Unrequited Love
Miles stared at his phone screen in deep concentration. He was just staring at it unblinkingly as thoughts roamed around in his head not giving him a break.
In the phone, was a picture of Bella smiling as she spoke to one of her many girlfriends, she looked very happy and it was pretty evident from the smile she had on her face.
It was one of the secret pictures he had taken of her. He did such once in a while, after all, he could never get use to commenting on how beautiful she was.
He was currently on his bed, lying upside down as he zoomed in on the photo, viewing every angle of her smile. She was just perfect in all ways and no one could ever take her place in his heart.
He tossed the phone aside remembering the apology text she had sent him. She had apologized for leaving the school premises without him and had also said that it had something to do with her assignment with Justin Gray.
That explanation did nothing but fuel his insecurities. Could it be that she was starting to admire this Justin as well? Would he have to go through the pain of watching her love another while he watched from the sidelines?
No... Not at all. He had been doing that for three years now and he really didn't think he could handle it.
He really couldn't handle having her love another, it would be too much for him to bear. Considering the fact that he had watched her love four more other guys.
His love was unrequited, that he knew, but for some reason he couldn't get over her. Years of being by her side must have caused it but for some reason whenever he thought of giving up his feelings, she would do something that would make him fall in love with her over and over again.
His eyes stared at his phone lying few inches away from him on the bed. He picked it up and brought it to his face to stare at the picture one more time. Would he have to wait for her once again or should he just finally stop this silent loving and tell her?
He couldn't lose her friendship but he also couldn't watch her love someone else in his presence. His heart ached at the thought of all she would be doing with Justin at the moment and not with him.
His phone suddenly started ringing and he stared at the screen and his face just dulled at the name of the caller. Laura Dominique, his nice and too annoying girlfriend and also his cover for his secret unrequited love.
Girls like Laura made him look normal and they were also his distractions but no matter how far his relationship with them went, he still found himself craving Bella's familiar warmth.
With a tired expression, he answered the call as he listened to her silly rantings about her older sister Molly yelling at her for no reason, when actually there was always a reason.
♥♥♥♥
Bella walked behind Justin admiring the beautiful garden he had taken her to. This side of the mansion was actually admirable, it wasn't lonely but lovely as the fine greeneries made ones state of mind turn absolutely calm.
He led her to a huge big tree and he sat down on the grass under the tree with his legs curled while patting a space for her to come sit as well.
She let her eyes roam around the beautiful garden for a while. It had so many different flowers. Rose flower, sun flower and white lilies. She couldn't help but imagine what she would do in such a fine place.
Everything was so well taken care of that she couldn't help but marvel at the work of the house helps, they were hard workers alright.
She turned to stare at the wide tree he was sitting under and looked down at him. He patted the spot next to him once again and adjusted a bit from his space. She then made her way to him and sat down herself, folding her legs the way he did his.
" Your Garden is extraordinary", she said, a faint smile adorning her beautiful lips and he nodded, smiling along.
" Well it is where I'm most comfortable, the view is so magnificent and you feel connected to the world when you are connected to nature so...", he said smiling and she smiled more finally letting loose and speaking freely.
" You seem to be smiling too much today. Did you wake up on the good side of the bed?", she asked as she went through her phone for any text messages from Miles.
He immediately grabbed her phone and placed it on his other side not minding her shocked expression as he answered. " You can say that, but I thought I told you we came here for our assignment, no phones", he said as he stood up suddenly and then offered his hand to her.
She stared at the place he was just seated but her phone wasn't there. As if he knew what she was searching for, he removed the phone from his jacket pocket and showed it to her, his other hand still outstretched.
She then sighed taking his hand for support as he brought her up while she watched him shove the phone in his jacket pocket once again.
The moment his hand left hers, she found herself wishing he didn't let go. She watched him walk ahead of her and she immediately followed after him.
They went ahead going about till she saw another huge tree, this one had a bench. Just how big was the mansion?
She followed after him and occupied the seat next to him. This side of the garden gave a good view of the entire garden and she couldn't help but wish she could come here once in a while. The atmosphere was so peaceful and being under the tree made her feel warm and safe.
It was nothing like her lonely apartment downtown which she shared with two strangers that she once called family.
" Have you thought about your assignment? Do you know what you are going to write down?", she heard him ask and she turned to stare at him. His side view was very attractive and his black hair was spectacular.
" Well....", she started, not knowing what to tell him. " Isn't it obvious, I'm going to put it down that I wanna head off to college after highschool and major in business. Besides after my entrance exams into NYU which my dad is positive I will pass, there wouldn't be much of a choice for me anymore", she said softly, staring at the fine scenery in front of her.
She didn't want to think about her parents. They always made her feel sad and hopeless. Besides she didn't have a problem majoring in business, after all, she didn't want to end up failing and upsetting everyone around her when things go crumbling down.
" Annabella I know that you are scared of doing things your own way but I also know that the longer you hold onto something to stop yourself from falling, the more you will never ever be able to do something without fearing the outcome.
Sometimes it's easier to dive into something no matter the outcome, as long as you are sure it's something you want to do then the outcome shouldn't bother you, it's how to make what you want successful", he said and she just kept staring at his sideview noting down what he had said.
" I'll keep that in mind", she said softly and turned away from him. He immediately stood up and walked forward. " Don't stand up too", Justin said turning to her immediately. He watched her seat more comfortably on the bench and he smiled.
" I didn't want to do my assignment because I couldn't think about my future. I am just too scared to think about it because ever since childhood I had always loved planning out everything I did and it changed one time when things didn't go as planned and everything just crashed", he said, remembering how he felt the moment he was told he had brain cancer.
The news had come as a shock to him and when he got home, he had locked himself inside his room refusing to come out until he heard his mom crying in front of his door and he came out to see her.
He was just thirteen back then and to watch all his dreams for a crazy life in the future shatter in front of him by one word from a doctor, he had been so down.
He was smart enough to understand what it meant that he needed surgery to remove the growing tumors. He was smart enough to understand what it meant when the doctor said the tumor had regrown and he needed another surgery.
And everytime afterwards that he thought it was finally over and tht he could live life normally again, the tumor would regrow and he would have to face another challenge again.
" For once in my life, I don't want to think about how had the outcome would be if I picture a future for myself. If I end up failing I would at least know I tried but if I don't try at all, I know I would feel more worse later on", he said as he shoved his hands in his jacket pocket.
Bella's eyes were on him, staring intently at him with her usual harmonious smile on her face. He smiled back realising that it was the first time for him to share his feelings with just anyone but then again she wasn't just anyone, he thought within. She was a very special someone.
" I want to go out and view the world after high school, I don't want to head straight to college, college could wait", he said enthusiastically as he walked closer to her.
" I want to be able to connect with the world, interact with people, make new friends and feel comfortable, I want to do all these things Annabella, I want to do them all", he said smiling at her and she found heart warming up.
It seemed as though everything he said was straight from the heart. The smile on his face looked so peaceful and comforting but yet the look on his eyes were showing doubt.
' If only I could', Justin thought to himself, a solemn look flashed through his eyes but no sooner had it appeared did it disappear causing Bella to not be sure about what she saw.
" If it comes to a situation where I have to head to college, then I would love to major in English, I'm good in that aspect", he said chuckling as he stood staring at her and she smiled warmly at him.
He held out his hand for her as if to tell her to take his hand for support. She held it tightly as he lifted her up drawing her closer to him a bit before letting her go. And there again, she felt that loss, wishing he wouldn't just let go of her hand.
They started heading back to where they had come from and once she got to the roses side of the garden. She smiled sweetly at him and asked, " Can I have one of each roses? I want to remember my time here", he then smiled at her before putting his hand in his jacket pocket and bringing out her phone.
He switched it on and clicked on camera. He drew her to himself, lifting the phone up horizontally and in a selfie style. " Now let's both say, Justin's Garden", Justin suggested very aware of how close their proximity was.
He had his hands wrapped around her shoulders and her body pressed to his as they stood in the middle of the garden with all the roses getting in the photo. He was a bit taller than her.
Bella smiled softly and said along with him, " Justin's Garden", and Justin clicked snap as the picture was taken.
" Shall we go now?", he asked as he let go of her, her thudding heart finally coming back to normal and she nodded awkwardly, this time, leading the way.
Her face was hot and her heart was beating uncontrollably. She placed her hand on her chest and smiled softly when she felt how fast it was beating.
" You can have your phone back", he said as soon as they got to where his car was parked and she turned to face him, collecting her phone.
He opened the door for her as she got in staring at the huge and beautiful front of the mansion. The fountain at the center which had the statue of a lion as water poured out of its mouth.
He closed the door and hurried over to the driver seat. As soon as he got in, music started playing in her ears and she smiled realising she hadn't return his air pod and had forgotten about it as the music has stopped playing.
She didn't return it back as this time it was also the same song that was playing. She made a mental note in her head. One new friend and one new song to add to her play list, she thought smiling as he drove out of the mansion and into the road.
*****
Authors note:
Dear readers. I'm really sorry for the slow update but please if you enjoyed this chapter, do comment in the comment section. Everyone needs a little motivation once in a while, don't be silent and drop good comments. I'm doing my best not to let anyone down so don't let me down. Hoping for the best.