Chapter 9

I admit that I was excited last night when mom told me about her plan today, I just didn't expect. Now i don't want to get used to this situation that we might have a bond together for hours but I don't know where would be our next get together as a family of three, having a quality time with mom happens once in a blue moon.

"Sorry mom, it's all my fault and my cravings of course," Beth apologized to mom.

"It's ok honey, now both of you where do you wanna go?" Mom ask us again.

"Home," I answer.

"Are you sure sis? Aren't you want to go out with mom so that we can have quality time together, you know mom because what what if she got busy at her work again? Beth ask me.

"Haven't you heard what the doctor told us before we leave the clinic? She said that I need torest because that's the reason I'm excused in class, so I want to go home but if the both of you really wanna go out and bond, you two can go without me 'cause I really wanna stay at home and take a rest."

"Well I guess I'll stay at home too, I need to figure out something tho," Beth muttered.

"Ok girls, if that's your decisions then we're heading home," mom said and then she started the engine of the car.

When we were in the car I stay silent, It's really weird that I feel that there's a stranger whenever mom is around, maybe the gap between the two of us was this big that's why it's always feel awkward whenever we're in this situation. I'm also close on forgetting of how she looks because we barely even see each other for she's always too busy on her works and for her reason that she's been always busy at work just to give us a life that we totally deserved, without even knowing that all I want is her time.

Sometimes I was thinking that what if we're living a simple life, without company works, cameras everywhere we goes, medias and our faces on the magazines, maybe we're now a whole and happy family living a simple life that can eat 3 times a day and has a stable works that can pay for our tuition and bills, what if?

I put my airpods on my ears then I lay my head on the back of my seat. I still can feel that the medicines given to me still lingering on my body because I feel sleepy, that's why I decided to closed my eyes so that I may also avoid conversation with mom because it's awkward and makes me feel uncomfortable.

I woke up when I feel that someone tap my shoulder and when I opened my eyes, it's my mom. Now I noticed that we're finally reached our house, I don't even know how long did I slept because I saw my little sister Beth handing some bags and plastic bags so I'm sure that they stop over to buy some stuffs. I step out of the car and immediately enters our house, our nanny greeed me and as a reply to her, I just smiled at her and then I went to my room because I want to be alone.

I leave my room's door unlock and I headed into the bathroom to take a bath so that I can change my clothes "cause I'm still on my school uniform anmy body is itchy, maybe it's theafter result of my alergy.

When I finally done fixing myself, I get my laptop and lay on my bed and when I opened it, I received so many messages and notifs telling me to get well soon. I don't have an idea if where that stolen photos of me that's now viral on social media came from when I've had an allergy attack. It's not new to me and lucky for me that even in the stolen shots, I still look gorgeous. And because it will takes more time for me to say thank you for their concerns 'cause they're too many, I posted my pic here at home while I'm resting with a caption, "I'm feeling better and I just needed some rest, thanks for the love and concerns, I really appreciate it."

I keep in scrolling on IG when I saw Xander's message. I didn't bother to seen it because I already saw on the notif that he asked if I'm at home, I know that he can see my post maybe not now but later. I'm really not in a mood to talk to anybody right now. But I know that I can't run away from mom because I saw her enters my room.

"Just let me know if you need anything ok? If you feel strange feeling I'll bring you to the hospital," says mom and then she sat on my bed.

"I'm fine mom, you can go back to work, maybe they need you to be there." I answer her and then I close my laptop and put it beside the table on my bed then I hugged my pillow and turn my back from her.

Maybe my mom's numb that much, she can't even feel and noticed that I don't need any material things, I mean I do need them tho but I'd trade everything I have just to have her time for us, yeah seriously I'm willing to trade everything I have just to have her.

"Look honey, I know you're mad at me because I'm always busy doing our company thing but I already explained to you if why does our situations need to stay like this, it's for the sake of you and your little sister Beth."

"I know mom, that's why I'm telling you that you can go back to work now because I do really felling better and you don't have to worry about me," I told her while not looking at her.

"Why aren't you facing me? Does my face has curse and lately I can feel your coldness treat towards me, I'm not used to this honey," again she told me.

"Me too mom, before I'm not used into our set-up that we barely even see nor talk to you, but time passed and it always happens all the time mostly, I get used to it and just like me I want you to get used on the way how I treated you because you know that you can't blame me." I answer and then I face her while I'm still hugging my favorite pillow. "I really don't like this kind of set-up mom, I'm sorry but I'll be honest with you I feel uncomfortable whenever you're around because we barely even see each other and I feel that you're a stranger whenever you're here. But I still love you and I don't even know if you feel the same way to us, I'm sorry if this is how i feel towards you right now, I'm really sorry." I added.