webnovel

The Book of Jocasta

[RESTRICTED] A son raised in a sex cult searches for his lost mother. ... In the bare echo of his mother's departure, Ethen at last tasted the unfamiliar savor of solitude, a sweet, tangy liberation he hadn't dared imagine within the confining walls of the life he'd been born into. But the new-found freedom is also frightening, and Ethen is able to discover things about himself he did not know. When his mother does not come back from a mission trip as scheduled, he sets out to find her, and begins a journey to find himself in the process.

Summon_Peace · ファンタジー
レビュー数が足りません
16 Chs

HARMONIA

Lukas: "There's no way I'm okay with this. He's our boy, our only kid. I'm not letting this happen."

Martha: (holding baby Ethen) "I just want what's best for our son!"

Lukas: "Yeah? What if we have more kids, you gonna make them follow these crazy beliefs too? What about a daughter — you gonna 'teach' her like you want to 'teach' him? That's sick. You'd turn her into another version of yourself, wouldn't you?"

Martha: "With how you're reacting, I don't see us having another kid together."

Lukas: "Well at least we agree there."

Martha: "That makes this boy even more important. He's gotta be raised in the Church and learn what we believe."

Lukas: "You're destroying this family with your obsession over this insane cult! Can't you see how wrong this is? It's all kinds of messed up!"

Martha: "I never realized a man could be so brainwashed by the patriarchy."

Lukas: "And I wish I'd known who I was marrying! If I'd known about this sick secret, I'd never have had a kid with you!"

She sees the anguish in his eyes. For a moment, her fury softens. She thinks back to their wedding day, how happy they were. But the Mother Goddess forbids compromise, if they are to change the world... she hardens her heart again.

Martha: "You knew about my faith when we got married. I can't turn my back on my people for you."

Lukas: "Knew about it? What's that mean? You think because we roleplayed some twisted stuff, I should've figured out how deep this went?

Martha: "The Goddess brought us together. Our connection, our chemistry — that told me we were meant to be. You gave yourself to me and my beliefs, even if it was unconscious. It was always there."

Lukas: "That's crazy talk. This isn't about our son or his well-being. This is for you! It's how you freaks justify your fantasies, hide it behind a bunch of holy bull."

Martha: "Are you even hearing me? This is my whole faith, my entire life! I can't just walk away from it all."

Lukas: "I'll call the cops. You're abusing our boy. You're grooming him for some sex cult."

Martha: "This isn't a sex cult! We follow the Mother Goddess and the Church, that's all. There's no difference between the spiritual and sexual, Lukas — surely at least I have taught you that much!"

Lukas: "Yeah, that's called a freakin' sex cult, Martha."

Martha: "You don't understand. You can't understand. You don't have the lived experience; you can't. You only see this through the lens of the patriarchy. You only understand this is in a bad light because that's all the patriarchy can make out of it. It's what it becomes in their hands. They've made a holy interaction into a vile fetish, raping the natural good into... into... whatever it is in your mind and your culture... something that causes horrible psychological traumas, because you only know it in a state of blasphemy. Outside of that framework, this is a good thing. It has been normative before. It isn't catastrophic to a culture. This isn't fate; you are just as religious thinking this method of education and raising is basically destined to produce mangled psychologies. Why can't you understand that?"

Lukas: "So you wanna make sex the most important thing for our little boy? Have that be how he honors some narcissistic goddess you all dreamed up?"

Martha: "I wouldn't call her narcissistic! She's divine! And our son will devote himself to her!"

Lukas: "I can't believe this. I thought you were joking until today. Seeing that church was a nightmare. Our relationship is built on lies. You stole my heart, trapped me and my boy, got what you wanted, then dropped this jacked up secret you've been hiding. And you've thought this way your whole damned life."

Martha: "I didn't trap you! I married you because I love you! I didn't say anything because I thought you'd bail. I couldn't lose you! I couldn't reveal it all at once, it would be too much. Don't you understand that?"

Lukas: "You believe a mother's love is unbreakable, unconditional, that it can handle anything, right? That nothing comes between a momma and her boy? Well, I ain't your son, and you sure as hell ain't my momma."

Martha: "And yet you must honor me like your Mother Goddess. I'm the most important woman to you. Or do you admit the supremacy of your mother over me?"

Lukas: "A household shouldn't favor one parent over the other. No one's the 'head' here. You thinking women are superior is as jacked up as misogyny."

Martha: "It's not favoritism! I gave birth to him. I did the real work bringing him into this world. Shouldn't I get respect for that?"

Lukas: "Oh, so I'm just a tool, right? I can't pop out babies, so you hold that against me? Like it makes me lazy?"

Martha: "I'm not blaming you! I'm just saying as his mom, as the one who carried and birthed him, I'm the most important person in his life. You still matter to me, I love you! But he needs to know women, and mothers, are what matters most."

Lukas: "That can be taught, but it doesn't have to be done this way. Doesn't have to cost our boy his innocence, his freedom to choose his own path."

Martha: "It's our faith. When you married me, you agreed our kids would be raised this way."

Lukas: "You think falling for you meant I somehow agreed to this madness? That us being compatible meant I'd be down with it?"

Martha: "You're my husband, so you've gotta accept how I was raised and what I believe, even if you hate it."

Seeing her tears, his anger briefly abates. He almost caves. But the image of his young son being indoctrinated stops him. He steels himself, refusing to compromise.

Lukas: "Tell me, why's it so important how a boy is raised? I wasn't raised that way, and I turned out fine. What's he missing out on exactly?"

Martha: "It's important because it's what our Mother Goddess commands. A son must love and serve his mother. His worth comes from honoring her. It's the only way to properly revere the Goddess and the Church. It is the only way to overcome the world."

Lukas: "Martha, listen close. You're not gonna lay a hand on that boy in the ways you're implying."

Martha: "How could you think I'd do something so awful to our son?! What kind of mother do you take me for?!"

Lukas: "It's clear we've got very different definitions of 'awful'."

Martha: "You're accusing me of the most horrible things! I thought you loved me! I won't accept this judgment. And I won't excuse our son from learning about the Church. I'm his mother — he'll follow the teachings. He'll worship the Mother Goddess, no excuses."

Lukas: "I've got half a mind to expose what you people do. You took one hell of a risk letting me in on your little club. Can't be the first man with this reaction — what happens to the others, anyway? But I won't let our boy be raised like this. Whatever it takes... getting you all arrested, whatever... I'll stop this."

Martha: "Expose us?! You can't ruin the Mother Goddess's name or the Church's! Our teachings are ancient, sacred! This is how society functions; it's been this way for generations. We've never brought harm to anyone!"

Lukas: "You're parasites, living off society's back while rotting it from the inside out. I'm sure a tapeworm feels fine about itself too, claiming it isn't hurting its host."

Martha: "That was uncalled for and unfair. I can't believe you're so against our Church. It's my whole world! Without it, I'm nothing. We bring love and comfort, not harm. So why try to kill us? What have we done to you?"

Lukas: "I'll see your church turned to ashes."

Martha: "How dare you! You'd go against our Goddess herself?! Our teachings are timeless and holy! Nothing I've said is a lie. If you can't accept that, you've no place in our son's life."

Lukas: "I'm taking him from here. You can stay in your twisted fantasyland. But he needs a father as much as a mother."

Martha: "Of course he needs his father too. But he needs me more - his mother's guidance. You'll never understand that as a man. Our Goddess is his foremost parent. We're not twisting him — just preparing him to properly love and serve his mother. Nothing more until he's ready.

Lukas: "This is insane."

She wants nothing more than to embrace him and find middle ground. But her faith has no flexibility here. She pushes down her sorrow, burying it under duty.

Martha: "It's all true, though you refuse to see it. The jealousy of men blinds you. Of course you're angry — what uninformed man wouldn't be? Your boy will revere mothers beyond all others, his mother first and foremost, next to the Goddess herself, and as the Goddess herself. You're jealous of what I can give him as his mother. I am focused on him now, not you, and it makes you jealous. You're not the star anymore. This is about our son. I'm doing what's best, teaching him right so he can reach his potential. A mother nurtures her son, a son honors his mother in service. It's only natural."

Lukas: "So any criticism or rejection of your cult constitutes misogyny? It's all because I want your attention all to myself?"

Martha: "No, it's all because your own mother never gave you what you truly wanted. She was ignorant of the Mother-Goddess."

Lukas: "I have never looked at my mother that way."

Martha: "But it is fate. It's a force of nature that can be suppressed, not denied totally."

Lukas: "Nearly every culture ever has though."

Martha: "Nearly. It's denial is universal because it is universal, as truth. The truth is vehemently denied."

Lukas: "We see the same thing opposite ways. Completely opposite."

Martha: "You are in denial. If you can't accept that this is how we will raise our son, then you leave me no choice. I will take Ethen and leave this place forever. You will never see either of us again."

Ranting at her contradicts his very nature. He craves peace between them. But picturing his boy taught her beliefs enrages him. He ignores his pleading heart.

Lukas: "You can't just take my boy from me! I won't let you twist him into something unnatural!"

Martha: "Then you must let me instruct him freely in our ways. Do not stand between a mother and child. Keeping Ethen in the church is my maternal right. If you refuse, we will vanish tonight. Swear to me now you won't interfere."

Lukas: "I'll report you both as missing! The police will hunt you down."

Martha: "Our people have ways of disappearing that you cannot begin to imagine. The choice is yours — agree to this, or you will never lay eyes on your son again as long as you live."

Lukas: "You would manipulate my love for my boy like that? What's wrong with you? I thought I knew you. This boy will never fall for your schemes."

Martha: "I will do anything for my child. Can you say the same?"

There is a long pause, each seemingly at the end of their available points. The tall ceilings of their living room collect and trap the echos of their shouts and sorrow, staining the space a deep black that cannot be dissipated.

Martha: "I never wanted this divide between us. Hurting you and our son is agonizing. But I can't turn my back on my faith...it's who I am. There must be some way we can work this out without losing each other."

Lukas: "Seeing how crushed you are destroys me too. I wish to God we didn't have to be at odds over this. But I can't stay silent while you induct our boy into something I believe is so wrong. Why does it have to come to tearing us apart?"

Martha: "I pray each night the Mother Goddess will show us a path through this. My devotion and my love for this family don't have to be in conflict...help me understand how we can have both, I'm begging you."

Lukas: "I've racked my brain trying to find a way we can both give ground. But it always comes back to the same impasse. I just want you two in my life...but not at any cost. If only I could make you see how this rips my guts out."

At these words, Lukas slides off his wedding ring. At the sight, and for an instant, she remembers their carefree early love. The dream fades. She clings to her convictions, shoving down whispers of compromise. Martha rips hers off too.