Chapter 8

Lilly

It would be hard to tell if that pup would make it or not. Me being here around the both of them made Grace's chances of having that pup slim to none.

But that was selfish of me, wishing for a life to be taken away so I could be given a chance.

It would crush Zain, losing his pup no matter who the mother was.

I don't want that for him, I couldn't.

A finger pressed under my chin which brought me out of my thoughts, angling my face up to his. It sent pleasurable shivers through my heart, a fire burning within.

My insides clenched at his touch, that one finger on my flesh sending shockwaves throughout my body, all the way to my core. I felt it there.

A need.

Once my red-rimmed eyes were back on his own hooded blue ones, his hand left me, leaving a trace of numbing cold in its wake as he inhaled, eyes closing, taking in my scent.

I couldn't help but to want his touch back on me.

I felt the wolf within me send out her instincts to lean toward him, but ignored it, I had to.

If I acted on how I was feeling, it would be my wolf's fault and I could not stand to feel more shame than I already do.

He shook his head out of the trance. I felt his pain.

His lust, just as he felt mine.

"She's upset that I refuse to mark her. Upset because I doubt the outcome of this pregnancy," he spoke up as he kept looking into my eyes.

"She's jealous of you because she knows I feel everything for you and nothing for her. I don't know what will happen between her father and me, but I'll leave her without honor for your sake. I don't love her. She never was anything to me, just a mistake and I haven't touched her since that night. I won't touch her again," he said as if it mattered anymore, but it was comforting to my wolf to know.

I closed my eyes, thankful for his honesty and the fact I was wrong about what I had seen that day out of my window but that didn't mean I would offer him myself.

I wouldn't wait around and be his backup plan.

The knot in my stomach slowly unwound, offering me a solace of comfort, relaxing my organs- which had been so tense at his expense.

"Zain," I called out his name softly. "What are you going to do if the pup is born?" I asked a question he didn't know the answer to.

And he let out a breath that warmed my skin, allowing tingles to spread where it had hit.

Those bloodshot blue orbs seemed hollow now as the sunlight danced between the leaves overhead, flecks of light shrinking his pupils.

"I haven't thought it through yet, but I'll have to raise my pup with her nearby while he's young, It's only right I do," he said as his shoulders fell in defeat and as he ran his hand through his hair.

"Where? I'm not sure but me being the future Alpha, I need to stay here. She will never be my mate, our pup would inherit her father's territory, as she is his only child, I'll allow it," he continued saying. "I have thought a little about it, when the pup is 10, they would be expected to live at Blue Moon pack with Grace to go through their rigorous training and would be spending summers here with me and that would be the best outcome. Maybe one day she would find her mate and he would understand her situation. I know it breaks you for my first child not to be yours. It breaks me too but you are my gift. I can't just not acknowledge that," he added and I rolled my eyes as I shook my head, already feeling like he was making me his backup plan.

Did he think I would just wait for his plans to unfurl? I have a life too and I need to live it.

"It's not fair for me to even ask you to wait for me, and I'm not, but I'm telling you that I won't mark her. She won't be my mate. I don't know what could ever happen between you and me, but at least you have that," he spoke again as if he had read my mind.

I sniffed as tears formed in my eyes yet again.

We wouldn't know what would happen If she would miscarry or if the pup would survive or not.

Her pack was trying to force the bond but Zain said he wouldn't give in to that.

He was leaving that open just in case. He cares about me, I know he does. He wants me as his mate just as much as I want him, but he wouldn't let himself do that to me and I wouldn't let him either. He was showing me respect and I was grateful for it.

A hand covered mine, warmth spreading through my body from the place he touched.

I wish he was mine.

His movement ceased by the scent of gardenias impregnating the air around us as a sound sounding like muffled sob followed.

His eves widened as did mine before we both turned, seeing Grace towering over us as tears streamed down her face, one hand over her mouth, the other on her flat belly.

She looked helplessly at him, eyeing me up as if I took something from her.

"Grace... I'm-" he started saying but didn't know what to say.

I watched the tall lanky woman standing twenty feet away, her long blonde hair perfectly curled and makeup harsh among her pretty face and I could see how black streaks of mascara stained her cheeks.

Her brown eyes glanced between Zain and I but my eyes held no remorse for her.

Who doesn't know their heat is coming?

I felt cold toward her.

She begged my mate to mark her, knowing I'm his. She encroached on my territory first.

Grace's shaky hand moved from her mouth as she squared her shoulders, hands wiping fiercely at her eyes to rid herself of the tears.

"Zain," she called out. Do you refuse to mark me?" She questioned him admit tears, "but I'm carrying your pup! She" she yelled as her voice broke and she gestured toward me wildly, "she is just a teenager, she's 18," she finally said and I could tell from her voice how sad and heartbroken she was.

Zaryn dropped his head as he spoke up. "She's my mate Grace, my true mate."

"You are only carrying my pup because of a one night mistake that should have been prevented," he said again as the last word were accusing.

His words hurt, I was sure and I know they must have stabbed through her heart with the intent on hurting.

His jaw had clenched when she spoke of me and now he was repaying her.

He wanted me, he needed me.

Walking forward a few steps, she glared at me and I watched with intrigued eyes.

This was my spot and I didn't feel out of place here but I doubt her heart was really broken.

It was just her pride.

No one can fall in love with someone from a one night stand- not a wolf anyway. That wolf pines for the mate they have out there in the world.

"You'd choose her? Leaving the option open for her to mark you over the mother of your pup!?" She let out as a low growl rumbled through her chest, vibrating the air.

Zayn's burning gaze became unbearable, a growl also emitting from his own chest, effectively silencing her.

Her jealousy was apparent.

"Stand down Grace, this is not your pack and you have no rank here. Do not even think of challenging anyone, especially in your condition! You would be killed on the spot if you do and Lilly's wolf won't tolerate you," he growled out.

Even his growl had my head bowing. An alpha growl has that effect, even a future one.

He kept going as he rose from the ground, his harsh glare making her tale a few steps away.

"You know as well as I do that you have a 50% chance of miscarrying or having a stillborn!" He yelled at her. "With my having a mate here, it's even less than that! You have a mate too, you just haven't found him, the moon isn't so kind to parents like us," he said to her and I was sure his hurtful words stabbed right through her again, but for me...

For me, they brought hope.

And as malicious as that sounds, if the pregnancy failed, she would go on her way, leaving our lives for good and we could be together but I would have to learn to trust him.

He's been so honest with me thus far. Would i be with him if she was out of the picture?

That I wasn't sure of.

Her glare turned icy.

"We will see what my father thinks about that," she let out as she rose a brow, a smirk on her lips as she turned on her heel earning a threatening growl from Zain, causing her to pick up the pace as she ran.

Zain's anger left my body in a whirlwind of excitement, feeling how powerful he was. My wolf purred in my mind, loving the strength of her mate. She wanted to go after that she-wolf and teach her a lesson.

He glanced down at me briefly. "I'm sorry Lilly," he says apologizing.

"So sorry but now you know. Please.. Please think about what I've said," he begged but I didn't respond.

I barely talked this entire time as I just listened and took in his words.

He leaned down to kiss the top of my head before running away, leaping into the air as he shifted, shredding clothes in his wake. His large wolf howled, chasing after Grace with a point to prove.

I felt excitement shifting within me as I watched how quick he was on his feet.

Pregnant or not, he would teach her her place. A little scruff biting for submission wouldn't hurt the pup that may or may not make it out of this alive...

I may be a sadistic bitch to some who knew my thoughts, but I couldn't help but want things to work out in our favor, my favor.

Even when it came to the life of a young pup, I was being selfish.

I'm heartbroken and I'm selfish.

She wouldn't replace me.

Couldn't replace me.

I couldn't be with him if he had that pup... I couldn't. I would have to move on...

And it would destroy me.

Who am I?

Am I Zaryn's mate? The future Luna?

Am I a scorned she-wolf?

Or am I something else entirely that I haven't even realised yet?

The pain was real, but something inside me was telling me to find out who I am and not to wait on him.

The wolf though, she will always choose her mate.

She wanted me to end Grace, take her out.

What would I do?