34. Chapter 34

Maya slept for close three hours, Carina asking the nurse to cancel her evening round of physical therapy because she knew her wife was exhausted and didn’t need to push her body any more tonight. She also knew Andy was coming tonight and she wanted Maya to be able to enjoy her time with her friend without being any more exhausted than she already was.

While Maya slept, Carina worked on her breathing exercises and then started reading some of the latest research on gastroparesis, making sure she would have as much knowledge as possible to be able to help Maya.

Carina knew the test still needed to be done tomorrow, but she had been worried that Maya had gastroparesis for a few days now because of how sick to her stomach she had been. She was very sure that the tests were going to show that Maya did indeed have gastroparesis so she wanted to be prepared. She found herself lost in the latest medicines and surgeries and other treatments for the disorder.

Carina knew they would probably never know the cause of this issue in her wife, but part of her was hoping that the c. diff might have caused it because that would mean there was the possibility it would go away. She decided not to mention that to her wife though because knowing how things had been going, Maya was probably going to be stuck with this for the rest of her life.

Carina just hoped that Maya would be able to actually get on the right meds to help her stomach function properly so she would eventually be able to lose the NJ-tube. Maya moved a little in her arms, Carina gently stroking her hair and settling her back down.

The Italian then grabbed her phone, checking her messages. Andy texted her around 4, asking if she could come by in about an hour.

As Carina texted her back, Maya let out a small groan next to her, eyes fluttering open.

“Good morning Bambina,” Carina smiled, “How are you feeling?”

“Less pukey,” Maya said, rubbing her eyes, “But I think I need to go to the bathroom.”

“Alright,” Carina said, “Do you want the nurse?”

“Just you if that’s ok,” Maya said, “If you can just help me across the bed?”

“Of course,” Carina nodded, grabbing the bottom sheet, knowing how to move Maya by herself.

Once Maya was upright, Carina made sure she had the cane before they started toward the bathroom, Carina making sure the toilet was set up so the nurses could continue to track Maya’s kidney function.

After helping Maya get her pants off, Carina left her with some privacy. The fact that she was standing outside the bathroom as her wife was using it made Carina feel extremely emotional because not long ago, she wasn’t sure Maya was ever going to have a functional kidney back. When she heard Maya call that she was done, Carina tried to brush the tears off her cheek as she went back into the bathroom.

“What’s wrong?” the blonde asked, immediately seeing the tears on her wife’s cheeks.

“Nothing,” Carina said, helping Maya stand up, “I just was thinking that about the fact you walked to the bathroom and that you are physically able to use the bathroom and I am just so proud of you and so happy with how far you have some and it made me stupidly emotional.”

“Aww,” Maya said, smiling at her as they stopped at the sink for Maya to wash her hands, “You’re so cute.”

“Shut up,” Carina said, wiping the tears off her cheeks.

“I love you,” Maya said very seriously as she turned to look at her wife, puckering her lips so Carina would lean down and kiss her.

“I love you too,” Carina said, giving her a kiss. Maya tried to deepen the kiss, but her bad leg wasn’t having it and she almost fell, Carina catching her before she did.

“I just want to kiss you how I want to,” Maya groaned as Carina helped her regain her balance.

“Let’s get you back to bed, and then we will see what we can do about that,” Carina said, “Are you good to walk?”

“I think so,” Maya said as she slowly started toward the bed with Carina at her side, stabilizing her and pulling her IV pole along with them.

“Ready to sit?” Carina asked, getting Maya into position.

“Yeah,” the blonde said, carefully sitting herself down on the bed.

“Do you need help laying down?” Carina asked, having not seen her wife get herself from sitting to laying down.

“Nope,” Maya said, “Well, can you help me get my legs up on the bed? Just my bad one. It’s still hard for me to get it up that high on my own.”

“Of course,” Carina nodded, carefully maneuvering Maya’s legs up to the bed.

Maya then got herself into the right position without causing too much pain or discomfort.

“Bambina, look at you,” Carina smiled, “You are doing so well.”

“OT said I can shower again tomorrow,” Maya said as Carina helped her get to her side of the bed, “And if Meredith takes me off dialysis, that will make it even easier.”

“Si,” Carina nodded, “It will. You are making such amazing progress.”

“Do you think I’ll get to go home soon?” Maya asked, looking at her wife, “I mean, I know I’m still weak and struggling with my moving but I’m getting better at it and my kidney is working again.”

“We will have to see,” Carina said, settling herself back into the bed, “I think a lot of it is going to depend on how your stomach is doing. I think Meredith will probably want to try to get you on the right medications before she sends you home, but because you already have the tube, she may let you go home earlier. It is all up to what she feels is best for you.”

“Oh yeah,” Maya sighed, “I forgot about my stomach. How bad is this gastroparesis thing they think I have?”

“It depends,” Carina said honestly, “It can vary in severity. Some people are completely feeding tube dependent for life and some people have very mild or even no symptoms with the proper medication and diet. You are probably going to have to be on a special diet and you will probably have to deal with more upset stomachs than before, but I think we will find a way to manage it once we find the right medications and diet to help you feel less sick. Once you get your test done, we will know more, ok?”

Maya nodded, leaning her head on Carina’s shoulder.

“Andy is going to be here in about twenty minutes,” Carina said, bringing her arm up to stroke Maya’s hair, the short stands that were starting to grow back from her brain surgery feeling weird on her fingers.

“Ok,” Maya said, “Um, when is PT coming?”

“I asked them not to this evening,” Carina said, “You did a lot today and you weren’t feeling well earlier and I wanted you to be able to enjoy your time with Andy and not be exhausted the entire time.”

“That was probably smart,” Maya said, “I am feeling pretty achy tonight, especially my abs probably from how sick I got earlier.”

“I am so proud of you,” Carina said, smiling at her.

“I’m so confused,” Maya said, crinkling her eyebrows.

“You just accepted your body’s limits and didn’t even try to fight me on it a little bit. That is a big deal for you, and it makes me proud of you.”

Maya just blushed, looking away from her wife.

“I think I need to talk to Diane again,” Maya said, rubbing her eyes.

“Ok,” Carina said, slightly worried because she hadn’t noticed that her wife was struggling any more than normal, “Any particular reason? There doesn’t have to be, I’m just wondering.”

“Getting another probable diagnosis is a lot,” Maya sighed, “Especially because it’s not just going to get better like everything else. And I can feel the anxiety about what it’s going to be like when I go home already creeping in even though that could still be a long ways off and I just want to get ahead of it.”

“That sounds like a very good idea,” Carina said, “Do you want to send her an email? Or I can type it out for you if that would be easier?”

“Can you do it?” Maya asked, not feeling like fighting with her phone tonight.

“Of course,” Carina nodded, grabbing Maya’s phone and starting the email.

Maya decided she didn’t want to try for tomorrow because she had her test and while Carina assured her it would not be painful; Maya still didn’t want to try to schedule therapy on top of that. She also knew Carina had therapy and didn’t want both of them to be emotionally drained on the same night though she didn’t tell her wife that was part of the reason.

Just as they were finishing the email, Maya’s nurse walked in.

“Hey,” she said, smiling as she came to check Maya’s vitals and put some meds into her IV, “How are you feeling this evening?”

“Pretty good,” Maya said, “A little achier than I have been, but nothing I can’t handle.”

“I’ll add in a little bit of extra pain relief tonight,” the nurse said, “Just to make sure you aren’t hurting during the night. Do you want any extra now?”

“No,” Maya said, shaking her head, “I’m ok.”

“Oh, I meant to call, but I forgot,” Carina said, “She did use the bathroom again.”

“Look at you go Maya,” the nurse said, smiling, “I know Dr. Grey is talking about taking you off dialysis soon and if you keep this up, it will be very soon.”

Maya smiled, the thought of not having the dialysis tubing coming out of her making her extremely happy.

Carina knew Maya’s kidney was doing well because she could see the slight puffiness that had been present in her wife’s face since she was admitted to the hospital receding a lot. That, combined with how well Maya’s cuts, scrapes, and bruises were healing made her look more and more like her Maya.

Once the nurse collected everything she needed, she left.

“I never thought so many people would care so much about my pee,” Maya said, looking at her wife, “I never thought I would either, to be honest. It is literally the most basic bodily function.”

“It is a big step for your body,” Carina shrugged, “And with only one kidney that all but shut down, the fact that your body is able to perform that basic function is nothing short of amazing.”

“Am I going to have issues with this kidney forever?” Maya asked, having not even thought about if her kidney would continue giving her issues after it recovered.

“We won’t know until time passes,” Carina said, “Some people don’t have any issues. Some people will have more struggles with infections. It all just depends on the person. We will just have to watch you carefully. Meredith might want to have tests done in the future to see how it’s doing.”

Maya nodded, taking in the new information.

Just then, there was a knock on the door, Andy walking in.

“Hola chicas,” she said, smiling at both of them.

“Hey,” Maya said, smiling at her friend. “Woah,” Andy said, taking in what she was seeing, “Look at you dressed and it looks like you have clean hair. Who are you?”

“Shut up,” Maya said as Andy set down the bags she had brought, “I couldn’t sit here in a hospital gown forever.”

“I wouldn’t have minded,” Carina said, smirking “They are open in the back and I personally enjoyed the view.”

“Gross,” Andy said, shaking her head, “Even a massive accident and all the complications you two have had hasn’t dampened your disgusting love for each other.”

“It’s not disgusting,” Maya said, shaking her head a little.

“Well, let me just say that just wait until one of you gets pregnant,” Andy said, “Then, it will all go away because you will be so annoyed with each other that you won’t find each other cute anymore.”

“Still not going well with Robert?” Carina said as Andy sat down on the couch.

“He just treats me like I am made of freaking glass,” Andy sighed, shaking her head, “I’m pregnant, not dying. Plenty of women live their normal lives while pregnant.”

“I can talk to him if you want,” Carina offered, “I know a lot about pregnant mammas, and while there are some things I don’t want you doing as you get further along, you can do whatever is comfortable for you within reason.”

“That would be great,” Andy said, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to come here and rant about my life. You guys have so much going on.”

“Andy, you can talk to us about anything,” Maya said, “You know that. We are your friends.”

“Thanks,” Andy said, putting a hand on her belly, something she had found herself doing since she found out about the baby, “Now, tell me what’s been going on here. You are both looking so much better than the last time I was here. Carina, I feel like I didn’t even see you last time because you were asleep.”

“Si,” Carina nodded, “I was sleeping off the last of my infection. I am feeling much better now. And we are both officially off isolation protocol so we got to leave this room finally.”

“That is awesome,” Andy said, smiling at them, “Where did you go?”

“The chapel,” Maya said as Carina grabbed her hand, lacing their fingers together, “It’s a special place for us.”

“Then it sounds like the perfect place to celebrate breaking out of here finally,” Andy said, “Maya, how are all of your other things?”

“Slowly getting better,” Maya said, “I should be coming off dialysis really soon because my kidney finally decided it wanted to work again. Meredith wants to test me for something tomorrow called gastroparesis which I think basically means my stomach sucks, right Car?”

“Kinda,” Carina laughed, “It means your stomach doesn’t work properly and needs a little extra help to move food through it.”

“Is it permanent?” Andy asked, “Or will it get better with time?”

“It is life-long usually,” Carina said, looking at Maya to make sure she was still doing ok with talking about this, knowing it was hard for her to think about, “But it can be managed and many people with it are able to live perfectly normal lives.”

“I can get in and out of bed almost completely alone now,” Maya said, changing the topic because she didn’t want to have a panic attack and she felt like if they kept talking about gastroparesis, she would, “And I’m able to walk to and from the bathroom too.”

“Woah,” Andy said, “Mai, that’s huge. Are they talking about discharge yet?”

“Not yet,” Maya sighed, Carina squeezing her hand, Andy realizing she had stepped in it by asking that question.

Of course, Maya was anxious to get out of the hospital and probably thought about it all the time. Andy found herself wondering if there had been any fights or breakdowns over that very topic. She made a mental not to never ask about it again unless Maya or Carina brought it up.

“Did you hear we got called out to the crazy dance cult guy again this week?” Andy asked, deciding to shift the topic again.

“No,” Maya said, shaking her head, trying to keep herself present and not in her head, “What did he do this time?”

“There were about fifteen people in trees all saying they were birds,” Andy said, “Which is their prerogative, but it was happening at 2 am and they were blasting music and bird calls. It took us until sunrise to get them all down. Luckily, we only had to bring two people to the hospital with non-life-threatening injuries.”

“I always miss when you guys get called out there,” Maya said, “Maybe one day I will get to experience the crazy for myself.”

“We’ve been out there three times,” Andy said, “You realized missed them all?”

“Yeah,” Maya nodded, “The first time, I was on bereavement leave, the second time, out sick with that stupid virus we passed the shift three times before we got rid of it, and this time, here.”

“Oh yeah, I guess you have missed them all,” Andy said, wincing a little as she shifted.

“You alright?” Carina asked, noticing.

“Yeah,” Andy said, “I just get these random twinges in my abdomen everyone in a while, but I read online that is normal in the first trimester.”

“Si,” Carina nodded, “It can be. They are not constant or anything right?”

“No,” Andy said, “I’ll just get one or two a day and they never last long.”

“Alright,” Carina said, nodding.

“Oh, Andy, I wanted to talk to you about an idea I had for those stupid shirts Jack ordered,” Maya said, remembering what she had thought about earlier, “So I was thinking, we could have a pancake breakfast or chili dinner or something and invite the neighborhood to come out and ‘sell’ the shirts, but instead of giving them to the neighbors, we give them to a local group home or kids in the homeless camps or something like that and then the money the neighbors give to ‘buy’ the shirts could also go to the group home or a foodbank or something. Jack would probably have a better idea of an organization because I know he has gotten involved with some that focus on kids.”

“That’s a great idea Maya,” Andy said, “I’ll talk to Jack about it.”

“Plus, then, if we do that, we can count the money he spent on the shirts into the charity part of our budget and we will still be able to get new shirts for 19 with the money that was in the budget for them,” Maya said.

“You have thought a lot about this,” Andy said, shaking her head.

“I mean, all I do is lie here in this bed and think,” Maya said, “If I didn’t come up with some idea, I would be worried.”

“You do a lot more than just lay in bed Bambina,” Carina said, giving her wife a look, “You have been working hard.”

“Yeah, listen to your wife,” Andy said, shifting in her seat again.

Just then, Carina’s stomach let out a growl, causing Maya and Andy to look at her.

“You ok?” Maya asked, clearly worried.

“Si,” Carina said, hand on her stomach, “Just hungry. Sorry.”

“I have never been so happy to hear your hungry stomach,” Maya said, leaning over and giving her a small kiss.

“You two are so gross,” Andy said, shaking her head.

“Hey, when you watch your partner have zero appetite for weeks and be as sick as she was, you would be happy to hear a hungry stomach,” Maya defended.

“Still gross,” Andy said, getting up, “But I do have dinner for you Carina. I still can’t believe you just wanted whatever I was cooking.”

“Hey, you are an amazing cook,” Carina shrugged, “And I have pretty much only eaten take out or hospital food for weeks. Homecooked food sounds so good right now.”

“Well, I made enchiladas and rice and a salad,” Andy said, “And I put it in a thermos so it should still be warm.”

“Thank you so much,” Carina said, taking the food.

“Of course,” Andy said, “Now, if you will excuse me for a minute, I need to go to the bathroom. I thought having to pee all the time didn’t happen until later in pregnancy, but it’s already happening.”

“Si,” Carina nodded, “It can happen very early. It is because of hormones and also how your body is already changing because of the bambino.”

“Well, it isn’t the worst,” Andy said, heading to the bathroom, “But it is annoying.”

Carina sat back down next to Maya with her food.

“Does this make you hungry?” Carina asked, taking a bite of her food.

“Nope,” Maya said, shaking her head, “I mean, it smells good, but my stomach does not even remotely want it.”

“We will have to talk to the dietitian about it,” Carina said, “Hopefully we will be able to get you eating again soon.”

“I don’t really miss much of it,” Maya said, shrugging, “Except maybe your pasta.”

“Well, the good news is, from what I have read, pasta and smoothies are some of the things most people with gastroparesis find easy to eat,” Carina said.

“Good,” Maya said, “I could literally live on those two things only.”

Carina was about to respond when the bathroom door opened and Andy walked out, face pale, body shaking.

“What’s wrong?” Maya asked, immediately seeing something wasn’t right.

“I…um..I’m bleeding,” Andy said, tears filling her eyes, “I think I might be losing the baby.”