The Void of the Mind (Flash Thompson)

As I walk past the gallery of humans whose scents entrance me as if I were walking past a bakery window filled with fresh loaves of bread and hot coffee, I can feel the hunger inside me grow exponentially greater with every waking moment.

As I walk, I find that I am not truly the one piloting my flesh and bones through these claustrophobic streets. I am simply watching through my own eyes as someone marionettes me around like some puppet.

A monster disguised as me.

I keep telling myself that I am in a dream. Perhaps, maybe... maybe this is some sort of combination of a lucid dream and sleep paralysis. One where it all feels so real, but I cannot move my body...

Just my eyes.

When I ate Gwen, I felt as if I were watching a horror movie in first person. I wanted to stop, I wanted it to end, but those actions and those movements did not stop no matter how hard I tried.

God, I tried.

I could feel...

I could taste...

I could smell...

I could hear...

all of it.

Her soft skin being pulled apart by my hands.

Her metallic blood dripping onto my tongue as I devoured her.

That sour scent of her insides filling the air.

Her ear-splitting screams.

And now I walk.

𝙄𝙩 walks...

I am just the vessel.

I want to wake up so badly. I want to open my eyes and find myself in my bedroom like I used to.

Feeling my soft sheets.

Taking a refreshing sip of water from my bedside.

Smelling the breakfast that my mom would make for us every weekend.

Hearing my family's laughter and the music that we'd play downstairs.

We didn't get along much... but God, do I miss those weekends when we would forget our differences and be a real family because no one was too busy to speak to each other on those days.

I took it for granted...

Eren, I can see your memories now... and I really am sorry. I wish I could tell you that I'm sorry a million times. I wish I could tell you how cool I always thought you were, how smart you were, and how that used to piss me off.

I just wanted to be like that...

I figured your mom must have been proud of you. I remember seeing her at all of our performances and award ceremonies when we were kids. She was always there for you... my parents were too busy for that.

I could see in her eyes that it really made her happy to see your achievements and I wanted my parents to be proud of me too. I wanted them to notice me.

I just wanted attention.

I wish I could've apologized honestly, you know, without being a drunken mess, but it's too late now.

I cannot speak.

I cannot scream.

It's as if I have no mouth.

It's been a couple of hours since I killed Gwen.

She'll probably be found eventually, but from what I can see from those memories of these other... futures or timelines, it won't matter.

I don't know where we're walking. I can't really see much, my vision is sort of blurry. It's getting blurred by the second as I feel myself growing weaker from the parasite feeding off of me.

I can see people, I can smell them, I can hear them...

I want to ask them for help, but... my body keeps walking forward, hiding the fact that a vile monster is hiding within my body...

I can feel this symbiote, Venom is what it calls itself, draining my body. It's getting hungry again.

My skin feels like there are a million leaches covering it, all suckling on my body to fill their bellies.

My bones feel as if I'm having all of the nutrients sucked out of them, it hurts so bad with every step. I think they might be broken, but the symbiote is simply filling in the gaps so my body can keep moving.

I'm so tired...

But I know that if I were to fall asleep, the symbiote would just keep marching. I have to stay awake, I need to. Maybe I can take back control of my own body…

I want to be a hero too, like Eren. I want to be a hero like Spider-Man... maybe I can get the strength to move if I keep trying.

No, I can't.

I can feel my brain starting to fade, my thoughts I mean.

I can hear my own voice in my head, but it feels as if it's far away from me inside of an infinite and empty space, bouncing off of the nonexistent walls in an attempt to break free.

The voice keeps getting further and further away from me with each step I take in the real world. Each step expands this neverending void inside of me.

Maybe this parasite that is now controlling my body is doing this on purpose, maybe it's hurting my brain with a plan. Maybe it wants to make it easier to control me.

Am I going insane?

Why does my inner voice keep straying further away from me?

It's so quiet now, it's like a whisper, a whisper from a thousand miles away, yet I can still hear it echoing toward me as if it were just a few feet in front of me.

Everything is starting to become dark now...

My vision is nothing but a small circular cone looking forward, letting in light without any real image.

Someone, please help me.

Anyone.

Parker.

Please...

I don't want to live like this anymore...

.

.

.

What? Where am I? How much time has passed?

Why is everything so dark?

Am I inside of a mouth? It's dark, but I can see rows of teeth just inches from my face.

There's a light...

I can see my hands, covered in darkness, holding someone up by their head. I feel as if my body is inside of someone else's like I'm wearing someone else's skin over my own.

I guess the roles have been reversed.

It hurts.

It hurts so badly. It hurts even worse than it did when I was last awake.

My body isn't healthy anymore. I feel cold, I can't feel my own heartbeat, and my entire body aches. My skin feels as if it's tearing apart and my bones feel even more brittle than before.

Why can't I move? Why can't I speak? Why can't I scream?

Is that... Parker?

It is Parker. Is he trying to save me?

What are all these monsters behind him? Why are they just watching us? Why are some of them covered in the same stuff I am?

That's right...

I did this...

Venom did this...

We did this.

Parker. Please wake up, man. Please, keep fighting.

"And now, just like in every other timeline, we will kill Spider-Man!"

Venom is speaking to him. He's taunting him, using my body to speak as if I were a puppet.

I can feel the overwhelming amount of joy that Venom feels as he speaks to him. I used to feel this way too...

It's that same feeling I'd have when I'd beat him up in the school hallways, watching him writhing in pain on the ground because he wasn't strong enough to fight back.

Then he became Spider-Man and I couldn't touch him anymore.

But Venom...

He's far stronger than him now, just like I was back then. I'm sorry, Parker. This is all my fault...

I can feel myself fading once again, I can see Venom bringing you closer, trying to consume you as he consumed me. I guess this is it for both of us.

I'm sorry.

.

.

.

But we, Venom and I, turned those people into these monsters. We gave them symbiotes of their own, a piece of Venom, and a piece of Eren Parker.

That means we can return that piece of Parker back to him, right?

But Venom is in control, I can't.

No.

This is 𝙢𝙮 body.

Even if it's for just one second, I can take my body back!

When Spider-Man came to be, I wanted to be a hero just like him. Just like you, Parker.

Well, now's my chance.

Parker...

Please, take this part of me, along with the piece of yourself that you left within the symbiote.

This is your power, and it's about time you take it back.

Please, save everyone like you always do.

Please, save me.

Please, wake me from this dream.

And if you can't do that...

Please, kill me.