Finding Love

The rest of the day was quiet, quiet and safe because of the absence of Lucian Black. Although he wasn't there, the whole school was buzzing, talking about his bike.

'First that Maybach, now a Harley?'

'That guy must be loaded!'

'You think he'd invite us to a house party?'

I listened to all of this with faint disappointment in my classmates. Wasn't it super obvious that Lucian Black was really... sick? Couldn't people feel the creepy crawlies when he came near? How could that possibly be translated into something mysteriously positive?

The sick, twisted things that he must have-

'Ellen'

really bad-

'Ellen!' I turned at the sudden shout and nearly jumped.

Jack Isle.

He was wearing his varsity jacket, the red and gold making his brown hair and light hazel eyes stand out more.He was the kind of guy who was lean and broad shouldered, the perfect amount of muscle - I'd seen it once during play offs in the Summer when he took off his shirt and half the football court swooned.

'Ellen... hey,' he grinned, flashing a row of perfectly white toothpaste teeth, 'I wanted to ask you something'.

By now, my heart was soaring. All the coldness that had seeped in from my previous encounter with Lucian had been erased, I felt warm again.

I felt so saved I didn't even correct him when he called me Ellen.

'Y-Yes?' I cleared my throat, stopping the stuttering before repeating in a more serious tone, 'Yes?'

A slight crease appeared between Jack's eyes before he grinned again, that boyish grin that made me feel like my legs had gone all pudding, 'Well, we have a bash this Friday, you know, for the varsity team and some cheerleaders'.

'Yes?' by now, my voice was sounding hopeful.

'We don't really know where it's going to be at yet but...'

'Mhm?' was this happening? Was this a sign? Was he going to ask me out? I pushed the niggling thought out of my head that he didn't even know my name. He could remember, at the party, on Friday.

'Could we maybe borrow some speakers?'

My heart fell with so much gravity I nearly face smacked the floor.

'I heard your dad works with some really dope sound company,' he nodded his head, making him look even better, 'I heard you have some great speakers just lying around so I thought, hey, Ellen could help us out'.

I just stared at him, gobsmacked by the entire situation. I felt angry, but more than anything - stupid for-

'So... could we borrow it?' Jack interrupted my thoughts and gave me that sheepish smile, the awkward I-don't-know-what-to-do smile. Maybe it was because I hadn't said much else and my face probably looked like a smacked arse.

Just before I popped a vein I magically wished out a smile, 'Of course'.

Jack's awkward face immediately vanished and that same old grin came out again, 'Wow, that's really cool of you Elle, thanks. Can you bring'em to school tomorrow? I'll pick them up by your locker,' he chuckled, gave me a wink before turning around, 'Ciao'.

I watched him walk down the hallway and into the cafeteria. Counted another ten seconds before facepalming my face with the nearest locker.

So much for our first talk.

Ellen.

I banged my forehead against the locker again.

☠☜◊✙◊☞☠

'You sure you don't want a ride home?' Charlotte peered at me through the windows of her mom's Sedan.

I tilted my head up at the darkening clouds above Peril High and shook my head with a smile, 'It's fine. My taxi will be here in ten minutes'.

My friend gave me another raised blond eyebrow, 'But Liz-'

'It's fine,' I cut in, giving her an encouraging smile as I gripped my bag closer to me under the umbrella, 'You go or you'll miss dance practice'.

Charlotte leaned back into the car and smiled again, 'Fine. See you tomorrow then'.

'See you tomorrow!' I waved them out when they left the school parking lot.

It was alright for the first few minutes, my fellow mates were being picked up by their parents as the weather worsened. No one wanted to walk or bike home at this point and I was starting to get cold, standing outside, waiting for my taxi.

I called the taxi service again but they replied saying that traffic jams were common on rainy days.

So I decided to go back inside and come out in another ten minutes.

I always liked to wander the school alone.

Hell, it might be creepy for some people. Seeing how only the janitor's there and they're mostly too grumpy to make small talk. The lights are turned off and it's as if you entered a different world. A parallel universe where school is actually incredibly, and utterly, silent.

I enjoy the silence.

I enjoy my peace of mind.

Really, when mama died it was such a fuss. There was so many noise I cried, and everyone thought I was sad, and made even more fuss around me so I cried harder. I wanted them to stop talking, stop moving their mouths, to just be quiet. I wanted to mourn in peace.

Whenever the taxi or bus was late I'd wander the school halls and just enjoy the silence.

Today, however, I wanted to check if the librarian was still at school.

Miss. Richardson was always smiling, always happy and I had had a few talks with the plump blond woman when she was free. She was really nice - one of those people who seemed to lead the fairy tale life they wanted. Miss. Richardson was a volunteer at the local hospital and a wife that made mince pie every Thursday for her parents-in-law, that was what I had deduced from the conversations we would have together as she sorted library books.

She had those crow feet, by her eyes, an indication of her bubbly nature. Sometimes I could hear her between the bookshelves, giggling like a little schoolgirl with her fellow librarians. She made me think of all things good and all things related to mothers.

When I pushed open the heavy wooden doors of the Peril High Library however, it was dark.

'Miss. Richardson?' I called out quietly before stepping in, feeling my shoes settle onto the clean wooden floors of the library, 'Miss. Richardson?' I called out louder.

The librarian desk was unmanned, it seemed that everyone had left but normally they'd lock the door to the library. I frowned but shrugged the thought away. Maybe someone was coming back later.

Despite Peril High's student scores, we weren't the brightest or the most athletic, the Library was stocked up to the ceiling. Rows and rows we had.

Literature, Religion, Math, Physics, Biology... I counted the rows as I paced over the huge room. At the very last one it read: Mythology.

Deciding to see something different than the normal romance novels I read I slipped into the last section.

'Ancient Grecians, Egypt...' I muttered, making my finger trail over all the thick books that seemed to carry so much dust they'd disintegrate with it.

At the near end of the bookshelf, closest to the wall my finger came over a leather bound book. One that had no name on its spine. I pulled it out and gave out an 'oof' when the weight hit my hands. Damn, this thing was heavy.

Holding it up, I blew at its cover and frowned as I struggled to read the words etched into the leather, 'Grand Grimoire'.

I tasted the word in my mouth, saying it over and over again like a lunatic. Had I heard it somewhere before? I opened it gently and heard the spine crack as if it were an old man with rheumatism. The pages were dusty but beautiful. There was black lettering and color but it was parchment.

I frowned, this thing look like it belonged to a museum. Not in a high school library.

I closed it, ready to shove it back in its place when suddenly withheld me from doing so. It wasn't my hand but my feeling, a small voice in the back of my mind whispered: Take a look. Take it home.

☠☜◊✙◊☞☠

My taxi was waiting outside, today I had a Mexican driver, and he made the funniest of jokes as he drove me home. To my dismay I only laughed at half because in my bag I could feel the book, and I felt a senseless hurry to go back home and read it.

I didn't even greet the maid when I came back. Sarah had stopped vacuuming, probably to greet me and ask me how my day was doing. Our usual routine would be to have some small talk before making dinner together but today I didn't even spare her a glance.

I skipped stairs as I ran up to my room, third floor, and locked my bedroom door.

Catching my breath as I leaned against the pine door I silently chastised myself for being so rude to Sarah. I'd have to make it up to her tomorrow, somehow.

The book felt heavy in my bag and I tried to ignore it for a while, and its pull on me.

My room was big, I had a walk-in closet, a vanity mirror that I hardly used, two bookshelves, a desk, and of course my favorite water bed.

I untied my shoelaces and kicked my Converse onto the carpet near the door before sitting down onto my armchair. It had been dad's but then he moved to a bigger office and I'd managed to convince him to give me his ''Boss Chair'' like I liked to call it.

Opening my bag I pulled out the Grand Grimoire and opened it on my desk.

In awe, I flipped the pages slowly, fearing that they'd somehow disintegrate if I were too rough.

The script was hard to read, but I could read it. It seemed like English to me.

Pulling open my drawer I got out my magnifying glass, something I'd bought at the zoo when I was small. A memory I was fond of because it included my mom.

At the front there seemed to be an index of some sort and I laughed when I saw what was on it.

'Spells, hexes, curses, trades..' I mumbled them softly. It must be some really old spell book. Maybe a unique piece in the cult world.

I felt a slight shiver as I spotted the word 'soul'.

Curious, and slightly terrified, I flipped the pages gently till I came to the chapter about souls.

There was a whole lot of looney about selling my soul, trading it, having it get eaten and God knows what else but there was one thing that caught my eye: Finding Love.

I read the passage greedily, devouring it as my heart pounded in my chest.

''A simple exchange for you to find your most beloved, or for them to finally realize you.''

I gulped, the simple exchange seemed to be a chant of words in which after the Devil would come and grant me my wish then take my soul. I was supposed to chant them, think of the image of my loved one in my head and then say his name.

My hands were shaking.

Something told me not to do this.

But something else told me to do it anyway.

It was just a book anyway, I whispered to myself, peering at the dark parchment. It was the 21st century for Christ's sake, as if the Devil would really appear.

I laughed, but it died out in a whimper.

Steeling my feelings I swallowed the nervosity that had seemed to overcome me.

'Let's do this,' I muttered, determined to overcome my stupid superstitions.

'Now, just stand like this,' I murmured, keeping an eye on the book as I stood up, 'Goat blood? Yeah right. No way,' I muttered as I read the exchange half-heartedly. According to the book, I had to draw some kind of symbol on my floor, spray fresh goat blood all over it then stand in the middle and chant.

Since I had no time for silly instructions, I just stood, holding the book in my hands and chanted what they wanted me to, 'To thou Lord of the Night I give my soul. To be eternally bound to thou and to offer thou my virgin spirit. In return I only wish for him to love me forever,' in my head I pictured Jack Isle in his varsity jacket, that stupid grin on his face, 'Jack Isle'.

I waited for a minute, then two but nothing happened and I sighed. Secretly relieved that nothing had happened. Putting the book down I ignored the fact that Lucian Black's face had appeared in my mind really rapidly next to Jack's when I was chanting and stepped away from the floor I was standing on.

'Elizabeth, dinner!' Sarah's voice traveled up and I turned off the lights in my room to head down. 'Have you seen Nyla anywhere?' the maid asked as she watched me come down the stairs.

'Hmm?' I frowned, 'Isn't she back yet?'

Sarah had a heart for shelter animals and was a proud cat mom to around six cats. None of them were quite friendly but she seemed to not mind the scratches. She often brought them around with her for work in the beginning, dad had fallen so in love with the tabby that he'd decided to adopt one from her.

'I let her out on the windowsill yesterday and she definitely had breakfast,' Sarah nodded to the empty cat bowls by the kitchen floor.

'I'm sure she'll come back,' I announced confidently, plopping down on a kitchen chair, 'She always shows up again'.

That evening I was haunted by Lucian Black. He stood there in the darkness and grinned at me, that cruel smile, that emotionless smile and then he came for me. I woke up screaming bloody murder and something about souls.

Nyla never showed up.