Chapter 13

"You haven't said anything about your birthday." Mom said.

"That's because I don't plan to do anything."

It was Thursday evening after work, I decided to go grocery shopping with the girls and mom wanted to tag along. I normally reserve my shopping for the weekends when I'm off, but the girls were running low on a few things and it was best to get it out of the way now.

"Why aren't you?"

"Because I don't care." I shrugged.

"Don't care? Ava you're going to be Twenty-Six tomorrow. That's a blessing."

"I know that mom and I'm so grateful, but with everything going on I can't focus on my birthday right now." I said.

I browsed the aisles pushing the shopping cart where Peppa sat quietly inside while Lily roamed freely through the aisles with me. She held onto the hem of my shirt as she walked with me.

"So that means you've come to a decision?"

"Yes, I've decided that I will tell Mason." I said.

"That's great." She smiled.

"You were hoping that I made that choice, weren't you?" I asked.

"Well, you know I don't want to intervene in the choices that you make, I want you to be able to make the best choices for yourself and your daughters..."

"And..."

She chuckled, "Yes, I was hoping that you made that choice."

"Do you think it's a good one?" I asked.

"Yes, I do. I'm not saying that it will be easy, but I think you must give him the benefit of the doubt. He deserves to know the truth."

"I don't want to regret it."

"Maybe you will, maybe you won't but at least you won't be asking yourself a list of 'what ifs'."

I watched Lily's fingers graze the jars of jam on the shelf slowly and tugged her away lightly. "Did you have any regrets about telling my father?" I asked.

"The only regret I have is him hurting you. I never wanted you to get hurt Ava, but I wanted you to learn for yourself who your father was, not from listening to old stories."

My mom was right, she never insulted my father in my presence. She always wanted me to learn for myself and she never took that decision away from me.

"At the end of the day the fact still remains, he is your father just how Mason is Lily and Peppa's father." She continued.

I scoffed, "Let's just hope Mason is more of a father than my father ever was."

Mom nodded her head thoughtfully, "You turned out just fine. Great actually." She said.

"You're just saying that."

"No, I mean it. There were days I watched you sat at that window all dressed up waiting for a man that was never going to show and the whole time I thought, will my baby heal from this. No child should have to beg their father for a relationship but despite it you've grown into a beautiful strong woman." She smiled.

It was getting harder and harder to control my emotions in the middle of the food store. Peppa was playing around with the cereal box that I placed in the kart and Lily was walking a bit ahead of us gazing at the snacks in the aisle.

"I don't want them to feel the hurt I felt, but I know I can't take that decision from them either."

"How did Royce take it?"

"I haven't told him yet and I’m afraid too if I'm being honest. He's going to react so badly."

"Why?"

"He told me to stop looking for him, he told me that we would get past this if I stopped."

"That's not fair." Mom said in disapproval.

"Can you blame him mom? A constant reminder of my mistake, the man I cheated on him with?"

"Why do you always defend him? Ava right is right and wrong is wrong. Calling Royce out on his shit doesn't mean you don't love him. Stop allowing your guilt from the past to cause you to be blind."

"What do you mean..."

"He is wrong for telling you to do that Ava. Mason is still their father and it's not like Royce jumped to sign any adoption papers, geez they call him Roy. He is wrong for telling you to do that when he knew he wasn't going to be ready for this step. These girls need a father not their mother's reluctant boyfriend."

I didn't respond as I continued to pick up items to buy. I just wish I could make her understand. I hurt Royce, I'm grateful that he even forgave me, and I don't want to push him. I'm trying to see my way out of this tunnel.

"I will tell him soon I just have to decide what's the best way to go about this." I said.

"Your boss."

"What about him?"

"He's the fastest way for you to get in contact with Mason. Tell him the truth."

My stomach quivered just thinking about it. I wouldn't even know where to begin. For a minute I was so lost in thought I hadn't realized Lily walking further away from us. I watched as she yanked a loaf of bread off the shelf and placed it on the floor before grabbing another one.

"Hey!" I called out. Lily froze instantly before her startled eyes met mines.

"Put it back now." I said.

Lily placed the loafs of bread back on the shelf never breaking eye contact with me.

"Get over here." I said.

She hesitantly made her way over to me quietly and I picked her up in my arms.

"If you can't behave, in the kart you go."

I placed a pouting Lily next to Peppa in the kart and continued my shopping. I knew Lily loved her independence, but now is not the time.

"I'm going to start potty training them soon." I said.

"That's great, you started around their age. What about getting rid of those cribs?"

"I think I'll save that until long after they've turned two."

I stared at them lovingly before continuing, "I just can't bear to see them grow up so fast."

"Well you better enjoy it while it lasts. Soon they'll be defying you, giving you lots of attitude and way too concerned about your personal life." She teased.

"Speaking of your personal life, how's Joey?"

"Wow you're actually asking about him?"

"Well I think I better get used to him sooner rather than later." I mumbled.

"Or you're just trying to distract me from going back to the Mason topic. It's cool, I'll bite. Joey is great. He's coming over for dinner tonight which is why I wanted to come to the store.”

"Where do you see this going mom? You and him." I said.

"Well, I don't know Ava it's too early to tell. All I know is that I like him, and I never thought I'd feel this way again."

I was silent for a moment while we waited in line to the cashiers. "Does that bother you?" She asked.

Did it? I was so used to it just being me and her. I never actually entertained the idea of her with someone else. She has devoted her life to raising me and give me the best life, is it so wrong that she wants to search out her own source of happiness?

"No it doesn't. " I decided.

The rest of the evening was uneventful. I made dinner for the girls and I since Royce was coming home late tonight. I'm happy that he's doing something he worked so hard for, but I miss him whenever he works late or has to stay overnight in another country. The girls nighttime routine took longer than usual because it was only me. After I finally got them down for the night, I took a nice hot shower before settling in my pajamas with a nice book. These days not even books can distract me from my thoughts. Every time I think I'm close to something good, some kind of acceptance, I'm sucked back into a never-ending portal. A portal filled with my night in Seattle, Mason and breaking Royce's heart. I was so afraid to hurt Royce and to watch him leave that I was allowing it to cloud my judgement. What kind of mother would I be if I kept my children away from their father?

"Goodnight."

My head snapped to the bedroom door where Royce stood casually. His face was relaxed with a small smile at his lips.

"Reading again?"

"It's what I do." I shrugged.

He stepped in the room and started taking off his uniform.

"How was work?"

"Long. I'm just glad to be home, plus I'm off tomorrow." He said.

"That's great."

"Do you know what tomorrow is?" He asked.

He crawled slowly into the bed almost like a cat waiting to pounce. "No, I don't believe I do." I smiled.

Royce snatched the book from my hands before tackling me suddenly. I laughed shocked at his change in attitude. He's been in a funk lately.

"What do you want to do tomorrow?" He asked.

"Um, go to work, come home and spend some time with you and the girls." I said.

Half of his body was laying on me lazily. "I have another thing in mind."

"Oh really? What?"

"Well I've already reached out to your mother so while you're at work, the girls will be with me and then spending a night with their Nana." He winked.

"Really?"

"Yes, you may not want to do anything for your birthday, but I can't allow tomorrow to pass without at least one treat."

"Aww, you know you don't have to." I said.

"I want to."

His lips found mine gently. He pulled me close as his lips moved slowly against mine. I wrapped an arm around his neck and sighed against him. I pulled him closer and suddenly I no longer was kissing my boyfriend but the lips of my stranger, Mason. He sucked my lips gently and moaned pulling him closer, my heart spiked. He pulled back resting his forehead against mine and his green eyes stared at me. I gasped shoving him away.

"Ava?" Royce asked.

I was no longer seeing Mason's green eyes but Royce's black ones. I sighed.

"What's wrong?" He asked concerned.

"Nothing, um I'm just a bit winded." I said.

"Are you sure that's the truth?" "What do you mean?"

"The last time you were this jumpy I found out news that nearly crushed me." He said.

My mouth fell open in shock, "you think I cheated on you?"

"I don't know what I think but I do know jumpy Ava is never a good sign."

He's right of course. My feelings always seem to betray me, and I can never pretend like things are okay. I'm in so much knots over this whole Mason situation that it's getting in between us. I pushed against Royce's shoulders, forcing him to lay against the pillows. He watched me with wary eyes as I laid my head against his chest.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry for how my actions hurt you so deeply. You know I'd never do anything like that in my right mind."

"I don't want to discuss that right now. It's done I'm over it." He said.

"Are you really though?"

An unfamiliar look came across his face for a moment, before I had time to analyze it his face smoothed out.

"Let's get some sleep baby." He said, his tone final.

I don't know how he will react when I tell him the truth, and I have to tell him sooner or later. The last thing I wanted to do was push Royce over the edge and I have a feeling that this might. The next morning, I was awakened by two little bodies jumping on top of me.

"Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you, Happy birthday dear mommy, happy birthday to you!" Royce sang.

I laughed and threw the pillow over my face, trying to hide from the girls.

"Happy Brbbay Momma!" Lily yelled.

"Appy Brddayyy!" Peppa said.

"Nooo, go away." I giggled.

They continued to jump and pull against the pillow until I finally relented. I opened my arms for my girls and showered them with kisses. My precious girls. I sat up in the bed and for the first time I noticed Royce standing with a tray in his hands.

"What's that?" I asked.

"Your birthday breakfast of course." He said.

He climbed carefully on the bed before handing me the tray slowly. The girls sat down intrigued with what was on my tray.

"Oooo, waffles, eggs, bacon sliced fruits and orange juice. Looks amazing hun, thank you." I said.

"Happy Birthday beautiful." He whispered before kissing my cheek.

"Happy Bibbay momma." Lily said.

I looked towards her shocked, "Wow Lily you said it so clear." I clapped my hands.

"I've been rehearsing it with them for nearly twenty minutes, it wasn't easy." Royce laughed.

I handed the girls a strawberry each and I started to eat. "Full day?" I asked Royce.

"Not really. I have a few things to do here, but I'll drop the girls off before you get home later." He said.

"Hmm, sounds like you have something up your sleeve."

"I've got a few tricks." He said.

The next few moments were spent eating breakfast in bed with my little family and for a few moments nothing else mattered. I found it harder than usual to leave for work. Maybe it was because of what I might do today or that deep down I knew that things won't be the same after the truth is out. I made my way to the office somewhat reluctantly. I tugged on the sleeve of my white blouse nervously as I entered the office.

"Happy Birthday!!!!!"

I was stunned speechless as my coworkers shouted and clapped at my entrance. I blushed shyly, touched by the gesture.

"Thank you guys," I said.

Everyone smiled and started to return to their work. Julia was the first one to approach me with a neatly wrapped gift. She handed it to me, and I took it from her gently.

"Happy Birthday." She smiled.

"Thank you, I thought I said no gifts." I said.

"Obviously I didn't listen, duh."

"Happy Birthday bitch." Cat said.

I laughed shocked, "what are you doing here?" I noticed she was holding a basket with balloons tied to it.

I glared at her teasingly and she pulled me into a tight one arm hug. "I know I know, you said no gifts, but you wouldn't let us plan anything so humor us." Cat said.

"Just this time," I chuckled.

"Thank you so much."

"I got word that the best assistant's birthday is today." I smiled turning to Caleb, who was also holding some sort of gift.

"Happy Birthday." He said holding out the small white envelope. I rolled my eyes before taking his gift.

"Do I even want to know?" I asked.

"Well, I'm no good at surprises so, it's a special Reynolds gift card. You or anyone you want to take can have a free full spa day at any of our hotels."

"Wow!" I said shocked.

"Oh my, we've got the best boss." Julia said clapping.

"Indeed, we do." I laughed, "Thank you Caleb."

"I think you've earned it. You looked a little stressed lately so don't hesitate to use it." He smiled.

"Oh, trust me, we won't." Cat smiled.

Caleb looked towards Cat like he just noticed she was there, and I watched as his eyes grew tender. "Catherine." He said.

"Caleb." She responded with a light blush.

Julia and I both gave each other a knowing look. I told Cat that Caleb was showing some interest. Maybe now, she can start to believe it.

"Well I've got to get back to school." Cat said breaking the silence.

"Okay nice seeing you again, I'll see you upstairs Ava." He said before turning to leave.

"Well that little exchange surely got my nipples stirring." Julia smirked. I jabbed her lightly with my elbow.

"What exchange?" Cat asked blankly.

"So, you seriously didn't feel that charged energy?" I asked.

"No, you guys are crazy." Cat said flustered.

"Funny, I thought I saw some spit on your chin."

"Shut it Julia." Cat said.

"Cat are you really avoiding this?" I asked.

"You can't talk about avoidance." She replied.

I rolled my eyes, "Soon."

They both looked at me, Julia in confusion and Cat in shock.

"No, later." I said mostly to Cat.

She nodded in understanding before handing me my basket, I took it in my free hand. "I've gotta head back, we'll talk later. See ya Julia" Cat said before leaving.

"What was that about?" Julia asked.

"I'll fill you in later, I promise. Help me carry these upstairs." I said.

Julia helped me to carry everything in the elevator. I felt a little uncomfortable by the attention but at least it wasn't a party. "I'll see you at lunch. It's on me." Julia winked.

I placed all my things on my desk and sat in my chair. I leaned my head against the back of the chair and made a small spin using my feet. The day is barely getting started and already I feel exhausted.

"Hey Ava?" Caleb said.

"Yes Caleb?" I asked lifting my head to look at him.

"I wanted to straighten out a few details before we leave for Seattle on Monday." He said.

And just like that, everything I was trying to ignore came rushing back. "Seattle?"

"Yea, I just wanted to clarify a few things. Come on." He said.

I reluctantly followed him into his office and sat in front of his desk quietly. "So, are we riding together or do you prefer to drive?"

"Oh, I can drive." I said.

"Okay, awesome. We can meet at my family's hotel in Seattle....What's wrong?"

I hadn't noticed that I shot up out of the chair suddenly. I felt the urge to hyperventilate rising and I quickly swallowed it down. The Family's hotel? This is too much.

"Ava are you alright?"

I closed my eyes gently and took a deep breath before facing him. "Yea, sorry I just...."

"Just what?"

"My mind kind of ran away from me." I said.

"So what? You're planning on catching it?" I sighed and quickly sat back down in the chair.

"Will you be staying in the hotel too?" I asked.

"Yes, probably."

"I thought you have some kind of family home down there."

"Well yea, most of my family lives there but that doesn't mean I go to see them. I stay at the hotel or with my brother."

My heart spiked, "Any reason why?"

"Why what?"

"Why don't you talk about them?" I said.

"The story behind that is too long, I'd rather not go into the glory details."

"Well, do you see them often?"

Caleb cocked his head to the side curiously. "What is this new fascination with my family?" He asked.

I gulped, "Nothing, um just curious." I stood up from my chair quickly.

"So, we'll leave on Monday morning and meet at the hotel, got it." I turned to leave.

"Hold it." He said.

I paused, "Yea?"

"I don't know who you think you're talking to, but I wasn't born yesterday."

I turned to face him slowly, "What do you mean?"

"You have been acting strange for weeks now and I was trying to discover when it started happening. I realized your weird behaviour started with your panic attack that you had in my office." My palm became sweaty as he continued. "You had a panic attack after seeing my brother, a couple days ago I caught you googling my family and now you're asking all these questions about them. Ava what is going on?" He asked seriously.

"Um, nothing I promise." I lied.

I started to move closer to the door and he quickly got up to block my exit. He leaned against the door with his arms crossed.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Normally when you get nervous you try to make a quick exit, but I'm not letting you run this time. Have a seat."

He nodded towards the big white conch and I slowly moved to sit down.

"Why the sudden fascination with my family? Should I be worried?" I twisted my fingers together nervously as my breathing came out in soft pants.

"Ava." he said.

"No, you don't have to be worried." I said.

"So, what is it?" He asked.

"Remember when you told me that I could come to you when I needed to talk?" I waited until he nodded before I continued. "Well, I need to talk." I said.

He grabbed the chair in front of his desk and sat it in front of me before sitting down.

"Well it's about time. Talk." He said.

Where do I even start? My legs started to shake slightly, and I could feel the beads of sweat forming on my forehead.

"Do you remember a Halloween party at the Reynolds Grand hotel a few years ago?" Caleb looked confused by the question, but he nodded anyway.

"The grand opening back in 2016, the hotel threw a Halloween party. Masquer..something."

"Masquermania." I said.

"Okay, what about it?"

"Catherine and I went to Masquermania to celebrate her birthday and my new job here. I was starting that Monday, so we decided to spend the weekend in Seattle at the hotel." I said.

"Did something happen at the hotel? I remember walking into you weeks after the party."

I nodded, "You can say that."

"Well, what is it?"

"Did you go to Masquermania that night or know if anyone in your family did? I mean Cat said it's rare for you guys to come to your own events.”

"It is rare. My family only shows their faces in a party if someone special is going to be there or if it's some kind of charity. Most of the time we are too busy working but yes, my brother and I went along with my brother in law. Mason was so caught up with work we thought he earned a night out and some male bonding time."

Confirmation. If I ever had any doubts about that night, they were quickly leaving by the second. "Well we went and I don't know if you saw us, but I think..... I met your brother at the bar."

Recognition slowly flickered in his eyes. "You two were the cat and bunny sitting at the bar?" He asked shocked.

"So, you remember seeing us."

"Of course, Mason wouldn't shut up about you but there was someone at his work trying to reach him, so I pried him away from you for a minute. I saw you. Damn you looked great out of uniform." He teased.

I blushed lightly before something registered in my memory. "Wait, you were the guy dressed like Jason?" I asked shocked.

Caleb laughed, "Definitely."

"Oh wow."

I stood from the chair quickly. I started to pace the floor because I couldn't keep still. I knew I looked Mason in the face, I knew he was their father, so why am I getting so worked up if Caleb confirmed it?

"What is it? Did seeing Mason jog your memory or something? Is that why you panicked when you saw him?" He asked.

"Caleb, I slept with your brother." I blurted out.

He laughed, "yes I figured that out once you told me it was you at the bar. He also told me that you bolted before he got out of the shower."

I stopped my pacing, "he told you that?" I asked shocked.

"Well, yea. I don't see the big deal. So, you guys slept together so what? Did you think I was going to be mad because I'm not. It was years ago and what you two did is none of my business." He laughed.

"Caleb..."

"What?" He looked clueless.

"Caleb, Lily and Peppa......aren't Royce's kids." I whispered.

I watched as what I was saying began to sink in. "Wait, what?"

"Lily and Peppa were born almost eight months after Masquermania, they were a bit premature. They don't belong to my boyfriend." My voice quivered.

Caleb stood up, "Ava what are you saying?" He wanted me to say it, but I can see that he already knew.

"Caleb, your brother, is the father of my children."