A Land of the Truly Free
The blood in my head thrums and pounds. I pull the wet hand away from my face, slick with red. Turning my head I see the Hagraven who raised this body from its undying slumber, her talons torn off her hands and used to carve open her emaciated belly. Her entrails pulled out slowly. The Dark Urge's swan song.
I rose up from the pale stone floor of the Underkeep, a feat much easier without my former potbelly weighing me down, and the new super strength. The Devil did good work when putting together my build for this assignment. Being a toady for El Diablo in return for abs may seem incredibly selfish, and it totally is, but when the well-being of the people of one version of an infinite multiverse within an endless onmiverse are all that stands between me and an eight pack…
Let he who wouldn't make that hell pact cast the first stone.
Plus I got a whole lotta other cool shit and limited access to the Waifu Catalog of The Company, post character creation. Sure, I may be locked into some non-ideal choices and terms, but considering I'd worked in contracting for twelve years I was amazed by the generosity of my new employers. Normally a contract reads like ninety pages of 'Do everything exactly right or bend over and hold your ankles' my new employment terms read something like, 'Bend other people over and rail them real good'. I'm a simple man, and the role reversal pleases me greatly.
My assignment: Fuck Fight and Feast, in which I must enact a religious/political revolution that recenters the values of Skyrim around brute physical might and the pursuit of fleshly pleasures. In another astounding showing of his giving spirit, the Devil inserted me as the resurrected high king of the faction most suited to this mission in the country most suited to it. The Foresworn are a pack of demon worshiping savages that only want to hunt and fuck all day and fight anyone that wants to take their land away from them. Now I just need to spread this culture across Tamriel like the barbarian version of Tiber Septim.
Speaking of barbarians, I'd taken a pair of complementary missions to kick start my path on my main objective, those being: An Influent Voice and The Urge. The first required me to become influential within a hold of Skyrim, the second gave me the psychotic urges of the Dark Urge and required me to either embrace, reject, or do a bit of both with that murderous intent while completing another Standard or Grand mission. It was way easier taking over The Reach with a sexy genocidal narrator egging me on while making every depraved act of violence sing in my blood like the best crack cocaine high ever.
Obviously I embraced the Urge, and he carried me to greatness. I cashed out the Influent Voice Mission for 50 points, and The Urge finished as well, taking away my sexy narrator and psychopath easy mode and granting in its place the Bhaal Slayer transformation and a Template Stacking I & II of The Dark Urge. This second reward is far more valuable than the first, as I cannot purchase Templates for myself using the Waifu Catalog, that option being one of the many restrictions on my account. By gaining the Template by completing a job posted my one of the higher ups in the Company, I neatly bypass that lock.
The Dark Urge Template is also completely configurable, delivering unto me a level twelve character creator to fold over into myself. I chose Half Wood Elf for compatibility so I don't lose my Breton advantages, and couldn't adjust my attributes, that sheet never coming up, though I know that my physical scores are well above 20 in this god-bod. Then I just dumped my levels into Barbarian, gaining extra power from my Rage, mini-Hulk style.
It may have greater advantages to choose something else or to multiclass, but nothing else matched what I needed to become better. At level 3 I took the Bear Wildheart (pass on the piercings) which granted me an enhanced form of rage based on an animal totem. Choosing bear grants me a fifty percent resistance to all forms of damage besides psychic while Raging. At levels 6 and 10 I gained Aspects of the Beast options and took Bear to double my functional strength and Elk to increase my footspeed. At levels 4, 8, and 12 I gained feats which are non-class specific special abilities. I took Great Weapon Master to increase my abilities with two handed weapons, Tavern Brawler to increase the power of my fists, throws, and improvised weapons (which includes hitting a dude with another dude!), and Actor which helps me greatly sell bullshit.
Finally I got to choose my gear, but was limited to only one Legendary gear piece, and I chose the trident: Nyrulna, a divine champion's weapon infused with the power of the wind and thunder. For the rest of my kit I took the Ring of Regeneration, the Cloak of Protection, The Fey Semblance Amulet, and the Bonespike clothing set. The Company let me do some limited transmog, so the Bonespike set didn't look like ladies sportswear with playdough glued on, and instead looked like a properly savage and brutal mashup of furs, bones, tusks, horns and runes. Swap the Cloak model for some Game of Thrones fur, and the jewelry for carved ivory, morph the trident to pair with my axe, and I was an intensely satisfied employee.
With my options locked in, I felt an incredible lightness to me. The enhanced body of Red Eagle already felt like I had lightning coursing through my veins, but the sudden doubling of my functional strength along with the enhancements to my footspeed stacking up made me feel like I barely touched the ground, like my every step could send me into the distance. Despite that lightness, my skin toughened up from my Unarmored Defense Class Trait, becoming tougher than the dwarven metal scattered about the room.
Donning my gear brought a similar feeling of power residing just under my skin, and some time before a polished silver mirror psyched me up to go lead the savages following me without the Durge egging me on. The guy really impressed them, and with the Actor feat and my new get up, I felt up to the challenge of channeling my inner psycho and keeping this show rolling, but before I left mentally browsed my HUD - my company smart device was implanted into me cyborg style for that Pelenor Whitestrake Drip - and added the Alluring Whisper lure to my build. A supernaturally compelling voice seems like a must have to clear my insane mission.
Couldn't let the Devil down. It would be bad for my health.
I stepped out of the former Jarl's chamber and walked into the main chamber of the Underkeep, and my arrival sparked a wave of cheers among the Forsworn. Riding that high I hiked up to the Mournful Throne and sat my ass down. Below me the Madmen of the Reach gathered, shouting for more people to come as I held my first and hopefully last session at court.
"Bring me Madanach." I projected my voice down to the crowd, but no one needed to run off to carry out my command.
"I am here, Red Eagle." announced an elderly yet stout man wearing a fur kilt and black body and face paint.
Despite spending decades deprived of sunlight and substance, Madanach looked yoked like a juicy gym bro. Hell, everyone looked jacked in their skimpy barbarian outfits. Thank the Devil I'm the jackedest of them all, and have the best barbarian outfit of them all too. Bask in my glory, peasants.
Rallying my attention, I spoke, "You led the last rebellion. You were a fair and just king. If that man still exists after all the years in captivity, then I ask him to rise up once again and help show the people of the Reach what they are meant to be."
My words brought about more cheers as the old man knelt and placed a hand over his heart in acceptance. I wanted to cheer too having successfully fobbed off responsibility for managing these primitives. The position of figurehead sounds just fine to me. Demagogue for life. Flexing my muscles I channeled my inner post Sons of the Patriots congressman. If anyone could project the mission given to me by the Devil and make it sound incredible, it was Him!
"You took the Reach for your own, with the power of your own hands and the hands of those you inspired to follow you." I began my monologue clenching my fists tightly in front of me "You ruled as your heart commanded you to, with mercy and tolerance, but then Ulfric Stormcloak came with his companions and ended your rule in bloody slaughter." as expected, that brought the boos but I suddenly stood up and shouted, "And he was right to do so! Ours is a land of the truly free! A nation of action, not words! A land ruled by strength, not laws! We fought, not to restore our kingdom, but to put power and justice back where they belong. In the hands of the people! And that is why I must continue my war. We were happy to live on our land, and be free, but the rest of the world hates freedom. That is why I must continue my war! Because if we sit here and enjoy our freedom then they are just going to come again, and keep coming until all that we loved is crushed into the ground! If they hate freedom, then I will force freedom upon them and dare them not to love it! Fuck the Empire! Fuck the Stormcloaks! Fuck the Thalmor, and the Jarls! Fuck Everybody! I won't stop till every man, woman, and child in Skyrim is free, to think and to act, for themselves! Long live freedom, damnit!"
Thank God for my proficiency and advantage in deception and performance, and for the extreme views of this audience, and most of all thank you for Senator Armstrong, the greatest depiction of an American politician ever. I barely believed a word of what I just said, but I delivered it all with the passion and zeal of a true believer, of a minister preaching to his flock. Below me I knew for a fact my words were planted in every heart. These people would gladly fight endless bullshit wars just because I tell them too.
God bless America!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Starting World: The Elder Scrolls [Events of Skyrim]
Starting budget 210
Patron
The Devil free [210]
Intensity [10]
Me and My Girlfriend(s) (PvE) 0
100%/0% -5
Heritages Banned 1
Potential Connection 0
Lawless 2
Limited 1
Disabled 3
Standard 0
Intact Weaknesses 1
Defense Rebates Disabled 1
Power Swap Banned 1
None 2
Standard 0
None 2
Orbs
White Eye Orb free [210]
Red Eye Orb free [210]
You as Red Eagle (Substitute) of T5 -20 [190]
Bindings
Tantric Arts -15 [175]
Art of Transformation -15 [160]
Art of Warding -15 [145]
Lures
Alluring Whisper -20 [125]
Talents
Body Tune-Up -5 [120]
Athletic -5 [115]
Martial -10 [105]
Wild -5 [100]
Communication -10 [90]
Soul -10 [80]
Blessed -30 [50]
Land -30 [20]
Added Potential x2 [You as Red Eagle has Skyrim Leveling, Dragonborn] -10 [10]
Covert -10 [0]
Everlasting -10 [-10]
Misc Perks
Mapper -10 [-20]
Generic Waifu Perks
HUDᵈˡᶜ[You as Red Eagle] -10 [-30]
Mission Rewards +50 [20]:
An Influent Voice. in The Elder Scrolls
Credits [50];
The Urge in Generic
Other [Bhaal Slayer Transformation]; Other [Template Stalking Dark Urge 1 & 2];
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A big thanks to wstiglet for his support of me and my family. You too can support us at
ko-fi.com/jmanm