The beginning

It was Christmas Eve, the day before the festivity. The city and its denizens were busy preparing for the celebration. The streets were busy, and the people were ecstatic. You could feel the excitement in the air, everybody was looking forward to Christmas.

And there is me

Enjoyment? No!

Happiness? No!

And a bad day? Very much

"Hello, this is from Dhalina Financial Corporation, am I speaking to Mr Sanchez" 

There was no reply for some time, then a hoarse voice answered "...Yes, this is Sanchez speaking"

Haaaa...not another one. I mentally complained,

"I am calling you to inform you that next Friday will be the last date to pay back the loan you took from us," I said with a monotone voice I honed throughout the years.

"Hahaha yes I haven't forgotten, Haa '' he answered with a flustered laugh. That kind of laugh was very familiar to me. The laugh of the desperate.

"I see, can we expect full payment by Friday then" 

"About that, is there any chance you can extend the term, right now I am in a rough situation I cannot pay you back,"

I rubbed my eyes with a sigh "Sir, You have been given an extension of time to pay the money before this...twice!"

"Yes, I know that but please try to understand"

"Sir I can understand but I cannot give you an extension"

"Please, all I am asking for is another year. I will pay all the money upfront" the guy pleaded in a stuttering tone

"I'm sorry sir if you can't pay the money by the due date, your house will be foreclosed, you have given a warning beforehand!"

"Please, just a year would be enough"

"We will be expecting you to pay the amount by Friday, have a nice day sir"

"No! You don't understand, I have sick wi-"

Beep...Beep

I hung up the phone before he can complete the sentence, well there is no reason for me to let him finish the sentence, I know what they are gonna say...…..most of the time it will be their difficulties and suffering, rarely some threats.

And the annoying part is that these people don't understand that I can't do anything about their grievances. All I am is an employee who is tasked with the inquiry department, a small fish in a big ocean. 

Many of these are just guilty traps, some might be genuine. But at this point, I have become numb to both of them,  

I looked at the phone on the table, I guess that is two guys that are having a bad day

After registering the call in the log, I switched off my office laptop and packed it in my bag then I stood up, grabbed the coat I hung on the door and walked to the exit door.

"I wish you have a good Christmas Mr Halton" I was greeted by a security guard at the door

Giving him a polite nod "you too jack, enjoy your Christmas" 

I walked through the busy streets, checking the time "5:45 huh, I might have some time" I muttered,  

I walked forward with a fixed destination in mind, it took me some time to reach the destination, but it would have taken less time if I took my bike, but I decided not to

Strolling through the streets gives me time to calm down, to collect my disordered thoughts, it's soothing in some ways

I was now at a Park that was situated in a corner of the city, not too far from my workplace so I visited this place once in a while. The park was by no means a grand built and neither does not it have any kind of attraction other than its garden but it has a great view of the seaside from here.

Finding an empty seat near a large tree, facing the calm sea and setting sun on the horizon I let out a tired sigh.

'At last peace'

The sun was bright red which illuminated the motionless sea giving it an appearance of blood, the birds that fly toward the Sun trying to reach there before the last light dies out, and the cold air that Permeated the atmosphere, the silence prevailed.

I took a moment to enjoy these feelings as long as I could. After a while, I took a large book and a few colour pencils from the bag. choosing the right pencil and matching colour. I tried to capture the moment in my book as perfectly as I could.

Of course, it had flaws but it was a 'try'.

Red for the sun

Red with a tint of yellow for the sea

And a little bit of black for the shading

In my pursuit to etch the dazzling scenery into the paper, I seemed to have focused on it more deeply than I thought because by the time I reconnected to the real world there was an old man in his 80s sitting beside me, watching my attempt at drawing with genuine interest...…. His face was… a little too close, defiling the sacred barrier of my private space.

Which startled me a little, that in return made the old man raise his head to seek the reason why my fingers suddenly stopped scribbling, both of our eyes met, and for a moment both of us didn't move.

With an awkward cough, the old man moved to make a comfortable space between us, "sorry, that is a good illustration" he complimented in an attempt to break the awkwardness.

My eyes were still sharp, many scenarios went through my head but in the end, I decided to drop them. He has already apologised, so it would be rude and childish of me to pursue the matter.

"It is a beautiful view, I just have good drawing material," I said with a polite smile, returning to scribbling, although not as focused as before.

Seeing that I have grabbed the olive branch he held out the old man let out a sigh of relief "Yes!, yes the view is great, especially In this part of the city filled with places with great scenery, I tell ya"

"I see" I knew that earlier because I was familiar with every corner of this city. Not because of my job or anything, it's just that strolling is a habit of mine, and I rarely have returned to a place again after seeing it once and among every place in this city this place is my favourite and the only place that returned a second time and a third time and fourth time.... You get what I am saying.

"Even so we cannot dump all the credits of drawing such a good art to the scenery alone, you need to be a good artist for it"

I raised my eyebrow at the compliment, it's been some time since I have heard a compliment on my art skills, that is why my first response was to shake my head in denial

"I am not good, just experienced"

"Are you an aspiring artist?"

"...No, I just had an interest in it when I was a child"

My answer was hesitant and annoyingly the old man seemed to catch on to it, but he decided to drop the subject.

An unexpected move but a welcoming one

"You don't seem to be from this city kid, where are you from?" The old man again asked.

"Why should I tell you that?"  I asked with a frown

"Don't be like that, I am trying to make a conversation and if by any chance you become famous as an artist then I can brag about how I spent my time talking to you once, so go along with this old man's plea will yah"

Shaking my head I replied "I am not going to be a famous artist and I am from the western part of daboes county"

My answer seemed to be a surprise to the old man "you are far…far away from your home, boy" he said 

"I got a promising job here"

"Even so… isn't it still too far"

"My job, it pays well"

"Still isn't tomorrow Christmas, how can you reach your home to-....."

"My job requires commitment, so I am not going," I said forcefully, cutting off his sentence.

The old man looked at me with mixed emotions "I don't know what are you going through in your job, but you need your loved one-"

"I don't have any problem, and I don't know what you are talking about '' I said, a little assertively.

Hearing my reply he let out a tired sigh, seemly not want to annoy me any further, he stood up with help on his cane easily, for an old man he was certainly a healthy person "You should go, home kid, nobody should spend their Christmas alone"

With the last parting advice, he walked away. I watched his trailing back until it disappeared in a distant turn.

True to what they say, the older you get the wiser you become. He was very close, very

I took my phone from my pocket and dialled an all-familiar number, I was hesitant, pondering

Should I?

'No, you shouldn't

It will be a try

'You will get disappointed'

Maybe I should call her, maybe the old man was a sign

My mind was in a battle, at last, I decided to do it, try to take the first step

*Tring Tring

*Tring Tring

*Tring-    "Hello this is Halton residence, who am I talking to?" A mature feminine voice answered.

"It's me, mom"

"Ohhh it's you, Ryan, what is it?"

"Nothing, I just thought I would call you to know how you are," I replied.

"I am fine, everybody is fine thanks to god's grace," she said. I flinched although it's not the same, the way she talks it's very similar to how I talk to people when I want the conversation just to be over.

"I see, mom it's just that..... it.... " I could not find words, I don't want to do this. My mind was yelling that there would only be disappointment waiting for me. But in the end, As I decided earlier, I will take a small step. "If I apply now, I can get a few weeks to break. So I thought I could home for a few days and spend Christmas with you guys-"

"Haaaaa" My words were cut off by a sigh filled with disappointment, my heart churned "Ryan are you serious? Your father worked very hard to get you that job and if it was not for John who still thinks that he owes your father a debt you would have been replaced by now...."

"But mom-

"No buts Ryan, you know that you won't get a good job anywhere else with your qualifications right, well it's not like you have any qualifications, all you have is a certificate showing you can Draw better than others which won't get you a job–"

"Mom"

"If you had listened to me a try to focus on a degree instead of focus on your God-forsaken waste of ski-"

"Mom I was not planning on coming, I just thought about it and just asked, leave that matter aside tell me how is Jane? And I had sent her a gift. Did she like it?"  My attempt to change the subject was fast and very fluid thanks to the experience I had in this.

"Ahhh it arrived last week, a blue frock was it, she threw it away, saying she didn't like the colour"

My heart sank at the sudden revelation, that was something I bought with a lot of.... "but she said….I thought blue was her favourite colour" 

"She is a growing woman Ryan, women's minds and tastes change faster than you think" my mother answered with an indifferent tone

"Where is she?"

"She is with Armin, they have both gone outside to see the new park they created in the city centre"

A dark feeling started to swell up inside me hearing the name "Armin? Armin is home?"

"Yes, you know your brother is busy with his work, seems like being called a genius doctor seem to have its drawbacks, I haven't seen him in the past month even once, so I put my foot down and asked him to come home during Christmas, after all, Christmas should be spent with family"

And that was it. 

Beep….Beep….

I hung up the phone. My heart wrenched with anger, my lips trembled with uncontrollable emotion, my mind was in a turmoil of feelings and my eyes were filled with tears that threatened to overflow.

"So much for the try", I muttered with a hoarse tone. She was not trying to hide it anymore these days. I just sat there staring at the setting sun. By now the sun almost disappeared behind the sea and darkness started to slowly claim the sky.

Suddenly an enticing thought went through my mind. I stood up and walked to the edge where the sea and land met. I looked down at the sea, although it looked serene and calm. This is still a sea,  the depth and the high current under these calm surfaces are enough to snuff out human life.

'Would they care'

'Why don't you jump and find out'

My eyes never left the sea, each moment passing the small ripples in the water looked like hands that reached out for a warm embrace, and the sounds of waves whistled like a soothing lullaby. I felt like It was calling to me promising me that it would help me run away.

'But why should I end my life for a family that does not even care for me'

'Jump and all of the problems in this life will go away, maybe you will get reincarnated like all those heroes in those novels'

'Heh hero huhhh, Do you think I get isekaied?'

'Yes believe, you might get a new family, friends, lover and maybe multiple lovers and it's not like there is anything left for you here so you lose nothing'

'Yes what you are saying is true I agreed, I have nothing here, this world has taken everything from me and there is nothing I am good at other than scribbling some pictures, and I really don't think anyone would care if I die. So having a reincarnation and having a happy second life does sound more enticing than continuing to live like this for the rest of my lifetime.

'Isn't it, then jump'

The sound in my head repeated, but in the end, instead of stepping forwards I backed shaking my head 

'I don't think I will'

'You are afraid, coward. The only thing that waits for you in this world is more pain and loneliness, didn't you say it yourself that having a second chance on living in another world is better than living here

By now the sun had fully disappeared under the ocean, plunging the world into the darkness. 

"but what is the point of having a second life if gave up on my first one this easier"

'...'

"What is the point of looking forward to having happiness in the second life if I gave up on finding it in the first one this early...….. Second chances are the ones that should not be given but earned and the ones who give up their first chance do not have the right to earn it"

'.....'

Nodding to myself in conviction I continued "That's why I am not going to jump, I will try again next Christmas, if I fail then I will try again and again and if I could not find out what I seek in this family. I will just have to find the right people for next Christmas...…. I am not going to give up on anything not anymore, that is why I am asking you whomever you are"

'....!!!???'

'Please get the hell out of my head'

Bammmmm

Suddenly my eyes were blinded by a bright white light, the horizon was lit up with such intensity of light that it feel like rising a second sun but 100 times more powerful, 

"Ahhhh" I shrieked in the sudden burning sensation in my skin

Boom… a thunderous voice echoed in my ears

Everything went dark from there.

**********

'Get the hell out of my head'

The words echoed in 'its' mind, the words of an insignificant living being, there should be no reason for 'it' hears it, but 'it' has heard the words and it wants to know the reason. So 'it' looked and found out that the being lived in a fallen world, a world that 'it' lost to an enemy. 

The cosmos shook, the nebulae across the world started to stir, and the entire world quaked. 'It' had nothing more to think it focused on the earth, its lost world.

It was met with resistance

An equal power. 'it' cannot win but there is no reason to fight to win, with one thought it discerned the souls of the world and classified it into a million categories, all it took was a fraction of a nanosecond and with another second 'it' found the soul

'I choose you'  'It' said to the soul and scooped it without damaging it and retreated hastily to the stronghold