One-Shot

It was a school day, and lunch had just started.

Tobias, (Me), was watching other students play soccer from my classroom on the 2nd floor of the school building.

This is what I usually do when I have free time, since I have no one to spend that time with. My face always looks sad because of my eyebrows, they always seem to furrow, even though it's just my natural look, so people think of me as gloomy or a person they shouldn't get involved with.

The soccer match I was watching ended, with the team I was betting on (in my mind) as the losers. I was slightly frustrated, even though I hadn't really lost anything, but still frustrated nonetheless. The members of the losing team pat each other on the backs, I look at this scene with envy, ah… if only I had friends like that, but unfortunately, I'm a timid person by nature, so I couldn't really start any conversations with any of my classmates. In the end I left it up to luck and hoped someone would come talk to me, but no one ever did. I still had a friend though, someone I'd known since childhood, though we don't really meet much at school for some reason though we still walk home together, since we live in the same district. I'm sure she's just spending time with her other friends.

====================================================

10 years ago

It was back in pre-school that we met, I'm not much different from how I was back then. I would sit somewhere and just watch the other kids play. One time I made eye contact with her, and that was when a tomboy-ish, short-haired girl named Aya approached me.

"Hey! Don't you wanna play with us?"

"Huh? N-no not really…"

"Liar! Your face says otherwise!"

"Um… But tha-"

"It can't be helped then! I'll be your friend, so let's play!"

To be honest, I was dragged around a lot by her when we were little, but I'm still glad that I met her. I'm sure I would've been alone until now if it wasn't for her, and for that, I'm thankful.

====================================================

Present

Anyway, it was the usual, I'd just stand there by the window, staring at whatever catches my eye until lunch break was over, was what I thought, but…

"Hello, um, Tobias?"

I turn to the voice calling for me. It's Bell, my classmate, and also the girl I like. A beauty with long, black, hair, and also popular among the guys. Personally, I don't really judge a person based on their looks, but on their actions, but that's what made me fall for her. Sometimes during recess, I'd spot her, and most of those times, she would be helping out with the teachers. There was also that one time one of her friends was heartbroken, she hugged her and consoled her, and in that moment, I fell in love. Anyway, I should answer her.

"Y-yes? Do you need something?"

"Ah, I was just wondering if you'd like to have lunch together…"

"Eh?"

"You see, I made too much today, so I was wondering if you'd like some?"

Eh?! Seriously!? I get to eat lunch with her!?

Yes! Gladly!

"Yes, gladly."

I manage to keep calm, I mean, it'd be totally obvious if I were to answer with a lot of excitement, right? Actually, it'd be even more embarrassing if she already knew, and she's just pretending to not know out of kindness, either way, I still get to have lunch with her, and even better, it's her homemade cooking as well!

She borrows a chair and sets it down on my desk, and gives me a lunch box. I open it, and inside is some scrambled egg and some meatloaf.

"This looks delicious! Can I really eat all of this?"

"Hehe, of course you can."

"If you say so…"

I open my mouth and take a bite.

"Yummy!"

"Hehe, is that so? Thank you."

I chow down all of it, not leaving a single leftover, after all, wasting a single bit of something this delicious would be such a waste!

"Mmm! I haven't eaten anything as delicious as that in forever!"

"Haha! Tobias, you really aren't as gloomy as you look huh?"

"…Ah! Um, I'm sorry…"

"Huh? Sorry for what?"

"I mean, it must be creepy right? For someone like me to be acting like that…"

"Hm? I don't think that at all though? Actually, I think it'd be better if you acted like that more often!"

Ah… She really is kind, even to someone like me…

*RINGGGGGGG*

"Ah, there's the bell! Well, I guess I'll see you later Tobias."

"Ah, wait!"

"Yes?"

"Um, Thank you for the food…"

She just smiles at me, then proceeds back to her seat.

====================================================

After School

"Alright, make sure to take notes on this because it's gonna be on the test."

The teacher announces then leaves. School is over and now it's time to go home, since I don't really have anything to do now. As I head to the school gate, I see Bell standing there as if she was waiting for someone.

Crap, should I greet her? But what if she thinks I'm being overfamiliar? Or creepy? While I was just standing there contemplating, we make eye contact, then she waves at me. I felt my heart beat for a second, then decided to go talk to her.

"H-hello, Bell…"

"Hello, Tobias!"

She makes a smile that made my heart beat faster, and almost grin, but I manage to stop myself.

"Um… What are you doing here, Bell?"

"Actually, I was waiting for you."

Eh? Me?

"Me? Why?"

"I was wondering if… You wanted to go home together…"

Eh? Ehhhhh?! With me?! Seriously!? Am I going to die tomorrow?!

"Ok, but do you mind waiting? I usually go home together with my friend… ah! That is… if you don't mind another person coming with us."

"It's fine, I'll wait."

It's like I've been blessed by God, to be able to have lunch with her, and even go home together! I almost grin again, but this time I was stopped by a slap on the back, it was Aya

"Yo Tobi! Let's go home!"

"Ouch… can you not hit me on the back every time?"

"Aw c'mon it's fine isn't it? I'll treat you so don't be mad! …Oh? You are..?"

"Hello, my name is Bell. I was going to go home with Tobias."

Aya gives me a mischievous look and whispers in my ear.

"Oi, when did you become such a ladykiller, hm? To be going home with such a pretty girl!"

"Hey! It's not like that! She was the one who asked me if she could come along!"

"Hm? Why?"

"Well! Because..!"

…Huh? Actually, why does she want to go home with me? We don't even know each other that well… and the only time we ever talked was today, during lunch. Isn't this going too fast? We've only talked once, but now we're going home together? It's no use thinking about it, the quickest way to get an answer is by getting it from the person herself.

"Actually, Bell, why do you want to go home with me? I'm sure you have many other friends you can go home with, but why me all of a sudden? I mean, we've only talked for the first time today, and we don't even know each other all that well…"

Her face becomes a bit sullen, then replies.

"Well… You see, I had actually always noticed you by yourself. At first, I just thought of you as someone who doesn't want to associate with other people, so I avoided you at first, but as time went on, I got worried. You always just sat in the classroom with a sad expression on your face. Today I actually made another lunch box on purpose just so I could talk to you, then I learned that you aren't as bad as I thought you were."

What… What an angel! Now I feel bad about doubting her…

"I'm sorry if I've bothered you, I'll just take my leave now…"

"Ah! Wait! Um, you weren't bothering me at all, if anything, I'm glad that you talked to me! I should be the one apologizing, I was just a little confused is all… I'm sorry…"

She has a bit of a surprised look on her face, and after a few moments she laughs

"Ahaha! then I suppose I'll just have to forgive you then!"

Ah… She's so cute, I can feel my face burning up.

"Hey! What's with this heartwarming atmosphere! Don't forget that I'm still here!"

After chatting and bickering for a while, we go home.

I'm at home laying in my bed, recalling the events that happened today. I had lunch with Bell, and even went home with her. I recall her smiling face then cover my face with a pillow, then scream as hard as I can. This is probably the happiest I've felt in forever, so happy that I could barely contain it. Unfortunately, the pillow wasn't enough to muffle my voice, then my brother came in a few moments later and told me to shut up.

====================================================

3 Months Later

It's been a few months since that day. Me and Bell have gotten pretty close since then, and so has Aya. Actually, sometimes I think they've gotten too close, but they're both girls, so I'm probably just overthinking things.

Anyway, after spending all this time together, I've decided. Today, I'm going to confess to Bell! I'm going to overcome my weakness of being a timid person and tell her how I feel! Well, assuming I find the right timing. The only time I can do it is after school, after most of the students have gone home, I'd be too embarrassed if someone was watching.

So here I am, waiting at the school gate, but both Aya and Bell are nowhere to be found. I wait for a while, but they don't arrive, so I decide to go look for them. I go to Bell's classroom but there's no one there, so I head to Aya's classroom next. As I was about to reach the classroom, I heard Bell's voice yell out.

"I like you! Please go out with me!"

…Eh? Bell had someone she liked? But who? I don't think she ever associated with the guys much except for me? Maybe I heard wrong…

I quietly head to the door to take a peek, so I can confirm my suspicions. When I looked inside, what I saw wasn't Bell confessing to a guy… but to Aya.

"Yes! Of course!"

Eh?

====================================================

At The School Gate

…So, Bell was like that, huh? And Aya too…

…

I just stand there at the gate, waiting for Aya and Bell. To be honest, I really just want to go home, I'm scared of looking at them in the face, but I decide against it. We've always gone home together, and whenever we couldn't we would notify each other beforehand. If I went home without notice, and on today out of all days, they might know something's up.

Sure, I'm afraid of meeting them, but more than that, I'm even more afraid of them hating me. I mean, it hurts, the person I liked is now going out with someone else, but at least the person she's going out with is someone I trust, so I should be happy for her… right?

I'm fine with this, even if never got to confess and tell her how I feel, even if my first love never even succeeded, even if this pain never heals, as long as I can continue with what we have now, I'm fine with this.

After waiting for a while, I finally see Bell and Aya. They looked completely normal, as if the scene I had witnessed earlier was just an illusion, but I know full well that it was real.

"Yo Tobi!"

"Hello Tobias."

My heart is aching, I want to run away, but it's too late for that now. I try to keep my face in check, but then I realize there's no need for that.

"Hello, Aya, Bell."

I'm surprised at myself for being to greet them so easily, despite being in this much pain. We carry on as usual, we go home together, we talk about the things that happened today while walking, but I couldn't bring myself to look at them properly even once. I can't believe that just being with them would hurt this much, can I really endure this?

We talk about a lot of things, I'd talk about the stuff I'd see outside the window, Bell would talk about a story one of her friends told her, and Aya would talk about something she saw once on the internet.

We just talk until we reach the intersection. We all split up here and say our goodbyes, then I continue walking home. It's strange, we talked about a lot of things, but not once did they mention that they were going out now.

Doesn't that mean that… they don't even trust me? Even though I thought we were close… unless I was the only one thinking that?

My heart aches again, I don't want to feel any more of this pain, so I just daydream about random things until I finally reach home. I head inside and see my mom cooking something for dinner.

"I'm home…"

My mom notices me and greets me.

"Ah! Tobi! Welcome home, do you want anything for dinner?"

Whatever she's cooking smells delicious, but…

"You don't have to make anything for me, I'm not hungry today."

She gives me a bit of a concerned look.

"Huh… that so? Well, I suppose that's just more for me then!"

I head to my room and just leave my bag wherever, I don't feel like organizing anything right now. I take off my uniform and put on some easier to wear clothes, then just lay down on my bed.

I just lay there, and let the tears flow out. They just keep flowing and flowing, to the point that my pillow was completely wet. I just move it out of the way then lay down again, then continue to cry and let it all out, then fall asleep.

====================================================

The Next Day

Ugh… I feel like shit. I wake up but had some difficulty opening my eyes, probably all swollen from crying to sleep last night. I just wanna lay in bed all day, but heartbreak isn't really a good excuse to skip school.

Despite not wanting to, I get up anyway and wash my face, and prepare for another day of school. I sit down at the dining table and start eating breakfast with my mom and my brother. Dad usually has to get up and leave early, so he usually just takes a boxed lunch. We only ever eat together on his days off.

Thankfully, it's not like in those novels or manga where they go "I can't taste it anymore." To be honest, I don't actually know if you can lose your sense of taste from heartbreak or depression, but mom's cooking is always delicious, it'd be impossible to not be able to taste it.

But that doesn't change the fact that I'm still hurting inside. While we were eating, I noticed that my mom was staring at me, did I have some food on my face?

"Tobi… are you alright?"

"…Hm?"

"You look kinda… dejected. I'm worried for you as your mother."

My brother takes a close look at my face.

"Hmm… Really? I don't really think he looks any different from usual."

…Heh, that's just like mom. She's somehow always able to tell when I'm feeling down, and tries to cheer me up. Just knowing that she's there for me makes me feel a little better.

"If you need someone to talk to, I'm here for you, ok?"

I smile a little when I hear that.

"Yeah I know, but it's fine now, I was just sorting out my feelings, but I've got it all figured out now."

…? For some reason my mom is giving me a weird look.

"Hmm..? could it be… that you've fallen in love with me?"

What?! I almost choke on my food, but manage to gulp it down.

"Gross! What are you saying?!"

"Haha relax! It was just a joke! You're so adorable Tobi."

Seriously… and she was being so concerned for me just a second ago. She can be a bit mischievous at times, but I do love her.

====================================================

At School

Crap… I completely forgot to study for the quiz today. Hah… I should probably let go of these feelings. I don't want my grades to lower since studying is one of the only things I'm good at.

It was recess. As usual, I was staring out the window, observing whatever catches my eye. But I couldn't focus, since Bell was in the same room as me. This is how it always is, but… for some reason it feels so awkward now…

We never usually talk at school, because Bell is usually always talking together with her other friends. The time we spend together walking home is usually the only time I can look forward to, since it's the really the only time I get to talk with her, but now… I really wish that time would never come.

I'm sure it's just me, but being near her feels so weird now. I get out of the classroom and find somewhere else to stay. God… I'm such a coward, all I can do is run away. I bought some bread at the cafeteria and now I'm currently eating it on the stairway to the roof, since no one usually comes here. Well, usually, anyway.

I hear someone coming up the stairs, and to my surprise, it's Bell.

"Ah, there you are Tobias."

"B-Bell?! W-what are you doing here?"

"I was looking for you."

Eh? For me?

"Huh? W-why?"

"Well, I'd noticed that you looked more down than usual, so I got a bit worried…"

Agh!!! If you say something like that to me, it's going to be harder to let go of you!!! And to think she can notice when I'm sad as well… unless my brother is the only one who can't tell?

"Eh? T-This is how I always l-look though? I-I feel completely f-fine!"

She looks at me suspiciously.

"Are you sure? You're stuttering a lot you know…"

"H-Huh? W-What do you m-mean? I-I'm sure it's j-just your imagination!"

What the hell am I doing!? I'm acting like a complete dumbass!

"Hmmmm…"

Bell closes in on me and stares at me for a while, and she's too close!

"I'm sorry! I just remembered I had something I need to do!"

"Ah! Wait!"

I push bell away and run away, being a coward once again. Man… what the hell am I doing? How can I face her now…

====================================================

After School

Here I was hoping this time would never come, but time always passes by quickly when you don't want it to. Here I am again, walking home with Bell and Aya again.

They're talking about something as usual, but I can't hear it. It's too painful for me. It hurts when I remember that I pushed Bell away when she was only showing concern for me. It hurts that she's pretending nothing happened out of kindness for me. It just… hurts…

I overestimated myself. I thought that I'd be able to continue on like this, if we could just stay together like we always did, but it's too much… I don't think I can take this any longer…

"Oh yeah! There's a fireworks festival this weekend! We should totally go! You got only plans for the weekend bell?"

"No, not really."

"Sweet! How bout' you Tobi?"

"…not going…"

"Huh? What'd you say?"

"I'm not going."

"Huh? O-Oh… I see, you busy that day or something?"

"I'm not."

"E-Eh? Then why..?"

"I'm sure I'm just a nuisance, right?"

"Huh? Of course not… What makes you say tha-"

"The both of you are dating aren't you!? And I'm just in the way!!!"

"Hah?! Where'd yo-"

"I saw it!!! Yesterday at your classroom! Bell confessed to you and you accepted!"

Oh no…

"I'm sure I'm just getting in your way right!?!"

Please stop…

"The truth is that you want to be together… but stay with me because you pity me, who has no friends, don't you?!?"

No more…

"Bell! I bet you only became friends with me because you wanted to be with Aya, not because you actually cared about me right!?!"

Stop!!!

I come back to my senses, with my breathing hard from all that yelling. I look at them in the face, and my blood runs cold. Of course… of course they would look at me like that.

"A-Ah… I-I'm sorry… I didn't… m-mean it…"

My words won't come out properly, so I gather up all of my breath.

"I'm sorry!!!"

I run away again, like the good-for-nothing piece of shit that I am. I couldn't hold it in and went too far, and now I've lost everything. Ahaha… it's all over…

====================================================

3 Days Later

"Tobi? Are you still not feeling well?"

I was shut inside my room, and my mother was on the other side of the door. I let out a groan loud enough for her to hear.

"I see… I'll leave your food here ok? You can eat it whenever you like, I'll come back later to pick up the tray."

I get up from bed wait for the footsteps to leave, then open the door and pick up the tray, and quickly close the door. I start eating and finish everything, not leaving a single bit.

I've been staying in my room and skipping school ever since what happened 3 days ago. As if I could face them after what I said. I bet they hate me now, anyone would.

After all, all they've ever shown me was kindness, but I rejected it because of my own selfishness. I've ruined everything, and it's impossible to go back to how we were before.

I lay in bed, and just lay there, wishing I could rewind time back to when I was happiest. Suddenly, my mom calls me from outside.

"Tobi~! Aya is here to see you~."

…Huh? Aya? What is she doing here? Well… whatever she's here for, it's most likely not a sick visit.

"…Tobi? You there?"

…I can't find what to say.

"You don't have to say anything, just knock once if you're there."

…Should I knock? I'm scared, but if I ignore her, nothing might ever change, and I'll be stuck in this room forever. I muster up my courage, and hit the door with the back of my hand.

"Good, I just came here to tell you something, come to the fireworks festival tomorrow."

Huh…?

"I'm not going to force you or anything, but just know that if you don't, you'll probably regret it."

Regret...? They want… to see me?

"Anyway, that's all I came here to say, later."

Why would they want to see me…? After all I said, shouldn't they not want to have anything to do with me ever again? Maybe they just want me to get out of my room to beat me up… no, they aren't the type to do that. And regret? What did she mean by that? Crap, I can't wrap my head around this!

Should I go or not? I ask myself that question over a thousand times. But couldn't come up with a decision.

====================================================

The Next Day

Shit, I ended up falling asleep.

Hm… for now I should get out of this room, I won't be able to come up with a decision by just sitting here all day.

I open the door then smell something delicious coming from downstairs, I head down and greet my mom, who's cooking breakfast.

"Good morning…"

She turns to me and has a big smile on her face.

"Tobi! You're finally feeling better?"

"Mhm…"

"That's great! breakfast is almost ready, so can you go wake your brother for me?"

"Mom can we talk?"

"Hm? About what?"

"I need help."

She looks at me, dumbfounded.

"…? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Because… Because… Because it's the first time you've ever asked me for help!"

…Huh?

"Ever since you were young, not once have you asked me for help! I was getting worried you know~! I thought that maybe I was unreliable or you couldn't trust me!"

…Now that I think about it, I really haven't huh? Ever since I was young, I've never asked for a lot of things. I remember that mom was always having trouble taking care of my brother.

In order not to stress her out, I avoided asking for too much, but then ended up never asking for a single thing.

"So~? What is it you want my help with?"

"…I ended up saying too much and hurt a girl in my class, after that I ran away. Normally that girl would hate you and never want to see you again, right?"

"Hm… Your girlfriend?"

"Hey! I'm being serious! And no, she's not my girlfriend."

"I see, and?"

"She wants to see me, but I said a lot of cruel things to her you know? She shouldn't want to see me, right?"

"If she wants to see you, doesn't that mean she wants to reconcile?"

"Would she really want to do that?"

She gives me a stern look.

"Listen here Tobi, this isn't something I can fix for you, but I can give you advice, stop thinking of the worst-case scenario, and just go for it. Even if she doesn't want to reconcile with you, you can still apologize, and if she doesn't forgive you, then you're just gonna have to live with that."

…She was right, all this time I've been running away like a coward. Even if I don't get forgiven, I'd rather live with that than leave things like this.

"Was I of any help?"

"Yeah, thanks mom…"

She gives me a big smile.

"Hah… but to think Tobi would finally get a girlfriend…"

"Mom!"

====================================================

That Night, At The Fireworks Festival

I'm here, and to be honest, I'm scared as hell. But I'm not running away anymore, I'm done with being a coward.

I look around for Aya and Bell, and after searching for a while, I spot Bell. She's wearing casual clothing, ah… she looks so cute standing there… Wait! This isn't the time to be thinking of stuff like that! I steel myself and approach her.

"Bell!"

"Wah! Tobias! You startled me!"

I prostrate myself onto the ground.

"I'm sorry! I'm really, really sorry! I said all those cruel things to you without thinking of your feelings! I'm not asking you to forgive me, but I want you to know I'm seriously sincerely super-duper very sorry!"

"U-Um..! I'm very happy that you feel that way… b-but please stand up…! People are staring!"

I get up and look around, and realize that there's a crowd staring. I lower my head and scratch it in embarrassment.

"Ah, sorry…"

"Geez, enough with the apologizing, I'll forgive you so stop, ok?"

…Huh? Seriously?

"Wait, really? Even though I said all those cruel things…"

"Yes, really."

"Seriously? I kind of feel guilty now… I said a lot of bad things and I'm being forgiven this easily…"

"It's fine! I could tell how much you regret what you did with your apology from earlier. Though it was kind of embarrassing…"

Seriously, what an angel! I said such cruel things, yet she doesn't hate me, and even forgave me! It's fine if I can't be with her, but as long as I can stay by her side, I'm happy enough. And this time I mean it.

"Hm? Come to think of it… where's Aya?"

"Oh, she isn't here."

"Eh? Why?"

That's strange, I thought they would be together, since they're dating and all.

"Never mind that, let's go visit the stalls!"

I was dragged by the hand, and got swept up in her flow, and we ended up having lots of fun together. I kind of feel bad for Aya who isn't here though…

"Hey Tobias! The fireworks are going to start! Come with me."

She leads me through some woods, and we end up at a quiet empty place where we can view the fireworks from.

We sit there in silence and wait for the fireworks to start. Now that I think about it, wasn't this technically… a date? No no no! get that thought out of your head Tobias! Bell already has Aya! You already promised that you were satisfied with just staying by her side!

Suddenly, I feel something warm on my hand? I check my hand, and see Bell's on top of mine.

"Eh? Bell? What are you doing?"

"Geez, is it still not obvious…? The one I like… is you."

…

Huh?

…

HUUUUUUUHHHHHHH?!?!!?

The fireworks started going off in the background, but I paid no attention to that. All I could focus on was Bell's red face, as she told me that she liked me.

====================================================

After The Festival

The fireworks were over. People were packing their things and going home, but me and Bell were still sitting there in the spot we were watching fireworks from. Though, I couldn't focus on the fireworks at all.

"So, you're saying that… Aya was just helping you this entire time?"

"Mhm."

Apparently, the one Bell liked was me, so she asked Aya to help her get together with me. That confession I saw that day was just practice, and Aya was trying to get me to come to the festival then get us alone together.

"I… don't know what to say, but um, I'm sorry for misunderstanding… I guess?"

"O-Oh you don't have to apologize, it was my fault for not being more careful."

"No no, I shouldn't have assumed things and gotten mad."

"No no, it was my fault for not noticing how you felt."

"No no,"

"No no no,"

We just kept trying to apologize to each other, to the point it almost became a contest.

"I really should apologize to Aya"

"Pft, Ahahaha!"

We just suddenly burst into laughter, then go quiet after a while. We just sit there together in silence, hand in hand.

"Hey Bell."

"Yes?"

"Why did you fall in love with someone like me?"

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm completely unremarkable, you know? I'm not that talented, I always look depressed and the only thing I'm good for is studying."

"Geez, you think too low of yourself!"

Bell grabs my head and makes me face her.

"There's lots of good points about you, you know?"

"Like what?"

"There's too many too name them all!"

Being told that, I felt like I could do anything for her. I swear to do my best and make her happy for the rest of her life!

…

Her face is kind of close.

…

Well, I did promise myself I'd stop running away. I gather some of my courage, then I lean forward and kiss her.

Her face was bright red.

"Wha… Wha… Wha…?"

"Bell."

"Y-yes…?"

"I love you."

End.