30. Chapter 30

Maya slept for a long time, Carina just relaxing and scrolling through her phone, just enjoying holding her wife like this. This was exactly what she needed, what she had been craving since she first saw Maya coming out of the aid car almost two weeks ago. The fact that they had been here two weeks was mind blowing to her because it felt like it had been months and also only days. So much had happened and just thinking about it made Carina want to squeeze Maya tightly, though she resisted because she didn’t want to hurt her wife or wake her up.

She was so happy Maya was doing better, and yet there were still anxieties creeping into her head. The biggest ones were related to Maya’s kidney, aorta, and her inability to hold anything down that went into her stomach.

She was worried about her kidney because it was still in such a delicate place and while things were getting better, it still had a long way to go.

The aorta injury had been the scariest from the beginning, and Carina knew that it had been repaired and looked good, but that there would be an increased risk of it becoming a problem in the future. She also knew that meant a lifetime of medications for Maya that would have to be carefully balanced in order to still allow her to do her job properly, and while she had every trust that Maya had the best doctors looking out for her, it would still make her already dangerous job even more dangerous, even if it was just by a small amount.

At the moment, though, the thing she was most immediately worried about was Maya’s stomach. The fact that every single time Maya even tried to put anything in her stomach she ended up nauseous and sick worried Carina to no end. She knew it could just be Maya’s body struggling with her injuries, but she was getting worried that there was something more serious going on. She knew Maya’s doctors were keeping an eye on it, but she still wasn’t able to take anything orally in a few days, Carina was going to talk to Meredith about getting so imaging done, just to make sure everything was ok. For now, though, she was just grateful that Maya was still getting nutrients through her feeding tube and that that seemed to be helping her energy levels and strength some.

About an hour after Maya fell asleep, the nurse came in with Maya’s next round of meds and a new feeding bag.

“I’m glad she is resting,” the nurse said as she slowly pushed the meds into Maya’s IV, “Carina, do you want me to get you something else to eat besides crackers?”

“One of our friends is bringing by some soup in like two hours,” Carina said, “I will be fine until then.”

“Alright,” the nurse said, “Well, if you change your mind, let me know. Or if you need anything else.”

“Actually, I had a few things I wanted to ask you about,” Carina said, “First, can you cancel her evening PT session? That shower was a lot, and I know if they come, she will want to do it, but she really needs this more.”

“Of course,” the nurse nodded, knowing how Maya was after taking care of her for over a week and also knowing that trusting Carina about Maya was always the right option, “She has been doing really well with all of it anyway, and I know she needs this rest.”

“Si,” Carina nodded, tracing patterns on Maya’s arm, “Also, can you ask Dr. Hunt to come look at her leg? I think it is time for the stitches to come out, and I saw it up close today when she showered, and it looks good. I just want to make sure he agrees.”

“Absolutely,” the nurse nodded, looking at the computerized chart she had been working off of, “Actually, it looks like Dr. Hunt already has plans to come down here and see her this afternoon.”

“Good,” Carina smiled, happy to know she wasn’t losing her mind in thinking the stitches should come out, “Ok. I think that is everything.”

“Alright,” the nurse said, nodding, “Well, you know how to get me here if you need me.”

“Oh, wait,” Carina said, “Sorry. Can you grab my headphones? They should be sitting right on the couch. I would get them but…”

“No, you are doing exactly what needs to be done right now,” the nurse said, “Here you go. Do you want me to grab you anything else from over here?”

“No,” Carina said, biting her lip for a second, “Actually, I have kinda a silly request, but…can you take a picture of us?”

“Absolutely,” the nurse nodded, taking Carina’s phone, snapping a couple pictures.

“Thank you,” Carina said, taking her phone back. “You don’t need to thank me,” the nurse shrugged, “I am happy to help in any way I can. Anything else?”

“No, for real this time,” Carina said as the nurse headed to the door, “Thank you.”

Soon enough, Carina was alone again with her sleeping wife. Carina tried hard to keep herself from getting lost in her own anxious thoughts about Maya, knowing it was unproductive. She knew she should probably pull her journal out again to get some of her worries out of her head, but right now, her wife was sleeping on her and she was not about to give that up for anything.

She was actually a little bit surprised that Maya had slept through her talking to the nurse, the blonde usually a light sleeper. However, Carina knew the day had been long and exhausting for her wife, and she was extremely glad she was sleeping.

Carina grabbed her phone, looking at the pictures the nurse had taken. She honestly asked for them because when she was waiting for Maya to wake up from her coma, she had been going through her pictures and realized they hadn’t taken a picture of just the two of them in over six months and thinking that they might never get another picture together had sent her spiraling.

She looked through all the pictures, picking one and setting it as her screen saver on her phone. Seeing how much better Maya looked in that picture versus how she looked just two weeks ago in the ICU with sepsis blew Carina’s mind. Sure, she still had a feeding tube in nose and a few tubes coming out of her arms, but she looked like her Maya again.

Carina leaned down, pressing a kiss to Maya’s cheek, the blonde turning her head a little, smiling in her sleep as she snuggled herself closer to her wife. Carina got her headphones paired to her phone, sipping them on before going to one of her favorite meditation apps that her therapist had recommended.

She had used it almost daily when she was struggling with Andrea’s death and the subsequent PTSD. She was genuinely feeling better mentally than she had been right after the accident, but now that her stomach had stopped churning, her thoughts were slowly starting to do it instead.

She had made another appointment to see her therapist the last time she had gone, and that appointment was in two days so she was determined to work hard and not let herself slip fully into her anxious thoughts before then. She went through a few activities on the app which helped her focus her thoughts through CBT style guidance.

Carina felt much better when she was done, turning on her “Maya” playlist after she finished. About twenty minutes after she finished, she heard a small knock on the door, Owen coming in.

“Hey,” she said, pulling off her headphones.

“Hello,” he said, coming over to the side of the bed, “You are looking much better than last time I saw you, and so is she.”

“We are getting there,” Carina nodded, “The infections are finally getting better.”

“Well, I just want to check her thigh and get those stitches out,” Owen said, “But I don’t want to wake her.”

“Can you check it, and if it’s clear, I will have a nurse bring me supplies to remove them once she’s awake?” Carina said, also not wanting to wake her wife.

“Ok,” Owen nodded, looking at the blankets, “May I?”

“Of course,” Carina nodded, “She is wearing clothes for the first time since she got here, so it’s all good.”

Owen nodded, carefully moving the blankets, just exposing Maya’s right leg. He pulled out his penlight, not wanting to turn on the harsh overhead lights and risk waking Maya.

“That has healed beautifully,” Owen said, running his gloved finger gently over the stitched area, “These can come out today. How has her functional movement been with it?”

“Good,” Carina said, looking down as Maya shifted slightly in her arms, the Italian shushing her as she ran her hand up and down Maya’s arm, the blonde calming immediately, “She is walking pretty well and getting better every day.”

“Good,” Owen nodded, putting the blankets back over Maya’s leg, “Well, I am going to say the stitches can come out when she wakes up and you are good to do that. I think I am going to officially clear her from a trauma perspective. I mean, I know Grey and Pierce are still monitoring her abdominal trauma, but I am done.”

“Thank you Owen,” Carina nodded, smiling.

“Of course,” Owen said, glancing over at the puzzle on the table, “That is cool. I didn’t realize you guys were into puzzles.”

“Maya hates them actually,” Carina chuckled, “But her therapist said it might help to keep her mind busy.”

“That’s a cool idea,” Owen said, looking at it.

“Si,” Carina nodded, “And it is helping I think.”

“Do you want me to get another tray so you guys have a place to keep your phones and cups and stuff?” Owen asked, noticing Carina had all of that in the bed next to them.

“That would be great actually,” Carina said, “Thank you.”

Owen disappeared for a few minutes before coming back with another table like the one they had.

“Grazie,” Carina said, smiling at him.

“Of course,” the trauma surgeon said as his pager started going off, “I gotta go.”

Carina waved as Owen left. She was glad that he hadn’t insisted on taking the stitches out himself so Maya could continue to rest.

It was already almost 5, and Carina knew Vic was going to be there soon, but the doctor wanted her wife to get every second of sleep she could.

She picked up her phone again, seeing she had a message in a group chat that included herself, Teddy, Amelia, Maggie, and Jo. Teddy had texted, saying she heard from a little birdie that the Bishop-Delucas were finally on the mend and asked if Carina needed them to bring dinner by tonight. Carina texted them back, telling them that Vic was bringing dinner by tonight, and that they didn’t need to worry about bringing her food. However, after a few minutes, Amelia texted back, informing Carina of the new meal schedule that they were going to be starting the following morning.

Carina told them they didn’t have to do that, but deep down, she was very glad her friends were going to bring food by and not leave her with hospital food for every meal. She tried to tell herself that she could leave and get herself her own food from a restaurant or even from home, but the thought of being that far from Maya still made her feel anxious and sick.

Logically, she knew Maya was ok, that she was doing well and there was nothing that should go so horribly wrong that her leaving for an hour or two to go out to get food or go home would make her too far away, but she just couldn’t do it yet.

She knew she needed to talk to her therapist about this, and she fully planned to, but she also had learned a lot about giving herself grace when it came to dealing with her mental health, especially when it came to bad episodes like this. Just then, there was a knock on the door yet again, and in walked Vic and Travis.

“Hey Bishop-Delucas,” Vic said semi-loudly before seeing that Maya was asleep, “Oh, sorry.”

The blonde shifted a little but settled again quickly in her wife’s arms.

“Hey,” Travis said softly, “We can go if she needs to rest.”

“No,” Carina said, “I mean, you can stay. She is very asleep.”

“Is she ok?” Vic asked, sitting down on the couch with Travis.

“Si,” Carina nodded, “Or I am pretty sure. She had pretty busy PT this morning and afternoon and then OT including a shower. I think she is just exhausted.”

“Wow,” Travis said, “She did all of that today?”

“Si,” Carina nodded, smiling as she looked down at her wife, “She is doing so well.”

“That’s really impressive,” Vic said, shaking her head, “Though, I don’t know what else I would expect from Maya. She won the Olympics with a sprained ankle.”

“Yes,” Carina sighed, “But she has also gotten much better at listening to her body and not pushing like that. She has been doing a good job with not going too far and speaking up when she needs a break.”

“You have been so good for her,” Travis said, smiling at Carina, “She is not the same Maya Bishop I met when I joined 19.”

Vic nodded in agreement as Carina smiled a little. The Italian often thought about how much her wife had grown since she had met her and always feeling an overwhelming sense of pride for the woman she loved so much.

She knew that no one really knew how hard Maya had worked in therapy and in her own time to grow and learn better habits than she had been raised with. Carina had been there every step of the way through every breakdown and breakthrough and small moment of growth. There were times that Carina would think back to how Maya was when she met her and almost cry at how closed off and scared and lonely her wife was then. It hadn’t been an easy road, but Carina couldn’t even begin to put into words how proud of what Maya had done for herself.

“We brought soup,” Travis said, pulling Carina out of her thoughts, “It’s just chicken noodle. I wasn’t sure how your stomach was doing so I didn’t want to make anything too crazy.”

“Chicken noodle soup sounds amazing,” Carina said, “I have literally only eaten crackers for the past few days, but I finally have some kind of appetite again.”

“Progress,” Vic said, shoving her fist into the air, “So I am guessing your stomach is feeling better?”

“Si,” Carina nodded as Travis pulled a thermos out of the bag Vic had carried in, “I think I am almost over c. diff. thank god. And Maya is out of isolation officially tomorrow morning so we are making progress.”

“That is great, Carina,” Travis said, smiling at her. Just then, Maya moaned a little bit moving around in Carina’s lap.

“Bambina, Shhhh,” Carina said, turning all her attention to her wife, gently stroking her hair, “It’s ok.”

“Car,” Maya groaned, eyes fluttering open.

“I’m right here,” Carina said, wrapping her arms around Maya, taking both her hands in her own, “You can wake up if you want or go back to sleep. I’m not going anywhere.”

Maya blinked tiredly, rubbing her head on Carina’s chest.

“How are you feeling?” Carina asked, smoothing out the messy blonde hair.

“Achy,” Maya said, “And sleepy. What time is it?”

“5:30,” Vic said, startling Maya a little bit, “Oh sorry.”

“Hey guys,” Maya said, still clearly trying to wake up properly, “When did you get here?”

“About half an hour ago,” Travis said, “We didn’t mean to wake you.”

“You didn’t,” Maya said, rubbing her eyes, her body stiffening a little in pain, “Car, why did you let me sleep so long? What happened to PT?”

“You needed rest Bambina,” Carina said, “You worked so hard today.”

Maya wanted to argue but both the presence of her friends and the massive aches coursing through her entire body stopped her. Maya shifted a little, grimacing as she did.

“Do you need some pain meds?” Carina asked, watching her wife’s movements, listening to the changes in her breathing.

“Maybe like some Advil or something,” Maya said, “Everything is sore.”

Carina hit the call button, trying not to move too much and bother her wife’s achy body.

“We can go,” Vic offered, seeing the look on Maya’s face.

“No,” Maya said, letting herself relax a little into Carina, “I’m ok.” The nurse came in, looking at Maya and Carina.

“Can I have some Advil or Tylenol or something?” Maya asked, “I am really achy and uncomfortable.”

“Of course,” the nurse said, “I’ll be right back. And are you nauseous at all?”

“Maybe,” Maya said, trying to focus just on her stomach and not the rest of her achy body, “Kinda I think.”

“I am going to give you some anti-nausea meds too,” the nurse said, “Just to cover our bases. I’ll be right back.”

“Thanks,” Maya said as the nurse left.

“You’re still having stomach issues?” Vic asked as Maya looked back at them.

“Well, they made me try oral fluids again today,” Maya said, “And it didn’t go well.”

“Sorry,” Travis said, frowning, “Do they know what’s causing it?”

“Not really,” Maya said, “Just my body being stupid.”

“Not stupid,” Carina reminded her in her ear, gently yet firmly. “That bites,” Vic said, shaking her head.

“I mean, I don’t feel too terrible as long as they don’t ask me to put anything in my stomach,” Maya said as the nurse came back in, pushing the meds into Maya’s IV.

“Let me know if these don’t work in the next fifteen minutes,” the nurse said, “I have something stronger you can have if you need it.”

“Thanks,” Maya said, nodding as the nurse left, “Carina, did you eat?”

“Not yet,” the Italian said, “We were talking and I didn’t want to disturb your sleep.”

“You should eat,” Maya said, “You are finally hungry.”

“Fine,” Carina said as Vic took the thermos from Travis, opening it before handing it to Carina along with a spoon and some rolls, “Thank you. Did you make the bread too?”

“We did,” Travis said, “We are both going stir crazy at home but also don’t feel like going out.”

“How do you manage that with one arm?” Maya asked, knowing Travis was the chef despite the fact that Vic’s parents owned a restaurant.

“He tells me what to do and I do it,” Vic said, “And then sometimes he tries to do it himself and gets frustrated.”

“Only because you refuse to listen to my instructions,” Travis said.

“Hey, I have a concussion,” Vic said, “It’s hard to pay attention sometimes.”

“Oh, I better tell Amelia that then when you go see her in two days,” Travis said, “Because if you can’t pay attention, you shouldn’t be cleared for work.”

“You wouldn’t dare,” Vic said, “You know I am more than ready to go back to work.”

“But then who am I supposed to hang out with?” Travis said, “I’m gonna be all alone.”

“You can come hang out here,” Carina said, smiling at him, “Especially if you bring soup like this. It is so good.”

“Thanks,” Travis said, smiling, “And you are going to regret offering that.”

“You could always call Emmett,” Maya suggested, looking at him with raised eyebrows, “I’m sure he would love to come hang out with you and nurse you back to health.”

“Yeah,” Carina said, taking another bite of her dinner, “You should call him.”

“Listen to them,” Vic said, looking at her best friend.

“All three of you should shut up,” Travis said, blushing, “Oh, Maya. I brought you more puzzles.”

“Good subject change there Trav,” Vic said, laughing as he pulled the boxes out of the bag.

“I brought two,” he said, holding them up, “I can bring more if you need them.”

“I’m hoping I don’t end up stuck here longer than it takes me to do three 1000-piece puzzles,” Maya said, “I want to go home. I haven’t even finished the border on one yet so three will probably take me a month.”

“Well, you can do them at home too,” Travis said, “Because I know you are not going to go from hospital bed to running 20 miles overnight.”

Maya rolled her eyes but didn’t say anything, knowing Travis was right.

“Are you feeling better Bambina?” Carina asked in her ear again as Vic started teasing Travis about Emmett again.

“Yeah,” Maya said, nodding, “Everything still hurts but less.”

“Are you sure?” Carina asked, not wanting Maya to be in pain.

The blonde nodded, turning her head a little to capture Carina’s lips for a moment before turning back to their friends.

“So, Vic, you are going back to work this week?” Maya asked.

“As long as Amelia clears me,” Vic said, “So if you see her, if you could put in a good word for me, that would be great.”

“You know that I cannot tell Amelia what to do,” Maya said, “No one can tell that women what to do.”

“It’s true,” Carina nodded, taking another bite of her soup, “She is more head-strong than Maya.”

“Or at least than post-Carina Maya,” Travis said.

Just then, the blonde woman let out a big yawn, trying to cover it with her hand.

“Sorry,” she said, rubbing her eyes, “I don’t know why I am so tired.”

“Yeah, ok Miss I did two rounds of PT, one round of OT, and showered after barely moving for two weeks,” Carina said, rolling her eyes, “Maya, your body is trying to heal, and it needs sleep to do that. Lots of sleep.

“We should get going anyway,” Travis said, “I have my first round of PT in the morning and I want to be well rested for it.”

“Thanks for coming guys,” Carina said, smiling at them, “And thank you for dinner.”

“Anytime,” Vic said, “We will probably stop by again after my appointment with Amelia in two days if that’s ok?”

“It should be,” Maya said, nodding, “Good luck with that. And Trav, good luck with PT.”

“Thanks,” Travis said, “And I’m serious. I will come here more once Vic goes back to work.”

“Or you could call Dixon and hang out with him instead,” Maya said, “Bye guys.”

“Bye,” Vic and Travis called.

“Ciao,” Carina said as they left, “Now, Bambina. I am going to get up and get ready for bed, and then we can sleep, ok?”

“If I sleep now, I will be up so early,” Maya said, “It’s not even 8.”

“We can watch a movie or something then and just relax,” Carina said, “But you need rest if you are going to try physical therapy again tomorrow.”

Maya nodded as Carina moved out from behind her.

“Hey Car,” Maya said as her body shifted a little, “I need to go to the bathroom.”

“I can go get the nurse,” Carina said, “Or whatever you need.”

“Can’t I use the actual bathroom?” Maya asked, “I mean, I showered and everything.”

“You probably can,” Carina said, “But it is going to take a little while for you to get there. Can you wait?”

“Yeah,” Maya said, nodding.

“Alright,” Carina said, “Let me go get a nurse to help.”

It was quickly decided that Maya would not be walking to the bathroom because she wasn’t quite up for it, but that she would get out of bed, sit in a wheelchair, and then be wheeled to the bathroom. Maya didn’t even argue, knowing her legs were not going to support the entire walk to the bathroom. It didn’t take long for Carina and the nurse to get Maya into the wheelchair.

“Do you want me to help you or your wife?” the nurse asked as they went into the bathroom.

“Car, can you?” Maya asked, “Just to get on the toilet?”

“Of course,” Carina nodded, going to Maya’s side. She helped her stand up, pulling her pants down as the blonde turned to sit down.

“Alright,” Carina said, moving the wheelchair, “I will give you some privacy. Call when you are done, ok?”

Maya nodded as Carina slipped the door shut.

“Just come get me when you need me,” the nurse said, stepping out of the room.

Carina went over to her clothes, deciding that what she had on would be fine for pajamas. She then went about making sure everything was ready for the night.

She put both of their phones along with their headphones and a bottle of water on the nightstand. She also made sure Maya’s bear was there in case she decided she needed it. She heard the toilet flush as she checked her phone, heading back over to the bathroom door.

“Bambina, are you done?” Carina asked through the door.

“Yeah,” Maya said, Carina opening the door, “Can you get my cane so I can walk to the sink and wash my hands?”

“Sure,” Carina said, going and grabbing the cane before going back into the bathroom, helping Maya stand up, “Go slow Bambina.”

They made it to the sink, Maya washing her hands.

“Ready to sit back down?” Carina asked, positioning the wheelchair behind her wife.

“I want to walk,” Maya said.

“Bambina, I don’t think that is the best idea,” Carina said, “You are tired.”

“Please?” Maya said, “Just a little?”

Carina debated it in her head for a few seconds before deciding Maya had been doing well with being honest this recovery and deciding to trust her.

“Alright,” Carina said, “But I am going to be pushing the wheelchair just in case.”

“No complaints here,” Maya said as they started back to the bed.

Maya, shockingly, made it all the way back to the bed, having to stop once to regain her balance but she made it.

“Bambina, that was very well done,” Carina said as she helped Maya sit down, “Now, let me get the nurse to help you lay down.”

Carina quickly hit the call button before going back to Maya’s side.

“Woah,” the nurse said, “You are already back to the bed.”

“And I walked,” Maya said, smiling sleepily.

“Seriously?” the nurse said as she and Carina got Maya laying back down, “That is great work. How are you feeling?”

“Alright,” Maya said, yawning, “Tired.”

“Ok,” the nurse said, “If you need anything, let me know.”

“Thanks,” Carina said as the nurse turned to leave, “Oh, wait. Can I have a suture removal kit?”

“Oh, yeah,” the nurse nodded, “I will be right back.”

“Why do you need a suture removal kit?” Maya asked.

“For your leg,” Carina said, “Owen came by while you were asleep and said those can come out.”

“Cool,” Maya said, yawning, “Hey, when are your stitches coming out?”

“Oh, I probably need to ask Amelia,” Carina said, “She’s coming by tomorrow at some point so I’ll ask then.”

The nurse came in with the suture kit, Carina quickly getting the stitches out of Maya’s leg, putting on some steri strips just to make sure it continued healing as well as it had been.

“Alright,” Carina said as she finished, “Now…”

However, as she looked up at her wife, she smiled, seeing that she was asleep. Carina climbed into bed, climbing behind Maya, the blonde waking up a little.

“Hey,” Carina said, “Go back to sleep.”

“Can we watch a movie?” Maya asked as they got comfortable.

“Si,” Carina said, “I will put one on. I love you.”

“I love you too,” Maya said, giving Carina a sleepy kiss before they both settle in to watch a movie, hoping the next day went as well as this one.