The Battle of Calandra

"Are you sure you don't want to learn martial arts from me?" Blink pestered his brother-in-law for the nth time.

His brother-in-law, however, refused to even give an answer. He had made his point quite clear already, as far as he was concerned.

Blink just shrugged his shoulders and said, "I must warn you, when I'm gone, you're going to have to root out undesirables like these ones.

"Don't forget that you're still the village chief and still young enough to flex some muscles."

Jogr had a torn expression on his face. He wanted to say something but clammed up at the last moment.

Blink decided to wake up one of the bandits. He playfully poked one on the buttocks with his quarter staff. The bandit jumped up in fright when he felt Blink doing something he suspected could be the reason the latter was called the Butt-Sticking Brownie. He was totally alert right away.

"The ones you are waiting for—when are they arriving?" Blink asked the quaking bandit harshly.

Of course, with Blink's gentle-sounding voice and even gentler-looking demeanor, he didn't sound harsh at all. Fortunately, the bandit knew better than to believe he would be treated with kindness by a martial artist who was legendary for his cruelty towards bandits like him.

"Tell me quick!" Blink demanded.

"Th...Th…They're su…su…supposed to arrive within the hour, s-s-sir!"

Blink had learned about the meeting between the two bandit groups from the leader of the bandit group that he took care of at Nagwa.

"You mean they can be here in about thirty minutes?" Blink clarified the bandit's use of the phrase 'within the hour'.

"Y-y-yes, sir!" the bandit fearfully replied.

Blink squinted his eyes towards the hill where he and Jogr stood at before coming through the north gate.

"How many were you expecting to meet up with?" he interrogated the bandit further.

"About a hundred, more or less," the bandit revealed.

Jogr had an alarmed expression on his face. "So many!" he exclaimed.

Blink pondered the matter over for several breaths. Once again, he looked towards the hill to the north. For once, his countenance turned serious.

"Namgun, inform the mayor of the town. Tell him to send over as many men as he can quickly. He should be able to gather the rest in time for the big showdown."

Blink's countenance turned from contemplative to resolute as he commanded his brother-in-law.

"What is your plan, Nimgun? Are you going to fight a hundred armed bandits with ordinary townsmen?"

"I only need them to make the number. If the enemy sees that we outnumber them, the bandit leader might agree to fight me in single combat."

"I see," Jogr nodded in contemplation.

"Don't delay any further, Namgun. I need a lot of men here before the bandits arrive."

As soon as Jogr had gone, Blink turned to the bandit he was interrogating.

"Tie up your friends. Don't try to trick me. If I notice you not doing it properly, I swear I'm going to smash your legs purple and black."

The bandit immediately complied. He had no reason to believe that the Butt-Sticking Brownie would not do as he promised.

Meanwhile, the bandit whom Jogr wrestled with had regained a bit of strength and was trying to get up. However, as he was getting up on his knees, a quarter staff whacked him right above the ear. The man plumped down on the ground. He was eventually tied up by his fellow bandit.

Blink then bound the bandit who tied up his comrades. He lumped them together against a tree.

Around twenty minutes after Jogr left to see the town mayor, a group of about thirty men arrived at the scene.

"Greetings, Young Hero!" They all bowed to Blink. They were glad to see that the person they were rallying around to was the same brown-robed disciple who dispatched over sixty bandits in their town not too long ago.

"Are the rest on their way?" Blink asked anxiously.

"Young Hero, some are probably on their way. The rest will follow as soon as they can."

"No, that's no good," Blink said. "Five of you, go back and tell them to hurry up."

"And be sure to round up as many more men as you can!" Blink shouted at the departing men.

He ordered one of the men with him to run up the hill and check how close the enemy was and to report their strength.

The scout came right back and reported that the enemy was about ten kilometers away with a strength of approximately one hundred and twenty.

Blink heaved a sigh of relief.

"This means we have around thirty minutes before the enemy comes through the gate," Blink mumbled.

More and more people from the town came and flocked Blink.

Some of the men from more affluent clans tried to impress Blink by bragging about the strength of their clan. This only drew an irate glance from Blink, and they immediately clamped up. Indeed, if they were really as strong as they bragged, those sixty drunken bunch from before shouldn't have been able to paint the town red.

Blink organized the men about thirty meters from the gate. There were close to five hundred of them, and more were still coming. They suddenly found courage after hearing that the Butt-Sticking Brownie would be leading the charge.

But while their number was intimidating, their collective fighting skill is, at best, mediocre. Except for the members of the major clans came armed with a sword or saber, the men weren't really fighters. Sure they came armed with axes and pitchforks, but these were hardly weapons that were fit for fighting bandits armed with war blades and spears.

Shortly before the bandits appeared within the townspeople's view, the mayor arrived with over two hundred men. Jogr was walking with alderman.

Blink and the mayor had a brief chat that was abruptly halted by the appearance of the bandits upon the hill close to the northern gate.

Marching in front of his men, the bandit leader saw the almost eight hundred townspeople standing close to the gate and wasn't impressed. He snorted and spat in disdain.

At this time, Blink took his position well in front of the throng.

As soon as the bandits had all entered the gate, they stood in a single line along the town walls. Like Blink, their leader also stood well in front of his men.

"Hah! You thought you could scare us off with your number!" the bandit leader spoke condescendingly. "You're all just a bunch of yellow weaklings! I, Arsianovix, will kill you all!"

Blink could tell that this bandit had never heard about him. Surely, he would not be so arrogant if he had heard about the Butt-Sticking Brownie. With his unusual name, he was obviously a foreigner.

"You don't have to fight them all," Blink told the haughty man. "You just need to fight me."

"You!? Bwa-ha-ha! Don't make me laugh!" Arsianovix apparently thought so little of Blink.

The men of Calandra gritted their teeth. How dare he look down on a local hero!

"You wouldn't find it so funny if you knew I knocked out all those other bandits who were supposed to hook up with you here in Calandra."

"You? By yourself? Bwa-ha-ha-ha! That's the funniest thing I ever heard."

"You've got a loud mouth," Blink hissed. "I think I might actually enjoy knocking out all of your teeth today."

"Hmph! You dare talk like a man when you look like a girl! After this battle, I'll make sure to bend you over and enjoy you from behind!"

Blink did not respond to the man's threat. Instead, his face seemed to lose all expression and became unfathomable.

Seeing this, the men of Calandra silently pitied the bandit leader in their hearts even as they thought that he deserved whatever misfortune the Butt-Sticking Brownie would rain upon him.

"Oh, so you're afraid of some doggie-style fun," the bandit leader laughed with derision. "Don't worry, I'll be gentle."

Blink squinted ferociously at the man in front of him.

"I'll assure you, you won't leave this battlefield without bleeding from your bunghole," Blink snarled full of contempt. "You bandits are all the same: you like to talk tough but your bite doesn't have enough teeth."

With that Blink charged at the man, quarter staff on the high guard position.

After the first round of exchange, Blink realized that his opponent was no ordinary bandit. Not only was he able to dodge Blink's first strike, he was also able to promptly counterattack. And when the counterattack failed and Blink was about to lunge for a horizontal strike, he was able to block Blink's quarter staff with his saber and then drew an arc with his weapon for a slash to Blink's waist area.

Blink spun while he was moving backward causing the tip of the enemy's blade to miss by a few centimeters. Before Blink could finish spinning, his weapon swung horizontally in a wide arc meant to check the opponent's advance.

Arsianovix checked his momentum. He raised his saber in the high guard position ready to assault Blink as soon as his quarter staff passed through. However, the quarter staff suddenly stopped right in front of the bandit then pushed towards his throat. The bandit stomped on the ground and leaped backward for a few meters.

Blink could have easily chased after the man but didn't bother. He already knew he was the superior fighter.

"You know martial arts," he told the man matter-of-factly.

"Hmph!" Arsianovix snorted. "Not only do I know martial arts, I am also a much better fighter than you!"

"Foolish loudmouth," Blink replied emotionlessly. "I'm going to enjoy knocking out your teeth today and having fun with your fanny."

Blink stepped forward with a backhanded horizontal strike.

The bandit responded by blocking with the blade of his saber. This time he did not try to block with the middle of his blade but with the upper part of his saber, close to the tip, so he could immediately execute an upward cross slash after the block. To his great surprise the quarter staff didn't move in a straight line but rose above his saber and hit him squarely at the edge of his right eyebrow.

Instinctively, Arsianovix raised his saber horizontally, as if he were blocking a downward strike. At this time, Blink rushed to the side of his enemy. Holding his weapon with both hands, Blink rammed his quarter staff twice at the exposed area under the man's armpit. The man's hand suddenly fell down, clearly unable to wield his weapon.

But Blink wasn't done yet. He spun and drew an arc with his weapon which landed squarely on the lower back of Arsianovix. Then, holding his quarter staff with two hands anew, he rammed it at the small of the bandit leader's back. The man screamed in agony as he fell face first on the ground.

The other bandits saw that their leader had fallen and tried to rescue him by attacking Blink. However, Blink moved intricately into the little spaces between the attacking bandits and rammed and smashed his quarter staff at the most vulnerable parts of their body.

Two other bandits were sent flying back with palm strikes. Blood came out of their mouth and they lost consciousness immediately.

One bandit took one to the throat. He had a very scary look on his extremely agonized face. Blink sent a kick that brought the poor sap to the ground. The man shook violently, like an animal on its last breath.

In less than five seconds, Blink took down a total of eight men, including the bandits' vice-leader, who fell unconscious with a huge lump above his left eye.

The rest of the bandits hesitated before Blink's monstrous display of martial prowess.

In that moment of hesitation, the roughly eight hundred townspeople of Calandra could no longer bare getting left out of the action and charge the surprised bandits. Having dropped their guards, the bandits were easily overwhelmed by the superior number of the good guys.

Because some of the Calandra men got wounded during the assault, they vented their frustration on those bandits who were still conscious. The bandits could do nothing but take it.

Meanwhile, the Arsianovix had already managed to stand up. Although he could no longer possibly wield his saber effectively in his condition, he still had the temerity to brandish it and act proud before Blink.

This act further enraged Blink who merely grabbed the man's hand as he was about to swing it. Then, Blink pulled the man's hand so hard while kicking his rib cage. A loud snap could be clearly heard. The once haughty bandit leader just suffered a separated shoulder. He cried in agonizing pain, but Blink showed him no mercy and pulled his hand again, although this time Blink no longer kicked him at the same time.

Arsianovix howled in excruciating pain, nevertheless. He fell on his knees, a totally spent man.

However, Blink wasn't done with him yet. He kicked Arsinovix to the chest, sending the man sprawled on the ground.

"Didn't I promise to take out all your teeth?" Blink recalled his pre-fight declaration.

The bandit leader looked at Blink in horror. He could not raise his right arm anymore, thus he only had his left arm to protect himself.

Blink angrily smashed the tip of his quarter staff to the man's mouth, but the latter was able to block some of the attack's force by covering his mouth with his palm facing outward. Undeterred, Blink whacked the man's arm several times until he was forced to take his hand away. As soon as the hand came off, Blink smashed the tip of his quarter staff really hard at the once arrogant bandit.

After taking several hits from Blink's quarter staff, the mouth of Arsianovix was a bloody red. He was also spitting teeth after teeth.

While he was on all fours, Blink went behind him and said, "Didn't I tell you that your bunghole is going to bleed today?"

Before Arsianovix could react, he felt a hard object trying poke into his behind.

Alarmed, he turned around immediately and sat on his butt. It was pointless though. Blink rained blows on his shin and knees. The loud wailing of the bandit leader would forever be inscribed in the memory of the men of Calandra who participated in the battle. It was the sound of pure terror.

When Blink was done with Arsianovix' legs, he pushed the man to the ground and pushed his knee against the small of the man's back. He then went on to poke the man's fanny several times.

Angered by his unsuccessful attempts, Blink went to get a dagger from among the other bandits. He forcefully ripped open the bandit leader's pants then resumed his probing action. Arsianovix countered every attempt by Blink to hit that elusive hole by squiggling with all his might.

Blink kept on until Arsianovix passed out from all the struggling he had to do to avoid getting ramrodded. Fortunately for him, Blink lost all interest once he had passed out.

When it was all over, the mayor invited Blink and Jogr for another evening party. This time Blink was able to successfully decline and politely requested for a sumptuous lunch instead.

The mayor wanted to insist on the evening party, but had to eventually accede to Blink's request.

Thus, the brothers-in-law were brought to the best restaurant in Calandra wherein they were treated to a feast of the best dishes Calandra could offer. And more.

"So it's always like this? They let you eat all you want for free and also have a scantily dressed pretty girl wait at your table?"

"When I routed that unruly mob here a rahang ago, they threw me a party, remember? But you're right, Namgun. It seemed to have become the norm from the other towns and cities I had been to. I don't know the reason as well."

"I understand the idea of feeding you all you can eat. But the pretty girl displaying her bountiful blessings in front of you?"

"You think she's pretty, Namgun?" Blink had a sly glint in his eyes that Jogr did not notice.

"Well, isn't she?" Jogr replied unsuspectingly.

"I wonder what Namgan would say about that."

"What are you playing at?"

"She's my namgan. As the responsible nimgun that I am, it is my duty to report on her husband's dalliances when he's out of her sight." Blink adopted a righteous posture as if to emphasize a point.

"You! You can't be serious!"

"Try me."

"Oh, c'mon! You know how your namgan is. I'm afraid if you tell it the way I'm afraid you would, I'm afraid she won't let me off."

"And rightfully so! And don't think I didn't notice that you used the word 'afraid' three times in that last sentence."

"Stop fibbing! I really don't like to joke about any further." Jogr was really nervous.

Blink found it funny how his brother-in-law seemed so afraid of offending his elder sister.

He regarded Jogr seriously and said, "I promise I won't tell Namgan."

"That's a relief."

"But…"

"What?! Seriously?!!"

"You have to call me Teacher first."

Jogr flashed Blink the look of someone sold to slavery by his own brother.

"No!" he said resolutely.

Blink just raised his eyebrows nonchalantly. He leisurely chewed the food in his mouth then swallowed it down with relish.

"It's your choice," he said flatly like it didn't matter to him howsoever his brother-in-law decided.