Tale Two: Love That Wasn't Here

"Tara!"

He screamed from accross the hall as I dragged her head straight into the nearest pole; the rage that stirred choked up my chest; it had no pause nor reverse,

I stared at her in total disgust, I hated her so much, I wanted her gone...

Those pitiful eyes she gave me didn't matter, she should've known before she crossed the line,

Yet before I could lay another hand on her...

"Tara!"

He yelled again, this time in my face;

I was stunned at how fast he ran to come to her aid, he was never that swift with me, all the more reason the fury could suffocate me.

He stood before me with his face so red, they could burn; the anger plunging up his throat...

I gazed into his eyes powerlessly as he slammed my grip of her; did he really just do that to me?

After all I sacrificed for him?

For a petty wench that crawled her way in?

Heaven knew how much in that very moment I could throw her in front of a moving train, and watch as her blood splatters on the rails;

How much I resented that he chose her....

The pain that boiled stirred up flaming, the pain that he would never be mine...

He pulled her aside to stand beside him and I watched as his hand clenched tightly into hers, it was like a screw went loose.... It wasn't mine.

"Peter..." I let out as though I'd breathe my last, reaching my hand towards him; he turned to walk away...

Maybe I'd just go crazy then,

"Peter!"

I yelled in agony as though my soul had plunged to hell;

"You love me Peter! You love me!"

There he paused, the hope in my eyes that he'd run to me, yet his grip didn't leave her arm...

I could wish for a million things at that moment,

For the love that we once had, to the joy we once cherished, for the plans we wrote to keep; watching him fulfill them with her, I could wish to press restart.

"Tara..." He whispered coldly, "We're done"

Again it banged like I had been shot six bullets to the brain, yet the heart still beats hopelessly; seeing as he walked on. The hurt so excruciating, my chest could tear open.

He chooses her, he always chooses her....

Why couldn't he do same with me?

My heart so heavy I fell to the ground, but that didn't make him stop, not even a glance at my face now bleeding from the inner tears my lips couldn't explain...

She was always around, I was a fool to not notice,

How he laughed different when she walked in, the stolen glances when she wasn't aware...

I could've seen it all, I was a fool indeed.

The way he went about with her, my sillyness saying she's just a friend...

The constant efforts I kept putting in to see him pleased, she brushed off as she effortlessly swept him;

He chose me.... He said I was his last, he promised me forever, even placed a ring on my finger, he said.....

It all meant nothing, he stole the final opportunity to walk away and have me to blame, what a fool:

When I battled with the weight of losing my baby,

Sure it was a childhood mistake, it didn't matter to him: he loved me either way...

But he left when she did, how could I bear two losses?

Maybe I really didn't deserve him...

But in the moment, my head had no rational thoughts...

I stormed into my car and drove as fast as I could before they would make it out of the park, straight into their face .... He saw me coming;

"TARA!"

That was the final call, but I couldn't hear a thing, I had gone all numb to even hear my heart say stop....

The grief had taken control, the anger that he didn't see anything wrong with leaving me in the dark and giving him my all,

The hurt that my had daughter died and when I needed him even more, he walks to another even when he said he'd stay...

The brazenness of him to hold the hand of her and say she's mine...

In a second, I opened my eyes, it was bright like the morning....

What had happened?

I stepped out to see a body laying lifeless on the floor with bruises and blood soaking it could make a pool, whose was it?

Why was it neither bringing me joy nor pain.....

Taking straining steps forward, I saw it, with my hands over my face in much more agony, I wept like I could crush; No...

This wouldn't have happened, this wasn't how the story ends,

If only she didn't wish for more and he didn't offer more;

For a love I gave my all I could die; and the insecurities I burned so we could shine,

Yet in a blink I was replaced like I was never there...