Wow, when it rains, it pours. I’d sat on the floor long after Gabriel left, thinking over his words and trying to convince myself that it wasn’t as bad as I imagined. I’m always at war with myself these days when it comes to dealing with him. On the one hand, I so want to enjoy my newfound freedom; on the other, I dread how he’d react if I disobeyed him again.
How do I get him to see me as more than a kid who needs him to protect me from everything? That I have a mind of my own. A mind that I’ve had to suppress all my life for fear of Sam killing me.
I don’t feel the same oppression from Gabriel as I did with Sam, but still, it feels as if I’m once again under someone else’s thumb. Not that I mind being under Gabriel’s anything, and that’s probably what’s giving me fits. I’ve always chafed at Sam’s authority and strongarm tactics, but that was easy because Sam is just an awful human being.