21. Chapter 21

On her way to find Maggie, Carina tried to remind herself to breathe, finding that she was feeling pretty overwhelmed. She was trying to be so positive for her wife who she knew was struggling so much right now, but now that she didn’t have to be so strong in front of her, she wanted to cry. It was so hard to see Maya the way she was, so sick and vulnerable and in so much pain.

Luckily, her pain seemed to, finally, be receding somewhat which was huge. If Maya’s pain got better, she would be able to start moving around more which would hopefully help her mental health a little. She was also hoping that Maya’s kidney would start to bounce back soon because she knew if it didn’t, the only option she was going to have was going to be transplant which was terrifying.

She was hoping that with the nutrition she as going to start getting through the tube, that Maya was going to start feeling stronger, and that her body would start kicking the infection she had been struggling with.

Carina made it to Maggie’s office, the younger woman smiling as she looked up from her paperwork.

“Ready for some lunch?” Maggie asked, “I think I head you have some food in the fridge in the attending’s lounge.”

“Oh yeah,” Carina nodded, “Maya said she had stuff down there. I’m not super hungry so you can have some too, if you want.”

“You don’t have to do that,” Maggie said, shaking her head, “You can save it and have it later.”

“No,” Carina replied, “Honestly, my stomach has barely been handling crackers and yogurt and Pedialyte the past couple days. It will just go to waste.”

“Are you getting sick?” Maggie asked, looking worriedly at her friend.

“I don’t think so,” Carina sighed, “Just some anxiety side effects and some antibiotic side effects. I’ll be ok.”

“Ok,” Maggie said, eyeing Carina carefully as they walked into the longue, “Well, what do you want?”

“I think Maya said there is soup?” Carina said as Maggie opened the fridge.

Within ten minutes, both Carina and Maggie both had food and were head outside to sit on a bench.

“So, how are you doing?” Maggie asked, stirring the pasta Carina insisted she eat.

“I am…feeling slightly better emotionally and mentally today,” Carina said, thinking for a second, “But I am exhausted physically.”

“I’m sure,” Maggie nodded, frowning, “Is there anything any of us can do to help? Do you want another prescription for sleeping pills or anything from home?”

“Vic, Travis, and Andy brought a bunch of stuff yesterday,” Carina said, taking a small bite of her soup, “And it helped. The day after therapy is always rough. I will be ok. Thank you though.”

“Well, if you do need anything, just let me know,” Maggie said, “Seriously, anything.”

“Grazie,” Carina nodded, “How is your research going?”

They talked for a few minutes about Maggie’s research, Carina trying to force some food into her stomach but finding she just was not feeling well.

“Carina, what’s wrong?” Maggie asked, noticing the Italian had all but checked out of their conversation which was not at all like her.

“Sorry,” Carina said, “I’m just tired I think, and anxious. I think I am just going to go back upstairs if that’s ok.”

“Of course,” Maggie nodded, noticing Carina was looking pretty pale, “Here, I’ll come with you.”

They walked toward the elevators, Carina tossing her still mostly full container of soup. Once they were in the elevator, Maggie reached up, putting a hand on Carina’s forehead.

“What?” Carina said grumpily, “Don’t.”

“You have a fever Carina,” Maggie frowned, “What are your other symptoms?”

“I’m fine,” Carina grumbled, sighing a little.

“I won’t let you go back to Maya if you are going to give her some other infection,” Maggie said.

Just then, Carina’s stomach grumbled loudly, the OB almost doubling over as a cramp hit her.

“Oh,” Maggie sighed, “You aren’t going to get her sick, she got you sick.”

“I’m fine,” Carina insisted, “It’s just a little upset stomach.”

“Carina, come on,” Maggie said, “Your wife has c. diff. You have been in her room the entire time. You are on an antibiotic.”

“But not one known to cause c. diff.,” Carina argued.

“Yeah, but you were exposed and exposure on any antibiotic can contribute,” Maggie said, “Plus, your immune system has to be absolute garbage right now because of how little sleep you are getting. You need to get tested.”

Carina nodded a little, biting her lip. She knew Maggie was right. Her stomach had been getting more and more upset, especially over the past 24 hours.

“Fine,” Carina said as they got off the elevator.

“I will go find a specimen tube,” Maggie said, “You go lay down.”

Carina nodded, going into Maya’s room.

“Hey,” Andy said, smiling at her, “She fell asleep almost as soon as you left.”

“Good,” Carina smiled, looking at her sleeping wife, “She needs it.”

“You look like you need it too,” Andy said sympathetically, “Rough night?”

“Not really,” Carina said, climbing into bed next to Maya, “I am just not feeling very well today.”

“Hey,” Maggie said, walking in, “So here is what you need to get a sample…oh, sorry.”

“It’s ok,” Carina said, “She’s gonna find out anyway.”

“Find out what?” Andy asked, confused.

“I think I also have c. diff,” Carina said, hand on her crampy belly, “I’m not feeling very well.”

“Oh Carina,” Andy sighed, “I’m so sorry.”

“I am going to go talk to the nurses,” Maggie said, “Just rest.”

“Can I get you anything Carina?” Andy asked gently.

“No,” Carina said, stomach cramping up, “I need to use the bathroom.”

Carina went into the bathroom after grabbing what Maggie had brought for her. Andy sighed, sitting back down in the chair next to the bed. Just then, Maggie came in with a thermometer and an IV.

“Where’d she go?” the surgeon asked.

“Bathroom,” Andy sighed, “I feel so bad for both of them.”

“Me too,” Maggie nodded, “They both just need a break.”

Andy nodded, looking at her best friend who looked mildly uncomfortable, even in her sleep.

“If this is not c. diff. I will be very surprised,” Carina said, coming out of the bathroom, putting the paper bag containing her specimen in an emesis basin “Also, if this is how Maya has been feeling, it makes me want to cry for her.”

“What’s going on?” Maya said sleepily as her eyes opened.

“You shared your infection with your wife,” Andy said as Maggie left to go take the sample down to the lab.

“What?” Maya said, almost sitting up only to have her abs protest loudly, “I got you sick? I’m so sorry. I knew I should have made you leave.”

“It’s ok,” Carina said, crawling into bed, “I am ok.”

“Carina, this is miserable,” Maya said, “I am so sorry I gave it to you.”

“Bambina, it is ok,” Carina said, “I will be ok just like you will be ok.”

“I’m still sorry I got you sick,” Maya said, frowning as Carina winced a little as her stomach cramped, “Andy, can you get her the heating pad. It’s with our stuff.”

“Sure,” the pregnant woman said, going over to the stuff on the couch, quickly finding the heating pad, plugging it in and giving it to Carina.

“Grazie,” Carina said, wrapping the warm device around her crampy belly, “That feels so good.”

“Do you guys want me to stay?” Andy asked, not sure what to do.

“No,” Maya said, shaking her head, “I think we will be ok. Thank you for coming.”

“Of course,” Andy said, “Well, just text me if either of you need anything. I hope you both feel better soon.”

“Thanks,” Maya and Carina both said as Andy left.

“I thought you said I wasn’t going to give this to you,” Maya said, playing with Carina’s hair a little bit.

“You shouldn’t have,” Carina yawned, “But sometimes freak cases happen. I am done with my antibiotics now so hopefully they can get me on some vanco and I will be ok in a few days.”

“Alright,” Maggie said, walking back in, “That is getting processed, but I also got you a prescription in the works for some vancomycin. I want to grab your temp and start an IV because you said you haven’t been taking in a ton of fluids and you’ve been losing quite a bit..”

“Ok,” Carina nodded, letting Maggie run the thermometer over her forehead.

“101.8,” Maggie said, frowning, “I can get you something to help with that too if you want.”

“Maybe,” Carina nodded, her body achy from both the illness and the fever.

“Give her whatever will help her feel better,” Maya said, looking at Maggie.

“I am fine Bambina,” Carina assured her, wincing a little as Maggie put the IV in.

“Sorry,” Maggie said, “Now, you two, just rest. I will have the nurse bring you some antibiotics as soon as they are ready.”

Maggie left the room, leaving Maya and Carina alone.

“I’m so sorry Car,” Maya said again, not feeling like she had expressed how truly sorry she was that she got her wife sick.

“Bambina, it is ok,” Carina said, “I don’t feel good, sure, but I am going to be fine soon. I do not want you to feel bad about this, ok? I would not change a single thing, even if it means I have to deal with a few days of feeling bad, if it means I could be with you and know you are ok.”

“I love you,” Maya said, looking over at her and smiling.

They laid there for a few minutes, just relaxing together before Maya’s stomach started acting up again. Carina dragged her IV pole out of the room, standing outside the door as she waited for Maya to be done.

“What the hell happened Deluca?” Bailey asked, walking up to her, seeing the tubing coming out of her arm.

“I might have gotten sick from my wife,” Carina sighed

. “Oh Carina,” Bailey said, shaking her head, “I am sorry.”

“It’s ok,” Carina said, shrugging, “I’ll get through this too.”

“Do you need anything?” Bailey asked, “Literally anything at all?”

“We just need to get better,” Carina sighed, “Hopefully Maya will turn the corner soon. Her pain is finally starting to get better.”

“Well, whatever you need, just let me know,” Bailey said, “And I’ll make sure people are letting you both get enough rest.”

“Grazie,” Carina nodded as Bailey walked away. About a minute later, Ty, Maya’s physical therapist, walked up.

“Hey Carina,” he said, smiling at her before he saw the IV, concern filling his face, “Are you alright?”

“I will be,” Carina nodded, “Just got sick from Maya. I’m ok. The IV is mostly just to keep on top of potential dehydration.”

“I’m sorry,” Ty said, frowning, “How is Maya feeling today?”

“She is…ok,” Carina said, “Pain wise, she said she is feeling better, and she got an NJ tube placed today because she was not doing very well with her nutrition so hopefully she’ll start gaining back some of her strength. She has been sitting up quite well with the bed for support.”

“That’s good,” Ty said, “I think I want to try to get her standing again today. If her pain is down, I think it might be a good time.”

“Si,” Carina nodded, “I think it might go better today. Also, with the tube, her stomach will not be fighting the fluids anymore.”

“You can go back in,” the nurse said, coming back out just then, “Oh, and Carina, I will be in in a minute with your medication and some Pedialyte if you’re feeling up to it.”

“Grazie,” Carina nodded, walking back into the room with Ty, feeling her stomach cramp up as she did.

She quickly made her way into the bathroom, trying hard not to cry as her tummy cramped and ran. Once she was done, she scrubbed her hands before going back into the room. She saw Ty working on stretching Maya’s legs.

“You ok?” Maya asked as Carina walked back over to the bed.

“I am fine,” Carina nodded, “My tummy is mad, but I will be fine. How is it going?”

“I actually had the nurses page Joanna to come down and help get her standing,” Ty said, “She is doing really well.”

“The nurse brought in your meds,” Maya said, pointing to the pills, “And fluids.”

Carina went over, throwing back the pills, hoping they would help stop the c. diff. quickly. Joanna walked in just then.

“Alright,” Ty said, “Carina, are you up to being her stationary thing to look at?”

“Si,” Carina nodded, going and getting into place so Maya could use her to help stabilize her vision.

“Ready?” Ty said, as they got into position.

“I think so,” Maya nodded.

“Ok,” Ty said, “If anything hurts of you feel dizzy or sick or anything at all, just let us know, ok?”

“Ok,” Maya said, taking as deep a breath as she could.

“Ok,” Ty said, looking at Joanna, “One, two, and three up.”

Maya was moved into a sitting position, locking eyes with Carina immediately.

“How are you feeling?” Ty asked as he lowered the bed so Maya’s feet were on the ground.

“Good,” Maya said, “I’m not dizzy or nauseous or anything. I’m a little sore, but nothing bad.”

“Ok,” Ty said, “Would you like to try standing? I talked to Dr. Hunt, and he said it has been long enough that you can stand on both legs.”

“Really?” Maya said, smiling as she kept looking at Carina, feeling like her wife was her anchor in all of this.

“Yeah,” Ty said, “Are you ready?”

“Ready,” Maya nodded as Carina smiled at her, taking a few steps closer to her wife.

“Alright,” Ty said to Joanna, “Here we go. One, two, three, and up.”

Maya stood up, smiling at Carina as she did so.

“How do you feel?” Joanna asked.

“Good,” Maya said, feeling tears threatening to well up in her eyes, “Really good. Can I try a step?”

“Don’t push too hard Bambina,” Carina said, giving her a look.

“I think trying a step would be good,” Ty said, “Joanna, did you bring the cane?”

“Yeah,” Joanna said, making sure Maya was stable before going and grabbing it, “Here you go.”

“Now, Maya, this is just because your right leg is pretty weak right now,” Ty said as Joanna helped get it into Maya’s left hand, “And you can’t use your right hand because of the break. Are you ready?”

“Yeah,” Maya said, looking at the cane before putting her eyes back on Carina, “Ready.”

Joanna and Ty helped Maya take one step with her good leg and then one with her bad before Maya dropped her hand off her cane.

“Carina, come here,” Maya said, motioning for her wife to come closer.

“What?” Carina said, walking over to Maya.

The blonde lifted her arms, motioning for Carina to come into them. Ty and Joanna stood back a little bit as Carina and Maya hugged each other for the first time in about two weeks, both women crying a little bit as they did so.

“I love you so much,” Maya said, kissing Carina’s cheek.

“I love you too,” Carina said, “I’m not hurting you right?”

“No,” Maya said, shaking her head, “Everything is sore, but you holding me makes it feel better.”

They stood there for another minute before Maya’s body started letting her know she needed to sit back down.

“Can you help me back to bed?” Maya asked Ty and Joanna as Carina stepped back a little.

“Of course,” Ty said, the two of them going back to Maya’s sides.

She had barely moved six inches from the bed so they just had her walk backward to the bed, helping her sit back down.

“How are you feeling?” Ty asked as he leaned her back against the bed.

“Probably the best I have felt since the accident,” Maya said, smiling, “I mean, my abs are so achy and my leg is sore and I don’t know that my ribs loved that, but nothing hurts like it did earlier this week.”

“Good,” Ty said, helping Maya get adjusted in bed.

“Does this mean I can start walking around again soon?” Maya asked.

“We are going to take it day by day,” Ty said, “But yes. That is the plan. I think your body is finally telling us it is ready.”

“Thank you,” Maya said, smiling at Carina who also had a huge smile on her face.

“Good work today,” Ty said, “Jared will be back in the morning as long as everyone is feeling ok.”

“Thank you,” Maya said as they both left, Carina coming over to the bed.

“I am so so proud of you Bambina,” Carina said, climbing into bed with her wife, “That was amazing. How did it feel?”

“So good,” Maya said, yawning a little, “So so so good.”

“Good,” Carina smiled, kissing her gently, “It was good to see you up.”

“How are you doing?” Maya asked, “Mentally and physically?”

“Mentally, I feel ok,” Carina said, “My anxiety had been up and down all day, but right now, it is not so bad. I think seeing you do that helped a little. Physically, I don’t feel very well, but it will pass. I’m still tired from therapy yesterday and my stomach is feeling…sick.”

“I wish I didn’t get you sick,” Maya sighed. “Bambina, no more of that,” Carina said, shaking her head, “I do not want you feeling guilty about this. We get each other sick all the time, so this is no different.”

“But this could make you really really sick,” Maya said, biting her lip.

“And last winter, I gave you a cold that landed you in the hospital with pneumonia,” Carina said, “It happens. We are both going to be ok. How are you feeling mentally and physically?”

“Physically, tired and achy, but good achy if that makes sense,” Maya said, earning her a nod from her wife, the brunette knowing exactly what Maya meant, “Mentally…I don’t know. A little more anxious today I think and kinda…I don’t really know how to describe it. Maybe overwhelmed is the right word, but not really.”

“It’s ok that you don’t know,” Carina said, stroking Maya’s hair, feeling her stomach start cramping up again, “Would you like me to see if Dr. Lewis can come down here and help you figure it out?”

“Not yet,” Maya said after thinking for a second, “I’m not ready for that yet.”

“Ok,” Carina said, making a mental note to keep an eye on Maya’s mental health and push her more to talk to Diane if it seemed like things were getting worse, “That’s ok. Now, I am going to go to the bathroom and then I am going to turn off the light and we are going to sleep because I think that will help both of us feel better and you look drained from therapy.”

Maya nodded, frowning as Carina scurried into the bathroom, feeling bad that her wife was feeling so sick.

Five minutes later when Carina came out of the bathroom, she smiled at the sight she saw. Maya was lying in bed, clearly fighting sleep, the Andrea blanket curled up next to her.

“Come sleep with me,” Maya slurred sleepily.

“You don’t have to tell me twice,” Carina said, turning off the light before getting into bed, draping the blanket over both of them.

“I love you,” Maya said, leaning over and giving Carina a kiss.

“I love you too Bambina,” Carina said, cuddling close to her, “So so much.”