Summer Fun

The Malfoys were taking in every little moment they could over the summer. They wanted to create happy family memories before Hermione started back at work. This proved to be slightly more difficult than they originally thought. Mostly because there is not a lot of things that you can do with three small babies. The triplets were around 6 months old now, and Hermione and Draco were often found at the park or the zoo when they went out for their weekly outing. Most of the time, though, you could find them in the Malfoy garden playing with them away from the public eye. It was perfect, their own little oasis right in their backyard. Cissy loved it too because she loved sharing her garden with everyone. 

"Draco, what do you think about inviting everyone over next weekend for a big party?" Hermione had been pondering the idea for a while and thought it would finally be a good time. Everyone had finally had their children, and they weren't super small anymore, which would be nice. She missed her friends, and she knew that these types of gatherings would be less and less frequent when she started working. 

"I think that would be a great idea." Draco kissed his wife's head as she relaxed and thought up everything she would have to do this week to prepare. Later tonight, she would have to send out some letters inviting everyone. She would enlist the help of Cissy for sure; she would be able to through together a ball in a matter of hours if she had to, Hermione thought. She was so grateful she got along so well with the witch. They had more in common than Hermione had ever thought was possible. 

Later that night, Hermione put everything together that she wanted to do and wanted to invite. She would run it by Draco before she started writing out invitations, but she couldn't seem to find him anywhere. 

The children had been put down for bed an hour ago, so she knew that he wouldn't be in their rooms. They were wonderful sleepers and rarely got up in the middle of the night anymore. Where could he be? She was getting worried about him when she saw a light flicker from under a door she had never passed through before. In truth, she had never really thought anything of the door. It remained shut, and there were never any lights coming from it; she assumed that it was just there, that it didn't have a real purpose. 

She put her ear to the door to try and listen, and she sighed in some relief when she heard Draco's voice coming from the other side. She couldn't make out what he was saying, but she would know his voice anywhere. 

She hesitated to knock on the door; she felt a cold chill run through her body, telling her that she wasn't supposed to be there. But she needed to make sure that Draco was alright, which was overriding everything else going on in her brain. 

"Draco?" She said it in barely a whisper, but the flickering stopped, and she could hear movement from the opposite side of the wall. She waited to see what was going to happen, she was scared for the first time in a while, and she held her wand out in front of her. She felt as though she was going to have to protect herself. 

Draco soon threw the door open and looked straight into Hermione's eyes. She faltered for a minute. He looked horrible, like he had been beaten up and cursed with horrible things. 

"Draco?" She didn't know what else to say, what was going on that he wasn't telling her about. What was happening right under her nose? She tried to think back and figure out how long he might have been doing this, or was someone else in there too. Was he really not the person that she thought he was. She was completely frozen in her spot, not daring to move. 

"Hermione, I...." Draco was scared to touch her. He tried to rack his brain for some way to tell her without her hating him forever, "I didn't mean to scare you. I just...sometimes when I get overwhelmed..." 

He wasn't making any sense to her. She was more confused now. If she understood him correctly, that means he had done this to himself. The fear morphed into sadness. The type of sadness that she had never felt before. 

"You did this to yourself?" She was crying now; she couldn't hold it together any longer. 

All he could do was shake his head, yes. Sometimes when he felt as if the world was too much like he had not to be punished enough for his actions, or his days were too good to be true, he went into this little dark room and just let go of everything. He wanted to be happy with his family and not miserable, but he needed to let the anger go somehow. He only knew how to be self-destructive, and he didn't think anyone would ever find out. 

"You are supposed to come to me when your hurting. That is the deal we made. We help one another no matter what the issue. No matter how hard." Hermione sunk to the floor sobbing. How could she not have seen her own husband suffering like this? How had he wanted to keep something like this from her? She was supposed to help him and make sure that he was alright, just like he was supposed to help her and make sure she was alright. 

"I didn't want you to know Hermione because I didn't want you to worry about me. To analyze everything I ever said. I had to figure it out on my own. I didn't know if I was ready to talk about it." Draco pulled her close to him, rocking her back and forth. He didn't think by hurting himself he was going to hurt her too, and now he regretted it immensely. He never wanted to hurt her. He just wanted to show her love and kindness. Everyday. 

"Hermione I... I am so very sorry, you are right. I should have come to you when I was unhappy. You have to know, though; it wasn't our family that wasn't making me happy. It was the opposite, actually. I felt so happy that I felt ashamed that everyone has just forgiven me and didn't suffer for everything I did. I felt horrible having such a good life now when so many who deserved that life were killed." Draco tried to explain it the best he could. 

"Draco, you have suffered plenty, and you do deserve a good life. People forgave you because you earned their trust, and they didn't give that away easily. Please don't hurt yourself like this again. Please come to me so I can try and help. I would do anything for you, Draco. I would drop anything to make time for you if you needed me. Please understand that. I never want to see you like this again. I just felt as I have never felt before. Like someone was ripping my heart out when you came out of there so hurt, so in pain." Hermione had tried to stop crying, but she could feel the tears start to well up in her eyes again. She wanted to forget that picture of him forever. 

"I promise Hermione," Draco kissed her forehead and pulled her in close to hug her. He felt horrible for making her feel that way. He had to stop this; he had to get help. 

They were walking back up to their room when Hermione remembered the long list that she had made. It wasn't in her hand anymore, and she didn't particularly want to go back down and find it. She was going to have to find it in the morning and remember everyone on the list tonight. Hopefully, she wouldn't forget anyone. 

"Draco, do you care who I invite to this party?"

"No dear, not at all, anyone you want." 

Hermione sat down to start writing out the invitations. She felt exhausted from the last hour of crying, and she didn't know how many of these she would be able to get done. She tried to remember everyone she had and decided instead to make a new list and get up early to do all of the letters. 

Hermione knew that this couldn't possibly be everyone she had written down. She wondered who was forgetting and couldn't come up with anyone else. Perhaps this was it, and when she found the other paper in the morning, if she left someone off, she would have to write them a letter sometime tomorrow.