LESSON FOUR

~New Subject~

Enjoy Reading, Loyal Readers!

|Abby's POV|

He's totally getting into my nerves. Pagkatapos niya akong harapin nang ganoon lahat ng mga babae ngayon sa campus ay tinititigan ako ng patalim.

Although, I don't give a fuck on them. Still, this shameless new teacher we have is making me mad and I don't know why I'm quivering and shivering in front of him. But, I still have a gut feel that anytime he will spill what happened in the bar to the class. Oh my goodness!

But, the thing that makes me quiver is the new subject in the new curriculum which is the Sex subject. Hindi man lang sa akin pinaalam ni Aryh at ngayon I was hoping that I can escape this horrible situation I'm in.

"At isang anunsyo, I'm your new teacher in a new subject curriculum which is the sex subject," anunsyo ni Sir. Derrick sa amin. Parang sirang plaka ang utak ko at paulit-ulit kong naririnig iyon sa utak ko.

Napaaga ang pagkain ko ng lunch dahil sa naging anunsyo ng mokong na Sir Derrick na iyon. Kakatapos ko lang kumain, mabagal din akong kumain kaya't nauna nang natapos sa akin ang kaibigan kong si Aryh. Napailing na lang ako ng tignan ko ang ginagawa niya.

I hissed. "Hoy, puro selfie ka na lang?" tanong ko sa kanya na walang ibang ginawa kundi mag-selfie at humarap sa cellphone niya.

She turned her head to look at me. She smiled widely. At hindi ko na alam kung bakit ganoon ang hitsura at parang nagpipigil ng tawa si Aryh sa harapan ko. "Atleast, hindi ako kinabahan nang magpakilala ako sa harapan kanina," she said, after that she bursted out in laughter.

Naalala ko naman bigla ang nangyari kanina sa room namin. Natapos na si Aryh magpakilala noon at ako na ang susunod sa kanya.

Nakaupo pa rin ako sa chair desk ko at sinisimulan ko nang ayusin ang mga pwede kong sabihin sa harapan pero wala akong maisip. Hindi ko alam kung bakit pero kahit anong halungkat ko sa utak ko ay wala akong masagap na kung ano.

I let out a deep breath. "Magpapakilala ka lang," saad ko sa sarili ko. I'm intelligent when it comes to academics and such but when it comes to standing in front of everyone is my greatest fear. I don't like recitation, declamation and most importantly standing in the stage. I just hate attention of other people towards to me.

Nakita ko namang naglalakad na pabalik si Aryh sa pwesto niya. Nakakaramdam naman na ako na pinagpapawisan na ako ng malamig. I closed my eyes and tried to calmed myself. Ayaw kong mapahiya at pagtawanan ng mga kaklase ko lalo na't ang mokong na teacher na iyon.

Tumayo ako na nakayuko at dumiretso sa harapan. Inangat ko naman ang ulo ko at ang lahat ay nag-aabang at tahimik na naka-antabay sa sasabihin ko. Napalunok naman ako at ang mga kamay ko napunta na sa palda at pinapaikot-ikot ko na ang daliri ko sa tela ng aking suot na palda.

Hindi muna ako nagsalita ng mga ilang segundo. Nilagay ko ang mga kamay ko sa likod dahil hindi pa rin ako mapakali. Lumingon ako kay Sir Derrick na siyang nakaupo sa upuan at lamesa na nakalagay sa harap ng silid-aralan na iyon.

I saw him staring directly at me. His dark eyes settled directly unto my eyes. Napaiwas naman agad ako ng tingin sa kanya.

Muli akong humarap sa mga kaklase ko, ang iba sa kanila ay naiinip na. Ang ibang kababaihan naman ay naiirita na dahil sa mga pagtitig ni Sir Derrick sa akin. Kailangan ko nang magsalita pero wala akong masabi at ayaw bumaka ng bibig ko.

"Ahmm...A-ako po si Abigail Constantine. My friends, no. My friend called me Abby. I hate this, damn it!" I shouted in front of them. Siguro bago pa sa kanila na nagagalit ako but soon or later, masasanay na rin sila.

Kinusot-kusot ko na lang ang buhok nang matapos kong maalala ang mga nangyari kanina. Sana kinain na lang ako ng lupa kanina para hindi ko pinahiya ang sarili ko kanina.

A friend of Aryh came to our table, he's a guy and his face is kinda familiar. I looked at him with my narrowed eyes. "Hi, Aryh and Abigail..." He tapped my shoulders which is kinda off for me since we're not that close.

Naalala ko naman bigla na nakikita ko siya sa loob ng classroom namin, which means classmate ko siya. Napaiwas naman ako sa kanya agad. "Ah! I'm shocked that your temperamental," he said, smiling like a crazy guy.

Bumuntong-hininga naman si Aryh. "Huwag mong pansinin niyan si Marco. Nang-aasar lang yan," Aryh said, then she crossed her arms and she raised her right brow. Napailing na lang ako sa ginagawa nilang dalawa kaya't tumayo na ako sa kinauupuan ko.

Hinawakan naman ni Aryh ang pupulsuhan ko. "Oh? Saan ka pupunta?" Tanong niya.

Napatingin naman ako sa orasan ng cellphone ko at may kalahating oras pa bago magsimula ang susunod na klase. "I'm doing something very important. Pay the meals I've ordered," tugon ko sabay kalas ko sa pagkakapit ng kamay niya sa kaliwang braso ko.

Umalis na ako sa canteen at tinatahak ko na ang direksyon papuntang library. I need to gather informations about the new curriculum. Nakakairita pa din ang mokong na teacher na iyon.

"Ako si Derrick Bartolome. Isang Filipino-major at SEX-subject teacher niyo. Oo, tama ang narinig niyo." I mimicked what he said in the classroom. Mas lalo kong binilisan ang paglakad.

Pagkatapos kong maibigay sa librarian ang mga detalye ko at ang aking library ID. Agad akong dumiretso at pumuwesto sa harap ng mga computers doon. Sinabi ni Aryh kanina sa akin bag kami kumain na nakapribado ang artikulo tungkol sa curriculum na iyon.

"Legit ba yung sinasabi ng bagong mokong na teacher na iyon?" tanong ko kay Aryh sa kadahilanan na hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala sa sinabi ng Derrick Bartolome na lalaking 'yon.

Aryh sighed. "Oo, last week pa ina-announce sa amin. Hindi ka naman po pumapasok kaya paano mo malalaman! Saka hindi ko na-inform sayo kasi nakalimutan ko eh. Sorry," tapos tinignan niya ako bumaling na naman siya sa cellphone niya.

"Ah!" Napalingon naman ako muli sa kanya. "Sabi sa amin, pwede nating icheck ang library computers for additional info sa subject na iyon..." Namilog naman ang mga mata ko sa sinabi ni Aryh. I will go there and check it for myself.

Her brows knitted in confusion. "It's private and confidential daw. We are not allowed to talk in public about that subject too. It's weird and I don't know why," saad niya at muli na namang humarap sa cellphone niya.

Nagmasid-masid naman ako sa paligid ko at baka may makakita ng ginagawa ko. Kahit na karapatan kong alamin ang totoo, mas maganda na rin na maging seguridad lalo na sa panahon ngayon.

THE BRITISH STANDARD TIMES

The School Paper

BSU New Subject Curriculum

Sex Subject Experiment

As the global pregnancy rate increases, we are the stepping stone towards to educating our youth to be firm when it comes to sexual intercourse. Sexual activity like pre-marital sex, masturbation and such are always part of the adolescent stage of a teenager. The world is a long path of undiscovered knowledge.

We want to educate our students on how to become prepared in terms of doing a sexual activity with his/her partner in the future. We launch the Sex subject to taught them the step by step, tips and tricks and most importantly, ways to avoid the teenage pregnancy and more.

Nanlaki na lang ang mga mata ko at hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala sa nabasa ko sa artikulong iyon. Muli ko pang ibinaba ang pahina na iyon.

This is an experimental study of Department of Education in passing the Sex Education to the whole country. You are part of something greater that can educate youth learners about sexuality and sexual intercourse in the next generation.

My brows creased and there is a sudden twist in my mouth because of this shameless sex subject. At hindi ko rin matanggap na inaprubahan din ito ng DepEd.

I slammed the keyboard with my both hands clenched into fists. "Fuck, how can this be real?" I yelled and I can't even control my temper right now. First, that new jerk and shameless teacher named Derrick Bartolome. Second, this is new subject that becomes a research for all of us.

"Shhh!" Saway sa akin ng isang librarian na naglilibot malapit sa pwesto ko. I rolled my eyes at saka padabog kong pinatay ang computer ko.

Nang makuha ko na ang library ID ko at saka ang bag ko ay lumabas na ako sa kwartong iyon. Gusto kong makalanghap ng sariwang hangin upang mapakalma ko ang sarili ko.

I heard my phone beeped inside my bag. Agad ko naman iyon dinukot ang cellphone ko mula sa aking bag. Aryh sent me a text message.

From: pretty cute Aryh

Hey, what is it? Tell me what you have found out.

Napabuntong-hininga na lang ako nang mabasa ang mensahe niya. Kung sasabihin ko lang sa kanya bago magkaisyu na naman at kumalat pa sa publiko.

Wala rin magagawa ang pagrereklamo ko dahil may permiso ang eskwelahan na ito ukol sa pagsasagawa ng mga malalaswang aktibidad. Konserbatibo ako at syempre takot ako saka nahihiya. I believe that I should only give my virginity to the man that I will only love forever.

I slowly shook my head and let out a deep sighed as I go straight to my room. Pagkarating ko sa classroom, nakita ko agad si Aryh dahil kinaway-kaway niya ang kamay at braso niya.

Nilapag ko ang bag ko sa upuan na katabi ng sa kanya. She smiled widely. "I save you a seat," she said, expressively.

I smiled. "Thanks," then I seated on my desk chair. Aryh tapped my shoulder. She looked at me with her narrowed eyes. Napakunot naman ang noo ko dahil doon. "Why? Bakit ka ganyan makatitig sa akin?" Tanong ko sa kanya.

A cynical smile twisted her lips. "Nararamdaman ko sa aura mo, there's something that bugs you, isn't?" Tanong niya, iniimbestigahan niya ako sa mga titig niya.

My lips were drawn into a thin line then I forced a fake smile. "No, there's none actually. Kaya bumalik ako agad. I just wasted my time checking out things that isn't important," paliwanag ko sa kanya. Hindi naman niya kinagat ang sinabi ko.

Aryh rolled her eyes. Feeling hustled, she spoke up. "Don't me, besh! There something, isn't?"

Hindi ko na lang siya pinansin nang muli niya akong tanungin. I rested my head on the table of my chair desk with my arms underneath it. I just want to take a nap, hopefully that everything I have found out today was just a lie.

Naririnig ko pa din ang ingay at sigawan ng mga kaklase ko sa loob ng kwartong iyon. Inaangat ko ang ulo at tumingin nang nakakairita sa harap ni Aryh. Her brows snapped together. "Oh? Bakit ka ganyan tumitig sa akin?" she exclaimed confusedly.

I looked at different direction, avoiding her eye contact. I bowed my head. "What do you think about the new subject?" I asked her, worriedly.

Aryh chuckled. "Cool," she said like it was nothing, she's totally an open-minded person in terms of talking about sexual things. She looked at me with her narrowed eyes.

"Bakit mo natanong?"

"I don't know if it's just me that I totally disagree about this new subject. I totally believed that we should only done it once we're married, isn't?" I said, trying my best to appease her.

Nakita ko naman na nagpipigil na siya ng tawa niya at sabay halakhak niya. "Hoy, kailan ka pa ba naging cheesy? Stop acting like your conservative, bitch. You grew up on states then you kept on thinking like that. Why? Tell me what your afraid of," saad naman ni Aryh.

I could feel her eyes probing into mine. Napayuko ako ulit, saka kinagat ko ang ibabang parte ng labi ko at nararamdaman kong pinagpapawisan na din ako kahit na may aircon ang buong silid-aralan na iyon.

"Takot. Anxiety. I felt those emotions," tugon ko sa kanya habang hindi ko pa rin siya magawang matignan mata sa mata.

Nararamdaman ko ang mga titig niya sa akin, she worried. "Why?" Aryh asked,  a worried frown creasing her forehead.

"I don't know. I really don't know. It's because sex is the thing I've never experienced that's why I'm feeling those things," tugon ko. Lumingon na ako sa kanya, at sa ibang direksyon na siya nakatingin.

She breath out heavily. Tumingin siya sa akin, mata sa mata. "I've done it before," she confessed, straightforwardly.

My eyes held a flash of shock. I stuttered. "W-what?" Hindi ko alam kung nagbibiro lang ba siya ngayon pero sa mga titig niyang iyon. She was sincere, she's telling the truth.

She chuckled. "I know, it's unbelievable," she murmured. "And, it happened but after doing it, I said to myself that I met the guy of my life. He's the one for me," she smiled in front of me. Magulo pa rin sa akin ang mga sinasabi niya, how come na nakangiti siya ngayon? Wala naman akong nabalitaan na may karelasyon ang gurang na ito.

Kumunot ang noo ko. "Where's the guy? Saan siya?" nag-aalalang tanong ko sa kanya. She bit her lower lip, fidgety. "I don't know. He didn't even leave a message or atleast a single contact details," she murmured, her eyes downcast.

Aryh slapped her forehead. "Dapat tinanong ko muna yung number niya noon. Sayang!" she said, feeling regretfully.

"Bakit? Bakit mo nagawa iyon?" Muli kong tanong sa kanya. She just smiled at me, with sorrow in her eyes. I know that she wasn't okay with guy leaving her after a one night stand.

She confessed everything that happened with her and to that guy. She was expressive and she even describe how it feels when that thing was inside of her core. It really disgusts me but she told me those things like it was a joke, but then I know she was fond of that guy.

She didn't regret what happened, she even enjoyed it as she confessed everything to me. Hindi ko pa din siguro matanggap iyon. Sarado pa din ang isip ko sa ganoong usapin. Siguro kaya ako ganito dahil una sa lahat, I haven't watch a porn kahit Fifty Shades of Grey and such. And lastly, I haven't done it with someone.

After hearing Aryh's thought and opinions, she appeased me with her own standpoint. We're still teenager, in the stage of adolescent where in we explore everything. In line with exploring, should I go with this sex education thing? Argh, I still don't know.

KINABUKASAN, I free myself thinking about the new subject. Kahit anong gawin ko, ituturo pa rin sa amin iyon. Nang matapos ang unang subject namin, nagpaalam ako kay Aryh na pupunta ako ng bath room para umihi.

Nang matapos ako, lumabas na ako ng bathroom. Hindi ko inaasahan na makikita ko ang teacher namin — si Derrick. Nakatayo siya sa gilid ng bukana ng bathroom para sa mga babae.

His eyes focused intently on my face. Nagkatitigan kami ng ilang segundo pero agad ko iyon kinalas. I had to avoid his gazed and stares.

Kahit ilang segundo lang kaming nagkatitigan, naramdaman mo pa rin ang alindog ng mga mata niyang kulay kayumanggi at ang kilay niyang hindi masyadong makapal. Ang umiigting niyang panga at ang mga labi niyang kaysarap halikan.

Tapos yung mga braso niya, halos pumutok na ang suot niyang uniporme dahil sa laki ng kanyang mga bisig. Ang tangkad din niya dahil hanggang dibdib niya lang ako sa tangkad niya. Kaya naman pag-titignan ko siya nakatingala ako. I shook my head, I need to stop thinking about him.

I forced a smille. "Good morning, sir," bati ko sa kanya sabay yuko ng aking ulo bilang paggalang.

Hindi ko alam kung mali ba ang ginagawa ko na iwasan siya. May parte sa akin na nagsasabi na dapat ko siyang lapitan, ngunit mayroon din ang saad ay dapat layuan ko siya. I don't know which is the correct answer in the choices. But, I choose to avoid him.

I saw his feet walking towards to my position. Muli ko nang inangat ang ulo ko at nagpakita na siya sa harap ko.

"May pag-uusapan tayo," sabi niya sabay hablot sa braso ko.

My eyes held a flash of shock. Hindi ko alam kung saan niya ako dadalhin. Sinusubukan kong kumawala sa mahigpit niyang pagkakahawak sa pulso ko pero masyado siya ng malakas.

"Hoy! Hoy! Saan mo ko dadalhin?" sigaw ko habang pinipilit ko pa ring ikalas ang kamay niya na nakahawak sa kamay ko. Hindi siya lumilingon sa akin at wala at siyang balak makinig sa pagmamakaawa ko.

He finally turn his face on me, pero seryoso ang mukha niya. A cold tremor ran through my body.

"Manahimik ka," malamig niyang sabi sa akin. I slowly pick my phone inside my pocket but I froze when I heard him said, "Don't ever call your friend," saad niya sa akin. I thinned my lips then I let myself follow him.

Pero, he breach my rights as a student. Maling paraan ang paghatak sa akin at tsaka pwede naman niyang sabihin sa akin kung ano man ang kailangan niyang sabihin sa labas ng clinic. Why here?

Kung takutan lang naman ang paglalaban namin, ako na ata ang mananalo. "Okay, fine. After this, you want to lose your job?" pagbabanta ko sa kanya. He turned his face in front of me with a puzzled look. I raised my brow at saka itinuro ang mahigpit niyang paghawak sa pupulsuhan ko.

Agad naman niyang binatawan ang kamay ko. Minasa-masahe ko naman agad ang kamay ko dahil sa mahigpit niyang paghawak kanina. Muli siyang tumalikod sa akin at nagsimulang maglakad kung saan.

I just rolled my eyes then I changed my track. Wala kaming dapat pagusapan. I just need to stay away from him. But, I froze again in my position when he called out my name.

"Abby!" he growled, my head turned to him. "Kung susubukan mong umalis, mapipilitan akong higitin ulit 'yang kamay mo," saad niya na may pagbabanta. Napabuntong-hininga na lang ako at saka sumunod sa kanya. If he want to talk to me, then his wish is my command.

Sumunod ako sa kanya habang nakapulot ang mga braso ko sa aking dibdib. He stopped somewhere in the campus like no one knows this place. May mga nakatambak na sirang desk chair at may mga sirang movable white boards, papers and a lot of boxes.

A let out a deep sighed. "What is it? Tell it now cause your wasting my time," masungit kong sabi, then I rolled my eyes.

Hindi siya nagsasalita at tila nakatulala dahil tinitignan niya lang ako. I knitted my eyebrows in confusion, nakahinto at nakatitig lang siya sa akin ngayon. Hindi ko alam kung bakit niya ito ginagawa pero kung wala siyang sasabihin then I should leave him that way.

"Hindi ka ba magsasalita? If you're not gonna say anything, aalis na ako. You fucking wasted my time," I exploded then I turned my back to him pero bago ko pa magawang talikuran siya, muli na naman niya akong hinawakan sa aking pupulsuhan. Masyado siyang nawiwili sa paghawak sa braso at pulso ko, isa pang ganito niya I will never hesitate calling the authorities at paraabulok ang mokong na ito sa kulungan.

Ramdam ko ang mahigpit niyang hawak sa akin. Tumingala akong upang tignan siya. At patuloy pa din siya sa pagtitig sa akin. Nakakairita ang pagtitig niyang iyon, para bang may mali sa mukha o baka may dumi kaya ganoon siya makatingin.

Kinalas ko ang pagkakapit niya sa kamay ko. At muli ko siyang hinarap. A line etched between my brows. "Ano ba? I have my class to attend to and for your fucking info, malalate na ako. I don't want to hear the preach of my friend. So, tell me and be straight to the point!" I snapped, I feel my spine stiffening in outrage. I looked at him, his eyes focused intently on my face. Napailing na lang ako at saka tumingin sa ibang direksyon..

He studied my face for a long moment, then he said, "Natatandaan mo pa ba yun?" Namilog naman ang mga mata ko sa tanong niya.

My face crinkled in confusion. "Huh?" nagtatakang tanong ko sa kanya.

He looked directly at my eyes.  "Yung sa bar. Me and you kissing that night. Do you remember?" he asked, then he leaned his body towards mine.

My heart thumped and a quiver ran through my body.

Mas lumapit pa siya sa akin ng dalawang hakbang. Naamoy ko na ang pabango niya.

Ito rin ang scent na gamit niya ng gabing 'yon. It is a sandalwood scent like it was his natural scent. It's so addictive and I want to sniff his body.

Napaiwas ako ng tingin at kailangan kong magpanggap na hindi ko siya kilala. "No, it's really my first time meeting you." I said coldly.

Bigla niyang hinawakan ang mga braso ko and I face him with my cold eyes. Ayaw ko lang ma-attached sa kanya this time. Oo, inaamin ko na it was the best kiss I've ever had. I'm longing for the soft and kissable lips he has. Napatingin ako sa mga labi niya. At tinitigan siya mata.

I saw his face was grim with anger. "Kinalimutan mo na yun?" sabi niya. Ang boses niya mas lalo pang lumalamig para na akong nasa Antartic sa lamig ng boses niya. Sa tono niya, para bang hindi siya makapaniwala sa sinabi ko.

"Again, you're not familiar with me," inulit ko muli para sa kanya. Hindi ko pa rin magawang tignan nang diretso sa mata.

Hindi siya nagsalita at nanatili siyang nakatayo. Ramdam ko pa rin ang matalim na titig niya sa akin.

"You may go," he said, his eyes fixed on the ground.

"Let me excuse," sabi ko sa kanya. At umalis na ako. I left him without saying any word to me. Isa lang ang naiisip ko ngayon, I need to distant myself with him. His presence is killing me.

Every time na andiyan siya parang I need to shout na, 'Oo, ako yun'. Ngunit, may mga oras na ang tanging kailangan nating gawin ay magsinungaling at itago ang tunay na intensiyon sa ibang tao. At iyon ang naging chance card ko, they always advice that every woman should guard their heart. And that's what I'm doing right now, I need to guard this fucking soft heart that I have.

I know for a fact he's a playboy. Everyone in the campus knows that. Hindi na iyon sikreto para sa kanya so, I said to myself that I need to stop dreaming about him. I need to stopped thinking about the guy who kissed me in the bar. It is because of the reason that if I accept him baka maging isa lang ako sa mga babaeng parausan niya. Ayaw kong masaktan sa dulo. Oo, takot akong mahulog at masaktan sa ngayon.

Ayaw kong maranasan ang naranasan ni Aryh. Masakit para sa kanya at masakit para sa aking bilang kaibigan niya ang sinapit niya. At habang may paraan, itakwil lang ang sarili ko sa lalaking iyon.

Nasa hallway na ako at nakita ko naman si Marissa na nag-aabang sa gilid habang nakapulupot ang mga braso nito sa dibdib niya. Hindi ko naman siya pinansin at nagpatuloy na lang ako sa paglakad ko.

Napahinto naman ako nang humarang siya sa daraanan ko. Tinignan ko siya mula talampakan hanggang sa mukha niya. I raised a brow. "What do you need?" masungit kong tanong sa kanya. Kilala siya sa campus at madalas ay nasasangkot sa mga away sa loob at labas man ng eskwelehang ito. .

Well, I don't give a single damn about her beside she always give me a sharp look when that fucking new teacher came. I guess, gusto niya ang lalaking iyon.  At sa opinyon ko, bagay sila dahil parehas naman silang walang kwenta.

Marissa chuckled. "Well, I'm glad na pumapasok ka na araw-araw..." I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, your right, I need you tell me something. Have you seen our new teacher, Derrick?" tanong niya. Agad ko namang tinuro ang pasilyo na siyang pinagdalhan sa akin kanina ng mokong na iyon.

She tapped my shoulders. "Thanks," she smiled then she walked to the direction I gave to her. Nagpatuloy naman ako sa paglakad.

|Derry's POV|

Tama nga ang mga tropa, mas madali ang makalimot. I've experienced it so many times. At hindi ko na nga mabilang sa mga daliri ko.

Ang kalimutan ang mga babaeng pinaglaruan ko sa kama. Ang mga babaeng ginamit at sinaktan ko. I don't have a choice, I stick to my rules. I hate serious relationship at ayaw ko pang matali sa iisang babae.

They're coming back at me and begging to be with them. But, I refused to their offer. I'm offering my sexual skills for free but rule is a rule. It's not in my vocabulary and I don't want to hear rumors about me having serious relationship.

I'm just serious in bed. But, look this young woman, she is brave at her age. Let me guess, she's afraid to be bang at bed. I laughed at my imagination.

But, she didn't remember me at all. I guess I'm just an ordinary person in her past. After seeing her today, she totally become a woman now, intelligent and beautiful woman that I can't even imagined.

I remember Abigail. We used to be neighbors, when I was 12 years old. Our age gap was 5 years. She was 7 years old back then. I met her because she was playing outside. And she asked me to play with her. And everytime after my last subject, I rushed to come at home so that I could play with her.

She is the girl I ever met having most stunning eyes and happiest smile. It was the best high school memories I've had with her. But, then she flew to States. She didn't leave me any letter.

I knew she came back. Pero, hindi ko na alam kung saan sila nakatira nang lumipat sila. Mom told me, that she was studying in elementary school somewhere besides our residence. Naghanap agad ako ng mga schools malapit sa amin. Then, I saw her. It was Blueming Elementary School Inc.

Pero, she didn't remember me at all. Hindi niya ako pinansin. I was like statue na dinaan lang niya. I keep coming back at that school. In that bench outside of their campus. I always bring my review materials so that I could brushed up some information because that is the time where graduating high school students are hunting to get into universities. I'm 16 years old that time and she was 11 years old.

One time, I was waiting for her but I'm too busy reading my book at naglalabasan na ang mga estudyante. Then, someone give me a yogurt drink. This was her favorite flavor - Chocolate Yogurt.

I tilt my head to see who is that person. It was her - Abigail. She's smiling at me and I smiled to her. I'm floating that time. For weeks, I've been here. She recognized me. Finally, she remember me.

"I saw you last week that you're still her. Are you reviewing? Hmm, too bad at myself because I didn't review at all  but I always got the highest score in my class. I hope you aced your exams," she said. Hindi ako makapagsalita but seeing here smiling was enough for me. But then, she didn't remember me. I even bring the photo I had with her but her friends called her.

The next thing I know is that she flew right away after her graduation. That day was my examination for university application. Nanadya ang tadhana at di ako binigyan ng chance para kausapin siya. Nalungkot ako nun. My mom said na pinili na ng pamilya nila na manirahan dun. I guess it was the end for me to confessed with her. Yes, I like her. Crush ko siya noon, pero I was taken aback since she's way younger than me. Hinayaan ko na lang iyong nararamdaman ko baka kasi puppy love lang iyon or like a sister attachment since she was cute that time.

But, years after that, I've never loved anyone. I guess this was a punishment. Sinubukan kong magmahal pero hindi umobra sa akin. I used to be in relationship, in my third year high school. Pero, I never feel anything special with her that time. Kaya after we broke up, ang sabi ko sa sarili ko. "Kailanman hindi na ako magmamahal."

Dapat pinaglalaruan lang sila. I really played every single woman I met, in my bed or in hotels and motels even in comfort room. They're all whores, pathetic and useless.  I finally found what makes me happy after long years of loneliness.

At doon na nagsimula ang pagiging playboy ko. But then, hindi ko pa rin magawang makalimot. Nakakulong pa rin ang puso't-isipan ko sa kanya.

In my college, pinili ko ang kursong Bachelor of Arts in Education, Major in Filipino. Hinila na ang ako bigla nang katawang lupa ko sa kursong iyon. She really wanted to be a teacher someday, at iyon ang hinding-hindi ko nakalimutan sa kanya. I know, I'm pathetic for thinking about her after all those years pero puso ko na ang nakikipaglaban sa akin.

I study and at the same time, I fuck as hard. Naging summa cum laude ako sa University of Lorenzo-Ruiz. My dad was running business that time and I broke my promise with him. Kaya naman after I graduated, I lived on my own. It's time for me that I got to be independent but it was freakin hard. Some schools rejected me so I used to work in convienent store.

Pero hindi parin ako tumitigil sa paglalaro ng mga babae. Sila ang nagkakandarapang maikama ko. Sinong bang tatanggi sa biyaya? Syempre, wala kaya ibinibigay ko sa kanila ang gusto nila.

Pero ang pang-matagalang pag-ibig. Ngayong kinalimutan niya ako, malabo na sigurong maibigay ko sa kanya itong nararamdaman ko.

Napagdesisyunan ko nang lisanin ang lugar at baka may makakita pa sa akin. Wala ding mangyayari kung magmumokmok ako sa sulok na ito. At kung gusto kong mangyari, dapat may gawin akong paraan. Hindi lang ako susuko, ako si Derrick Bartolome. At hindi excuse si Abigail para hindi ko maikama.

Pagkarating ko sa hallway, nakita kong naglalakad si Marissa sa direksyon. Napabuntong-hininga na lang ako at saka sinalubong na din siya.

Her eyes lit up and she's smiling widely. "What are you doing here?" Tanong niya.

I narrowed my eyes. "Why?" I asked, while folding my arms across my chest. She let closed her eyes and tried to think.

"Uhmm... I just want to see you," she said with a sensuous twist of her lips. Napailing na lang ako at saka timabig ko ang katawan niyang nakaharang sa harapan ko.

I arched an eyebrow in sardonic inquiry then I leaned my head towards to her left ear. "In case you forgot, we're done. So, stopped lingering on me," I whispered. At saka lumakad na ako palayo sa kanya.

Ramdam ko ang mga matatalim niyang titig na tumutusok sa likuran ko. Muli akong huminto sa pwesto ko.

"Don't follow me. I just hate it," I said then I leave her there gasping because of anger.

johniumbi | Kuya J/King J