35. Chapter 35

“Ok,” Carina said, putting her food down, immediately going to Andy’s side, “I will take you to an exam room and see what’s going on.”

“I’m bleeding Carina,” Andy said, tears spilling over, “What else could it be?”

“There are other things,” Carina said, putting a hand on Andy’s back, “Let’s not panic yet, ok?”

“Maya, can you come?” Andy asked, looking at her best friend, “Please?”

“Yeah,” Maya said, hitting the call button to get a nurse to come help.

“Yes,” the nurse said, coming in.

“Can I have a wheelchair please?” Maya said as Carina helped her move across the bed.

“I’ll be right back,” the nurse nodded, leaving the room.

“Andy, are you having any cramping?” Carina asked, staying close to Maya to make sure she didn’t fall when she stood up.

“Um, some,” Andy said, sniffling, “Just a little bit.”

“Ok,” Carina said, handing Maya her cane, “Are you having any other symptoms?”

“I…no,” Andy said, “I don’t think so.”

Just then, the nurse came back in.

“Going out on another adventure?” the nurse asked as she helped Maya sit down.

“Something like that,” Maya said as Carina got her IV pole to bring with them.

“Alright,” the nurse said, “You’re good to go. Carina, are you going to push her?”

“Si,” Carina nodded, “Grazie.”

The nurse left, Carina grabbing a blanket and pillow for Maya before looking at Andy.

“Ready?” Carina asked.

“I…Not really,” Andy said, biting her lip, trying not to break down.

“Do you want me to call Robert?” Maya asked, reaching out and grabbing her friend’s hand.

“Um…” Andy said, “I don’t know…can we wait?”

“Of course,” Carina said, nodding, “We can do whatever you want.”

“Let’s go,” Andy said after a minute of just standing there holding Maya’s hand.

The three of them headed down the hall to the elevators, making their way to the OB floor as they got into the elevator, Dr. Bailey was standing there.

“Bishop-Delucas,” she said, “Look at the two of you out and about. And Herr…Andy, what’s going on?”

“I…I’m bleeding,” Andy said, tears falling down her cheeks.

“Wha…oh,” Bailey said, it taking a second for her to remember that Andy was pregnant, “Oh Andy. It’s going to be ok. Let me come with you.”

“You don’t have to do that,” Andy said, trying really hard to not cry.”

“I want to,” Dr. Bailey said, “When I…when I was pregnant and then wasn’t anymore, your dad was the one who held my hand. Consider it an act of honoring him.”

Andy nodded, tears streaming down her cheeks again.

“Here we are,” Carina said, pushing Maya out of the elevator as Andy and Bailey followed behind.

“Alright,” Carina said, quickly starting to get the room ready, “Andy, here is a gown. Bailey, can you go get me a doppler and an ultrasound machine please?”

“Of course,” Bailey nodded, squeezing Andy’s hand before leaving the room.

“Alright,” Carina said, turning to Andy, “We can step out so you can change. You only need to undress from the waist down.”

“Can…Can you stay?” Andy asked, voice shaky, “Please?”

“Of course,” Maya said, reaching out and putting a hand on her friend’s back, “We are right here for you, ok?”

The Latina nodded, putting on the gown over her shirt before pulling down her pants, letting out a small sob when she saw the state of her underwear.

“I promise you I am going to take care of you Andy,” Carina said, picking up the clothes and moving them to the side.

“We are all here for you,” Maya said as her friend climbed up on the exam table.

“Here is a blanket for your lap,” Carina said, handing Andy the cloth, “Now, just lay back, ok?”

Maya, luckily, was in the right place and reach over, grabbing Andy’s hand. There was a knock at the door, Bailey coming in with the requested items.

“Alright,” Carina said, grabbing the doppler first, “I am going to try to find a heartbeat first, ok?”

Andy nodded as Bailey walked to the other side of her, taking her hand. It felt like everyone held their breath as Carina put the doppler on Andy’s belly, moving it around a little before her face lit up as a loud noise started coming out of the machine.

“There is the bambino,” Carina said, letting the noise fill the room.

“The…There’s a heartbeat?” Andy said, tears filling her eyes.

“Si,” Carina nodded, leaving the doppler where it was so Andy could hear her baby, “That is a nice, strong heartbeat.”

In that moment, Andy broke down into full blown sobs, Maya squeezing her hand tightly as Bailey ran her hand up and down her arm, everyone collectively letting out their breath.

Carina just kept the doppler in place for a minute to reassure Andy that the baby was ok before removing it, Andy still sobbing.

“I…I thought…” the Latina stuttered through her tears, “I thought I lost it. I really thought I lost my baby.”

“But your baby is ok,” Bailey said as Carina handed her some tissues for Andy.

“I would still like to do the ultrasound if it is ok with you Andy,” Carina said, looking at her, “Because even though the baby is ok, you are still bleeding and I need to see why.”

“Yeah,” Andy nodded, trying to stop the tears, “Yeah, go ahead.”

“Ok,” Carina said, “This gel is going to be a little cold.”

Andy winced a little as the cold gel hit her belly.

“Sorry,” Carina said, moving her wand around before turning the screen, “Here is the bambino. Nice and healthy for just about 10 weeks. And do you see this right here? That is what is cause the bleeding. You have a subchorionic hematoma that has decided to bleed.”

“Is it dangerous?” Andy asked, “Is it going to hurt the baby?”

“It does slightly increase your change of miscarriage,” Carina said, immediately hearing Andy gasp, “But, the good news is, everything about this pregnancy makes it pretty unlikely. You are young, over 8 weeks pregnant, and the bleed is fairly small. Some research even suggests there might not be an increased risk. I know it looked like you were bleeding a lot, but it is already almost stopped which is another good sign. I will keep an eye on the hematoma, but it is not in a very concerning location.”

“What does this mean for the rest of my pregnancy?” Andy asked, a million questions running through her head.

“I want you to take it easy for a few days just to make sure the bleeding stops,” Carina said, snapping a few pictures of the baby before removing the wand from Andy’s belly, “And other than that, not much.”

Just then, Bailey’s pager started going off.

“Oh,” she said, “I’ve got to go. There’s some emergency in the pit. Herrera, I am glad you and your little one are ok.”

“Thank you for staying Bailey,” Andy said, sitting up, “It really means a lot.”

The chief of surgery just nodded, leaving the room.

“What could have caused this?” Andy asked, “Like, did I do something?”

“No,” Carina said, shaking her head, “Often, this is just a random event. There is a chance that the accident could have caused it, and while I didn’t see it on the scan then, it is possible it was just starting then. But it also could have just been a random event.”

“Ok,” Andy said, playing with the hem of the blanket on her lap.

“I printed some pictures of the bambino for you,” Carina said, handing the scan pictures to Andy.

“Thank you,” the Latina said, offering a watery smile, “Um, I guess I should put my clothes back on. Although, Carina, does the hospital have any kind of underwear for emergencies like this?”

“We have mesh underwear for our postpartum mammas,” Carina said, “I could get you some of those.”

“It’s better than nothing,” Andy said, “Thank you.”

Carina stepped out of the room, Maya looking at Andy.

“You doing ok?” the blonde asked, her hand still holding her best friend’s.

“I think so,” Andy nodded, rubbing at her eyes which were now very swollen from all the crying, “I…I just thought I had lost the baby and I just couldn’t imagine having to tell Robert. He is so excited to be a dad and he would have been so mad at me if I had lost the baby. He acts like I don’t care as much about the baby as he does and if something had happened to it, that would have just made him think that more.”

“No, he wouldn’t,” Maya said, having never been Andy’s husband’s biggest fan but knowing he was better than blaming his wife for a miscarriage, “Even if you had lost the baby, it wouldn’t have been your fault. You care about this baby so much. I know you do and he knows you do.”

Andy just bit her lip, not looking at Maya.

“Listen to me,” Maya said, cursing her body that it wouldn’t and couldn’t move how she needed it to, “Andy, none of this is your fault. That baby is just fine and you are fine and even if that wasn’t the case, it is not your fault. You can ask Carina. Sometimes, things like that just happen.”

Andy just let out a small sob, Maya not able to take it anymore. She grabbed the pillow, holding it to her stomach as she forced her achy body out of the chair, standing up and awkwardly wrapping her good arm around her best friend. Andy didn’t even think, she just wrapped both her arms around Maya, pulling her closer as she sobbed. It did not feel great on any of Maya’s injuries, her broken ribs aching and her abs burning as she hugged Andy.

“I have the…” Carina said, walking back in, stopping when she saw the sight in front of her.

She quickly moved around so she could see her wife’s face, knowing immediately that Maya was in some pain. However, as the Italian caught her wife’s eyes, she knew from the look that whatever was going on was more important than the pain she was feeling.

After a minute, Andy pulled back, wiping her eyes, Carina immediately getting behind her wife as she saw her waver a little.

“I’m ok,” Maya said quietly, seeing the concern on her wife’s face.

“Andy, here are the mesh panties,” Carina said, handing them to the Latina.

“Thanks,” Andy said, taking the strange looking underwear from Carina, “I wasn’t expecting to wear these for a long time.”

Andy stood up, pulling on the underwear under the gown as Carina slowly helped Maya back to her wheelchair.

Once Andy was dressed and Maya was seated, they headed back down to Maya’s room. Carina helped Maya back, seeing how exhausted her wife looked. However, the Italian could tell that Andy wasn’t ready to leave yet which was fine.

“Andy, can I get anything for you?” Carina asked as she got Maya’s IV pole back in place.

“I’m ok,” the lieutenant said, rubbing her eyes.

“I am going to go heat up my food in the nurses lounge down the hall,” Carina said, feeling her hunger return when she saw her food sitting on the table, “Is that ok?”

Maya nodded as the Italian leaned over, giving her a kiss. Truthfully, Carina probably could have waited for food, but she wanted to give Andy the space to talk to Maya more if she needed to. She wasn’t thrilled about leaving Maya, but it was only for a few minutes and she knew it was something the friends needed.

“I won’t be long,” Carina said, grabbing the containers from the table.

Once Carina left, Maya looked over at her friend who looked shattered.

“Come here,” Maya said, patting the side of the bed Carina was normally on.

“It’s ok,” Andy said, sniffling a little, “I should probably go home.”

“Come here please,” Maya said, raising her eyebrow at Andy.

The Latina got up, crawling into the bed next to Maya, the blonde wrapping her arm around her friend.

“The baby is ok,” Maya said softly as she felt Andy shaking next to her, “And I know this was probably scary as hell and however you feel right now is completely ok, but just remember the baby is ok and you are going to be ok too.”

Andy nodded a little, feeling the tears flowing down her cheeks again as Maya was just there for her. They sat there for a few minutes, Andy just crying as Maya comforted her.

“Do you want me to call Robert to come get you?” Maya asked after a little bit, fighting a yawn, “You don’t have to go if you don’t want to, but if you do want to go home, I don’t think you should drive. You are physically shaking right now.”

“I probably should call Robert,” Andy said, suddenly feeling very tired after the day hit her all at once, “I could probably drive myself home though.”

“No,” Maya said, “No driving like this. You are not ok, and that is ok, but you are not driving tonight. If you aren’t ready to talk to Robert, we can text Vic or even Jack to come get you, but you cannot drive like this.”

“I’ll text Robert,” Andy said, pulling out her phone, “I’ll just tell him I’m too tired to drive. I don’t want to freak him out.”

“Ok,” Maya nodded as Andy started texting her husband.

Just then, Carina walked back in. When Andy saw her, she immediately moved to get up.

“No,” Carina said, sitting down on the couch, “Stay there. I am going to eat and the couch is better for that anyway.”

Maya knew Carina was just fine eating in bed, but she also saw that she was trying to help Andy feel comfortable. Andy nodded, just staying where she was in the bed, letting her eyes slip closed.

“Thank you,” Maya mouthed as she caught Carina’s eyes, the Italian nodding as she took a bite of her food.

Within five minutes, Maya heard Andy snoring next to her.

“Robert is coming to get her,” Maya said, yawning a little bit, “She is worried he is going to blame her for what happened tonight. She thinks he thinks she doesn’t care about their baby.”

“I can talk to him,” Carina said, “Nothing that happened was her fault. And she does need to take it easy for a few days, but after that, she can do what she was before. Obviously, I have to ask her if I can talk to him about tonight.”

“I’m sure she could be ok with it,” Maya said, wincing a little as she shifted.

“You are hurting,” Carina sighed, seeing it written all over her wife’s face.

“Some,” Maya nodded, “More than I have been. I’ll get pain meds before bed.”

“I think you are going to fall asleep soon Bambina,” Carina said, raising an eyebrow as Maya yawned again.

“I am not,” Maya said, shaking her head. Carina just shook her head, taking another bite of her dinner.

“Hey,” Maya said, looking at her wife.

“Cosa?” Carina said, raising an eyebrow.

“I’m proud of you,” Maya said, smiling at her.

“For what?” Carina said, clearly confused. “For voluntarily leaving this room and going down the hall to heat up that food,” Maya said, “I know how hard it has been for you to leave, and I am proud of you for doing that.”

Carina just gave her a shy smile, looking down at her lap.

“You have therapy tomorrow right?” Maya asked as Andy shifted a little next to her.

“Si,” Carina nodded, “At two. Which means tomorrow afternoon might be rough. But I know I need to go.”

“I’ll be right here for whatever you need,” Maya said, “And it will be good for you. I can see how much better you are after just one session. And I know some of it is that I have mostly stopped scaring the hell out of you every few days, but you have also done the work and I am also proud of you for that.”

“Maya, you are going to make me cry tonight,” Carina said, blinking quickly.

“I just really love you,” Maya said, smiling at her.

“I love you too,” Carina said, smiling back.

They just sat there in comfortable silence for about fifteen minutes before there was a knock on the door.

“Come in,” Carina said, getting up and going to the door, knowing most people just walked in after they knocked.

“Hey,” Robert said, coming in, a little shocked to see his wife sound asleep, “What is going on? Is she ok?”

“Let’s talk in the hall,” Carina said, not wanting to wake Andy up and also not exactly wanting Maya to hear all of what she had to say at the moment.

“What is going on?” Robert asked again, seeming a little agitated.

“What is going on is your wife is pregnant,” Carina said, “And she needs you to be there for her and not treat her like she is disabled or going to break. Women are strong, and they have babies all the time while continuing to live their lives.”

“I know but…” Robert started, but Carina cut him off.

“No,” she said, “No buts. I know, probably better than anyone, how hard it can be to trust your partner when they say they are fine and that they know their limits, but you need to trust Andy. She knows what her body is capable of. She cares about this baby too and wants it to be healthy so trust that she is always thinking about that.”

Robert looked down, knowing Carina was right.

“I know it’s hard to trust them,” Carina said, “God, do I know. But you have to do it or she is going to push you away. Help her when she needs it but don’t make her feel like she can’t do anything.”

“Alright,” he said, “What happened tonight? She looks like hell.”

“She will tell you,” Carina said, “It’s not my place. But you need to trust her.”

“Ok,” Robert said, nodding, “I’ll try. It’s just all scary, you know.”

“Oh, I see nervous papas and mamas every day,” Carina said, nodding, “But it is going to be alright. I can give you resources and things to help, but the thing that will help the most is talking to your wife and trusting her, si?”

“Alright,” Robert nodded, “Can I take her home now?”

“Of course,” Carina nodded, opening the door and going back into the room, finding Andy just starting to wake up.

“Hey,” Robert said, going over to the bed.

“Hey,” she said sleepily, looking at him.

“Are you ready to go home?” he asked, brushing a piece of hair off her forehead.

“Yeah,” Andy nodded, rubbing her eyes as she sat up.

“Hey Maya,” Robert said, smiling at her a little, “How are you?”

“Getting there,” Maya said, nodding.

“Thanks for everything tonight Carina,” Andy said, walking over to her friend.

“Of course,” Carina nodded, whispering in her ear, “Do you want my help telling Robert?”

“Ok,” Andy said, turning and looking at her husband, “Robert, I need to tell you something.”

“What?” he asked, looking nervous.

“I had a scare tonight,” she said, taking a deep breath, “I had some bleeding and cramping but Carina looked and the baby is good, but I have a …what was it called again?”

“A subchorionic hematoma,” Carina said, “That turned into a small hemorrhage. It is basically a collection of blood between the placenta and uterus. It is small, and I am not too worried about it. I will keep an eye on it at her appointments, but everything will be fine. I told her to take a few days to rest, maybe take one shift off, but other than that, she will be just fine. They both will.”

“Why didn’t you call?” Robert asked, going over to her.

“I don’t know,” Andy shrugged, “I didn’t want you to be mad.”

“Oh Andy,” Robert said, “I wouldn’t have been mad. I’m sorry you went through that alone.”

“I wasn’t alone,” Andy said, looking between Maya and Carina.

“Still,” he said, pulling her into a hug, “I’m sorry.”

Andy just melted into his hug.

“But they are both ok?” Robert said, looking back at Carina for confirmation.

“Si,” Carina nodded, “Just keep an eye on the bleeding and if it gets worse, come back, but they should be just fine.”

Robert nodded, just rubbing Andy’s back.

“Can we go home?” Andy asked, pulling away from him.

“Of course,” he nodded, “Bye Maya, Bye Carina. Thank you.”

“Thank you both so much,” Andy said, giving Carina another hug before going over to Maya and giving her as best a hug as she could.

“Anytime,” Maya said, smiling at her, “Thank you for coming to visit.”

Andy and Robert left hand in hand, Carina walking over to Maya’s bed.

“Ready to go to bed?” Carina asked, seeing how exhausted Maya was.

“I need to go to the bathroom first,” Maya said, stifling a yawn, “It’s not even 8:30 and I feel so tired.”

“That is normal,” Carina said, moving so she could help Maya out of bed, “You did a lot today and the last few hours have been very emotionally draining.”

“I really hope Robert pulls his head out of his ass and gets with it,” Maya said as Carina moved her across the bed.

“I think he will,” Carina said, making sure Maya was able to stand up without any issues.

Normally, she would just get straight up, but tonight, she struggled, not able to stand after two tries.

“Need some help Bambina?” Carina asked.

“Yeah,” Maya said, “Everything is so sore tonight.”

“Do you want the wheelchair?” Carina asked as she carefully helped Maya stand, making sure to help her balance.

“No,” Maya said, taking the cane, “I don’t want to have to sit and stand an extra time.”

“Alright,” Carina said, helping Maya stay balanced as she walked.

Carina could tell Maya’s body was tired tonight just by her movements. Once she used the bathroom, Carina helped her back to bed.

“I am going to get ready for bed,” Carina said, “If you want, you can call the nurse for your meds.”

Maya nodded, hitting the call button as Carina rummaged through her bag, getting out pajamas.

“Yes?” the nurse said, coming in.

“Can I have the pain meds you wanted to give me before bed tonight?” Maya asked, yawning.

“Of course,” the nurse nodded, checking Maya’s lines and pumps, “Are you still pretty achy?”

“Yeah,” Maya said, “Really achy and sore. I think I aggravated my ribs and abs tonight.”

“Are you in serious pain or just sore?” the nurse asked, wanting to make sure Maya didn’t hurt herself.

“Just sore,” Maya said, “I just gave someone a hug and they hugged back a little harder than was comfortable.”

The nurse hummed in response, leaving the room, returning a moment later with Maya’s meds, putting them in her IV.

“Is that going to make me tired?” Maya asked, looking at the nurse.

“It might a little bit,” the nurse said, “It’s not a narcotic, but it can make you a little tired.”

Maya nodded, yawning a little bit as Carina walked out of the bathroom.

“Hi Carina,” the nurse said, smiling at her.

“Hello,” Carina said, putting her dirty clothes away, “Is she doing alright tonight?”

“I think so,” the nurse nodded, “Her vitals are beautiful and I just gave her pain meds. I don’t see anything that would make me worry.”

“Good,” Carina said, grabbing her water bottle and setting the side table set up for the evening.

“Alright,” the nurse said, “I will be in throughout the night, but hopefully I won’t wake you. Would you like the big light off?”

“Please,” Maya nodded, “Thank you.”

The nurse left, Carina going over to the bags Andy had brought.

“Bambina, do you want some of these?” Carina asked, pulling out a blanket from the bag Andy had brought earlier.

“Oh, yes please,” Maya said, “I forgot she brought those.”

“Any particular one?” Carina asked, showing Maya what was in the bag.

“Can I have the grey striped one and the blue one?” Maya asked.

“Of course,” Carina said, pulling out the two requested blankets, “Do you want the grey one because you are feeling bad or just because?”

“A little bit of both,” Maya said as she helped as much as she could to get the hospital blankets off her body before the Italian put the blankets on her, “Today has been a long day and I am feeling it mentally, but I also just like that blanket.”

“Ok,” Carina said, knowing that at home, Maya would pretty much only pull that blanket out when she was struggling mentally, usually with her depression but sometimes her anxiety too.

It was an unspoken signal to Carina that Maya was having a hard time so the Italian could ensure she was able to help her without Maya having to explicitly ask, something the blonde often struggled with. She had gotten better at verbally asking for help, but when she was already having a hard time, it was often something she found challenging. Having the visual signal had helped Carina understand where her wife was mentally and provide her with the support she needed.

“Thanks Car,” Maya said as the Italian spread the blankets out, “Oh, I didn’t realize how uncomfortable those hospital blankets were until right now. This just makes me want to go home more.”

“I know Bambina,” Carina said, climbing into bed, “It will happen soon.”

Maya nodded, suddenly feeling very overwhelmed by her emotions.

“Ok,” Carina said, seeing the tears gathering in her wife’s eyes, “Do you want me to hold you?”

Maya nodded, wiping at her eyes as Carina moved them around to be in their best position.

“It’s ok Bambina,” Carina said, running her fingers through the blonde hair, “It’s going to be ok. You will be home before you know it.”

Maya just held onto Carina’s hand with her good hand, tears spilling out of her eyes without her permission. Carina kissed her temple gently, grabbing her phone and putting on some quiet Italian music.

As she felt Maya calming down, Carina was very happy that they had contacted Diane again, knowing Maya needed to continue to process how she was feeling and get those feelings out. This was a long journey, and while Carina was more than happy to provide Maya as much support as she possibly could, knowing there were other people who were also navigating this with them made it just a little easier.