Joey wasn't afraid of admitting his weaknesses. "No, I'm not," he said as he shook his head. "How long would it take? The degradation?"

"Depends, really. Could be a year, could be two. Is your Metapod suited for poison TE, or not? It's also a question of hard work."

"All right," Joey said. "Let's do this."

-/-

Private message history with: Metapod master race (Verified Trainer)

Friendly Ghost (Verified Youngster):

Ok, so my Metapod accidentally swallowed an Everstone. Would you be willing to give me some tips on how to train it?

BTW, it can degrade the stone over time with poison TE, which it can learn, with some difficulty.

Metapod master race (Verified Trainer):

Awww, poor thing. Sure, I'll help. Maybe it won't even want to evolve after all this, Metapod are really op, you know?

Anyway, your bread and butter will be String Shot.

String Shot.

String Shot.

String Shot.

…

…

…

…

…

Friendly Ghost (Verified Youngster):

Thanks, I'll keep that in mind.

Metapod master race (Verified Trainer):

Do tell me when you have a gym-battle, would love to see it in action myself.

Friendly Ghost (Verified Youngster):

Sure, but can't you watch one of your own replays?

Metapod master race (Verified Trainer):

Every Metapod trainer's utilizes the Pokemon's immense potential in a different way. There's as many ways to train a Metapod as there are Pokemon in the world, so do be creative, even as you implement the tips I gave you.

Still working on my first badge, anyway.

-/-

"Joey, are you alright?" Theresa asked once he'd entered the orphanage, after getting Rattata some oran berries for his amazing performance against the Arbok.

The youngster gave his primary caretaker a queer look. "Yeah, of course. Why wouldn't I be?" he asked, slightly confused as to the worried expression on the woman's face.

"I got a call from a ranger, informing me, as your legal guardian, that you were attacked by a wild Pokemon," she explained as she came over to pat him up and down, apparently not believing his words that he was ok.

"I hope they also told you I was alive when they did that," Joey muttered darkly. "I didn't carry a single scratch from that encounter." He hadn't been planning on telling Theresa about the Arbok, so he was a bit salty that the choice had been taken away from him.

Adults generally tended to worry too much about their wards, and Joey wasn't a child in the first place anyway. He could take care of himself. Theresa could honestly have used the time better to take care of the other orphans, who actually had troubled psyches. Some of them were likely more affected by one of their classmates calling them an orphan than Joey was from almost dying.

It happened, really. And as any adult who'd lived a certain amount of years, you got used to having some near-death experiences in your history. Mostly car-related in his case, one shooting that he'd very nearly escaped and one bad case of a bacterial infection that he'd almost noticed too late.

Quite frankly, adding 'near-death by a gigantic magic snake,' on that list rather spiced it up in his opinion.

Also, you tended to become more blasé about death once you'd experienced it once before. Quite frankly if all deaths ended up in the person being reborn in their favourite fictional world, then the whole thing was a bit overdramatised.

"I'm ok," he repeated again after Theresa had still not let go of him. He shook the woman off, extraditing himself from the tight hug he'd suddenly been locked into. "I'm just not gonna go to train out for a while, honestly, you should see the other guy," he tried to joke.

"It's a good idea, to stay in the city for a bit. You did start going out very early," Theresa said with a sigh and adjusted her red hair behind her ears so that it framed her ears properly. Some wetness was glistening in her eyes.

This was perhaps one of his favourite things about being a child. When people started almost crying around him, or feeling sad in general. It wasn't his responsibility to improve their mood. He could just play oblivious and let them sort out their own feelings. He understood perfectly well that some people got scared, or anxious, or whatever, but quite frankly, it wasn't his problem and dealing with those things drained him faster than a succubus that had taken some high-grade aphrodisiacs.

Considering how much he enjoyed the sheer lack of responsibility and need to adjust to other people's lives, Joey wasn't quite sure if he would ever be able to be in a relationship again. Or even share a living space for that matter.

"You could spend your time better worrying about the other kids. I'm going to be smacking around the Elite Four in like five years. The other ones will be lucky if they don't accidentally drink bleach instead of orange juice for breakfast one day," he said and walked past Theresa and into the building. He knew he was being short, but with being a trainer now he had less free time than before and was feeling quite drained.

What he'd said had been true nonetheless, however. Theresa really could spend her time better than worrying about Joey. The other kids needed it more. His theory was that she gravitated towards him because if she knew it or not, he was the only adult that she lived with.

"Take care," the woman whispered, watching him leave.

Joey didn't look back. He had a training plan to devise. To train up a Metapod, and to beat the grass-type gym. The two goals weren't really mutually exclusive, and he barely had a month. It was time to grind.