"No!! NOO!! You are not allowed to be angry Bennet!!" I shout then hiss to my self at once. My feet is pacing back and forth on the living room while I try hard to calm my rage brain.
"She has every right to do it with any guy she wants," My logic try to defense her. I know that, but still.. it doesn't reduce my anger. I've never felt like this. Angry, hurt, sad are mix into this unknown rage. Is this what they called.. jealousy ?
"AAARGH!!" I scream in frustration while pulling my hair. Are they done yet ? Is she satisfied with it ? NO! Don't look ! It may only hurt you.. But I have to look!! I wanna know is she satisfied.. is she happy with him..
I go to my bedroom almost turning it upside down to look for my thrown scope. It has fracture on its front mirror but hopefully it still works.
I march back to the window to peek through her dressing mirror. This scope has infra red feature so I still can see quite clearly in the dark. Which in this current case is not a good thing.
He is still on top of her almost not moving but her face.. deep frown, bitten lower lip, hands scratch his back. I can tell that she really enjoys it. And that put more fuel to my rage. I really want to kill that guy!!
With a long wide steps, I walk out of my apartment. I need to cool down my self. I remember Han taught me about walking meditation that works quicker to calming brain.
Impatiently, I push the Down button of the elevator for few times. I push it again more harshly when the elevator's indicator number doesn't change even after few seconds. I push the button again and again, but the elevator doesn't seem to move. WHAT THE F*CK ?!?!
I decide to use emergency exit, marching down from floor 17th to the ground. When I want to report to the receptionist about the elevator, the man is not on his place, also the front door man. This apartment is fucked up! The receptionist should be at service until 11 PM while the front door man must stands by 24 hours.
I open the front door of my apartment building. There I see my front door man is opening a back door of a limousine, with his white teeth shine through his wide smile to someone inside the car. He just stands there like a statue, waiting for whoever inside the car to come out.
I ignore him and start my walking meditation. Han said I must notice every step I make and all my surrounding. Well, it is way easier to talk about than to actually do it.
I can't make my brain forget about the vision of Jen making out with another man. Her expression is just swirling around my brain, making it raging more and more.
"Aauuch!!" I shout while try to balance my self for not falling. I just stumbled on something. I look to my back, curious about what stumbled me. A cat, weirdly, just stand on the pavement, doesn't move an inch, like a statue. Like ... Jim, my front door man ?
For the first time, I pay attention to my surrounding. It is 10 PM on Saturday night of a downtown area of a city NY. It should not be this quiet. The road is full with vehicle. But.. they are ... not moving ? What the.. ?!?!
I scatter my sight to all of my surrounding. Nothing is moving, I can't even feel a breeze of the wind. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME ?!?!?
In panic, I am quickening my steps and eventually running toward the temple. It is almost 10 miles away from my apartment, but I really don't think about the distance at all. At this moment, all I need is to meet Han. He must know what to do with this. I literally am freak out.
"Haan !!" I call the priest's name once I barge into the temple. "Han, where are you ?! Han !!" I call him again, running around the temple trying to find Han.
"Ha.."
"What do you think you're doing, young man ?!" someone scolds at me with his thundering voice. I turn my head, catching a silhouette of a man. He looks very old, yet his movement is still agile and quickly walk toward me.
"I'm looking for Han," I say to him.
"Do you know what time is now ?!"
"I don't care !!" I bark at him. Rude, I know. But I am freaking panic.
"Well, you should," the old man says firmly. I ignore his presence and just step my feet, about to continue to search for Han. But before I can have my second step, I feel a hand grabs my shoulder and twist my body to him.
I instantly grab his arm and try to hit his elbow from below. But he dodge it, and instead pulls my arm and swings me away to hit a wall.
I guess my rage is too overcome me until I don't feel any pain al though my back of head hit the wall very hard. Instead, I stand up and run my self toward him. when I am few feet before him, I jump and give him a straight forward kick onto his chest.
To my surprise, the old man doesn't dodge. At first I thought he is too dunbstrucked to dodge. But when I see his smile, I know he is not doing it on purpose. When my foot is merely an inch from his chest, he casually grab my ankle and effortlessly twist it so my body, of course turning 270º before hitting the concrete floor, chest first.
I cough and spit a bit of blood onto the floor before stand up again and in my stance. "Stubborn," he murmurs while shaking his head. I run to him then throw a series of my fast punches.
They are usually so fast that a normal eyes can't even predict their movement. But this old man, not only he can see the punch, he also can predict them before I move. What is more, he only defenses him self with one arm and a smile on his face.
"Aaaarrgh!!!" I shout while fasten my punches at him but he keeps them away from his body so easy.
At some point, he suddenly attacks me, but not with a punch. He only knocks his two fingers onto my neck area. All of a sudden, I can't move my body. and because I was about to kick him, I only stand at one foot. I try hard to put down my about-to-kick leg, but fail. I become a statue.
.