Thoughts

Thankfully, Chloe is a very understanding person. She's logical and would try to be more considerate than Heleina.

" If we tell this to Heleina, I think she might understand. I still trust you more than any rumors going around." She patched me up and excused me from school for the rest of the day. Being one of the smartest students in school, Chloe skipped the class that day and took me home. We hanged out for a bit and she went home before it gets dark.

I thought that was the last of it. But I was very wrong.

The next day, another group of fan girls tried to gang up on me. Luckily, teachers are around and they weren't able to do what they're planning to do. Honestly, if I am in the mood to fight back to these girls, I know I can manage. But I don't like to use my energy for him, who obviously isn't around, thank God.

Same as Karlee. He texted me and said that he'll be gone for a week. Just like that. And no updates after, why would he? I'm not his real girlfriend.

I want this peace and quiet moments, except about these fan girls. I'm losing my patience already and they keep blaming me about his absence. Jaz Ford's absence.

Heleina didn't talk to us anymore. Even Chloe tried to go to her place but she didn't let her. Heleina's ears are closed. She doesn't want to listen to any of my explanations.

"Chloe, you go ahead. I'll have to stay in the gym for practice. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Ok, Bye" Chloe left and I went back to the gym. I just want to do some practice and let off some steam. The anger has been piling up and I don't want to burst suddenly.

Band practice were canceled and no gigs for the week. This is the break I need.

I was just stretching when a group of Taekwondo girls suddenly showed up.

"What's your deal?" I asked. They didn't answer. Instead, one of them swing her arm towards my head.

I was able to dodge it a little.

"We will crush you!" Another girl swing her arm and gave me a high kick. I got hit on the face and felt a little dizzy. I must not let my guard down. I'll endure as long as I can.

But more of them arrived and started attacking me. I don't need to hold back because this is technically self defense.

But their numbers also affected me. If it's just three or five of them, it will be easy. But there's more than ten of them.

"Bitch! Stand up and fight. Jaz nor Karlee will be able to help you now." I was lying on the floor, clenching my fist and holding my belly. It was painful but bearable.

When they left, I stayed lying there. I'll just stay there for a while and rest. I don't want to go home like this.

I started crying. Tears fell from the corners of my eyes. I don't know what's more painful. Is it the bruises that I got from the beating or the pain in my heart?

I started singing. While lying there, crying, resting, I just thought that i should sing it out. Since no one is here. I'll just sing my heart out.

"Yes, I do, I believe

That one day I will be where I was

Right there, right next to you

And it's hard, the days just seem so dark

The moon, and the stars are nothing without you

Your touch, your skin, where do I begin?

No words can explain the way I'm missing you

Deny this emptiness, this hole that I'm inside

These tears, they tell their own story

Told me not to cry when you were gone

But the feeling's overwhelming, it's much too strong

Can I lay by your side, next to you? You

And make sure you're alright

I'll take care of you ----" I was cut off when I heard a clap.

"Wow! did you audition? Why didn't we see you--Jadis? Chrysler?" It was William Audi.

"Oh, hey. Did I disturb you? Sorry, I thought I was alone." I tried to sit up but my belly started to ache and my arms a bit sore.

"What happened to you? You seem beaten up" He helped me sit up properly and checked my bruises.

"Just some fan girls of Ford and Benz" I wiped the blood on the side of my mouth. Everything started aching now.

"I'll take you to the hospital. You don't look good."

" It's ok. I'm used to this now. It's been going on for a week. You never know, your crazy friend, Ford, might be behind this because I dumped him many times." trying to hold my ground and not fall again.

"Where's your boyfriend? Benz? Why isn't he here to protect you?"

If I can just tell him the truth, that there's nothing between us and Benz, but I can't.

"He has other stuff to do. He is out of school right now." I don't really know where he is.

"Hmm I'll call Jaz then if you don't mind."

"I actually mind. Don't call him. And don't tell anyone I can sing."

"Wha-why? I can actually hear your voice like our Dylan. You somehow look a like also. But she is more timid and calm. But her voice is amazing." he said. he helped grab my other stuff and took me to the parking lot.

"I know Dylan. She gave me Ford's letter before. She's really nice. But I am not interested in your band. I just want peaceful school days."

"Which is impossible because of Jaz. Why not try it out with him? He's serious about you", he's trying to persuade me.

"He's never serious with anyone. I'm a challenge that's why he wants to conquer me."

"I'm his friend. I know him well enough. If you don't try it out, you might regret it. Maybe I'll just push Dylan with him. She's shy but I think she's a good match. Except, Jaz only wants you."

"Why does he want me then? What does he see in me? Other girls are better than I am. In all aspects, I am below average. The only thing I am good at is Taekwondo. " I exclaimed. I somehow feel annoyed talking about him.

" Judgmental much? Men can also see more than girls flesh. I don't know about what he saw in you but if I heard you sing and met you first, and of course if I am not committed to anyone, I would also like you. You're strong, and you're determined. It's not all about the physical qualities. We also look beyond that. Maybe he saw beyond your physical qualities and loved that about you. You'll never know."

He's got a point. Am I being too judgmental about what kind of man Jaz is? But his reputation says it all.

"Maybe... Maybe not. But I won't sacrifice my heart for his games."

"Or are you scared that you might actually fall for him? HA! I'm talking too much. Are you sure you can go home looking like that?" he asked.

"yeah. "

He left me and went on his way. I stayed lying there for awhile more.

It was something to think about. Is it possible that he is really serious about me? Can I really fall for that guy? Or is he going to be rebound? What about Karlee, should I just stop having that fake relationship so I can also end this pain in my chest?

Everything starts to ache now. I feel my knees feeling sore and numb. My vision starts to get blurry. I want to lie and rest there before going home. I don't want my mom to get worried again.

It felt relaxing just lying there on the gym floor. Suddenly I can feel someone shaking me lightly. Calling out my name. I blacked out because of the beating.

When I woke up, I am in the hospital again.

A figure of a man sleeping on the side of the bed surprised me.