Chapter 75

        I sat on the couch with my legs wrapped on each other. I held a handful of chips while I used my other hand to adjust the blanket on my body. It rained and so I was cold. I turned on the TV and used the remote to control it.

       I kept my eyes fixated on the TV show while stuffing the chips in my mouth. I chewed gently and just watched the TV show. I was trying my best to not think about what happened last night with Xavier. I woke with a sudden flush of realization and I felt dirty.

      I couldn't believe I actually did all that nasty stuff with my step brother and even offered to give him a blow job.

      "Oh my god," I blurted in an undertone when I saw I couldn't stop thinking about him fingering me.

       The thoughts made me feel nauseated and now, I feel like I regret letting him touch me. I loved how he sparked the urges in me, made me horny and made me cum. It was indeed an experience I would remember but the fact that he is my step brother just makes the story different.

     "This shouldn't happen again," I told myself taking a deep breath. I stood up from the couch and walked to Mom and Dad's room. I had no idea what I was searching for but I walked inside the room and closed the door behind me.

       Their bed wasn't the expected king-sized bed. It was a medium sized bed and I just sat on the bed. I missed them and wondered what they'd be doing. If they were home, mom would probably be in her small garden and try to talk Dad into helping her with some tools. Dad would turn down her invitation and tell her he was fixing his vehicle.

      I smiled at the memories I held of Dad. He played the role of a Father so greatly that I couldn't have asked for anyone better. Dad would help me take Xavier's clothes or would I use the word steal? Well, I barely had to buy hoodies and Polo T-shirt because most of Xavier's clothes turned mine. I smiled looking at the hoodie I was wearing. The zip-up hoodie belonged to Xavier, Dad got it for me and since then it became mine.

      I remembered the first time I wore it and the way Xavier grimaced when he saw me.

    "Why are you wearing my hoodie?"

     "Is it yours?" I asked acting oblivious.

       "Is it?" Dad added and Xavier swallowed the lump in his throat.

      "Dad did you give it to her?" He turned his head to Dad who was grinning.

      "It fits her better Xavier, allow your sister have it."

"Exactly."

    His gaze returned to me and I winked at him. "I'll see you later Dad, I have to get to school."

     I walked behind Xavier to his truck and we drove to school.

         The memories filled my head as I laid on the bed and atared at the ceiling. I dialed mom's number but she wasn't taking her calls. I called Dad too and his wasn't available. I sighed and rolled my eyes. Why couldn't I reach them now that I missed talking to them? I continued looking blankly at the ceiling and then my phone buzzed.

     I turned immediately and looked at my screen. A frown appeared on my face when I saw the caller ID. It was James calling and I had no idea what he wanted to say again. I picked the call and placed the phone on my ear. As usual he called my name,

    "Emily darling?"

     I took a second to think of what to respond. Whenever James called me, he triggered me to anger. "What's the problem?" I blurted.

      "There's no problem, Emily. I just wanted to talk to you."

      I kept quiet and rolled my eyes. I didn't want to have this conversation again.

     "Emily?" He called. I could feel how badly he wanted to convince me. He was insistently repetitive and I just clenched my jaw.

     "I'm listening."

        "Emily I know you hate me. Trust me, your hatred for me is justified. But I need you to know you're my daughter Emily."

      "James please—"

       "No, listen to me please. I tried looking for you, I came back for you baby but your mom made it so hard to come in contact with you. Emily I tried my best to still be that father figure in your life."

       "I can't remember any of that happening."

     "Emily."

     "Can I go already? I can't keep up with this conversation."

     "Just hear me out first. You're my daughter and you know I care about you."

     "I don't have anything with you James, I do not care if you show up or not. I need you to know I cannot come with you."

     "You need to understand me," he asserted.

      "No, you need to understand to me. I'm sick of you trying to convince me to go against my wish. The only reason I still take your calls is because of Dad. He says I shouldn't ignore your calls but if you keep stressing this, I'll ignore you."

     "Emily I'll take care of you. I'll give you whatever you need, just ask and it will be all yours. I can get you a car, a new house, vacations? Anything Emily. I'll make sure you're comfortable and you don't have to share a room with that perverted boy,  Xavier."

      I swallowed the lump that formed in my throat when he called Xavier's name.

     "Emily I want to protect you. I don't want anyone sexualizing you. I want to protect you from Xavier who is always looking for an opportunity to exploit you."

      "Nobody is exploiting me." I tried to lie.

      "I know what is going on. I know Xavier is sexually attracted to you and keeps looking at you. Emily any man who truly loves you will not always want to have you in his arms like Xavier. He wouldn't lust after you and try to use you without your permission."

      I listened to everything James said and I couldn't help but think of how it was the truth. I hated that James was saying the truth, Xavier always wanted to have me, he makes it hard to be around him without wanting to get sexual.

     "I have no sexual relationship with Xavier." I lied again.

      I had to deny it because he was making me feel guilty and if I didn't, it would look obvious.

     "Emily."

     "Yes?"

      "It's okay to have a boyfriend Emily. I just want you to know you deserve the best and you should be with someone who cares about you and would want to help you."