Chapter 59. -Decision to leave or stay...

Sakashi looked at the window for about an hour before she looked back at Azusa. He was completely asleep on his side peacefully, she sighed. Closing her eyes for a few seconds she stood up and slid off the bed. Sakashi then walked out the room and saw Luke still on the couch. However he was passed out cold from a heap amount of hard liquor in his system. Sakashi walked towards the door to leave but stopped. She turned around and walked to the supply drawer and opened the drawer. She then grabbed a pen and piece of paper. Closing the drawer She turned around and walked to the kitchen then sat at the table and started writing. Once Sakashi finished she stood up and folded the paper. Turning around she jumped and got nervous. "Well well, What are you in here doing at this time of night? It's 4 o'clock in the morning." Wesley asked as he was leaning against the fridge watching her. "I was writing a letter." Sakashi replied. "Oh? For who?." Sakashi sighed. "Myself. It's private but It's a letter to my future self." She told him. Wesley stood up straight and walked over to her. "Oh? Can I read it?." He asked as he approached her. "NO! I just said it's private. You know? Like My personal diary." she told him firmly. Wesley smirked and snatched it from her hand and began unfolding it. Sakashi became nervous and angry before she suddenly kicked him directly between his legs and reclaimed her letter. Wesley hunched down and grunted. "I told you it's private, it's just a letter telling myself I want the life I have now with you guys." She told him firmly before running to the room and closed the door before locking it. Her heart thumped hard as she almost put herself in a tough situation. She could hear Wesley cursing in frustration but thankfully left her alone. Once she calmed down she stepped away from the door and placed the letter underneath Azusa's pillow. She kissed his forehead before she walked to the window and lifted the window shield. She felt the cool breeze and closed her eyes taking in the fresh air. When she opened her eyes she looked back at Azusa and saw how peacefully asleep he was. She smiled softly before turning her head and began pushing herself up to jump out the window. "Sakashi, I need you, I can't live without you... you are the only one who's given me hope and love I longed for." Azusa said as he was still asleep. Sakashi heard and froze, staying crouched on the window. She looked at the ground and kept blinking as tears fell from her eyes. She knew he was sleep talking but his words had her feeling guilty. She wanted to leave. Yet she also wanted to stay. Her heart began thumping hard as her body trembled to continue moving forward. She closed her eyes and slowly began stepping back into the room. Once she stood back in the room she turned and faced Azusa and blinked. Her heart wouldn't let her leave. She hated how she felt. 'Why can't I just leave? He hurts me, I'm miserable! So why do I stay?' She began asking herself. She pulled the window shield down and shut the window before locking it. She turned and walked to the door and cracked it open and peaked out. Wesley had gone back to bed, she walked back out and walked to the small room that young Ayato was asleep in and looked at him as he slept. She smiled softly before leaning down and kissed his forehead. He was now about 3 years old. Sakashi realized she has a family with Azusa and doesn't want to cause heartache by making Ayato choose which parent he wants to take him. She doesn't want Ayato to have divided parents. She knelt down to Ayato and lifted him up into her arms and walked over to the chair that can bend back into a small bed. She sat down and pushed the chair back till it went flat and snuggled into Ayato and began to slowly fall asleep.

Morning arrived and it was 8:00am. Azusa began to wake up and opened his eyes. He sat up and looked over to Sakashi's side of the bed and unfortunately noticed sakashi was gone. He sighed and looked down. Tears filled his eyes fast before he took a deep breathe and slid out of bed. He turned to adjust his pillow and noticed a folded paper. He grabbed it and opened the letter and began reading it.

"Dear Azusa: listen to me. I feel like I gotta say what's on my mind. What happened between us was hard for me to deal with. And Something about us now Just Doesn't seem right, Luke and Wesley keeps getting in our way for a happy life. But I've got to do what's best for me. I know You'll be okay. So yes I've got to move on and find myself and who I really am. I just don't belong here with you guys,

I hope you understand. But smile hun because if we cross paths again, We might find a new start someday.

But at least for now, I gotta leave now.

Now please don't think I'm eager to leave, because I Don't wanna leave it all behind. But when I ask you a favor, I get my hopes up. And I watch them fall every single time. It's just to hard To watch it all Slowly fade away. Because you told me to. I'm leaving today. I know you will think "What about us and everything we've been through?" Well; What about trust? I know You never wanted to hurt me. But What about me and how you always made me feel? What am I supposed to do if you make no efforts for me? Im leaving now but I'll miss you......goodnight.....goodbye..I love you.... take care of Ayato for me..."

Azusa sobbed and shut his eyes and pressed his right thump and pointer finger on his eyes trying to make himself stop crying. Azusa then placed the letter in his drawer and locked it before he took several breathes to calm down. After a few minutes be pulled himself together and walked out the room. Luke still asleep and Wesley asleep he walked to the kitchen and prepared some cereal for him and Ayato. Before he poured milk he walked to the smaller room to wake Ayato. He walked in and immediately noticed sakashi and Ayato asleep on the chair. He became wide eyed and froze. His heart beat hard within his chest and realized sakashi couldn't leave. He realized she truly does love him enough to not leave even when she was attempting to. He smiled softly in relief and walked over to them and leaned down gently kissing Sakashi's forehead and gently lifted Ayato away from sakashi. Sakashi grumbled before she flipped to her other side, turning and faced her back towards Azusa. He chuckled and walked out the room with Ayato and gently shook him. "Hey, Ayato time to wake up and eat some breakfast.." he whispered gently. Ayato began to slowly wake up. After a few minutes later, Ayato and Azusa began eating breakfast. As Ayato ate, Azusa wrote on a piece of paper while he ate. Once they finished Ayato jumped down and began playing around. He then decided to jump and wake luke up. Ayato wasn't clear with what he was yelling but he was telling Luke to wake up and play with him. Luke grunted and grumbled at the sudden awakening. Azusa finished writing and walked to the small room and saw sakashi still asleep. He smiled softly before walking over and lifted her up gently before walking her to their room. He gently laid her down on their bed and slid his letter into her right hand before placing the blanket over her and walked out the room. He closed the door and smiled when he felt little hands grabbing his pants and tugging wanting to play. He knelt down and lifted Ayato to the air and began spinning him. "I'm gonna get you." He told Ayato as he spun him. Ayato giggled before slightly screeching and laughed. Wesley walked out and watched Azusa and rolled his eyes. "Your girl was up late last night.." Wesley said to him. "Ok and? She can sleep when she wants to." He replied. "I'm taking him to the park. Sakashi is asleep so don't bother her." Azusa said firmly. "Yeah yeah." Wesley replied and walked out the door and left. Luke kept grumbling and held his head. He was having a terrible hangover and felt as if everything around him was spinning. Azusa smirked and left taking Ayato to the park that was about 5 miles away.

Hours past since then, Wesley was still gone and Azusa was still out with Ayato. Luke was passed out sleeping his hangover off. Sakashi opened her eyes and stretched before she sat up and looked around. She felt something in her hand and looked down and pulled up her hand and saw she had a letter in her hand. She opened it and began reading.

"Sakashi my love, we are both Broken hearts and battle great battles. But it's ok if it's still goodbye. I know you have Restless nights but yet feel lullabies. Because anything soothing Helps make your pain go away for just a while. I have realized I let you down over and over again. I Told you that I'd help you become free and I'd leave my current life. But I haven't. Your right I am a coward. I'm honestly Building up the strength just to say That I'm sorry sakashi. Please forgive me and forgive me For breaking all the promises that I fail to keep.

Its all me and my scared heart.

This time is the last time that I will ever beg you to stay, But your already wanting to leave. So before I return you have another chance to leave. But I still hope to see you still here waiting for me. But I don't want to be selfish anymore. I know your heart is

Filled with sorrow and pain, and Knowing that I am to blame...For leaving your heart out in the dark and pain. I don't blame you for wanting to walk away, And leave me with the price to pay. So if you do leave..... And before you go I want to say....That I'm sorry.... they say if you love something, you will let them go.... here's your chance.... I'll take care of Ayato... you take care of yourself. See you later.... maybe..... I truly do love you.... Azusa...."

Sakashi looked up and looked out the window. She sighed and gripped her letter in her hands and began trembling in heartache. She suddenly folded the letter and threw it in a drawer and ran out the door. She saw Luke and shook her head before she opened the door and ran out the door. She ran fast down the trail as tears fell heavily down her face. For miles she ran occasionally walking periodically to catch her breathe. After about an hour and a half she arrived to her destination; the park.

Sakashi looked around as she breathed heavily to catch her breathe. "Ayato! Come, time to go home." Azusa said. "See momma now?" Ayato asked and ran to Azusa giggling. Azusa sighed and smiled softly as he lifted Ayato into his arms. "Well that's a big maybe." He replied and began to walk. Sakashi hid behind a tree and smiled softly. As Azusa and Ayato walked by the tree Sakashi suddenly jumped out and jumped directly on Azusa and kissed him tightly. Azusa became wide eyed and almost lost grip on Ayato. "MOMMA!!!" Ayato screeched in excitement and wrapped his arms around Sakashi's head. Sakashi giggled and pulled away and took Ayato from Azusa and hugged him close to her before she spun around with Ayato. "Hi baby, sorry I'm late hun I overslept." Sakashi told Ayato. Azusa looked at Sakashi and immediately began to cry. "Sakashi?" He softly spoke and looked down. He then noticed other people and looked over. It was spike and Leemodo taking a walk around the park and got nervous. They were not in a disguise but realized this is when he will loose her. He will not try to take her. "Well this is where I say goodbye huh?" He asked her as he looked down. Sakashi looked at Azusa and looked over seeing spike walking with Leemodo and looked back at Azusa. She blinked and grabbed Azusa's hand and pulled him along with her facing away from spike and leemodo's location and began walking. "No, I'm not going anywhere. Now let's go home. Luke needs help he's got a bad hangover.." she replied. Azusa was slightly confused but felt a relief. "wait what?" Azusa replied. "I'm not leaving, I made my choice. Let's go home.." she told him. Spike nor Leemodo noticed them as they kept walking the path. Azusa smiled and locked fingers with sakashi and began walking back with sakashi. "Ok." He replied.

When Azusa and sakashi where almost home sakashi places Ayato down to his feet and allowed him to walk the rest of the short distance. Ayato hard dark green hair and his eyes were sky blue. He became long and thin but healthy. Ayato was very loving and already has a big heart. He had dimples, they dimpled adorably when he smiled. He wasn't a perfect child, he had fits and bad attitude moments. However, He loved to play with passion and love, he loved hugging everyone. He was sensitive and gental for animals when he crossed paths with them. He has light brown skin and his hair length was long with two strands of hair flowing down his cheeks. He already showed signs of his own magical ability. Unfortunately with his strong Bones and magical powers being observed and monitored. Luke and Wesley knew he will be strong as he gets older and decided to use him for their evil life of crime. Azusa knew he was a target for those monsters and wanted to stop them before they take action. Ayato had the ability to air and water bend. He could manipulate minds and get what he wanted. Which was why Azusa is worried he will learn to master his power and use it against his own family to get what he wants. He knew his power would benefit Wesley in many ways. However sakashi wasn't aware of his power yet and Azusa hesitated to tell her. Azusa feared sakashi would panic and react in a way that could cause him to act horrid to her. But he needs to tell her about their plan for her child. He wanted to warn her that they want to take the love in his heart and make it into a terrible weapon.

Once they arrived home Ayato ran inside as he giggled. Azusa stopped suddenly and faced sakashi and kissed her firmly and hard. Gripping her hips and pulled her body into his and gently wrapped his arms around her shoulders holding her in a strong embrace. Sakashi kissed him back and leaned into him closing her eyes.

Wesley stepped outside and saw Azusa and sakashi. "You two need to get a fucking room." He yelled out before walking back inside. Azusa and sakashi ignored him and kept their focus and wouldn't pull away.

Luke was eating slowly and kept grumbling with a migraine while Wesley began playing around with Ayato.