webnovel

SpiritCatcher: A Trial in Teyvat

After a girl dies before her time, the truth of her world is revealed to her... Not really, but it's certainly what it felt like to her, after all, it's not everyday the God of Gods makes you a part of a Multidimensional Law Enforcement Squad.

Densekugi · ゲーム
レビュー数が足りません
41 Chs

Extra 3! Sibley's Cardboard Theater!

THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS CONTENT FROM DEVIL ARTEMIS, I DONT CLAIM ANY OF THE CONTENT THAT YOU WILL READ EXCEPT THE REACTIONS OF THE CHARACTERS, ALSO THE REASON ALL THE CHARACTERS SIBLEY MET ARE IN THE PUBLIC, IS BECAUSE THEY WANTED TO SEE WHAT SHE WAS PLANNING.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Furina stepped on the stage of Opera Epiclese, the public stayed silent, waiting to hear what show would be on first, "Welcome my everyone to Opera Epiclese!" Furina greeted everyone with a bow, "Today I, Furina De Fontaine, I'm glad to inform you that thanks to special permission from one of the highest Divine authorities, I am officially allowed to show you comedy from other worlds!!" She explained, hardly being able to keep her own excitement in check.

When Furina gave Sibley the signal, she began projecting the stuff she chose specifically for this on the screen of the Opera.

Kermit's Secret Jutsu.

The scene starts with a panning shot from behind a tree, which reveal Kermit talking to Guy and Lee.

"Is that a frog?" Diluc asked outloud in surprise, "I think the right question is why is it standing on two feet and talking?" Albedo corrected.

Kermit: Sooo... You guys can't do any ninjutsu?

Guy: Please! Who needs Ninjutsu?

"Ninjas!" Klee replied as if it was a children's video.

Lee: Taijutsu is superior!

Kermit: Okay guys, *Makes a Rasengan* say that when you have to block this Rasengan... with your foot... And it blows up.

"Blocking an attack like that would definetly cripple any normal creature." Ei said in confirmation, "It wasn't on debate you old hag!" Scaramouche responded, causing Ei to get a little saddened at her creation hating her.

Guy: Is that supposed to scare me?

Kermit: Actually it's supposed to handicap you.

"Is there alchemy that could fix the damage from that?" Amber asked Albedo, "I'd have to know the damage that could be caused from the attack, otherwise I have no way to give an estimate." Albedo replied simply.

Guy: Me? Handicapped? Ha! That'll be the day! Can you believe this Lee? This guy throws up a bunch of gang signs for some fancy Ninjutsu and suddenly he's the protagonist!

Everyone got a little thrown off by that joke, "...I'll be damned, they're self conscious..." Miko commented, "There is literally no way to explain this given what I know about Information Leaks." Nahida responded to that, confusing everyone further.

Lee: Ninjutsu is indeed impressive. But Taijutsu takes real skill! Perseverence! Determination! And-

Guy: And lube!

Kermit+Almost Everyone in the Opera: Fucking what!?

"Unless he means sumo no kind of fighting style requires lube!" Childe noted out, "And it's not even oil actually! It's sweat!" He corrected himself.

Guy: Don't look at me like that! You wouldn't know the first thing about being a real ninja!

Kermit: I know it doesn't include lube! ...Hey Lee, blink twice if you need help.

Lee: *Blinks Twice.*

"In the name of the Tsaritsa, someone save that poor kid..." Arlecchino said under her breath.

Guy: You wanna see some Ninjutsu? I'll give you some Ninjutsu! *Throws a gang sign* Drown a b1tch no Jutsu! *Throws a glass of water at Kermit.*

"...Besides the fact that throwing a gang sign was actually a requirement..." Zonghli started, "How is drenching someone a special technique?" He continued his question, "Especially when they might have an Hydro Vision?" Kokomi continued with her own question.

Kermit: *Looks at himself all wet then at Guy in disbelief.* What the fuck was that?

Guy: Salt water.

Albedo's eyes widened when he heard that, "Oh that'll do it for a frog." He stated, "How about you explain instead of being vague like the bard?" La Signora requested in annoyance.

Kermit: ...I don't get it, is that supposed to- *Stops and makes a horrified face, before starting to scream in pain.* Ah... AHH! AHHH!! AHHH! AHHHH! AAAHHH!!! AAAAAA- *Video end*

There were a ton of laughs from the more immature members of the audience, but the more mature ones were either confused or horrified, "...That's comedy!?" Lynette questioned, "Oh come on sis! *Laughs.* That was pretty funny!" Lyney defended, "I'm more surprised the Electro Archon seems to be laughing..." Freminet commented, seeing Ei hold in a laugh.

The Perfect Dinner. (Part of the Perfect Guest.)

Opening shot of Cell sitting at a table, cutting then to a rotisserie chicken getting passed to him.

Cell: You realize I have no need for this right?

"...Is that a giant cockroach?" Paimon asked, causing an uproar at how sudden that was, "...What did I say?" She asked Aether who was also laughing.

Cell: I'm a biological android, I don't require any actual nourishmen-*Kermit shushes him.*

"Did he just say android? And he's alive by the actual meaning of it?" Ei questioned in surprise, "Maybe this will actually be educational..." Miko considered.

Kermit: Just enjoy it Cell, I made it with love. *Does heart hands while chicken has menacing effect that creeps Cell out.* Something wrong?

"He's scared by the chicken, that would be the end of Xiangling!" Hu Tao joked, causing Paimon to hold back a chuckle.

Cell: Is it going to attack me?

"No, that happens to Ei when she tries to cook." Miko corrected, making her friend to look at her feeling betrayed, "I'm surprised I can actually cook..." Scaramouche said, causing Ei to feel even more betrayed somehow.

Kermit: What?

Cell: The chicken! Does it have a stand!?

"A stand!? Like in Jojo!? Why would it have one!?" Jean and Diluc asked in shock and confusion, "Wait what??" Barbara asked in confusion, "What? It's a good series." Jean defended herself, "It is." Diluc agreed.

Kermit: Cell, why would the chicken have a stand? I just happened to cook some dinner.

Cell: Bull. Shit! You don't just cook dinner! In fact... I bet Zarbon's under the table!

"What kind of life does he live to be this scared of a chicken?" Furina whispered to Sibley, who just smiled in return, "Answer me!!" Furina demanded.

Kermit: For God's sake Cell! I was just doing something nice for you!

Cell: *Growls.*

Kermit: What? What, why are you staring at me? Is it the fork? I told you he preferred the booty straw Shallot.

Shallot: *Appears randomly behind Cell surprising him.* Sorry Cell, forgive my ignorance.

The entire audience was lost at the straw part, "W-What booty straw!?" Columbina questioned, "And where did that guy come from!?" She added quickly.

Cell: What are you guys on about!? I'll eat with a fork just fine. *Stabs the chicken with the fork.*

Chicken: *Summons Star Platinum and beats Cell into the ground.*

"The cooked chicken actually had a stand..." Diluc said, blanking slightly at the sight along with Jean.

Kermit: Holy shit the chicken did have a stand.

Shallot: ...So is he gonna finish that or...

Kermit: *Shrugs*

"They care about if Cell is gonna finish that rather than the fact that the CHICKEN has a STAND!!" Lumine exclaimed in surprise, "Well that's all I brought cause I knew some brain cells would be fried." Sibley told Furina who sighed in relief.

Seeing Furina sigh, Sibley smirked, "I'll be back thought." She told the half God, making her groan in annoyance.

Next Chapter: Cooking with Ei.