Her Peaceful Day

Hmm... What was this? I felt warm. Shouldn't I have died freezing? General Gunther might have died to ashes because of Apollon's power. But I remember that the blizzard was still blowing when I fainted.

My whole body aches. But this was nothing compared to Avalon's torments in my previous life. I felt my hand swing. It feels like tingling. But I knew that my wound was getting better. My vampire body had the ability to regenerate. Moreover, these few days I only drank human blood.

When I tried to raise my hand—it was still a little stiff.

"Are you awake?"

Raphael Chastain carried me. I was a little surprised by that. How did he find me?

"Kyle said you had a dangerous personal mission. So you're after a general?" He asked me, looking at me with his charming eyes.

It's a little awkward. I knew the timing and the situation was not right for now. But he carried me like a princess. Even though the knight used to carry his comrade on his back. Was it because Raphael knows I'm a girl? Or did he feel that my wound would get worse if I was carried on his back?

"I'm sorry sir," I prepared to be scolded. I shouldn't have done that. If I had a mission of my own—I had to tell my captain or commander.

Why was Raphael following me? He was one of the strongest commanders who had an important task in the Taverin war. He shouldn't have wasted his precious time on me.

"As soon as this news reaches Florentia headquarters—we'll spread it . . you will receive a reward," surprisingly he didn't scold me.

"Yes sir,"

"But I was hoping that you would inform your team members about something like this. Especially you should talk to your commander," he finally looked at me a little fiercely.

"Yes, sir," I nodded obediently. My voice still sounded weak. My throat was dry. I was still shivering too.

"What about General Gunther's body?" I asked.

"I brought his emblem along with a few pieces of the rest of his clothes to prove his death."

"Then the cursed weapon?"

"I left it at the bottom of the abyss. Let Avalon take care of it. The Gunther family are Avalon's true supporters. It's a waste of time to persuade the new sword wielder to join," Raphael responded.

"Oh," I said quietly.

"You shouldn't have wasted your time looking for me..what about Taverin?" I say weakly. I felt guilty about this.

"You don't look up at the sky?"

I looked up and realized that the day was starting again. An orange tinge began to appear on the horizon.

"The war trumpets sounded when I was looking for you..Kyle, smart enough to know that he shouldn't interfere with soldiers at war. He waited for today's war to end to let me know. I was looking for you alone. Hard enough, 'cause you don't talk enough to Kyle about your plans. Then I saw a very bright light at the bottom of the abyss."

"That's Apollon's power," I said.

"Oh, you awakened it? Impressive. Even though you don't know much about Apollon," Raphael appreciated me.

"The power of the sun, I think it's like that," I said a little doubtfully.

"You have to be careful with that, the sun is the enemy of vampires. Maybe we're immune enough now to real sunlight. But that weapon of yours—can also kill the vampires of Florentia," Raphael reminded.

"You should train me on that. I want to understand Apollon better," I said.

"Yes, after our war is over we will discuss this again. Now I have to carry you on the back because the road is starting to climb," he said. He then moved me carefully.

Silence was created. Of course, we didn't usually chat much. Apart from war and cursed weapons—I almost knew nothing about Raphael. Now was not the time to be friendly either.

I glanced briefly at my leg which was covered in bruises and ice daggers. Now the ice has melted and leaves scars everywhere. I feel sad, watching my porcelain white skin that used to be always praised by everyone.

My hands were not much different either. I was thankful that at least my face was safe because I was wearing a war helmet. But my hair that I was proud of—had frozen and was sticky from the dirt. I guess I'll have to cut it a bit later.

Without realizing it I sobbed. Tears rolled down my cheeks. I tried to hold it in but it was in vain. I cried. It turns out that my heart was still weak. I was still the sensitive crybaby Valerie. It didn't matter even if I killed a general and risked my life for it—I couldn't be really happy about it.

Now I'm worthless as a woman.

"Wh—why?" Raphael looked panicked when he realized I was crying.

"I'm sorry, sir! I just— I—" My voice was indistinct. But I need to spill my regrets on someone.

"I can't take care of myself—I— I'm a failure as a woman," this was embarrassing. But my heart didn't intend to stop complaining. I could never say this to anyone since I served in the military. I could only cry silently.

This was my first time complaining about my sadness to someone. It feels very emotional.

"What do you mean, Valor?" Raphael asked softly. He had probably never faced a crying woman before. I wouldn't blame him if he scolded me back or something.

"Now I'm scarred and ugly—" my throat caught in tears. I realize this was childish. But I couldn't stop it. This was the overflow of my emotions. My dissatisfaction because life feels unfair to me.

"It can heal! It won't leave a mark!" Raphael confirmed.

"You don't know about that, what about sir Damian? He has a scar on his face!" I'm still crying.

"Eh—that's because—you'll be fine anyway!"

It didn't really convince me. I was still crying. The battle was tough and painful but it was this insecurity that made me cry.

"Why should I go to war? Now I can't get married! No one would want me, my mother would be disappointed," I sobbed. Gosh this was embarrassing. Please Valerie. Stop being a drama queen. But female hormones seem to be taking over my whole brain. I couldn't help it.

"You'll be fine! You—" he didn't finish his sentence right away.

"Believe me you're one of the most beautiful women I ever know. So, it's impossible if no one wants you. Stop thinking negatively or your wound will be difficult to heal," he said a little quietly.

I was touched. That was so sweet. Maybe he was just making small talk but it calmed me down. I stopped crying. As a woman, I felt that my current condition was pathetic. I rarely take a shower, always wear men's clothes, never put on makeup and my hands were rough. I didn't know if I still remembered how to dress. But on second thought, I didn't really regret this second chance. Even if I once again have to disguise myself as a man and wield a sword.

"Thank you sir. I'm glad that you are my commander," I showed him my respect. I would follow him and make him my role model.

"Now your job is to rest and heal yourself. I will find a donor for you later," he said again. After crying too much, I became sleepy and slowly closed my eyes. I wanted to ask him about Ithadurna but it seems I was still too weak for that at the moment.