Atrocious act

Chapter 5: Atrocious act

~ Era ~

"Hey, boys. Would you mind if I'm going to snatch Loki a little while?" I take glances at the boys, Luther, Jacob, Dave, and Elliot. But primarily to Loki.

I look at him with a stoic face. I don't want the boys to think that something is going on with me and Loki. I don't want them to guess. I look at Loki with perseverance. A need to talk.

They say communication is the key to every relationship. So, I'm willing to work our relationship with me as his step sibling.

They look stuck, the boys. Like they saw something astonishing. For a moment, all of them just look at me. My forehead creased waiting for their reaction.

"Did I stutter?" I ask them, just to be sure if they heard me loud and clear.

Then they all nod and gesture for Loki to stand up and follow my order.

Loki stands up. He looks attentive. He looked over his shoulder and look around before he fakes a cough. The moment he looked at me I said, "Follow me." then I walk outside of the cafeteria. I didn't eat lunch because I don't have the appetite. Disgusted by all the happenings today.

I mean, where did he even find all the confidence to say that to my face? How can he be so sure about it? And did he just say he is willing to risk it all? Including hurting our parents?

"Fuck." I said it out loud as I walk faster. I don't want to see him again with those pleading eyes. Is he out of his mind?

I can feel his presence following me behind my back. I wish he heard me curse.

Risking it all means that hurting the ones we love the most. I don't what to do if that is all it takes to be true to myself. To admit that I like him too. It was so long when I started to deny these feelings. If I can deny what I feel for him, if I won't lose my mind of not risking it all, I would.

I'm tempted. I wonder how it would feel when someone you like, like you too. Wondering how it would feel having those mutual feelings, taking care of each other. Gosh.

I shook my head dismissing those thoughts of madness.

Besides, I can take good care of myself without the need of anyone.

"Right," I murmured again, convincing myself.

Walking to the hallway where I feel like everyone's eyes are all on me even though there are only a few people in the hallway rummaging on their locker. I'm so scared to let everyone know what just happened. It's going to be a bomb. A big scandal. Those mad girls would probably get jealous of me. Well, they are always jealous of me, but not like me.

I'm wearing a high waist skirt tucked in long white sleeves. It enveloped the curve of my body perfectly making me feel somehow confident and beautiful. I need that confidence badly.

I take a right turn finding where the music room is. There.

Every Monday the music room is vacant so no one will budge to come here, no one will know what we are about to talk about.

I open the door motioning for him to enter first. He did.

The door has locked so it's very convenient when you are planning to do something scandalous. Like how we manage to do today.

I look around the room, making sure there is no one there except us.

The other side of the music room is filled with glass, so the sunlight is exposing the wooden polished floor. There was a grand piano at the corner of the mini stage, the left corner has a giant harp which is very beautiful to look at. There was a room backstage where all the musical instruments are placed.

In short, the music room was incredible.

"Era—"

"Shut up." I cut him off.

He gasped. The shock was very evident on his face. Now that the lighting is good, I can see his every expression.

I bet he doesn't expect me to cut him off. He expects me to give him more time to explain himself. But I don't want him to do that. I don't want him to insist on his feelings for me. To say those sweet words again. I don't want to hear any of it. But not because I don't like him.

Sadly, I like him that it pains me to know how far he can go just for me.

"Don't say anything absurd." When I said those words, he didn't speak, he didn't move. He stared at me with those emerald eyes. I saw a rainy forest. And it broke my heart to see him backing up, confuse and unsure of what I'm doing.

As the rain-filled his eyes.

For a moment I'm taken aback.

With those seconds passing by, no one started to talk. We just stared at each other full of our emotions. However, I blink and flushed out those emotions. I don't need those right now. I put up my barriers. Steel strong. I cleared my throat to make sure I won't falter when I say the words that we both need to hear.

He moves his hands to his pocket and faces the ceiling for a second before looking at me again with no emotion.

I'm scared. I don't want to lose him. Our friendship is one thing that I truly treasure. Honestly, I don't know if there are the right words to say because either I agree or not there would still be damage.

Either we will get real of what we feel for each other that both of our parents will be hurt knowing, or we will be aloof from each other. Denying how I feel for him that would hurt both of us.

"I don't want to hurt them." I started. My voice is so fragile, like a glass that can easily get broken.

"I don't want to hurt them too." He spoke. The agony he felt was recognizable to the tone of his voice.

"If you are rejecting me, please say so. Anticipation doesn't help it's just making things worse." He said coldly. He acts like it doesn't affect him, like rejecting him is nothing. His eyes are like daggers.

I know him. He wants me to think that he can handle the affliction. The anguish.

I shook my head. Breaking the bleak silence that enveloped us.

Then he stared at me boldly.

"I'm not rejecting you." The moment I say those words are the same, the moment my tears fell.

Dad, I'm sorry for committing this atrocious act.